"Bye, Grandma."
"But dear! Do you even know what you're doing?"
"We'll figure it out."
"Beth, really, be reasonable! This old bird has been around for ages! Trust me, I know the sex."
"I'm hanging up now."
"Oh well, I'll send some photos just in case you get confused about which parts go where. Hell, the first time I was in a bedroom I—"
Beth
Chuckling, I hung up the phone and shook my head. "So, that was Grandma." I laughed. "She said the coast was clear." I wasn't about to tell him about the advice she'd given me or the pictures that were going to traumatize my cell phone for life. Talk of Grandma had a way of making my husband less godlike.
Jace yawned and stretched out next to me, completely naked. Thank Thor.
"And?"
"She said that if you ever get elected president, she wants to make some guy named Gus your… vice-president?"
"Tell her I'll think about it." He smirked. "And what the hell does she mean if I get elected?"
"Aww..." I patted his firm stomach, "I'm sure she was teasing."
"Damn straight. I have to be president, if only for the purpose of making Brett's life a living hell."
"Let it go, babe."
"Nobody messes with my wife."
"I like the sound of that."
"Babe?"
"No."
"Wife?"
"That one." I sighed happily and patted his chest. "I think I'm ready now."
"Are you sure?" Jace's eyebrows drew together in concern. "I mean, it's normal to take a break, Beth. Really, I'll understand."
"Nope. It's time."
"Fine." He held up his hands in surrender.
"Cookie me."
Jace pulled a chocolate chip cookie from the box and placed it in my mouth. "Your wish is my demand. Damn, you have a nice mouth."
"You should know." I blushed.
"Yes, I should."
A piece of hair fell across my face. He brushed it away and chuckled.
"What? Do I have cookie on my face?"
"No. It's not that."
"What is it?"
"Can I pull your hair?"
"Will you wear that Thor costume you brought while pulling it?"
"Only as long as you wear the She-Ra one and pretend to drown while I save you and your cookies."
"Deal."
Epilogue
Five years later
"Damn it, Grandma! We said no ponies!" Jake looked about five seconds away from losing his mind.
Travis chuckled and took a swig of eggnog, not caring that his house was getting blown to shreds by four small children or that Grandma had, in fact, bought each child a pony. Two for Jake's twins, one for Travis's little girl, and one for Jace's little boy.
Grandma had said every child needed a pet.
Travis had been thinking more along the lines of a turtle or something. Not a horse. But arguing with Grandma was ridiculous — she'd always win. And he was done fighting; he was too exhausted after staying up with their two year old last night when she'd had a nightmare. To be fair, the nightmare had been Grandma's fault anyway. She'd let Arabella eat her weight in cookies, and sugar had a way of making her have bad dreams.
"How about I tell everyone a story!" Grandma shouted.
Travis winced.
Kacey gathered all the kids around in a circle, though it looked more like a corralling of adrenaline junkies. Sasha was pulling Taryn's hair, Arabelle was yelling fornicate — a word Grandma had mistakenly used a few minutes previous, and little George was eating popcorn off the tree.
"Come on, kids." Jace took pity on Kacey and helped her round them up while Grandma grabbed a storybook.
"Now." Grandma smiled, she was nearing ninety-two but still looked beautiful. "I'm going to tell you each a story. A special story about your mommies and daddies. You see, they weren't always married, a long time ago, in a land far, far away—"
"Portland." Travis coughed, earning a glare.
"In a magical land," Grandma's eyes narrowed, "there was this beautiful grandma who decided that her grandsons needed a bit of help. So she did what any grandmother would do. She created special stories for each one of them, even taking pity on Uncle Jace when he was sad."
"Why was he sad?" the eldest twin asked.
"Yes, why was he sad?" Beth said in an amused voice.
"That's easy." Jace smirked. "Aunt Beth ate all my cookies."
"Not the only thing she—"
"Grandma!" everyone shouted.
"Anyway, where was I?" She beamed. "Sometimes children, magic does exist. Love is just like magic. It takes special care to discover, but once you have it in the palm of your hand, it spreads throughout your heart and soul. When you find love, you have to hold on to it. You have to promise to never let it go."
The eldest raised her hand again.
"Yes, Sasha?"
"Grandma, what if we miss our magic? What if we don't get it on time? What if it passes us by and we don't notice! Grandma, what do we do when we can't find it?"
"Well, dear," Grandma patted her head, "that's easy. Grandma already knows where your magic is." She poked Sasha in the chest. "It's right here, and if all else fails, I'll always be around right there, watching, waiting, and helping you every step of the way."
"Promise you'll never leave?" She sniffled.
"Promise." Grandma winked. "And grandmas never lie. Besides," her sharp gaze snapped up to Travis, Jake, Kacey, Char, Beth, and Jace, "it seems my work here isn't quite done yet.
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