by Mandy Magro
‘Excellent. I’ll give Greg a call once we’ve finished dinner and let him know.’
‘Thanks, Ryan, I’d really appreciate that.’ Her smile faltered. ‘Is your mum okay?’
Ryan took a few moments to answer, as though he was weighing up what to say. ‘Yes and no. The grief from losing my sister and now she’s the legal guardian of my sister’s twelve-year-old daughter, Samara, and all of this piled on top of the usual stresses of being a cattleman’s wife has taken a toll on her.’
Matilda gasped. ‘Your sister passed away?’
Ryan nodded, as though unable to speak.
‘When? How?’
‘Just over a year ago.’ He took a few moments to answer the latter. ‘My turn to say I don’t really want to talk about how she passed.’ He tried to smile, but failed.
‘Where’s Samara’s father, couldn’t he help with taking care of her?’
Something ominous flashed in Ryan’s eyes. He looked down at his hands as though recalling something and Matilda noticed a thin red scar across his left hand. ‘Samara’s father is no longer alive either.’ He met Matilda’s gaze, the rage within his eyes intense. ‘Sorry, but that’s another thing I don’t really want to talk about.’
Matilda saw his knuckles whitening as his hands balled into fists and she felt a part of her come undone seeing him so troubled. She understood the pain Samara would be going through with losing her mother, and no longer having her dad either was extremely sad. She gritted her teeth to stop from bursting into compassionate tears. ‘I understand. How’s Samara coping?’
‘Surprisingly good sometimes and then other times she crumbles, the poor darling. It’s bad enough for a girl her age to lose her mum, but to lose her dad too …’ He shook his head, taking a few moments to compose himself. ‘It shatters me to see her hurting so badly and there’s not really anything I can do to stop the pain. If I could bear it for her, I would in a heartbeat.’
‘You’re close to her?’
He nodded. ‘Very.’
‘I’m sure your love for her helps her through it more than you may think.’
Ryan’s eyes were now wet. ‘Thanks, Tilly.’
Matilda didn’t know what else to say, so she went with the first thing that came to mind. ‘Well, I look forward to meeting your mum and Samara.’
‘That’s nice to say. For some reason I reckon you and Mum are going to get on like a house on fire. Samara might take a little while to come round, she can be quite shy, but she will like you too, I just know it.’
‘Let’s hope you’re right.’ She took another sip of Coke. ‘So how’s your mum coping now?’
He sucked in a breath, then blew it away. ‘She was bedridden with grief at first but is slowly getting back to the happy, energetic woman she once was, before it all happened. I don’t think she’ll ever fully heal emotionally but as time goes on she seems to be coping with her grief a little better.’
Matilda’s heart ached for this woman she’d never met. ‘That’s horrible. Your poor mum.’
‘Yeah, it sucks, but she’s a strong lady. She needs to keep taking it easy, stick to her healthy eating and her yoga and meditation, not go overdoing anything, and she’ll keep improving as the days go by. One step at a time, as it is for all of us.’
‘That’s good to hear.’ Distractedly, she began folding a napkin into a swan. ‘So how come you don’t work on the family farm? Don’t you like agriculture?’
Ryan shrugged as he watched her work magic with the paper napkin. ‘I love working on the farm. I was there from the day I left high school until last year, but after my sister died things changed around there and I felt like I needed to get out of town for a bit, so I took up truck driving.’
‘That must have been hard for you, leaving the family business like that. Do you reckon you’d ever go back to it?’
‘Maybe one day I will. I’ve kind of had enough of truck driving after a year of it, don’t know how blokes do it their whole life, but …’ He sighed. ‘It broke Dad’s heart when I left, but I had to.’
‘Why did you have to?’
‘Let’s just say I did and leave it at that, huh?’ Ryan shifted in his seat.
‘Okay, well, I’m sure he’d have you back in a heartbeat. Any father would want his son working alongside him.’
‘Yeah, we’ll see.’
With Ryan’s demeanour becoming extremely cool she decided to zip it. There was clearly a lot of things she didn’t know, and it wasn’t her place to offer too much of an opinion. She’d probably overstepped the mark already. ‘Fair enough.’ The paper art complete, she plunked it in the middle of the table beside the vase.
Ryan picked it up and evaluated it. ‘That’s bloody impressive.’
Matilda chuckled, happy that her diversion tactic had worked. ‘It’s only a swan.’
‘Only? I have a hard time folding napkins into those fan looking thingies.’
‘My mum was a waitress at a local cafe in Longreach and I used to go and help her. She was big on making the place look as pretty as possible. She used to teach me how to fold them into loads of different things, like water lilies, chef’s hats and even the Opera House.’
‘Cool.’ Ryan smiled as he placed it back down beside the vase.
It was good to see him smiling again. ‘Will Greg need references when I go for the job?’
‘Only if you have some, it might help you stand out over any other applicants.’
Matilda smiled softly. ‘I don’t really have anyone to get a reference from. I was a barmaid for two years when I left high school and the publican I worked for has left and gone God knows where, and then I took a job as a camp cook and I don’t think I’ll be getting a reference from them after leaving without any notice this morning.’
‘I didn’t know you’d already had experience as a barmaid. That’s gotta help.’ Ryan nodded to a fellow trucker as he said g’day in passing. ‘Did you enjoy being a camp cook?’
‘Yeah, it was good but it had its moments too.’
‘How about being a barmaid?’
‘I loved it. I really liked the social side of it.’ Her hands clenched beneath the table. She cleared her throat and tried to smile through the painful memories. ‘I only left because my boyfriend hated me working there. Thought I might meet someone else, the silly fool. Reckons that being a barmaid was basically inviting men to sleep with me.’
Ryan’s gaze sharpened as though he was putting more of the jigsaw together. ‘Really? He’s got a few trust issues then, aside from that a massive problem with being a control freak.’
Matilda stared at a little dent in the table leg. ‘You could say that.’
‘You still with him?’
She willed herself not to burst into tears. If she started, she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to stop. ‘As of this morning, nope.’ She clenched her teeth and a tremble coursed through her as she relived the fear of the knife blade being pressed up against her throat. Troy had never gone that far before and it had scared her to death. Instinctively her hand went to her neck. She felt Ryan touch her arm and she fought not to pull away this time. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, his touch felt good there, comforting, even protective. She drew in a deep shaky breath and, with her emotions somewhat under control, brought her eyes back to his.
‘You’ve been through some really bad stuff, hey, Tilly?’
‘You could say that too.’ She glanced to where Ryan’s hand still rested on her arm. Warmth was seeping throughout her from his touch. It was a sensation she wasn’t ready to feel, from anyone, let alone a bloke. It felt oh so good, but oh so bad at the same time. She didn’t want to depend on anyone for comfort. The only person she’d ever been able to rely on without expectations of something in return was her mum.
Ryan followed her gaze. Realising what he was doing once again he quickly apologised and pulled his hand back. ‘Sorry, I tend to be a bit touchy when someone’s upset.’ Hooking his thumb through his belt
loop as though trying to keep his hand at bay he shook his head sadly. His eyes, which were so full of compassion only moments ago, now sparked that same angry fire as before. ‘I’d love to get my hands on whoever made you so afraid. How another human being can think it’s okay to lay a hand on a woman is beyond me.’
Who was this man?
Matilda wanted to fall into his big, strong, protective arms, but she couldn’t let herself need him. It would make her too susceptible to heartache and she’d had enough of that to last her a damn lifetime. So, she had to create some distance.
‘I’ll have you know …’ Matilda feigned a strength she was far from feeling. ‘I am not afraid of anything or anyone.’
‘Yeah, righto, if that’s what you want me to believe, I’ll believe it.’ Ryan sighed wearily. ‘Just know I’m here if you ever need to talk about anything, okay?’
‘Okay. The same goes for you too.’
‘Thanks, Tilly.’ His Adam’s apple bobbed again. He cleared his throat as though uncomfortable. ‘So have you gone to the police?’
Her heart screeched to a grinding halt. Did he know more about her situation than she thought he did? ‘Why?’ Her voice shook.
‘To lay charges for domestic violence, why else?’
The breath she had been holding whooshed out. ‘Oh, no, I don’t want to do that.’
‘Why the heck not?’
‘Because I just don’t, okay.’ She gave him a look to say don’t push it any further, and was relieved when he nodded.
Folding his hands behind his head, he leant back. ‘So, once you’ve settled in at home I’ll take you to meet my motley crew of a family.’
Home, it had a nice ring to it. ‘Sounds like a plan, and thank you, Ryan, again, for going out of your way to help me.’
A news update started during the ad break in My Kitchen Rules and Matilda spun around to watch the large television mounted on the wall, her heart in her throat. She prayed to God nothing would be mentioned about her or what had happened. One mug shot and she’d most certainly be a goner in here. She could hear Ryan’s voice, as if in the distance, asking her if she was okay. With the segment over in less than a minute, she turned back to face him with the biggest smile she could muster, at the same time praying he couldn’t see the quiver in her lips or the shaking of her hands.
‘Oh, sorry, yeah, I’m fine. Just haven’t caught the news today and was wondering what was going on in our big bad world.’
‘Oh, righto, you’re pretty damn passionate about it, by the looks.’ He chuckled. ‘I don’t watch the news, it’s too depressing. Life is challenging enough without adding to the drama and heartache by watching everyone else’s woes.’
Relief swept over her with the knowledge Ryan wasn’t going to catch her out by seeing it reported—if there was anything to report. As the night was going on she was leaning towards believing that Troy was very much alive, which meant he’d be making plans to come after her. She didn’t know what was worse—that she might have accidentally killed him in her panic, or that he would now be out for her blood. She tried to shake the thoughts away. ‘I suppose that’s a good way to look at it. Might have to stop watching it myself now you’ve put it that way.’ Matilda sat back as a middle-aged woman arrived at their table with two plates and placed one in front of her. It was all she could do to stop herself from drooling when she saw the delicious burger with the works and crispy hot chips piled high beside it. She thanked the kind-looking waitress, something about her warm energy reminding her of her own mother. Her heart squeezed.
‘My pleasure lovey.’ The woman replied with a smile warm enough to brighten the darkest of days. ‘I’ve wrapped another two burgers up for your furry friend. I’ll keep them warm in the bainmarie until you go, if you like.’
Matilda nodded. ‘Okay, thank you. He woofed the other two down so fast he basically inhaled them.’
‘Oh, the poor darling,’ the woman replied before turning her focus to Ryan. ‘You want a top up of your coffee, Ryan?’
Ryan held his empty cup up. ‘I’d love one, thanks, Enid.’
Cup filled Matilda watched Enid head back towards the counter. ‘You come here pretty often then, seeing as you know each other’s names?’
‘Sure do. I usually stop here on my way home.’ Ryan gestured towards her plate. ‘Tuck in then. And don’t say I didn’t tell you these steak burgers are the best you’ll ever taste. One bite and you’ll be addicted for life.’
Ryan was right—one bite left Matilda groaning in food heaven, and for the next ten minutes they ate in virtual silence.
CHAPTER
4
It was just past midnight when the B-double truck crawled through the front gates of Ryan’s property. Rattling over a cattle grid, Matilda was pulled from her deep sleep and back into reality. She flicked her eyes open then stretched with the grace of a cat as she uncoiled from her position up against the passenger door. ‘Hey there you, how long have I been asleep for?’
‘About an hour.’ Ryan’s voice was low, comforting. He slipped off his seatbelt and a satisfied smile claimed his lips as he gazed out past the confines of the truck. ‘There really is no place like home.’
Unclipping her seatbelt too, Matilda smiled at the wistfulness written all over his face, thinking how she’d never felt that way about any of the homes she’d had in her lifetime—and there had been a few with her mother living in housing commission. The thought saddened her but she tried not to let it show. She wasn’t about to steal his happiness with her melancholy. ‘You sound like Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz, although your voice is much deeper.’
‘Haha, I think you’re more like Dorothy and Huck there is like Toto.’ Ryan flashed her a smile. ‘I used to love that movie when I was a whippersnapper.’
‘Yeah, me too. I reckon I’ve watched it a hundred times over the years. When I was little I used to try and find the yellow brick road so I could get the hell away from my own life. As much as I loved my mum, I always believed the grass would be greener on the other side—stupid me.’ Huckleberry stirred at her feet. She gave his head a pat, oblivious to Ryan’s sympathetic glance. ‘Hey buddy, we’re here now.’
‘You can get him up on your lap, if you like, so he can check out his new surroundings. Dogs need to familiarise as much as we do, if not more, I reckon.’
Matilda was pleased that Ryan cared so much about her new canine companion. It spoke volumes about the sort of soul he was. Troy believed in bashing his horses with a PC pipe to get them to do what he wanted, it used to make her sick watching it, but she didn’t dare try to stop him. Not after she tried once and he’d let her have the pipe across the back until she had fallen to the ground in agony.
‘Come on then, Huck, you heard the man, up you get.’ Huckleberry did as he was told. Settling himself in Matilda’s lap with his tail wagging happily, his ears pricked forwards as he surveyed the view outside. Matilda sat up straighter, making sure to keep a firm hold of the dog so he didn’t leap out of the open window. Her breath halted and for a moment she forgot all about her problems—being around Ryan was making it easier to forget. Beneath the country night sky, with its silvery full moon and zillions of glittering stars, the lush rolling landscape stretched out to a thick blanket of trees way off in the distance. ‘Is this all yours, Ryan?’
‘Uh huh, every single blade of grass and every inch of dirt right up to those big old pine trees over there.’ He pointed to the left of them. ‘It’s all thanks to my grandad, God rest his soul. Three years ago he left the place to Jake and me and my cousin, Kevin, but seeing as I was more connected to it, we all agreed I’d take it over and pay them out. Besides, Jake isn’t ready to leave home yet. He’s a bit of a mummy’s boy, and it wouldn’t have been flash enough for Kevin with his expensive tastes. I’m glad the bastard has nothing to do with the place after what he did to me.’
Matilda grimaced. ‘I take it you don’t really like your cousin very much?’
‘You�
��d be spot on there.’
Matilda tipped her head to the side. ‘What did he do?’
‘The unthinkable …’
‘Yeah, go on.’
‘Kevin decided to do the dirty on me with my high school sweetheart, Pippa Jones.’
‘No. Are you serious?’
‘No word of a lie … but can you believe, Pippa blamed it on me because I’m away so much for my work.’
Matilda gasped. ‘Really?’
‘Uh huh, and it gets worse. I had no idea till my mum called to tell me. Can you imagine? She felt terrible breaking the news. While I was away, halfway through a month on the road, Mum saw them together in Kevin’s car in town. They were all over each other. She and Dad confronted Kevin and he couldn’t deny it. I didn’t think life could get any worse—for me and for Mum and Dad—but that pair certainly found a way to prove otherwise.’
‘What a bitch, and I’m sorry to say, your cousin is an A-grade arsehole too.’
‘You’re not telling me anything I don’t already know. Kevin and I are like chalk and cheese. We’ve never really got on, even as kids we used to get into punch-ups all the time. Our parents were forever pulling us apart.’
‘So when did this all happen?’
‘A little over six weeks ago.’ He shook his head sadly. ‘After years of living together in a committed relationship it broke my heart that she could do something so deceitful.’
‘Geez, fresh emotional wounds then?’
‘Yep, but I’m slowly getting through it.’
‘Are Pippa and Kevin still an item?’
‘No. It was more of a cheap fling than a relationship.’
‘So where’s Pippa now?’
‘She lives in town and Kevin and his father, my dad’s brother, run the neighbouring property to ours, Green Meadows.’
‘That’d be hard with him just up the road.’
‘Yeah, it is, but I try and ignore my desire to rip his head off and shove it up his arse.’
Matilda stifled a giggle. ‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t laugh, but I love the way you just described that—so darn passionate.’