I grabbed the phone and answered. It wasn’t like I had much choice. He knew where I lived, and he came to visit Phillip quite often. He would probably just come over if I didn’t answer.
“Hey, what’s going on?” I asked.
“I was just wondering if I could see Phillip tonight.”
“He’s with his grandmother.”
“Oh, that’s even better. There’s something I’ve been meaning to show you. Can you come see it?”
“I don’t know if . . .”
“Please, Olivia. It would mean a lot. I’m not exactly the most popular guy around here now. When people heard about what we did, I lost a lot of friends. I still have Mike and my aunt, but I think most other people are making a pretty big effort to avoid me. I could use a friend right now.”
“I know what you mean. You would think no one around here had ever made a mistake.”
“So you’ll meet me at my house?”
“Yeah. I’ll be over in just a few minutes.”
“Before you go, I want to set the record straight. I don’t think we made any mistakes. We just had bad timing about it all. I don’t regret how things happened, though. It’s led me here.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. It was nice to know he didn’t regret the nights we spent together, but telling him that I really didn’t either would only make things worse. I settled for a simple goodbye and got off the phone. Then I walked into the bedroom and started trying to pick out what I was going to wear. My thoughts were strange that evening. The outfit had to be perfect. I found myself caring about how he would perceive me. I needed to look attractive but not desperate. Suddenly, I caught myself. This wasn’t a date. Why was I acting like it was? I was behaving just like I did when I was in high school. This was like our first date all over again. I smiled at that thought. So many memories came back all at once. Didn’t I deserve someone I loved? For that matter, shouldn’t I be with the only man I had ever loved? Who cared what other people thought? This was my life, and I could find a way to make Phillip understand, couldn’t I? It wasn’t like Richard was around anymore. Could Eric be the man I needed him to be? That last thought made me feel bad. Why was I only looking at Eric in terms of what he could be for my son and me? This was the man I still loved, even if I didn’t want to admit it, and I knew he could be what we needed. The real thing I was scared of was if I could be what he needed. Eric still saw me as that same girl from high school, but I was different now. What if he realized one day that everything he pictured in his head was a lie? What if I wasn’t enough?
I looked up at the clock and realized that I had been standing by my closet for almost ten minutes. It was time to make a decision and just go with it. I grabbed the first outfit that looked halfway decent and fixed my hair. Then I walked out. When I got to Eric’s place, I was impressed to see everything he had done to it. I had seen it from the road, but it was so much more impressive up close. The yard was fenced, and there was a swing in the backyard. There was even a path leading down to the lake. That was just the land. The house itself looked like it had been done in the most expensive way possible. It was a new home that was obviously molded to have a classic feel. With its wraparound porches on both floors and the stunning woodwork on the outside, it was the perfect white house I had pictured in my dreams.
I had to marvel at it for a minute before walking inside. When I got up to the porch, Eric opened the door and invited me in.
“Hurry up. There’s a blizzard outside,” he joked, reminding me of the first time we met.
Once we were inside, I took a look around. The foyer was modeled exactly as I told him I wanted it.
“Let me show you the rest of the place,” he said while taking notice of how impressed I was.
He led me all throughout the house. The kitchen was similar to what I had described to him. It had a more modern feel to it, though, which I could appreciate now. There was a basement downstairs where he had a rec room. A pool table, a small bar, and some old games sat down there. A big screen television covered the back wall. It was the perfect place for the adults to relax. Once we were back upstairs, he showed me the bedrooms. There were four in total, and they were all very large. There was a room that I knew Phillip would love. It had so much more space for his things. Eric had even built shelves into the walls to make it the perfect room for a little boy with a lot of toys. The two guest bedrooms could have easily been turned into children’s rooms or a mother-in-law suite. All were equipped with large closets. He had also built an office that served as a small library. He had packed it with books of all kinds, but I recognized all of them. They were my favorites. It was as if he remembered everything about who I was. He knew that this house should have a place for me to escape into books for a while, and I had always wanted a place with plenty of bedrooms because when I was a teenager, I planned to have two or three children. He also knew that we would need an adult room to escape the kids from time to time. That wasn’t the best part, though. When he showed me his room, I truly fell in love with that house. It was perfect. It was big enough for two people and graceful enough for me not to ever want to change one thing about it. It had two walk-in closets and a connecting bathroom with a clawfoot tub and the type of shower I had always wanted.
“This is all really great. I can’t believe you built this place. How could you afford this?” I asked.
“I made a lot of money being an agent, and Marcus still gets me by with plenty left over. I built it for us.”
“We’ve been down that road before. I just don’t know if . . .”
“That’s not what I mean. I promised you that I would give you your dream one day, so I built this house for you. I did it for me, too, because no one would have ever guessed I could do this. You have no idea how much of this stuff had to be done twice because I screwed it up the first time. Let’s just say that I’m never getting what I put into it back out of it,” he joked.
“I sure didn’t know you had it in you. I should have known you could do this, though. When you set your mind to something, there’s no stopping you. There’s still one thing I don’t get. You said you built it for me. What does that even mean?”
“It means that as far as I’m concerned, this is your place, too. You belong here. We both know that. This was your dream, and I just so happened to love it, so I made it real when I got the chance. My dream is standing right in front of me. All I’ve ever wanted was you.”
“This is a lot to take in, Eric. I feel like you’re trying to buy my affection with a house and sweet talk.”
“Is it working?” Eric joked.
“Be serious.”
“Okay, I don’t think I have to buy anything from you because I know you already love me. You just don’t think I’m right for your situation. This house and me turning over a new leaf in my life wasn’t about getting your love. It was about showing you that you’re wrong. I can give our son a great life, and I can be the dad he needs. More than that, I think you know I can love you like you deserve. For once in our lives, why don’t we just let ourselves slip into whatever this is and never look back?”
“And what is this?”
“You tell me. I love you, and I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I don’t care how complicated it is or what people say about us. I just want you, and everything else is something that we can deal with together.”
“So what if I said I feel the same way? Where would we start?”
“Right here. Come with me,” he said and led me to the door where he had ice skates sitting by it.
We walked down to the frozen lake and made our way out onto the ice. It quickly became apparent that Eric should have learned to ice skate before inviting me out there because he could barely stay on his feet. I took his hand and helped him, though. He might not have thought this all the way through, but he was definitely getting points for effort. This was part of the fantasy I had so long ago.
“Sorry about this. I thought I could ju
st wing ice-skating. Boy was I wrong,” Eric said as he nearly tripped again.
“This is a really amazing gesture. You’re right, though. You should have probably learned how to at least stand up on your own before you got out on the ice,” I managed to say before Eric tripped, bringing me down with him.
I landed on top of him, and we both just lay there in pain for a moment. Then we started laughing. This was a disaster, but it was the best kind. As I lay there on top of him, he reached up and brushed the hair out of my eyes.
“Do you know what first attracted me to you?” he asked.
“If you say my breasts, I’m going to slap you,” I joked.
“There was that, but seriously, this face,” he said and touched my cheek.
“Those beautiful eyes mixed with that long dark hair. Then your lips . . . they looked so inviting, yet so unattainable for someone like me. I never stood a chance. I’ve been yours since that day,” he said and kissed me.
As we lay there on the ice kissing like we were teenagers, I realized something. There was a reason I loved this man, and it had nothing to do with what he could give my son or me. It was completely selfish. There was something that Eric didn’t know. I saw him before he even noticed me. When he looked at me on the day we met, I didn’t dare look away from him for a reason. I felt something in that moment. I was truly alive. For the first time, I felt true chemistry with a person like I’ve never felt since. I knew then. He was the boy I wanted to end up with. I had played things cool when we met because he was a little shy, and I didn’t want to show all my cards at the beginning, but I liked him a lot more than he did me. That was still true even then as he embraced me. Eric had always thought that I was somehow special - that a guy like him wasn’t good enough for a girl like me. That wasn’t true, though. I was the one who should have felt that way. I had made a lot of mistakes, and the first one was not letting a man love me who clearly had captured every part of my heart. I wasn’t making that mistake again.
“All right, you’ve got my attention. What else did you have planned for tonight?” I asked.
“I was thinking I could make you dinner, and we could go from there.”
“While that’s a good idea, I’ve had something else in mind that I’ve been dying to do with you for a while now. If you can pick yourself up off this ice and get inside, I might show you what it is,” I flirted and got off him.
I had never seen anyone get off ice so fast. He almost busted his butt a couple of times, but we walked back to the house together, and Eric carried me up to the bedroom. For the first time in years, we had a night together that didn’t feel wrong on any level. I was just with a man I loved and the father of my son. It was perfect in every way. With every kiss and every touch, I felt myself falling more and more for this man.
The next morning, he went out to get donuts just like my dad used to. That whole day was spent doing all of our favorite things, and when it was over, we got our son from my mom’s. I never left Eric’s house again. It became my home, too, on that night. I guess it always was my place, considering that he built it with only me in mind. I told Phillip that Eric had this big house now, and he didn’t want to stay in it alone, so he offered us the chance to live with him. Only being six, he accepted it. I’m pretty sure Phillip knew that more was going on, but he liked Eric, and Richard wasn’t around, so he welcomed any man who showed him the kind of attention that Eric did. In time, we started to show more affection for each other in front of our son. It was hard for him to adjust, but he did eventually. We got married a little over a year after we moved in together. Some people in the area immediately showed support for us. It was as if they thought that getting married made us being together okay. Before, I suppose we were just sinners in their eyes, but to this day, I don’t think there was ever a wrong moment when Eric and I were together. There were a few who would never forgive me, like Richard’s relatives. That was okay, though. I had the man I loved and the perfect little boy in my life. I had everything I needed. A year after the wedding, we told Phillip the truth about Eric. He knew who his real dad was, and things were never the same afterward. Eric stopped being thought of as a stepdad and became what I should have always let him be. He had earned the right to be a father. He was the best one I could ask for.
That wasn’t the end of our time together. We had so many dates and vacations that were absolutely perfect in their own way. Eric believed that even if we were married, we should still date like we weren’t and make love every day like we were teenagers. All that lovemaking led to two more children, a boy and a girl named Jason and Sophia. Our three children became our hearts. We watched them grow up and leave the nest. Just like Eric had said when he described how our lives would be, it broke our hearts when they left, and we didn’t know what to do with ourselves for a while. All through that time, he was my rock, though. Eric was still the man I loved and my best friend. That much never changed. We learned that it never would when it was just us again.
Through the years, we made the best decisions we could and found happiness in the simple company of each other. I never became the doctor I dreamt of being, and after Marcus retired, Eric never made the big bucks again. We didn’t need all that, though. All of my real dreams revolved around the man who went to bed with me every night.
Heartbreak would find us, though. The truth about a little boy brought us back together. If it wasn’t for Phillip, I don’t know if I would have found my way back to Eric, and I’m sure there would have been no true happiness. We found out that Phillip had cancer last year. He fought it, and his wife and children stood by him every step of the way, but we lost him. No parent should ever have to bury their child. On most days, I find myself out at the same spot I used to talk to my dad at after he passed away. Now I talk to my little boy. I tell him I’ll see him again some day. The life we had that was happy for so long seems to have vanished. Some days I don’t remember much anymore. The story of my life comes in fragments. I wonder if I’ve made up parts of it to fill in the holes. I don’t ever forget the love I have for my first-born son or the man who gave him to me, though. I remember all the important things when I’m here, and just in case I forget, Eric’s always there to remind me. Speaking of him, here he comes now. We meet here every week just to talk about old times and remember those who have gone on. Today things seem a little different, though. Eric said he had something important to talk to me about and asked me to come out here. It’s finally time to find out what it is. This is the last chapter of my story. At sixty-six years old, I can only hope that it holds half of the love, heartache, and humor that all the other ones had. With Eric, I’ve lived. Every joy and every pain has been experienced with my best friend. Whatever the rest of the story is, I think I’ll be all right as long as he’s by my side.
Epilogue
“I’ve been freezing waiting on you. Where have you been?” Olivia asked.
“I had to do something. I’ve been thinking, and I love this spot. I love our place and this town, but I’m not willing to let us go out of the world this way,” Eric said.
“What are you talking about? I love our life. I couldn’t be happier with how things have ended.”
“That’s just the thing. You said the word ended. Our lives aren’t over. When my uncle died, I took over paying for his season tickets, and I’ve been to every game in his place. I felt like I had to keep the tradition of going to the games for him. A small part of my life revolved around him at that point and always has ever since. When we lost our parents, that changed us, too. Then there’s Phillip. He gave us so much. I love our son more than I can ever describe. He’s the glue that put our family together, but the memories of what once was have taken over all that we are. We come out to this place and talk to the people we love who have passed on. We do that almost every week, and all we’re left with are memories of the people we used to be. It’s almost like we’re living solely for the past, and a lot of it is painful now that we’re losing people.�
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“I understand that, but this is our home. If the last decade we have left is painful and full of grief, then I can’t think of anyone I would rather experience that chapter of my life with.”
“I can’t either, but our last chapter isn’t going to be painful. We need to leave for at least a while. I once knew a girl who said she wanted to get out of this town. Her back up plan was to have a big house on the lake here. That turned out to be the better plan, but these days, it seems like all there’s left for us here is pain. I don’t want to live for pain or memories of what once was. I want to live for you and all the adventures we still have left together. I want you to be the girl who got the big house and had the family life she wanted, as well as the one who saw what was outside of this town.”
“Do you really think we can just leave? What would we do?”
“Travel the world, or at least as much of it as we want to. We invested well with the money I got from being an agent, and we can pretty much go anywhere we want. Now is the time to live more than ever. I want to experience everything there is to do with you, and I want to take you on dates in the most romantic places in the world.”
“I want that, too. Can we really just pick up and leave, though? Won’t it surprise a lot of people? We’ve always been here.”
“I’m not concerned with other people. I learned a long time ago that your happiness is mine. It’s been my purpose in life to show you how much I love you since I was fourteen. That’s not stopping now just because we’ve aged a little. Instead of staying here and dying in this town, how about we go out there and live again? I think that’s what Phillip would want.”
“I’m in. I’ve got to admit something. I never thought all those years ago that the boy who got hit by two cars just trying to come see me would be everything I needed as a friend and husband. It must have been destiny.”
“That’s what I thought for a while, but I don’t think so anymore. No one chose this life for us. We made it together. I knew you were the only woman I wanted from the first time I saw you, and thankfully, with a lot of luck, you saw something in me. I love you.”
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