by HJ Bellus
Her idea swirls around in my head and by God I don’t even know if I’m man enough to step up and follow that. It’s an insecurity that’s been bred and born in me, then driven into my head over and over throughout the years of being known as the kid in town whose parents killed a couple.
I’m not sure I’ll ever feel worthy of being loved with my past and who I am. But if I want this with Ava and I want her in my life and to give this a really honest shot, then I need to agree and nod.
I need to try. I can’t just avoid it, hiding in the closet of thick walls I’ve built around me, and try to fake it until I make it.
“Deal, Ava.” I place my free hand on top of her hand and gently squeeze.
“I’m not giving up on this, Ava. Please bear with me and my damn stubborn attitude.”
“I was never good enough for my parents or anyone in my life until you. I just want you to love me.”
Her words cause little mother fucking terrorist’s tears to well up in my eyes, but I refuse to let them drop down my cheeks. A smile lights across Ava’s face and the sparkle that I love so much in her deep brown eyes lights right back up.
“That’s all we need. Believe in us that we can go places and do things no matter what the world thinks.”
Ava straightens her legs out and sneakily wraps them around my hips and before I know it, the entrance to her is well centered over my cock. Her arms snake around my neck and she gives me a hug of a lifetime, squeezing hard and letting all of her scent flow over me.
“Ava, you’re incredible, baby. And I’m not saying that my temper will ever get better, so that may be something you just have to live with.”
She pulls her face back until we are nose to nose and then begins talking.
“I can control your temper Mr. Bad Boy. I think I have some parts that you need to survive. When I see you losing it, I’ll control you with my booty.” The playful tone is back in her voice and it makes me feel right at home.
“Oh, and just saying, I also used your toothbrush this morning. I hope you don’t mind.” She shrugs her shoulders up and wrinkles her nose in my direction.
“Well, considering that my tongue has been deep in your honeypot several times, I’m pretty sure you using my toothbrush is just fine with me.”
Our lips connect and we begin kissing softly. I take my time letting her know that I’m all in, and that I can be sweet, gentle, and kind with her through my temper and bad boy lifestyle. I swirl my tongue around her mouth until she lets out a little moan. And that’s when my tongue runs along the front of her freshly brushed teeth and we mold even closer when I take in her scent. Her tongue enters my mouth and then we battle, working each other over until we’re both moaning.
I’m rock hard and I let my sweet little Ava dry hump in my lap. I love sex more than the next guy. Hell, I’m probably even more addicted to sex than is healthy. But in this moment, I soak in our sweet and heated kissing, bathing in her taste with her brown hair brushing over my knuckles.
I peek out of the corner of my eye and check the time on the alarm clock and know I don’t have eternity to spend tasting and enjoying my sweet little Ava. My hands glide down to her hips and my fingers hook in the top of her shorts, oh her tiny, so tiny little shorts. I pull back and gently lay her back on my bed. Diving down to her shorts to find out my naughty girl has no sexy panties covering her ass.
“It was so damn hard to let you sleep last night, Ava, but I figured you needed some beauty rest after all the tangling we have been doing.”
“Actually, it was the best sleep I’ve had in probably a year. I really needed that.”
“Well consider this your wake up call, sweetie pie.” My voice is flirty and slowly becoming full of love.
Ava teases me by dragging her hands down by the hem of her tank top and slowly dragging it up over her body, exposing her abdomen and then the bottom of her breasts until she finally pulls it over the top of her head. Her tits have to be the best part about this woman. Her nipples are already budded and eager for attention.
I shimmy out of my pants and then I lay on top of her until our bodies fit perfectly together. I know if I take time to devour each part of her that I will definitely never even show up for work today because with her I have no will or self-discipline. I’m always all in.
Our mouths connect again and her little hips buck up underneath me, telling me exactly what she wants. The head of my cock pushes into her entrance and I lose it. I sink balls deep into her and freeze, relishing the moment. Her walls clench down around me, causing me to squeeze my eyes shut.
Ava taps on my shoulder and then tries to roll her hips back on me. I look down at her, connecting with her shining eyes.
“Roll me over, Zane.” Her words come out demanding and there’s no doubt left of what she wants.
Slowly, I roll her over and until she’s on top of me with her palms planted on either side of my head and her inner thighs clutched around my hips. We never lose connection when I roll over and Ava sinks deeper than ever before. The sensation is all too great for Ava as she closes her eyes and digs her fingernails into the blankets on my bed. It takes a few moments before she begins to slowly roll her hips and it’s a torturous process.
I fight for an ounce of self-control, but in a matter of moments my fingers dig into either side of her hips and I begin guiding her movements. Ava is unable to hide the feelings coursing through her veins. The look on her face is overwhelming and powerful in the moment as she moans and moans, riding my cock.
I need more of her, I need more and it seems like I’m never going to be able to have more of her. I begin pounding into her from the bottom. Our connection is undeniable and the rhythm of our bodies meeting is perfect.
I feel her walls tighten around me I know she’s close and by God I have no self-control right now and I’m just as close as she is. My teeth sink down into my bottom lip trying to hold on long enough for her to have her orgasm. But it’s all too much as I feel it coming, rushing to the top of my head and I bite down harder on my lip and try to force it away.
In a few moments, Ava is singing out my name, riding my cock at a rapid pace and not worrying about who was listening to her. Then she crumbles, falls apart as every single muscle in her body loosens as her orgasm hits her hard and I follow her. It’s a sensation that overwhelms me and is addicting. I will never be able to live without her. It’s a thought that fucking frightens me.
Ava collapses down on my chest; with my softening cock still deep inside of her, she throws her hair to the side and nuzzles into my neck.
“I think you better get to work, Mister.” She taps the tip of my nose and runs kisses up my jaw line.
“I don’t want to,” I groan out loud.
Work is the last fucking place I want to be right now. I should never have started this with Ava this morning because I just want more, more, more, more.
“I don’t want to go to work, baby. It looks like I have enough work here in my bed with you.”
“Let’s see, if you’re a good boy and go to work today, then maybe I’ll give you a treat later tonight.”
Ava sits back up, flexes her hips back and forth a couple times until she has me rock fucking hard again and ready to go for around two. And the little shit damn well knows what she’s doing to me as she lets out a couple soft moans, riding my hard cock. My eyes drift closed and I let everything go just thinking about us together, connected forever. I enjoy the sensation of her riding me and the music that floats around my room; it has to be my favorite song. It’s Ava moaning my name.
15
Ava
“You what?”
I feel all of their stares bore into my skin.
“I’m going to stay with Zane’s grandpa after the home nurse is done.”
Darby’s face holds the most questions and I know that I’m going to hear from her next.
“So you are telling me that after next week you will be basically babysitting Zane’s grandpa?”
I shrug my shoulders in their direction knowing that this conversation is going about as well as it did with Zane. The girls have no idea how much I want to do this and it’s not because of Zane, it’s because I want to. The man is dying and doesn’t even have the right to have a nurse at his side taking care of him. Zane works day in and day out and needs help. To me there is no question of doing it or not.
“I’m going to be there. I’m going to do it girls, whether you like it or not. I’ll get lots of writing in and I’ll also be helping Grandpa while he is dying.”
“What about us?” Chloe asks.
“You guys can come over anytime you want and we will have time in the evenings to do things.”
Darby hops off of the bed in one quick leap. “You are in love, Ava. I can see it in your eyes and on the glow of your skin that you are in love. Not just any love, but something more. Like head over heels in love. Zane had better not break your heart. I’ll crush his balls in the palms of my hands.”
Chloe joins, giving her two cents about how I’m wasting my summer and the fact I came here this summer to be with my girls. A part of me tuned them out and the other part halfway listened, but they’ve all fallen in love, they’ve all been there and they know the feeling. Also, I am pretty sure Chloe is the last person to have any say in this; we are her bitches here this summer helping her prepare for the wedding of her lifetime. We only have two more short months before all of our parents and all of the our hometown people arrive, expecting to come face to face with groomed daughters from prestigious families.
Just the mere thought turns my stomach, nearly making me physically ill. It’s the last thought I want to mull over while being waist deep in a summer love romance with the promise of so much more. I listen long enough to my best friends before laying down the law.
“I’m going to do it whether you approve or not. Zane’s pissed about it, but I don’t care. It’s in my nature to take care of him and give and that’s what I’m going to do. Zane is going to talk to Rhett’s mom and a few of his grandpa’s friends to see if they can help out as well.”
Chloe sits a little taller on the bed and looks me straight in the eye.
“I think this is pretty shitty of you, Ava. I mean, you’re just going to ditch us all summer because of this?”
“Are you even listening to yourself, Chloe?” I mirror her image and stiffen my spine, growing more pissed off in this moment. How dare she judge my actions? It’s not like I’m offering to sell my body on the corner all summer for Zane. I’m offering to help out where help is needed and I sure in the hell would hope that my two best friends would do the same thing if they were in my shoes.
But judging from their reactions, I’m starting to second-guess myself about the integrity of my friends. Maybe they’re no better than the small-minded people back in our community. Just worried about their next good time, being rich girls living off of their parents’ money.
“I’m going to do it and I’m also going to be here for the two of you. I’d appreciate it if you could respect my decision. It’s not like I’m skipping out on you all summer to go enjoy some luxurious spa. I’m helping a family in need.”
Darby’s voice rises to a high pitch and she’s yelling at me right now. “Would you be doing this for any family or just a family that you are boning a member of and all of a sudden have fallen in love with?”
I push myself off my bed even though I’m in my bedroom standing near my bed and in my summerhouse, I decide to be the bigger person in this moment.
“I don’t need your approval, but I thought I would tell you. I’m going for a jog and I’ll be back in thirty minutes. Or do I need your fucking approval to do that also?”
I don’t wait for their answer before I rush off to my bathroom; with each step I grow more disgusted with my friends, slam the door and then flop down on the closed toilet. I cannot believe my friends reacted that way and it’s just a little sliver of their brattiness and entitlement shining through.
We’ve always been different than the rest, but in this moment I’m not sure who they are. I’ve stood by them for four years of college, holding Darby’s hand through an abortion, letting Chloe cry rivers of tears on my shoulder trying to find her way. The common thread was the three of us standing together.
I lean over, banging my forehead on my knees a couple of times and then clutch onto my hair and wonder where the humanity has vanished to. I don’t care if this is for Zane, some random lady in the grocery store, or for Satan. If it’s the right thing then it’s the damn right thing. I bang my head a couple more times wondering why in the hell I’ve had to justify myself to Zane and my best friends for a random act of kindness.
After several more moments of silence float by in the bathroom, I finally raise my head and look for some yoga pants and a tank top, throw them on and head outside. I walk through the house with my Beats securely over my ears and my tennis shoes pounding against the cold tile floor. Quite ironic after dealing with my two best friends and their cold hearts.
Chloe and Darby could’ve been yelling and screaming my name, but I wouldn’t hear them over the blaring music and the words Eminem shouts in my eardrums.
As soon as the fresh air hits my face and the sun warms the tip of my nose up a bit, I feel free. I begin jogging at a slow pace, trying to find my rhythm and steadying my breathing before I really let go and let my legs find their long perfect strides.
It’s just like when I was a little girl and the one thing I could do that my parents approved of because if I ran that meant that Ava would stay skinny, fit and in shape. Perfect for the headlines and also perfect in the Christmas family pictures sent out all around the world.
But it became more than that for me. It was like spending time down in the stables with my horse, Lola. Those two things are the only things I ever felt that I had complete control over.
I lose track of the songs that beat out through my Beats and the miles that race by me. I keep jogging and jogging. Before I know it, I’m in a full out sprint with my heart pounding against my chest and sweat pouring off my forehead, but I don’t stop. I push my body harder and harder until it finally reaches the limit and I collapse down onto the running trail.
The black asphalt burns the palms of my hands as they push down on it and I try to catch my breath and fight for some sense of survival. It doesn’t help that I pushed my body to its breaking limits and now I can barely catch a breath as I heave on the asphalt. Moments drift by, images flow through my head of who I should be or what I should be doing. What my friends want me to be. What Zane thinks I am.
And of course who my parents want me to be. They want me to be Bradley McCall’s wife. They want me as a statue on his arm as he fights his way up the Tennessee Senate as a rookie. He has the name, he has the looks and most of all he has the drive to be number one. I told my parents before coming out here to the summer house, that there was no way in hell I was marrying a stranger or even becoming part of an arranged marriage.
I’ll never forget the angry tone of my father’s voice when he told me that all of my money is gone. My inheritance or any help from them is now no longer available. And the threatening voice as he told me that they would tell everyone I was abroad studying in Europe or becoming one of the new, top journalists in Germany. He made sure to let me know I’d no longer be family.
Those thoughts cause my breathing to pick up in a rapid pace and not cool down. I close my eyes and force the tender skin of my palms down into the asphalt again. I feel the burning sensation heat up and the little stones begin to prick my sensitive skin. I force myself to calm down. I fight for that image in my head that will help ease my wracking breathing.
Several black scenes drift through my vision until blue eyes strike me out of nowhere. Tender blue eyes, a soft touch, his deep voice whispering in my ear and then that does the trick. It’s Zane. This brings me down from my panic and calms me when he’s not even there.
“Ava?”
>
I peer up into the sun blinding me and make out the silhouette of a body. It takes my hand shading my eyes and my eyes blinking a couple times before I realize who it is. It’s Oliver with his hands tucked into his pockets and his blond hair drifting in the wind.
“Ava, are you okay? I was driving by and saw you collapse, so I wanted to see if everything was all right.”
It takes a few minutes to respond to him and then I remember the altercation he had with Zane at work and the only thing that happens is a parade of questions assaulting me.
“Ava are you okay?” Oliver takes three more steps towards me closing the distance.
“Do you need help? Do you need me a call an ambulance?”
“I’m fine.” It takes me several minutes to get those two words out between my ragged breathing and stirring what the hell happened between him and Zane.
“Well, you don’t look fine.”
I’m not sure how to even answer his question without being an asshole or prying into his background. So, I try to stand up and brush off his question.
“I just pushed myself too hard, no worries. I can walk back home.”
Oliver takes a few more steps towards me before there is no air left between our bodies.
“I’m still baffled a man like Zane snagged you.”
I tilt my head to look up to him and meet his pretty boy face.
“What do you mean, Oliver?” It’s not until the action is over that I realize he brushed hair away from my face and ran his palm down the side of my cheek.
“I mean, he got a perfect girl like you with his background.”
I shrugged my shoulders and realize he’s talking about Zane’s stripper ways.
“Well, we all have our own skeletons in the closet and Zane and I are taking everything step by step.”
“I understand getting past his stripper days and whatever, but the rest of it I can’t believe you were able to forgive and forget.”