“Are you sure you’re going to be okay with this?” her sister asked. “You’ve never been very good with blood and stuff like that. I don’t want you fainting on me.”
Elise let out a long harsh breath. Lifting her chin, she squared her shoulders. “I’m not going to faint. Remember, I saw his injuries before.”
“Okay, then. Let’s go.” Juliane strode toward the reception desk.
“We’re here to see Seth Finley. Can you tell us what room he’s in?” Elise held her breath as she waited.
“Let me see.” The bespectacled woman turned to her computer screen.
The beat of Elise’s heart matched the clack, clack, clack of the keyboard as the woman typed.
The woman looked up from her computer screen. “He’s in room two fourteen.”
“Thanks.” Elise headed to the elevators.
While Elise and Juliane rode to the second floor in silence, Elise tried to figure out what she would say to Seth. Maybe all she had to do was listen. Would he have an excuse for what he had done?
As the elevator doors opened, Juliane glanced at Elise. “Are you ready?”
Elise nodded. “This isn’t going to be easy, but I’m ready.”
“Good.” Juliane pointed down the hall. “Room two fourteen is that way.”
“Okay.” Elise followed, taking in the medicinal smell and the beeping machines. “Thanks for coming with me.”
“Glad to help.”
Elise said a prayer as a new sense of dread that hadn’t been there just seconds before inundated her mind. But she could do this. Slowly, she put one foot in front of the other as they passed the bank of monitors along the wall in the nurses’ station.
As they drew near the room, Dr. Daubenmire came out, followed by a nurse. He glanced up from the chart he carried. “Elise. Juliane. Are you here to visit Seth?”
Elise nodded. “Is he doing okay? Can he have visitors?”
Dr. Daubenmire nodded. “You can visit, but he’s still in quite a lot of discomfort. The pain medication may make him somewhat incoherent.”
“Thanks, Dr. Daubenmire.” Elise wondered whether Seth would be able to carry on a conversation.
“Are you ready?” Juliane’s question stopped Elise’s speculation.
Elise turned. “I am.”
“Good. Let’s go.” Without waiting for Elise, Juliane charged into Seth’s room.
Summoning her courage, Elise hurried after Juliane. Elise surveyed the room. Eyes closed, Seth lay on the bed, one leg elevated and encased in a cast. Bandages peeked out from under the hospital gown that fit loosely across his torso. Machines and wires surrounded him. As she observed the red mark across his forehead that contrasted with the paleness of the rest of his face, a huge hand seemed to be pressing down on her chest.
Elise stepped closer to Juliane and whispered, “Do you think he’s sleeping?” Juliane shrugged.
Elise gazed at Seth’s face. Even with his injuries, he was handsome. Her heart did a little flip-flop as she watched him. How could she let that happen? She’d spent months telling herself that she was over him, that she couldn’t care about someone who had clearly never cared for her. So how could she still respond just to the sight of him, even after all her prayers to take her feelings for him away? Her prayer hadn’t been answered…or had it?
How did God want her to deal with Seth?
The question zipped through her mind while she thought of the changes she’d made in her life since returning home. She was finally feeling settled and working to keep her life in tune with God. Would Seth throw all of that out of whack? Or was his return into her life part of a higher plan?
Elise placed one hand over her heart and leaned toward the bed. “Seth.”
His eyes flickered open. He seemed to be trying to focus. Then he smiled. “Elise? You’re actually here. Or am I dreaming?”
She swallowed a lump in her throat. He didn’t seem to remember she’d come to see him while he’d been in the ICU. Everything in her wanted to reach out and take his hand, but she feared her own reaction and what it might mean.
Despite her questions, Elise knew she couldn’t let him draw her in. No matter what his role was meant to be in her life, for her own peace of mind she had to remain aloof—detached. It hurt too much to even think of caring for him again. She wanted him to get better, but she couldn’t get involved in his life.
“You aren’t imagining.” She forced herself to remain calm even though her insides were scrambled. “How are you doing?”
“I’m alive. That about says it.” His eyes drifted shut. “I’m feeling…well…a little drowsy.”
“Do you want us to leave?”
His eyes fluttered open. “No. Stay.”
The weariness in his voice made her want to comfort him. She pushed back the urge. “You do sound tired. So we won’t stay long.”
“I’m dopey from the painkillers.” He smiled weakly. “Have a seat.”
“I’ll stand.” Elise resisted his request out of self-preservation. “So you’re feeling better?”
Seth nodded. “You two still don’t look like sisters.”
Although his statement was true, Elise thought it came out of the blue. Figuring the drugs were talking, she ignored the comment. “I’m glad you’re doing well.”
“I wouldn’t say ‘well’ exactly. I’ve got a long road of recovery ahead. But considering the alternative, I’m certainly grateful.”
Juliane stepped closer to the bed. “You’re lucky to be alive.”
Seth touched his forehead. “Yeah, this big red mark is from the airbag, which definitely saved my life.”
Elise swallowed the lump that formed in her throat as Seth explained only one of his injuries. “The airbag did that?”
He nodded, then touched his shoulder. “And the seat belt, another lifesaver, tore up my shoulder, but I’m here.”
Elise didn’t want to think about how close Seth had probably come to death. “Any idea how long before you get out of the hospital?”
“No. Broken leg, broken ribs, internal bleeding. They patched me up, but no telling when they’ll let me out.” Seth gave her a weak smile. “Your dad saved my life. I don’t know how I can ever thank him.”
Elise didn’t know what to say as another lump rose in her throat. An image of the accident flitted through her mind. Pushing it away, she tried to focus on the thought of her dad’s calming voice, not his description of Seth’s car wrapped around a tree. “Dad was glad he came back to find you.”
“Me, too.” Seth closed his eyes, his voice sounding tired again.
“Are you sure you’re up for company?” Elise’s gaze traveled to Seth’s face.
“Yeah. Please stay.” Opening his eyes, Seth tried to sit up. “We haven’t had a chance to talk yet.”
“But you seem tired.”
“I’m fine.”
Before Elise could say another word, a nurse, sporting a colorful smock, bustled into the room and looked at Elise and Juliane. “You’ll need to leave the room for a few minutes. As soon as I’m done, you can come right back.”
“Are you here again?” Seth grinned. “You just can’t live without me.”
“I know.” The nurse chuckled. “I have to keep checking those vital signs. We don’t want you expiring on us.”
Elise took in their exchange. Nothing much had changed about Seth. Even lying in a hospital bed, he was charming the women. Clearly the end of their relationship hadn’t left him too broken up. He certainly hadn’t forgotten how to flirt. Well, she wouldn’t worry about it. She’d listen to what he had to say, and that would be the end of it. He might be here in town, but she was determined to lead her own life, and he could lead his.
“Okay.” Without glancing his way, Elise motioned to Juliane and headed for the door. “Elise?”
She turned as she reached the door. “Yes?”
“You’re coming back, right?”
“As long as the nurse says it’s okay.”<
br />
The nurse smiled. “Absolutely. You can come back in as soon as I’m done.”
With Juliane close behind, Elise stepped into the hall and leaned against the wall.
Joining her, Juliane touched her arm. “Are you okay?”
“I’m good. If you want to go, you can.”
“Are you sure?”
Elise nodded. “I can deal with it.”
“Okay, but you want me to call you on your cell in a little while in case you need an excuse to leave?”
Elise chuckled. “No, I can make my own excuse.”
“You’re sounding a little more in control.”
“Not me so much, but I’m trying to let God be in control.”
“Good thinking. I’ll see you later.” Juliane gave Elise a hug. “You can fill me in when you get home. I’m going to stop and see Lukas on the way. I’ve got some wedding stuff to run by him.”
“Does he really care?”
Juliane gave Elise an impish grin. “Probably not, but I want him to feel like he’s involved.”
“Have fun.” Elise motioned for Juliane to go. “Talk to you later.
While Elise waited, questions buzzed through her mind. How would God use this reunion with Seth? What was God trying to teach her?
She couldn’t help thinking about Juliane’s relationship with Lukas. They had known each other in college, but Lukas’s alcohol addiction at the time had led to behavior Juliane had found very hard to forgive. It had taken time for him to prove to her that he’d changed, but eventually they’d let go of the past and had fallen in love. Now this accident was making her face the stuff about Seth she’d conveniently pushed to the dark recesses of her mind.
These unforeseen circumstances had changed everything and forced her to face Seth and the past. Had he changed, as well? It seemed unlikely, but how could she be sure? Talking things out was the only way to know.
Could she face Seth alone? She’d leaned on Juliane earlier, but now she had to stand on her own. What was Seth going to tell her? Was she ready to hear his story?
When Elise reentered the room, Seth breathed a sigh of relief. She’d actually stayed, and Juliane wasn’t with her. That would give him a better opportunity to explain his life in the past year and a half to Elise.
“Juliane couldn’t stay. She had to go meet Lukas.” Elise stepped closer to the bed, but she still appeared tense and wary, staring at him with those brandy-colored eyes. They made him remember the love that used to radiate from them. Could that ever happen again? “I’m glad you could stay.”
Elise looked as if she wanted to bolt. “If you’re not up to visiting tonight, I can come another time. Your mom told me you were ready for visitors. She wanted me to talk to you.”
“I’m fine.” Seth’s heart took a nosedive. Elise wasn’t here because she wanted to see him. She was here again because his mother had probably badgered her into coming.
“You’re sure?” As Elise gazed at him, the golden highlights in her brown hair shimmered in the overhead lights.
Seth nodded, knowing no matter how he felt he had to take advantage of her presence now. So he’d better start talking, or Elise would probably decide to leave. “If you don’t mind, could you please bring the chair closer to the bed and sit down?”
“Sure.” She pushed the chair toward the head of the bed and placed it so she was facing him. Looking like a child who had been called into the principal’s office, she sat straight-backed with her hands folded in her lap.
Seth wanted to tell her to relax, but that wouldn’t get them off to a very good start. The tension in her shoulders told him that she wasn’t eager to be here. He wished he could make her feel more at ease. How was he going to start this conversation?
He needed to collect his thoughts, not an easy task considering the pain medication. He might as well get right to the point. “I suppose you’re wondering how I came to have Olivia. I guess I should start there.”
Wide-eyed, she nodded. “That would be good.”
Telling Elise about Olivia had been his idea, but now that he had a chance to explain, his mind was numb. The words wouldn’t form in his mouth. “I’ve changed.”
“How?” Her skeptical tone stabbed him in the heart.
“I know I said I’d start with Olivia, but I have to tell you what came before in order for it all to make sense.”
“Go ahead. I’m here to listen.” Nothing in Elise’s expression changed.
Seth’s heart sank when she crossed her arms—a sure sign she didn’t want to be here. Convincing her that he was different wouldn’t be easy. “The day we saw Sophie with Olivia, I was very angry. She’d lied to me the last time we’d spoken.”
“What lies?” Elise’s inflection and unchanging demeanor made her continued skepticism very evident.
Pain that the medication couldn’t blunt surrounded his heart as he told Elise about Sophie’s deceptions. “She was stringing me and her current boyfriend both along so she could get twice as much money. Once I found that out, I cut all ties. I convinced myself that Olivia wasn’t mine at all and refused to even have a paternity test. Looking back now, I can see how wrong I was, how I punished an innocent baby for her mother’s mistake. But I was too angry to see that at the time. Then everything changed.”
“How?” This time genuine interest sounded in Elise’s question as she dropped her arms.
Elise’s response filled Seth with hope that she would finally understand the reasons for what he’d done. “I told you about my dad’s sudden death the other night. His death caused me to examine my life. At the funeral, I saw the influence he had had on the people who knew him. I vowed then and there to be a man like my dad.”
Nodding, Elise leaned forward. “I remember your dad from when your parents came on one of our cruises. He impressed me as the kind of man you describe.”
Taking in Elise’s statement, Seth didn’t say anything for a moment. She was probably comparing him to his father and thinking he didn’t measure up. “My dad was definitely someone to look up to, but he didn’t take credit for himself. He gave God the credit.”
“A good thing to do.”
“Before my father’s death, I didn’t have much use for God. You were aware of that.”
Elise nodded, sorrow in her eyes. “You made that pretty clear.”
Seth sighed. “Yeah. I thought my parents and their religion were old-fashioned. Who needed God?”
“So you’re saying you changed your mind when your father died?”
“His death made me think about my own life. I started attending church with my mother, because it was important to her. I wanted to do whatever I could to help her with her grief. And in the process, and much to my surprise, I became a believer.”
“I’m glad to hear that.” She stood and turned toward the window, refusing to look at him. “Now tell me about Olivia.”
Seth sensed Elise’s withdrawal as she gazed out the window. “Is everything all right?”
“Yes. Just get on with your story.”
“Please sit down again.”
Turning to look at him, she shrugged. “If that’s what you want.”
“I do.”
“I’m listening.” She sat, her posture tense again.
“When I became a Christian, I realized I’d lived a very self-centered life.” Seth tried to gauge Elise’s reaction to his statement, but she appeared unmoved. He wasn’t sure what to make of her lack of response. “I knew I had to try to make amends. To forgive those who had wronged me and seek forgiveness from the people I’d treated badly in return. Especially you and Sophie. I needed to let her know that I’d forgiven her for her deception. I also wanted to find out if I really was a father. I’d refused to even consider the idea before, but once I let go of my anger, I realized there was a real chance that I was Olivia’s father. I tried to contact both of you.”
“So that’s why you’ve been calling me?”
“Yes.” But you wouldn’t talk
to me. He wanted to say that, but right now those words would probably only alienate her further.
Tears welled in her eyes as she waved her hand toward him. “I’m sorry I wouldn’t talk to you before. Can you forgive me?”
“Do you think we can forgive each other?”
Elise didn’t say anything for what seemed like forever. She blinked back the tears and released a heavy sigh, then nodded.
“Thanks.”
“So that’s how you came to have Olivia.”
“Not quite. That’s just how I started looking for her.”
“Was Sophie still in Key West?”
Seth shook his head. “She wasn’t there, and no one I talked to seemed to know where she’d gone.”
“So what did you do then?”
“A couple of people suggested she might have gone back to Atlanta, where she’d lived before.”
“Was she there?”
“No.”
“How did you find her?”
“I didn’t.”
“Then how—”
“How did I get Olivia?”
Elise nodded.
Seth took a deep breath. “I received a call saying Sophie intended to give Olivia up for adoption.”
“Why?” Shock sounded in Elise’s voice.
“I’m not sure.” Seth stared at his cast, breaking eye contact with Elise. He didn’t want to see her reaction to what he was about to say. She didn’t think much of him. She’d made that quite clear when she ended their relationship. His own guilt over the situation didn’t help. Would the rest of the story change her mind or only confirm what she already believed about him?
“What did the caller say?”
“The woman only mentioned the adoption and that I was listed as the father on the birth certificate.”
“So you didn’t know anything about Sophie’s frame of mind?”
Seth still couldn’t bring himself to look at Elise. He didn’t want to tell this part of the story, but he had to be honest with her. “Not at that time, but she’d told me during our confrontation in Key West that she was thinking about giving up Olivia for adoption. I didn’t care then, because I didn’t think she was mine.”
“What did you do?”
“I immediately took a paternity test, which proved I was Olivia’s father just as Sophie had said. I’d done nothing to help her, and I knew that was a terrible mistake.”
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