His eyes remain closed but his jaw unclenches. “Do what?”
“Why did you help me?” I swallow the word “again” before it can escape.
A breath blows slowly through his lips and his eyes open, but he only stares into the expanse of the cavern. “I don’t know.”
The same as last time I asked.
“That’s not a good enough answer. You are too smart a Mer to act without thinking. It would make you a bottom feeder like me to be ruled by your body or emotions.”
His head snaps toward me and he glares. “I am not a bottom feeder.”
I shrug.
He sighs and settles back down into the sand. Although he stares into the silence, it feels like a pregnant pause, so I wait for him to speak again.
“Do you remember when we were younglings and we started school education?”
“Uh-hum.”
“You were just another youngling then. No one had stamped you yet with the label of bottom feeder. I was scared and missed my mother. The other younglings began picking on me and calling me a bottom feeder because I was too emotional. But you…you took my hand in yours and pulled me away from them. You told me to be brave and to just come and hold your hand any time I felt lonely.” His eyes meet mine. “Do you remember?”
I shake my head. “I don’t remember.”
He frowns and turns away again. “Well, I do. I never forgot. Later when they had branded you with the cursed label, I wanted to return the favor. I wanted to come and hold your hand and tell you that you could come to me any time you felt lonely. But I was afraid that I’d get branded a bottom feeder with you. Even the teachers began to treat you differently. Elders and my parents even talked about you when you weren’t around. Things were snowballing so fast that I became frozen in indecision, and I missed the opportunity to comfort you in your time of need.”
My skin prickles up and down my arm at the thought that someone had wanted to comfort me at that time. Warmth pools in my stomach. My throat constricts.
Bailey’s eyes close again and his jaw clenches. I stare at him for a long moment, and when I think him asleep and consider leaving, he starts again, his voice quiet. “So on the day of your reckoning, I panicked at the thought of you dying and my forever being in your debt. I decided to finally return the favor the only way I knew how.”
Even though he can’t see it, I nod in response. It all makes sense now. He was returning kindness for kindness. He isn’t ruled by his emotions the way I’ve always been ruled by mine. A logical progression caused him to make sure I was okay after my reckoning. Then I blurt, “But what about today?”
His eyes snap open, and his brows furrow. “What do you mean?”
“What you say makes sense. You returned the favor within the days after my reckoning. But today…what you did went beyond that repayment. You’ve made it so that I now owe you. It was unnecessary, since I could never repay your kindness.”
He swallows again. “I…I don’t expect you to.”
I nod. “Okay, but why did you help me today?”
His eyes widen in response and dart back and forth as though searching for an answer. Then his eyelids become hooded. “I just didn’t want my brother and his reputation sullied by spawning with a bottom feeder.”
A shiver racks me to the core. My blood runs cold, and I wrap my arms around myself for comfort. Even though part of me knew that had been Brandeeb’s intention, I’d blocked it from my mind. While rubbing my arms for warmth, I watch Bailey chew on his lip while continuing to stare into the darkness.
“Why did you come here?” I ask.
He shrugs and winces. “My brother will need a few days to cool off and I need to heal. It’s best we don’t see each other while still in the heat of a disagreement.”
Another logical response. I nod.
In the darkness of the cave we both stay quiet for a few moments until a grumble breaks the silence. At first, I think my stomach has betrayed me, and then I realize it was Bailey’s. A strange happiness flutters in my gut again. I lean forward. “I’ll get you something to eat.”
“Don’t trouble yourself. I’m fine.” He closes his eyes again.
I frown. “You’re not fine. You’re hungry. Besides, you’ll heal better fed than unfed.”
He humphs.
With a nod, I snatch up my spear and head toward the dark, small opening of the cave. The fear I had upon entering into the darkness has left me entirely. Instead it is replaced with a lightness of being I haven’t felt in a long time. I scold myself for being happy in Bailey’s need. But it is the need that makes me happy. Someone needs me.
I haven’t felt needed in so long, I can hardly remember when I last had this feeling. Fading sunlight greets me when I finally break out of the narrow passageway. The tunnel seemed longer on my way in, but I did have my eyes closed. I blink a few times to adjust my eyes to the sudden brightness. After peering at the blue sky above the surface, I determine I have an hour or so before sunset. Plenty of time to hunt some dinner.
CHAPTER EIGHT
WHEN I RETURN TO the cave with a bass and a few crabs, I find Bailey asleep. His breathing has become even and his facial expression has softened. He’s always looked at me as though I cause him pain. Now I really have. Red from the wounds on his face peeks out from under the blubber salve. I sigh. Although his reasons are logical, I can’t help but feel that there is a little bit of a lie in them. Because my emotions are more in tune than an average Mer, I’ve always been sensitive to others. I’m sure there are more reasons to his behavior than he is saying.
Bailey adjusts position and moans in his sleep. His face tightens.
“I’m back with some food. Would you like to eat?” I ask quietly so as not to surprise him.
His eyelids flutter open and he growls groggily. After a few blinks and winces, he draws himself up on his tailfin to sit, leaning against the wall of the cave. In response, the algae around him darkens, making a shadowy print around where his body presses in.
In one hand I offer him the bass and in the other a crab.
He eyes them. “So you hunt well now?”
I smile and nod. “I caught another bass, but it was smaller than this one. I already ate it.”
With a smirk, he says, “Smaller? Are you sure you didn’t keep the larger one for yourself?”
“No way!” My voice echoes against the cave walls.
“The lady doth protest too much,” he teases and takes a bite of the fish.
“You’re bigger and need the meat more than I do. I wouldn’t dare eat the larger fish.” Although I know he’s just teasing, I want him to know that I’m here to take care of him. He isn’t a burden. In fact, I feel better than I have since my reckoning began. Having someone to talk to and spend time with is something I’ve missed since before my exile. I haven’t had anyone since my father lost his soundness of mind and was taken from me.
He finishes both of the crabs I brought as well. When he meets eyes with me, he looks away again shyly. “Thank you,” he whispers in a barely audible tone.
A smile pulls at my cheeks, and I wrap my arms around my tail as I fold it in closer to my torso. “Rest. I can keep watch for you.”
He scoffs. “There’s no need. This is an undiscovered cave. It is neither in the Chronicles of Mer or the human maps.”
I nod. “Then I’ll keep you company?”
He lifts and drops one shoulder in response and stretches once more in the black sand. “Stay. Go. It makes no difference to me.”
Behind where he’d been sitting against the wall, the algae slowly lights up again from the outside in. I glance back at him. His eyes are closed.
If we had been Land Walkers, I imagine that I would start a campfire and stare into the flames. Instead I watch the illuminating algae reignite the shadow of the shape Bailey’s body left behind. My voice has been disused since I began my exile, and it feels good to speak again. The floodgates on my mouth are opened. “I don’t remember
much before my branding. There are so many more memories of being treated as bottom feeder that I can’t recall a time when I was just treated as any other youngling.”
His eyes open again, but his gaze avoids mine. “Our fickle culture.”
“Fickle. Yes.” I clear my throat and stretch out on the sand in front of Bailey.
Our eyes meet and his widen. He tries to look away, but his gaze keeps returning to mine.
I take a shallow breath. “I don’t remember…you…ever treating me like the others did. You ignored me instead of abusing me.”
His lips part in response, but close again. His jaw works. The luminescence behind me sparkles in his eyes, and he doesn’t avert his gaze again.
“Thank you,” I say. “Thank you for never hurting me.”
He blinks several times then swallows and winces as he turns his body away. “I need to get some sleep. Try not to be so noisy.”
I nod at his back. “Okay.”
After a moment of silence, I fill the cave with quiet humming until I fall asleep too.
***
For the next two days, I hunt in the morning and evening, returning with as much food as I can carry for Bailey. In my stash of Land Walker objects, I have a bag I could have used to carry more, but I fear returning to the grotto. Instead, I feed myself while hunting so that I have more room in my arms for Bailey’s meals.
He eats well and heals quickly. I can tell because his wincing becomes less frequent, and his attitude toward me is softer. When I return with my morning catch, he sits up quickly and smiles a greeting before he hides it with a scowl. I never realized he has dimples on both sides of his chin. But there is something familiar about them. Maybe a memory from when I was a youngling?
I smile. “Two sea trout for you today.”
He nods. Although he doesn’t say much to me and spends most of the time calling me noisy, it feels as though he enjoys my company almost as much as I enjoy his. He’s not as sullen as before.
I sit in front of him and watch him while he eats. “What is your line of study now?”
He chews slowly, watching his trout for a few moments, and stays silent.
Although he rarely answers my questions, I keep trying anyway. When he doesn’t answer, I just pelt him with more. “I prefer the warmer seas of the south, but I know a lot of Mer head north for the summer. What about your family? Do you tend toward the nomadic or do you stay here in Bermuda all summer?”
When he continues to eat without looking up, I answer for him. “I don’t remember you leaving with the caravan each year, but I really didn’t watch them as they left. For me, summer was always the easiest and best time. With less Mer around to remind me daily of my cursed state, I could spend more time studying quietly without interruption.”
He humphs. “So you spent all your time studying and still stayed at the bottom of the class?”
I shrug. “I don’t think anything I did would change my state. Even when I thought I’d improved, my placing in the class remained unchanged. I think that tradition made it so that once I was solidly named bottom feeder I could do nothing to pull myself up.”
He frowns. “Things are not supposed to be that way.”
“It’s the way things are even if they aren’t supposed to be.”
He eats his second trout in silence, and for once, I don’t feel much like pelting him with questions this round. Once he finishes, he settles again into the black sand. The red marks on his cheeks are faint, and the ones on his side are shallow. He no longer needs application of blubber salve to finish healing.
His wounds aren’t as severe as they’d seemed the first day and the salve has done its job of keeping things clean and quickening the healing process. The only thing that will continue to take time to heal are his ribs. He still winces occasionally while changing position.
The life inside the cavern is interesting to look at but not very edible. Each of the fish within are barely bite-sized and some have the color of poison anyway. I study them, taking note of their type in my head, scanning my memories for breeds and types of life. In the Caribbean when I was younger, I’d met a kraken friend of my father’s whose hobby was spelunking. I wonder what he would think of this cave.
It isn’t long before Bailey’s breathing becomes even. Sleeping for long stretches helps with his healing process. He’ll heal of any issues within a few days, and then he can return to Bermuda and his family. My stomach flips at the prospect. I’ll be alone again. Taking care of Bailey’s needs made me forget about my daily routine. I didn’t miss the horses much, and the stories that I watched on television have become a distant vapor, like a dream.
I stretch out on the sand beside Bailey and watch his sleeping face. He’d be mortified if he knew I often watch him while he sleeps. Since the beginning of my exile, I have spent my time hunting most of the day and watching stories with Betty for most of the night. Sleeping was something I didn’t spend much time doing. Once the sun was up, it was hard for me to sleep in the bright light, and then I also liked spending time with the horses, which I could only do in the morning.
My limbs cramp and I stretch out on the sand, staring at the cavern’s high ceiling. The algae cover the top of the cave as well as the sides, giving a soft, welcoming glow. What a find this place has been. If only I’d braved coming in sooner, I might have been able to sleep during the days before. But the thought of being in the cave alone leaves me with an aching heart. It would seem empty without someone to talk to. I close my eyes and sigh.
Behind my lids, the vivid colors of the Land Walkers’ world turns like a kaleidoscope. Will I return to the daily life I created for myself once Bailey leaves, or will I stay here without him? When I think of the trap left by the man who spotted me, I can’t help but feel that perhaps the cave would be a safer place. After a while, sleep overcomes me.
CHAPTER NINE
OPENING MY EYES, I shift back up. How long was I asleep, and how much daylight do I have left? I glance over and find Bailey still asleep. No need to wake him. It will take me an hour or so to collect food, and I like spending time in the sun. I stretch, lift my spear, and start for the tunnel entrance to the cave. Once outside, I’ll be able to tell how much time I have before sunset. But as I draw closer to the opening, I hear voices.
“The entrance is tight, but once we get in, it opens up. Bailey and I found this when we were younglings.” Brandeeb’s deep voice echoes toward me, and my chest clenches in response.
Trapped.
There is only the one way in and out.
My claustrophobia returns. My quickened heart beat fills my ears with blood and ringing. Gooseflesh rises on my arms. What can I do? My fists clench around my spear, but the thought of truly stabbing a Mer with it repulses me. I spin around and return to Bailey.
“Bailey,” I whisper-shout.
Grabbing him by the shoulder, I shake him back and forth while eyeing the cavern for a place to hide. There is none, I already know, but I still can’t help but search frantically.
“What?” he grumbles.
“They are coming. Brandeeb is here.” My throat constricts and my voice has to claw past the knot in my throat.
His eyes widen and now, even he can hear the indistinct voices coming from the tunnel. There is nowhere for us to swim… nowhere to hide. Bailey grabs me by the wrist and shoots upward, his own chest heaving with labored breath. He pulls me straight for the entrance. It is the last direction I want to go. Although I don’t resist his pull, I follow reluctantly.
Once we reach the entrance, the voices grow louder, seeming inches away. Bailey pushes me against the cavern wall and puts a finger to his lips. I nod and continue to hold my breath. I don’t know when I started holding it, but the saltwater burns in my throat and lungs. Pushing my spear to his chest, I offer it to Bailey. He shakes his head and darts over the entrance to the other side and flattens against the wall as well.
Brandeeb shushes his companion. In a perfectly audible whi
sper, he says, “Did you see that? I think I saw a shadow against the light.”
His companion grumbles.
Blond curls are first to poke through the tunnel entrance. Then Brandeeb’s crystal blue eyes. His gaze meets mine, and his eyes narrow, a wicked smile tugs the side of his lip.
The breath I was holding seeps out of me with a quiet whimper.
Just then, Bailey launches himself into action. He grabs his brother by the neck and yanks him the rest of the way out of the tunnel. Together they both fall to the tunnel floor several yards in.
A panicked yelp comes from within the tunnel and two Mer rush out to join the fray. Two? I clutch the spear to my chest. The two Mer don’t seem to notice me at all as they work to pull the brothers apart. Bailey’s side wound opens again, and blood thickens the water. Four new long claw marks are raked across Brandeeb’s chest, and from ear to neck, he has one long half-healed scar that is much deeper than his brother’s. Both Mer are held back by the two who came with Brandeeb.
I recognize one as the dark Mer who had been with Brandeeb in the first attack. The other is a smaller, younger Mer with red hair. The redhead speaks, “It is unbecoming of brothers to settle their differences with violence. Why can we not discuss this matter and come to a resolution?”
Brandeeb glares with venom at his brother. “What resolution? My brother is determined to keep me from what I want. And on what grounds?”
Bailey scowls but doesn’t say a word.
The wicked gaze Brandeeb laid upon his brother suddenly turns into a poisoned smile and moves to me. “Did you want to keep her to yourself, Brother? Is she your concubine?”
Suddenly all four gazes are on me. I gasp and suck in another breath, holding it. My body freezes in position.
Bailey’s look grows angry and he yells, “Get out of here!”
My fight or flight instinct was already heightened, and at his words, my body shoots forward and I dive into the tunnel.
“After her!” Brandeeb screeches.
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