“Lorelei. Talk to me. Tell me what’s really going on. I just…this can’t be it. I can’t have read our relationship this wrong.” He reached for her chin, cupping it in his hand. “Please, let’s just talk this out.”
Lorelei shook him off and backed away from him. She wrapped her arms around her middle. “I’m sorry. This is incredibly awkward for me and I really wanted to avoid a scene.”
A scene? That’s what she was worried about? He was dying inside at the idea of Lorelei not wanting him. And Lorelei was standing in front of him as cool as a cucumber, barely breaking a sweat. It was as if ice water was running through her veins.
He shook his head in utter disbelief. How could he have not seen this coming?
“Daniel, I really have to get some sleep. I have an early morning on set.” She didn’t meet his gaze directly but looked down at the floor. She couldn’t even bother to look him in the eye.
Hurt seared through him. He wasn’t even sure how he was still standing. “Okay. I’m sorry to have bothered you. No matter how you feel, Lorelei, these past few weeks have been the best days of my life. I’ll never forget them. Or you.” Before he broke down in front of Lorelei, Daniel made a quick exit from her house.
Once she could no longer see him, Daniel allowed his shoulders sag. He was in a daze as he got behind the wheel and revved his car. Hot tears burned his eyes as he left her property. Daniel drove on auto-pilot as his mind whirled around and around, reliving the conversation with Lorelei. She’d dumped him like a hot potato without any warning or real reason. Or at least it didn’t seem like a legitimate reason to Daniel. A feeling of unworthiness crept through him. Once again he was alone. Unwanted. Unloved. He let out a ragged sigh. This was it for him. He didn’t think he would ever put his heart on the line again because he hadn’t seen this coming. It was too devastating. Too heart wrenching.
The only thing he could do was accept Lorelei’s wishes. She didn’t want him. She had ripped his heart out without even flinching. He didn’t bother wiping away the tears flowing down his face. He wasn’t ashamed of crying. He loved Lorelei with all his heart and soul. And it was a crushing realization to discover she didn’t feel the same way about him, and in all likelihood, never would.
**
The morning after. For the first time in her life, Lorelei felt too sick to report on set for a shoot. She was supposed to be shooting a commercial for a cold cream product with a best-selling health and beauty brand. When she woke up, it felt as if someone had run her over with a semi-truck. She had called Olga and told her she was too ill to report to set. Olga knew Lorelei well enough to sense that something was seriously wrong and she didn’t press her for details. She told Lorelei not to worry about it and that she would handle it with the client.
All Lorelei could think about was Daniel. If she pinched herself would she wake up from this nightmare? Could she turn back the clock and take back her decision to break up with Daniel?
In the cold light of day did it even make sense? Had she simply torpedoed her relationship with Daniel because she didn’t think she deserved him? Or had she allowed the shadow of James Ellis to completely ruin things? It was all so confusing.
Lorelei had resigned herself to the fact that Ellis would be released from prison soon since she wouldn’t be making an appearance at his parole hearing. In light of that fact, the prosecutor told her since Ellis had exhibited exemplary behavior in prison he was a good candidate for release. An in-person impact statement from her could totally change things. But Lorelei couldn’t do it. She couldn’t be in the same room with that monster! Just the thought of him caused panic and fear to skitter through her. One look into the depths of his black eyes would be impossible to erase from her mind.
She felt like a coward. Not just for being unable to face James Ellis but for breaking Daniel’s heart. And her own. She pressed her eyes closed as memories of his shattered expression flittered through her mind. He had been so broken up. She had seen it in the depths of his eyes. She’d heard it in the brokenness of his voice. Maybe in the end it was better this way, she thought. At least this way he would be safe from harm. She wouldn’t have to worry about him being stalked or threatened. Or worse. And she knew anything was possible given Ellis’s past actions. He was a monster!
Now she was second guessing herself about breaking up with Daniel, but it was too late for regrets. She couldn’t change what she’d done.
Lord, please help me. I did what I thought was right but now it seems as if it was wrong. So very wrong. I love him and I want to be with him more than anything in the world.
But part of loving someone was protecting them. James Ellis was a monster who could unleash hell on Daniel and the entire Donahue family. He terrified Lorelei.
But it also terrified her to lose Daniel. He was the other half of her heart and she truly couldn’t imagine her life without him.
**
Daniel felt completely adrift. It was amazing to think back on how he had felt after being broken up with by Patsy. He’d felt only a sliver of pain compared to this. Being dumped by Lorelei had hit him like a sledgehammer. It felt as if she had plunged a knife in his gut.
He couldn’t eat or sleep or keep a single thought in his head. At times he wasn’t sure what day it was or whether it was morning or night. His heart was more than broken. It was shattered into small, unfixable pieces. He knew without a shadow of a doubt that Lorelei was the other half of his heart. She was the woman of his dreams. He would love and cherish her as no other man could. And yet, she didn’t love him back. Evidently she didn’t think it was possible to love him since she hadn’t been willing to give their relationship a fighting chance.
The doorbell had been ringing incessantly, giving Daniel no other choice but to trudge downstairs and peek out of the peek hole to see who was driving him crazy. With a groan, he swung the door open to reveal his mother standing on his doorstep.
Penelope Donahue was dressed in a light pink matching track suit with the words Pelican Bay Pride stitched on the chest. She immediately launched herself at Daniel’s chest and held on to him tightly. Daniel could tell from her red-rimmed eyes that she’d been crying.
“Hey, Mom. Why don’t you come in so we don’t have to hug it out on my doorstep?”
Penelope released him and walked inside, immediately turning toward him with a critical eye. She looked him up and down, making tutting noises. “Daniel. When was the last time you’ve eaten or showered? It looks like you’re growing a beard and you’re disheveled.” She wrinkled her nose. “Did you sleep in those clothes?”
Daniel scratched his jaw. “Which question should I answer first? No, I haven’t eaten today and yes I haven’t shaven so I have a five o’clock shadow. Yes, I slept in these clothes. They’re pretty comfy. And no, I haven’t showered yet.”
Penelope shook her head. She looked as if she might burst into tears again at any moment.
He might just beat her to the punch. There was something special about the relationship he shared with his mother. Because of all of his issues when he was a kid, they had bonded over countless cups of hot chocolate and sugar cookies and video games. She had spent more time one on one with him than his other siblings in order to fill the void of Daniel not having any friends at school. He had cried on her shoulder more times than he could count. Although he loved his father very much, his mother had always been his moon and stars.
“So I guess Nash told you about me and Lorelei.”
“He did. He’s very worried about you. We all are. And we’ve all been calling you. Over and over again. The calls have just been going to your voicemail.”
“I really didn’t want to talk to anyone, Mom. It’s been hard. I needed time to get my head straight.” He let out a deeply held breath. “I really thought she was the one, Mom. And after this, I honestly can’t imagine ever feeling this way about a woman ever again.”
“Daniel. Please don’t give up on love. It’s coming for you. I just kn
ow it.”
Hot tears washed down his face. He didn’t even bother to wipe them away. His mother knew his soul like no other. There was no use hiding his pain from her. She’d always been able to see straight through him, right down to his very core. His pain felt like it might kill him. It was an agonizing sensation.
“I love her, mom. I can’t imagine not being with her. When I look at her, I can see my whole future right there in her eyes.”
“Oh, Daniel,” Penelope said, wrapping her arms tightly around him. “I see how much you’re hurting. If it were possible, I’d take away every ounce of your hurt and absorb it myself.”
“I know you would Mom.”
“But I don’t want you to let this experience make you jaded. You’ve grown so much over the last few months. You’re more open and I see you enjoying life as a whole now rather than just focusing on your business. That’s a beautiful thing.”
“I just have to suck it up. Our family has a special day coming up. Faith and Micah’s wedding is going to be amazing. There’s no way I’m going to ruin their wonderful day by walking around like a sad sack.”
“You’re incredible, Daniel. The best brother in the world.” She dabbed at her eyes. “I-I know Lorelei was invited. How will it be to see her there?”
“She won’t come. She made it pretty clear it’s over between us and I doubt she’ll want to see me any time soon.”
Penelope’s mouth hardened. “I really liked Lorelei, but I can’t hide my feelings as your mother. To treat you this way is criminal.” She burst into tears. “Y-you’re an amazing catch and an incredible man.”
Daniel patted his mother on the shoulder and leaned in to kiss her on the cheek. “Please don’t cry on my account. You know I can’t stand to see you cry.”
Penelope sniffed. “That’s how I feel. Whenever one of my little chicks is in pain it makes me feel as if someone is stabbing me in the stomach. It’s unbearable.”
“I’m going to be fine, Mom,” Daniel said, locking eyes with Penelope. “I know I’m worthy of love. I used to doubt it, but strangely enough, Lorelei showed me that I deserve the happy ending. It just won’t be with her. And that hurts.”
She reached out and stroked his cheek. “My sweet Daniel. Any woman who can’t see how wonderful you are is either a blind fool or not worthy of your love.”
Daniel chuckled. “Easy there, Mom. Lorelei is a great person. I can’t make her a villain for not falling in love with me or wanting to share a life with me. At the end of the day, we all have a right to choose who we love.”
“Well I can make her a villain. I’m your Mom.” Penelope was still making sniffling noises.
He reached out and tipped up her chin. Her eyes were red-rimmed and tear-stained. “Are you all right? You seem to be in worse shape than I am.”
They both began to chuckle at the same time. Daniel needed this laugh. It made him realize that he needed to get out of this funk. Life was out there and he needed to get back into the business of living. Wallowing served no purpose.
“This too shall pass,” Penelope murmured as she leaned her head against Daniel’s chest. Daniel lovingly patted his mother on the back and reflected on how fortunate he was to have such a devoted family. They cared so deeply about his happiness. No matter what happened, they always had his back!
Although he still yearned for a family of his own, he realized it might not be in the cards for him. It was hard to imagine putting himself out there after this crushing blow. He loved Lorelei. Madly. Deeply. Truly. With everything he had in him—his very heart and soul. It was almost impossible to imagine he would ever feel this way about a woman again. Did life really bring love like this a second time in one’s lifetime?
Daniel didn’t think so.
When the doorbell rang, Daniel looked at his mother. He hadn’t been expecting anybody to stop by. He had only told his parents and Nash about the breakup, but he knew how his family operated. When one member fell down they were all there to lift that person up. The news had probably spread like wildfire.
“Please don’t tell me it’s another Donahue with a hankie for me to cry into,” Daniel quipped, sending his mother a pointed look.
She held up her hands. “Don’t ask me. I didn’t arrange for anyone to come over here, so go see for yourself.”
Before he could get up, Micah came walking into his kitchen dressed in a pair of cargo shorts and a sleeveless shirt. He had a rather subdued expression etched on his face. Daniel knew without asking that his younger brother had heard about his breakup with Lorelei. It was written all over his face.
“The front door was unlocked so I let myself in,” Micah said. “I’m so sorry about you and Lorelei. I just swung by to check on you.” Micah leaned in for a hug, then walked over and kissed his mother on the cheek before sitting down on one of the kitchen stools.
“Thanks,” Daniel said. “Bad news spreads quickly, I guess,” he muttered.
“C’mon. We’re not spreading it anywhere,” Micah answered. “Just amongst the family. Everyone wants to support you, Daniel. That’s all.”
“That’s what I told him,” Penelope chimed in. “We love you, Daniel.”
“I know, Mom. Really I do,” Daniel said, as a feeling of immense love swept through him. How one earth had he gotten so lucky as to have such a supportive family?
Thank you, God. No matter how badly I feel right now it’s a wonderful feeling to know my family has my back. I might want to sit around and lick my wounds but they’re not going to let me do it alone.
“Mom has been giving me a pep talk,” Daniel explained to Micah. The two brothers shared a gaze full of mirth. They both knew Penelope was a cheerleader and she never failed to lift up her children when they were down.
“Sounds like her,” Micah said with a grin.
“On that note,” Penelope said, “I’m going back to the diner.” She stood up and placed kisses on the temples of both of her sons. “I love you both. To the moon and back.”
“Ditto,” Micah and Daniel said in unison. It was something they had been saying all of their lives.
Once Penelope had left, Micah began tapping his fingers on the marble counter. Daniel knew he wanted to get something off his chest, no doubt about his breakup with Lorelei.
“To be honest, I kind of doubted in the beginning that the two of you would mesh, but seeing you together proved me wrong. You were great together.”
“Well, clearly Lorelei didn’t agree with that sentiment. She dumped me like a sack of old potatoes.” Daniel felt a pain in his chest as he spoke. It still hurt and he couldn’t imagine a time when it wouldn’t hurt like crazy. How could he have been so wrong about her? Was he that clueless? Maybe he didn’t know the first thing about love—true, enduring love.
Micah grimaced. “It’s really strange. She talked about you in such glowing terms. Just ask Faith. She said the same thing. I would have sworn she was in love with you.”
Daniel’s heart contracted. It was too painful to hear Micah talk about Lorelei’s supposed feelings for him. None of it had been real.
Daniel held his hand up. “No offense, but this is kind of like rubbing salt in a wound. I really don’t want to talk about her. I’ll be honest, bro. It hurts too much.”
“Okay. Sorry. I’m just a little worried about her with the hearing coming up.”
Daniel frowned. “Hearing? What are you talking about?”
Micah looked at him with a strange expression etched on his face. “The parole hearing for James Ellis, the man who is in jail for stalking her. He might be getting out of prison soon.”
For a moment Daniel felt as if the universe itself had flipped upside down. He gritted his teeth. Suddenly, things began to fall into place. Lorelei’s panic attacks. Her looking over her shoulder at the marina. The fear she’d exhibited in public surroundings. The sudden bursts of nervousness.
“Didn’t she tell you? I thought--.” Micah stopped talking and looked at Daniel with regret.
“I shouldn’t have said anything. I thought you knew. It’s a matter of public record.”
Daniel hadn’t known about the upcoming parole hearing. Lorelei had told him about being victimized by James Ellis and about his lengthy prison sentence. But she hadn’t told him that Ellis might be released from prison soon and that a hearing was going to be held to determine his fate.
Why hadn’t she told him? He would have made her feel safe. He would have done anything to shield her from pain. Didn’t she know that? Couldn’t she see how much he adored her?
“No, she never said a word about the hearing, but she did tell me about her stalker. I want to know everything, Micah. Please. Tell me everything you know about James Ellis and this parole hearing.”
As Micah began to speak, Daniel’s heart was beating a fast rhythm within his chest. He wasn’t certain, but he had a funny feeling that he now knew why Lorelei had abruptly broken things off with him. Perhaps he was just trying to protect his heart from the knowledge that Lorelei didn’t see a future with him, but for the first time in a long time, hope began to swell in his heart.
**
Lorelei had thought that walking the beach might help her frame of mind. But rather than soothe her it only served to remind her of Daniel. How many times had they walked hand in hand on this very stretch of beach? The ache in her soul refused to abate. She was learning a tough lesson about loving someone. People always said being in love was such a glorious state of being, but it also came with heartache and pain. In order to protect Daniel, Lorelei had been forced to push him out of her life. In the process she had caused them both immeasurable pain. She still didn’t know if she’d done the right thing.
Bethany had read her the riot act. “Why did you have to break up with him? Surely there was another way?”
She had shaken her head, knowing Bethany couldn’t fully understand her fear and paranoia. Although she loved her to bits, Bethany hadn’t been through what Lorelei had endured. It had forever altered the course of her life. She still lived with the mental scars.
Forever and a Day (Seven Brides Seven Brothers Pelican Bay Book 5) Page 12