by Cherry Kay
Flamenco… I came here for flamenco, but I ended up dancing something else, with someone else. Did he know how to dance? Terrence certainly didn’t; he had two left feet. She eyed her phone, willing it to ring.
It didn’t.
*
That argument had left him embarrassed to even attempt to text her. Every second he wasn’t with her meant that she was closer to going home. A month was too short to get to know someone. Dinner with his family had been almost uneventful, but he did enjoy the company he had, except for his father’s. The man was just so hard to please, criticizing his latest work, that restaurant he had promised to take Iesha to.
He had breathed a sigh of relief as soon as they bade their goodbyes at the door, with Isabella giving him a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. He shook hands with his brother-in-law, Miguel, and kissed his sister’s cheek as well.
“I heard you were dating someone,” Anita whispered to him quickly.
“How…” he stopped, shook his head and laughed. “Never mind. You two are like spies.”
“Doctors,” Anita corrected with a grin. “I hope to see this lady soon.”
The drive home helped him calm down, the cool sea breeze fluttering through his hair and on his exposed skin. It was crisp, almost like winter was going to rear its glory in a few days. He wondered what she did the entire day, wondered if she felt secretly miserable like he did. He certainly couldn’t tell his mother that that argument left him with a bitterness in his mouth, a bitterness that almost tasted like that first verbal disagreement between lovers—like that first fight between him and his first girlfriend. His mother said nothing to his father regarding all that he had told her, that he was dating an artist’s daughter, and that the Iesha lass was an artist herself.
Should I introduce her to mama and Anita? He didn’t want them to think that this was going to be forever, not while she was a tourist. Nothing was forever nowadays—the diamonds were a lie. He had played with the thought as he drove, thinking about it for over an hour and a half. This led him to the front of her building, and he parked across the road, the beach’s waves lulling behind him, the faint sound of party music playing somewhere along with drunken laughter, happy laughter. He looked up to her window, counting the number of floors. Her apartment lights were off.
It was early, not yet nine. Didn’t she have classes on Tuesdays, and not Mondays? Perhaps she had had a long day. Was she asleep? Was she out? He reached for his phone, staring at her name and number on the screen. He took a deep breath, ready to call her.
Before he could press on her name, he saw her walk up to the building, wearing jeans and a light coat. He quickly turned off his car and ran up to her.
“Iesha,” he called out.
He saw her freeze on the steps, and she slowly turned around to see who it was. He had a feeling she recognized his voice already. She was carrying a bag of groceries in her hand, initially looking confused. He walked up to her, unable to say anything at first.
“Are we just going to stand here?” she asked him, frowning a little. “What do you want?”
“To see you,” he quickly told her.
“You already have. Now, excuse me.”
“Iesha, I want to apologize,” he said, clearing his throat, “I wasn’t—”
“Please don’t do this. Not here in public. I hate public displays of affection or regret, or whatever you call this now.”
“If we can talk in your place,” he suggested.
She nodded, and they were quiet during the whole elevator ride. She wouldn’t even look at him. He wanted to talk, but figured he’d wait to get into her place, heeding her warning.
As soon as they got in, Iesha dumped her paper bag onto the kitchen counter, hanging the key to the apartment on a hook by the door. She spun around to face him, her hands on her hips.
“Alright,” she said, “what do you want to talk about?”
“First off, an apology is necessary.”
She held her hand up. “I was wrong, too. It wasn’t just you. Now, we’re both fair. You can go home and sleep in peace.”
“It’s not about being fair. When is it ever fair?”
“And your point is?” she asked him.
“I wasn’t nice to you yesterday. Stuff happened.”
“Stuff you couldn’t control?” she said sarcastically.
“Yes. Stuff beyond my control,” he said with a sigh, not wanting to remember Ana Paula while he was with Iesha.
“What happened? The truth,” she demanded from him.
The truth? They weren’t even together, but she asked it from him like they were exclusively dating. He could walk out of this apartment, never look back, and forget the stranger he had bumped into that sunny afternoon. She was no longer a stranger— no stranger could make him feel this way. She had crept her way into his heart, and she probably didn’t even know about it.
“I saw my ex-girlfriend two days ago, read her engagement announcement in the newspaper yesterday.”
“And that made you feel like crap?” her tone wasn’t friendly. There was no pity in that, he knew. He had made it seem like he was over her, but he was still affected all the same.
“I didn’t want to tell you, because then you’d feel bad.”
“Why? We aren’t together,” she told him. She sounded almost hurt… almost.
“We’re not, but maybe we can be together.”
“Not while it’s like this,” she shook her head. “You obviously haven’t gotten over her, whoever she is. Did you feel like you wanted to ruin her upcoming wedding?”
He shook his head.
“Good,” she breathed out, “don’t be that kind of person.”
There was a flash of pain in her eyes, and he knew that she recalled her own impending wedding, that failed wedding, that wedding that had probably been planned down to a T.
“Are we done?” she asked him. Clearly she wanted him to leave, still unable to forgive him.
“I don’t need you to forgive me right away, but I want to work on it. I want to work on us.”
She sighed, and shook her head. “It’s not as easy as you think. You’re not the only one with issues. If that was the first bout, I don’t want a second, or a third.”
“These are issues that can be resolved. I don’t know how much time it’ll take, but I’m willing to—”
“I don’t want to hear this,” she interrupted. “Willing to wait? Willing to try? We’re not in the position to do that. Come on, Alex. I’m not from here. I have to go back in less than a month, and we may or may not see each other again.”
“May is still hope,” Alex told her, his pulse quickening. “And you, you don’t have to go back.”
“What the hell are you saying?”
“I’m saying you can stay here.”
“Are you kidding me? I have a store, that’s my life’s work, my dream since I was a little girl.”
“We’ll find a way.”
“You’re crazy!”
“Only when I’m in love,” he replied.
She stopped in place. “You’re… you’re in love with me?” she looked suspicious, unsure if what he had said was a joke, some cruel ruse to get her to listen to him. She had every right to be wary of his intentions, even if he only wanted the best—only, she didn’t know that.
He nodded, knowing that his ears were feeling rather warm at this admittance. What else could he say? It was the truth, and it was something he had debated about. Love at first sight probably existed for the lucky few… did she feel the same though? He realized he was going to sound like a fool, a crazy ass person who didn’t think things through. He didn’t care. He did care that she would turn him away.
He took a deep breath, willing for her to say something else. He just nodded. That was it, a simple nod, that admittance. Two weeks into meeting her and he was in love. It was a heady feeling. He found himself looking at her eyes, into them. It was as if he was seeing some part of her he hadn’t notice
d. He had only seen her as emotional, fun to be with… now, now there was a depth to her that she had allowed him to finally see.
She wasn’t difficult to love at all.
*
He was in love with her? He loved her? She was stuck in place, unable to believe what he had said at first. He was looking at her intently, something he’d never done since she had met him. He only looked into her eyes briefly when they both got laid. It was no longer just plainly getting laid. It was making love. They had made love all that time… she was in love with him, too. Only she was afraid, afraid of the rejection, afraid that the feeling was temporary, like her stay was going to be.
He was asking her to stay longer. How? She had no ties here, she had no job here, she couldn’t earn here, not anytime soon. And there was the boutique… her parents. They expected her back just before Christmas. Alex was asking for too much.
She shook her head slowly. “I can’t.”
Keep your head away from the clouds, she told herself, trying to convince herself that this wasn’t worth it. How was it not worth it? She tried to rationalize. She tried to think like he did. He was a bit irrational now, though.
“Why?” his voice said.
“Because you’re temporary, like I’m temporary,” she uttered out.
“You aren’t temporary. We met each other that day because we’re supposed to be together, we’re supposed to stay together.”
“Stay together? Are you listening to yourself? We barely know each other. We’ve got issues we need to face—”
“Together,” he interrupted her. “We can face it together.”
“It isn’t easy.”
“Who said it’s easy? This is a leap of faith for me. I’ve never been this reckless, but so far, I’m liking it. I need it to be reckless, how else can I make you stay?”
“You sound desperate.”
“I am,” Alex admitted to her. “Believe me this took a lot of contemplating and a lot of self-talk.”
“You went crazy.”
“Almost. I think I’ll go nuts if I can’t see you.”
“You can always visit America.”
He shook his head. “You’re better off here. You can heal better here.”
“And you think I’m alright with the idea that you’re so close to that ex-girlfriend of yours? How can we both move on? This isn’t a baby step; this is a big step for me.”
“It is for me as well. I’ll do anything to make you stay, do anything to keep you here, close to me. I’ll talk to your parents if need be.”
“Don’t,” she warned him. “My career isn’t here, Alex.”
“But your life could be. Can you still run the store remotely?”
“I’m not a logistics company.”
“Stay here. Six months, that’s all I ask,” he told her. “Just six months.”
Six months? She was aghast. It was too long of a wait. What was she going to do here? How was she going to survive? She didn’t want him to spend for her, even if she knew he could afford it, even if she knew he wouldn’t complain about it at all. It dawned on her that Alex was magnanimous without being immodest.
“I can’t. My life, it’s not here. This is a risk—”
“I’m willing to take entirely. I’ll cover your expenses, I’ll take care of your visa extensions.”
“Like I’m some well-kept woman?”
“I wouldn’t want you regretting every moment with me,” he said. “I need you here. I want you here. Need and want are different things, but these matter to me now; it matters so much.”
Iesha took a deep breath. “I’m trying to come into terms with this. It’s all too sudden…”
“I know it is,” he admitted. “I have no excuse for it. You have time to think it over. If it means anything at all, there’s no pressure in this. I’m just telling you how I feel, and I’m hoping you feel the same way.”
She didn’t want to tell him; it was all too soon. Emotions were something she held dear, and if she could just stop herself from telling him that she had fallen in love with him, she knew she was safe. What could she say? What could she say that was not a lie? Something that was almost like the truth, but far from it? She didn’t want him hurt. Did he really think this through? If she was in his position…
She took a deep breath, willing herself to say something else, something that didn’t scream that it was all mutual. It was said simply enough. There were no promises, nothing overstated. She found herself looking at his eyes, something she rarely did when conversations turned serious. He was fun to be with, he was innately kind, and he made her happy.
He wasn’t difficult to love at all.
*
She lay in bed beside him, listening to him breathe in and out softly. Was he asleep? They didn’t even sleep with each other tonight. They just sat talking, until they were too tired to talk, too tired to move.
Iesha could hear the wall clock ticking in the kitchen. What time was it? She didn’t want him to leave. She looked at him, with what light came from the night light, and she thought he was the most beautiful person she had ever met in her life.
She wasn’t even bothered that he hadn’t changed into sleeping clothes. She let him sleep in the clothes he had worn the whole day. She had asked him how his day went, and he told her everything. Well, at least it seemed like everything.
“What’s your mother like?” she asked him.
“They say I look like her, so maybe I look a bit girly. Do I?” he laughed. “Bearded lady.” He fished out his phone and scanned his gallery. “That’s Mama. That’s Anita, her husband Raul, my niece Isabelle, and that man there’s my dad.”
“He looks like a nice guy.”
“Appearances can be deceiving.”
“I thought you were a nice looking guy.”
“Well, that appearance wasn’t deceiving now, was it?”
She laughed. “I guess it wasn’t. Your mom’s pretty, though.”
“So you’re saying I’m pretty?” his brow rose.
“I’m saying you look nice,” she told him. “Anita’s pretty, too. Your whole family looks like a celebrity family, honestly.”
“My dad looks like a typical strict college professor,” he said. “But don’t mind him. Eventually, you’ll meet him.”
“You think he’ll dislike me?” Dislike seemed like a careful word. Would he hate me? She thought. What was there to hate? Her mother was Spanish, and she came from a decent family. She pushed the thoughts away.
He shook his head. “Highly unlikely, unless your personality doesn’t impress him.”
What kind of personality did his father gravitate towards? What about his mother? His sister? She realized there were quite a few people she needed to know, and those people needed to know her, too. It felt like college for a moment, and she remembered when Terrence introduced her to his family.
“Sounds like a tough guy to please.”
“He is, but you can ignore him. It’s what I’ve been doing for a long time now.”
“What about your mom?”
“She’s the best,” he said without a hint of embarrassment. “I’m not exactly a mama’s boy, but if someone said that, I wouldn’t mind at all. My mom kept me sane during those trying teenage years of angst and rebellion.”
“I can’t imagine you being a rebel.”
“I tried to smoke.”
“How naughty,” she quipped jokingly.
“I also tried to fail subjects. I found out I couldn’t.”
She laughed. “Can’t play stupid, huh?”
“It was worth a try,” he reasoned. “What about you? What are your parents like?”
She showed him their faces. It was a selfie with them, taken just an hour before her boarding the plane to Barcelona. “That’s my mama, Luisa, and my dad, James.”
“You look like your mom. Your dad looks like an American football player.”
She laughed. “He was in the military, but I’ll tell him that. My mom?
Aww, I’m honored to look like my mom. She kinda looks like a younger Rita Moreno, doesn’t she?”
“The Hollywood actress?”
“Yeah.”
He nodded. “Yes, she does.”
“So I’m like a black Rita Moreno?” Iesha joked.
“I’d like to think of you as biracial,” he said, “and hell of attractive.”
“You think I’m attractive?”
“If you weren’t, I wouldn’t have gotten you that camera as replacement. I’d have run away… seriously, I wouldn’t have. But, it was a plus that the tourist I bumped into turned out to be hot.” He made a pretend sizzling noise as he touched his finger on her arm.
“Stop it.”
“It’s true.”
“What else is true?” she asked him.
“I don’t think I can manage without you.”
“You managed fine without me until two weeks ago.”
“That was before I met you. Can’t imagine having met you earlier, but maybe if we did, I’d have been a terrible date.”
“I’d have liked you, and then dumped you if you were being a jerk, like yesterday.”
“I’ll try to not let it happen again,” he said in a solemn voice.
“Does she still affect you so much?”
“Ana Paula?” he was quiet for a moment. “I’d be lying if I said she didn’t affect me, no matter how tiny. We were together for years, like how you were with the Kinsley guy. I don’t want to get back with her, if you’re curious. That cheating was more than enough to avoid her. You?”
“What about me?”
“Does he still affect you?”
She nodded. “Yes. I’m sometimes reminded of him, randomly.”
He shrugged. “Figures,” he said, “you were going to get married only a few months ago. How did you find out?”
“She walked up to me. Well, she walked into the exclusive engagement party we had,” she closed her eyes, remembering everything like it was yesterday. The complete healing might take a while.