Who Do You Love?: Trapped in Love with a Thug

by Tatyana Jhane'

  “Or what, baby? Finish what you were saying, it’s okay, baby. Stop crying,” he said as he held me super tight. I guess he forgot that I was pregnant because his ass was damn sure squeezing the life out of me and the baby right now. I was small for 7 months but that was because I just found out.

  “You are squishing him, baby,” I said and he quickly loosened his grip then nodded at me to finish what I was saying. “What if he is DeShon’s baby? I mean, we did have sex 7 months ago as well,” I finally said to him.

  I turned to look him in the eyes so that I could see his real reaction. He didn’t look mad but he didn’t look happy either.

  “I know that if it’s his I can’t force you to be comfortable with that and I don’t want you to think that you have to stay with me and raise someone else’s child as your own. You can leave me and yes, I would be hurt, but I would understand, baby,” I continued, and he still didn’t say anything.

  He kissed me on the lips then got out the bed and went to his drawer. I sat up in bed watching him. I hoped like hell that he didn’t leave right now. Shit, at least he could wait until the baby was born. I needed him. He finally found what it was that he was looking for which was his lighter. He lit his blunt then walked out onto the balcony.

  I knew to leave him alone at times like this because I knew that he was in deep thought and needed to be alone before he finally spoke on whatever it is that is bothering him at this point. I just hope he spoke soon.

  After the first blunt, he sparked another one and then another one. I was starting to worry; he never smoked back to back like this. At the most, he would smoke two back to back but not this much. Tears started rolling down my eyes again; I just knew that this man was going to leave me. Lord, why did this have to happen to me?

  At least I told him though. I could’ve let this go with me to my grave and if worst case scenario came true and DeShon was the father, he would never know. I couldn’t do that to my baby though, and I wasn’t one of these trifling bitches out here.

  Finally, Ace came back into the room. He stripped naked and went to take a shower. I wanted to go in with him but I was scared that he didn’t want to be near me just yet, so I just sat there still watching him. He brushed his teeth and then came back in the bed. I looked at him and he just kissed me and pulled my back to him, and after five minutes of silence, I started to hear him snore lightly.

  “What the fuck?” I said to myself before I said a silent prayer that everything would work out. I slowly drifted off to sleep only to wake up to an empty bed.

  Chapter 17

  Ace

  That shit yesterday really threw me for a loop because I hadn’t even thought about all of that when she told me what the doctor said, even though Brandon had already brought it to my attention. I was just really happy that my baby was having a baby. Then I ain’t gonna lie to y’all, she really pissed me the fuck off when she said that stupid shit about me leaving her. I wasn’t going nowhere; even if the worst happened and the baby turned out not to be mine.

  I just had to go and get some fresh air from the shit that I was thinking and I needed a blunt to help clear my mind. Then before you know it, one blunt turned into three blunts. I felt T staring a damn hole in my head but I couldn’t talk to her just yet. I was that deep in thought that I didn’t want to say anything bad. I’m glad that she knew how to give me my space.

  While thinking, I realized that technically I put her into this situation by coming on to her the way I did but shit, from the moment that I saw her pretty ass I knew that she would be mine. Now, at first I was prepared to wait for her nigga to fuck their relationship up even more, to the point where she just said fuck it and came running to me, but I couldn’t.

  I just couldn’t be mad at my baby, so that’s why after sitting and thinking, I just went and showered up to get back in the bed with her. Don’t get me wrong, I am feeling some type of way, but I know that in the long run everything is going to be okay. I honestly do feel like the baby is mine though, because I had been feeling the pregnancy symptoms and that’s why I went ahead and told her to take the test in the first place.

  To be honest, none of this shit matters anyways because at the end of the day, this nigga DeShon is a dead man walking so if the baby is his, then it’s not like he is going to be around to be a father to my son.

  I couldn’t keep thinking about this situation though, because we had shit to handle and first things first, I needed to hit up Brandon and see what he got going on and what he wants to do about this Tae situation, or Michael I should say.

  I don’t think that the nigga has any ill intentions though, because that shit between them was in high school and we all grown as fuck. If he’s still on that shit, then I guess we gone have to body that nigga and keep it pushing.

  I pulled out my phone to call Brandon but I heard the doorbell ring, so I headed there to see who it was. I laughed as I opened the door for this nigga Brandon; he beat me to the punch.

  “Where that bitch ass nigga at?” he said and pushed me out the way.

  “Damn nigga; is that how you greet a nigga early in the morning? Can I get a hello first?” I asked laughing at him.

  “Nah nigga, you know what time it is. Let’s get this over with and let me see what’s up with this nigga before we go any further,” he said just as Tae came walking downstairs with T waddling right behind him. It’s so funny to me that her belly just appeared right out of nowhere.

  “Y’all muthafuckers ain’t about to start fighting up in my house so I’ma stay down here just to make sure nothing happens,” Tanesha said, and I laughed because I knew that she just wanted to be nosy and see what was going on. She wasn’t fooling anybody.

  “Aight my nigga, let me start by saying this. I didn’t know that this was the Tanesha that y’all was talking about this whole time which means that I didn’t know that you was with Mo. That shit was in high school and I ain’t worried about her. I did her wrong as fuck so I know she ain’t worried about me either,” Tae said and like I said, I believed him until he proved himself otherwise. I hope that Brandon could believe him as well.

  “Nigga, don’t let me find out otherwise,” was all that Brandon said before he walked out the house and drove off. I swear this nigga was really crazy at times.

  “Okay, well now that that’s settled, get ready so that we can get on the road,” I told Tae. We needed this shit to be over with so that we all could go on with our lives.

  I walked upstairs to get a bag together for the trip. I just hoped that it wouldn’t take that long because at this moment, T was 7 months pregnant and I wanted this handled before the baby came so that we could live a happy life together with hopefully no more interruptions.

  “So you just gone come back and then leave again, Marcus?” There she goes again with that government shit.

  “T, chill the fuck out, girl. We trying to get this shit handled before your ass have that damn baby. Now, once it’s handled we will be back. I will talk to you when I can and you know that so hush. Come here and give daddy some before I go,” I told her.

  “Fuck you, nigga,” she said and turned to walk away. But, I grabbed her from behind and whispered in her ear, “That’s what I’m trying to do now, baby.”

  I bent her over and we went at it for a good hour and a half and then I left my baby to go handle this nigga. I hope that everything went as smoothly as I thought it would.

  Mo

  To say I was shocked to see Michael, or Tae as they call him, was an understatement. I haven’t seen him in a few years. In all actuality, seeing him had me feeling some type of way. It’s like my feelings just came rushing back even after all this time.

  I couldn’t fuck with him like that though because of Brandon, and because he is a fucking liar and a cheater and I can’t deal with that. I love my man Brandon as well, and I would never hurt him the way that I was hurt. I know that I just have to stay away from him because I already know how he is. He may have Brandon an
d Ace fooled but with me, it’s a different story. I know the game that he plays very well.

  “Mo, come holla at me for a second,” Michael said as he walked into my store. So much for staying away from him, I thought to myself. I was too tired to deal with any bullshit because I was running both Tanesha’s and my store until after she had baby Kaleb, so I hope he was here for something important.

  “When did you even get back to Dallas?” I asked because I knew that they were in Houston looking for DeShon.

  “I came back just now because I had to discuss some things with you and it was clouding my judgment,” he said. All I could do was roll my eyes because I knew that some bullshit was about to come about of his damn mouth, and I just did not have the time for his lying, cheating ass.

  “Can we go somewhere and talk, please, Mo?” he asked, as I sat there staring at him. I nodded yes and led him to my office because I did not have time for us to be out in public and risk someone telling my man.

  “What do you want, nigga?” I said to him as we entered my office. There was no point in playing nice and sweet because that would just be stupid as fuck considering the fact that I was still hurting over what he did to me a few years ago.

  “Okay, I know you are hurt by what I did Mo, so I’m gonna let you slide with that one but please believe, you better watch how the fuck you talk to me, girl. You know I don’t play that silly shit,” he said to me and against my will, my panties got wet at the threat. That was one of the things that I always loved about him; he didn’t take my shit.

  “Okay, well what do you want, boy? You think I need to respect you because your hoe ass definitely didn’t respect me. So what?” I said, not backing down. I don’t care how he felt about the way that I was speaking to him. Hell, he didn’t care about how he did me.

  “I just wanted to apologize to you that’s why I came. I know that I hurt you deeply and you probably will never forgive me, but I need you to understand why I did what I did. A nigga was tired of getting blue balls, Mo. I tried to be strong but bitches just kept throwing themselves at me and you wasn’t giving it up. So one day after leaving with you turning me down again, I got mad. Kaleena just so happened to hit me up to chill and she started throwing herself at me. At first I tried to stop her, but I started thinking about you and I just gave in,” he said.

  I tried to keep my composure but this nigga really had me fucked up, and he was stuck on stupid if he thought that I was going to buy that.

  “Even if that story is true, I still don’t give a fuck, and I am not trying to hear that because you knew from the jump that I wasn’t going to have sex. If you knew that you couldn’t handle it, then you should’ve never got with me in the first place! You should’ve left me alone because now it’s me and not you with the broken heart,” I said and realized that tears were coming down my face. At that point I didn’t care though, because I felt like I had finally gotten that off my chest and it felt great.

  Michael got up and walked over to me and wiped my tears. I looked into his eyes and I saw the love that he still had for me, and it warmed my heart and made my panties wet again.

  “I never meant for that to happen, Mo, and I wish that you believed me. You’re right that I knew what I was getting myself into, but I’m not going to lie and say that it wasn’t hard. Think of how long I went before I messed up,” he said.

  “Yeah, it might’ve been a long time before you did mess up, but what hurt me the most is the blatant disrespect that you had for me! You came in my face with some damn hickeys on your neck, nigga! And you wore that bitch’s clothes in my damn face like I wouldn’t notice. What’s your excuse for that? I mean damn, you could’ve at least hid the shit!” I said back to him. No way was he going to get me to fold that quickly with his lame ass apology.

  “I don’t know what to say Mo, damn! I was young and dumb so I don’t know what you want from me!” he yelled like he had something to be mad about.

  “I don’t want anything from you! You came here not the other way around, so don’t get mad at me. And nigga, you act like I’m just not supposed to feel some type of way about what you did to me,” I said. Like, who does this nigga think he is coming here with that shit?

  “I’m not trying to act like that I just… I don’t know. I guess I’m just finally seeing how bad I hurt you right now and its making me feel some type of way,” he said.

  “Well yes, you did hurt me and even after all these years I still love you,” I said to him.

  Michael just looked at me with those intense ass eyes and I started to move back.

  Chapter 18

  Tanesha

  Ever since Michael came here, I just knew that it would be the beginning of the drama. I know that sometime soon, Jay would be popping up as well. I just hoped that things would go as smoothly as they went with Brandon and Michael. I also hope that Michael does not have any ulterior motives because I know that would cause so many problems and problems I do not need because this baby is about to drop.

  I know y’all are wondering who the hell is Jay, so I will go ahead and tell you. Jay is a fine specimen of a man. He is 6’3, chocolate, pretty smile, nice body I mean he is just the whole package minus the part of him breaking my heart.

  Jay and I go way back. He is my first love and I have never loved a man the way I loved him, not even Ace. I loved them in two different ways. My love for Jay is just natural; it’s something that I couldn’t stop no matter how hard that I tried. I always tried to push him to the back of my mind but no matter how hard I tried, he always came back. We literally could go months even years without talking, but when we did it was like nothing changed.

  Now, I don’t know how things will go if I do see him, especially since I am really in love with Ace. It’s hard because you never really let go of your first love.

  I decided to go lie down and take a nap because this baby is taking a toll on me. I’m tired all the time and always feeling lazy. Just as I laid down, a liquid rushed out of me. I looked down and realized that my water had just broken.

  “Oh shit!” I said as a contraction hit me. “This shit hurts so fucking bad, oh my God!”

  Baby, I’m in labor! Get here NOW

  Okay baby I’m on my way.

  After I texted Ace, I decided to call Mo so that she could take me to the hospital. I knew damn well that I couldn’t drive while getting these damn contractions. This shit really hurts. I’ll probably get in a wreck trying to drive while a contraction hit.

  I really wish that I would’ve found out I was pregnant way before when I did so that way I could’ve taken the proper classes on how I need to breathe and shit. I feel like death is quickly approaching right now. Call me dramatic but this shit is a near death experience. I braced myself for another contraction.

  “Oohhhhhhhh fuckkkkkkkkkk!” I screamed as I squeezed the stair railing.

  I quickly pulled out my phone to call Mo; I couldn’t take this shit much longer. I needed this baby out of me now!

  “Mo! You have to get over here now! My water just broke!” I yelled into the phone.

  “Oh my God! Something told me to come over to your house, T. I’m five minutes away,” she said.

  “Hurry up and get here! I can’t take this pain much longer. Oh shitttt.” I quickly hung up the phone as another contraction passed. The contractions were coming pretty fast with only a few minutes between them. We needed to hurry up before this baby came out of me now.

  Mo finally pulled up to the house after what felt like forever. I didn’t even give her time to get out the car because as soon as she pulled up, I started waddling my big ass to the passenger door. Mo rushed over to help me in but I didn’t need her help. I needed the doctor’s help pushing my baby boy out of my pussy!

  “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” I screamed as another contraction hit. “Lord, please let there be no traffic!”

  Mo was driving like crazy but I didn’t mind because that’s what I wanted her to do so that we could get there as fast
as humanly possible.

  Just when I felt like I couldn’t take anymore, we finally pulled up to the hospital. We pulled up at the same time as Ace, Brandon, and Tae. Once they saw Mo’s car, they rushed over to help me inside. Once the nurses saw me, they immediately got a wheelchair and brought it over to me.

  “I feel like I have to poop!” I yelled.

  “Oh my God, hurry up and get her doctor. She’s ready to push right now. The baby is coming,” the nurse said and that shit freaked me out because I was thinking damn, I could’ve had the baby at the house had I not called Mo when I did.

  “Do not push right now. Hold off as long as you can, please,” the nurse said to me snapping me out of my thoughts. Hell, she didn’t have to tell me twice because I was not pushing my baby boy into this world in a damn emergency room lobby. Fuck that.

  They wheeled me into the room and my doctor came right around the corner. I only let Mo and Ace stay in the room with me while I delivered my baby. The others were getting in contact with both Ace and my families so that they could come when Baby Kaleb was born.

  Ace and the doctor helped me on the bed so that I could start pushing.

  “Can I get an epidural now please, I can’t take this pain any longer,” I said to the doctor, basically begging. If I could I would get down on one knee and ask.

  “No, I’m sorry, but you are way past that point. It’s pushing time,” the doctor told me and boy was I mad as fuck, and so was my baby, Ace. He was way more serious than me.

  “What the fuck you mean my wife can’t get any drugs? So she gotta stay in all this pain? Hell nah, somebody better get my wife something or we are going to have a fucking problem!” Ace yelled. My baby did not play no games when it came to me or his son so I knew that it was about to be a problem.

  “Sir, please calm do—”

  “Ohhh shit!! I have to push; can I push now?” I interrupted them and Ace ran back to my side and held my hand. Fuck! I was in so much pain at the moment I know that he felt it, but I’m glad that my baby let me squeeze him.