by Mandy Magro
Stepping into a sundrenched kitchen, which was the size of a small house, Matilda found herself in awe of the lavishness of it. With dark timber cupboards and white marble bench tops it was the epitome of a modern country-style kitchen. Noticing the Aga oven, she gasped out loud. Unable to hold back, she walked over and ran her fingertips around it.
‘I only had the kitchen renovated a few months ago. I’m still in awe of it myself.’ Lisa flicked the kettle on. ‘You like it, love?’
Matilda’s hands fluttered to her chest as she spun back around, her eyes wide. ‘Oh, Lisa, I love it. It’s beautiful.’
‘Do you like cooking?’
‘I sure do, it’s one of my favourite things.’ Not knowing where to stand, Matilda awkwardly switched from leg to leg. ‘My mum loved to cook and she passed the passion onto me.’
‘Oh, how lovely. My mother hated cooking, which was why I got stuck doing it as soon as I was old enough, for six younger siblings too, mind you. Not that I objected.’ She smiled as if recalling happy memories. ‘It was my dear Nan who taught me how cooking could bring so much joy, to yourself and others. Cooking and gardening are where I find my inner peace.’
‘I haven’t got much of a green thumb, I’m afraid. I think I tend to over-love my plants by either overwatering them or burning them with too much fertiliser.’
‘Yes, they’re a bit like men, plants; there’s a fine balance. Give them too much of a good thing and the challenge wanes, but give them just the right amount, enough to make them work a bit to make you bloom, and they’ll flourish. You have to let them think they’re in control, when really, without you there to love and support them, they’d eventually perish.’ Lisa flashed her a feisty smile.
Matilda rolled this over in her mind as she watched Lisa slicing the mouth-watering looking cake and placing the slices on a pretty serving platter. ‘That’s a very clever way to look at it. I like your way of thinking.’
Lisa smiled. ‘You can learn a lot from watching the workings of Mother Nature.’ She motioned to the long ten-seater table positioned by a floor-to-ceiling glass wall that allowed the lush green outside to meet the cosy welcoming warmth of the kitchen. ‘Pull up a seat, love. Would you like tea or coffee? Or I have herbal teas, if you’d prefer.’
‘Oh, I’d love a herbal tea, thank you.’ Matilda made her way to a chair on the far side of the table, so she didn’t sit with her back to Lisa.
Lisa pulled a canister from the shelf above the kettle and rummaged through it. Pulling out teabags she called out four types of tea, including Matilda’s favourite, ginger and lemongrass.
‘You’ve won me on the last one.’
‘That’s my favourite too.’ Lisa plonked it in the empty cup. ‘Would you like some honey with it?’
‘No, thanks, I’ll take it how it comes.’
‘Ryan has filled me in on what’s brought you here. I’m so sorry to hear of your mother’s passing.’
‘Thanks.’ A ball of emotion lodged in Matilda’s throat. She tried to swallow it down to where the rest of the stuff she was dealing with was hidden.
Two steaming herbal teas in hand, Lisa joined her at the table. ‘Are you coping okay, love?’
Once again Matilda was taken aback, the genuine look of compassion and understanding in Lisa’s eyes making her want to burst into tears. She took a sip from her cup and nodded, worried that if she spoke she would do just that. Placing the cup back on the table, she clasped her hands together.
Lisa reached across and gave her hands a squeeze. ‘It’s hard, isn’t it, love, adjusting to losing a loved one, especially long before their time should be up? Just know that I’m here if you need to chat, or cry, or laugh, or simply to get away from my boofhead son.’ She smiled playfully then, making Matilda giggle. ‘Only joking, of course. He is adorable.’
‘Yes, he is. Thanks, Lisa, that means a lot.’
‘Hopefully you’ll get to meet Samara tomorrow sometime, she’s over at a friend’s place today.’
‘That would be nice. I’m looking forward to meeting her.’
‘Yes, she’s a beautiful soul, our Samara, much like her mother was. You’ll have to excuse her shyness, though, as it sometimes comes across as her being rude, when she most certainly is not. She’s going through a lot.’
‘No worries at all, I completely understand.’
Lisa’s smile faded. She wrapped her hands around her tea as if trying to gather some comfort from it. ‘She’s having really bad panic attacks. I’m trying to help her through them but nothing I do or say seems to be working. I’ve tried everything—a naturopath, a Chinese herbalist, yoga classes, even taking her to a psychologist, but she clams up and won’t speak.’ Her eyes watered but she blinked the tears away. ‘I’m so worried she’s going to get worse and worse and go further into her shell until I can’t reach her anymore.’ Lisa choked back a sob. ‘It terrifies me that I might eventually lose her too.’
Matilda knew exactly what Lisa meant, because of suicide. So that’s why Ryan had the book about anxiety, to help Samara. Bless his big beautiful heart. It was Matilda’s turn to reach out and place her hand over Lisa’s. ‘I’ve been dealing with anxiety and panic attacks since I was seventeen, so I know what she’s going through.’ Troy’s menacing face flashed through her mind but she shoved the image away before it took hold of her.
‘You have?’
‘Uh huh. Trust me, it’s not easy, but you can make a full recovery from the fear of them. It takes a bit of work, self-belief and a hell of a lot of courage, but she can overcome it, I promise you that.’
‘I really hope you’re right, Tilly.’
‘Trust me, I am.’ She offered a faint smile, her own emotions almost getting the better of her. ‘My mum had a hard time with me, too, but she never gave up trying to find something that would work, and in the end she did with a program called Dare. The man that wrote it, Barry, was an anxiety sufferer himself so he speaks from experience. Thanks to him the tools I’ve got now will help me for the rest of my life. So when, and if, Samara is ready, I’ll gently try and help her too. If you and she would like me to, of course.’
The tears Lisa had been fighting off now rolled down her cheeks. She sniffled and wiped them away with her fingertips. ‘You would really do that?’
‘Yes. I know how damn scary panic attacks are and how much unnecessary darkness anxiety can put into your life, so if I can help someone else with what I’ve learnt, it would be an honour to do so.’
‘Thank you, Tilly, you might just be the miracle I’ve been praying for.’
Her hand still resting on Lisa’s, Tilly gave it a gentle squeeze. ‘Ditto.’
The back door swung open and two men, one middle-aged and the other barely twenty, stepped through in their socks. Quickly making sure all her tears were gone from her cheeks, Lisa then turned in her seat. ‘Peter, Jake…’ She motioned to Matilda with a warm smile. ‘Meet Ryan’s new flatmate, Tilly.’
CHAPTER
8
Ryan sucked in a deep breath as he shoved his mobile back in his pocket. The call had not gone down as he’d expected, but he was trying his best not to freak out and to somehow make light of a really bad situation. On the plus side, he no longer needed to weigh up whether leaving the police out of Tilly’s business was a good thing, since fate had made that decision for him. On the down side, he was not too sure how Tilly was going to take it. Part of him was terrified she would hate him for it.
At the front door he kicked off his RM Williams boots and placed them beside Tilly’s, surprised by how much he liked the look of them side by side. For a split second he imagined what it would be like to have her around long term, the two of them in a relationship, and his heart skipped a beat. Her smile, the intensity in her jewel-flecked eyes, the soft flowery scent that wrapped around him whenever she was near him and the way she looked at him when she thought he couldn’t see her enticed him more than he cared to admit. He wasn’t ready for another woman to touc
h his heart. The wounds Pippa had inflicted were still raw and his ability to trust someone was way off, but he couldn’t control what he was feeling. Damn it, though, he had to.
Latching Huckleberry’s collar to the lead on the verandah, the dog still panting from playing with Bo, Ryan shook his head at even thinking that he and Tilly could ever be more than just friends. Fancying the first woman who had paid him any attention since Pippa left was a clear indication he really needed to get out more—not that he was overly keen to do so. The whispers may have stopped but the looks some of the locals still gave him spoke volumes. But then, who were they to judge? They didn’t see the state his sister was in when he found her—it would make any man lose his mind. Giving Huckleberry a rub behind the ears, he headed inside.
The sound of laughter coming from the kitchen let him know everything was going well, as he had expected. He’d felt bad leaving Tilly to introduce herself but he knew his family would make her feel welcome, especially as he had filled them in on her situation. He hadn’t expected the phone call to last as long as it had but his mate Ben had a lot to tell him, and Ryan’s mind was whirling because of it. Ben had done as Ryan had asked and towed Tilly’s four-wheel drive to his mechanic shop in town to be repaired, but that was only the beginning of it. Not long after, the town sergeant had stopped by to pick up his motorbike and the old Landcruiser had caught his eye. Apparently some bloke in the Northern Territory had reported that his vehicle, also an older model Landcruiser, had been stolen. Sergeant Fuller checked all the details and worked out that it was the four-wheel drive Tilly had been driving.
Ryan couldn’t really think about it right now, not until he’d had a chance to talk with Tilly. Which he’d have to do as soon as possible because Ben had warned him Sergeant Fuller intended to head out to Heartsong in the next couple of hours. Ryan wasn’t overly shocked—his gut instincts told him that the story behind Tilly’s bruises ran very deep. He was more concerned the news might have led the bloke Tilly was running from straight to her. How she would react to that, he hadn’t a clue. His sister’s words rang loud in his head, ‘Just stay the hell out of it or you’ll make matters worse …’
As he strode into the kitchen the conversation stopped and four sets of eyes met his. He tried to smile. ‘Hey there, you lot, I could hear the laughter from the front door. You want to let me in on the joke or is it a secret?’ Without pulling up a chair, he grabbed a piece of his mum’s famous pineapple cake and took a huge bite. He needed something to distract him, his concern for Tilly and how she was going to take what he had to tell her growing by the second.
Peter Hunter acknowledged his son with a grin, raising his bushy salt and pepper eyebrows. ‘I was just telling Tilly about the time you were worried our pet sheep were too cold so you went out and lit a fire for them in a ten-gallon drum.’
Jake exploded into a fit of laughter. ‘It was hilarious. I can still remember the smell of their singed wool.’ He pointed at Ryan. ‘You were so upset you almost cried.’
‘Oh fair go, I was only twelve.’
‘Thank God your father caught you, otherwise we would have had charcoaled sheep on our hands,’ Lisa said, smiling.
Ryan shrugged, his smile playful. ‘I was just trying to be thoughtful.’
Matilda fought to keep a straight face. ‘That was very kind of you, Ryan.’
‘Yeah, well, I think so.’ He wiped the cake crumbs from his lips.
‘Take a seat, Ryan, you’re making the place look messy.’ Lisa pulled the chair out beside her and patted it.
‘Sorry, Mum, we can’t stay. I’ve got to get the truck back into town. The bloke that’s filling in for me is going on his maiden voyage early tomorrow morning and the boss needs to service it beforehand.’
‘Oh, what a shame you have to run off, we were having so much fun chatting.’ Lisa turned her attention to Matilda. ‘You’re welcome to hang around for a little while longer if you like, Tilly. I have an appointment in town at lunchtime but I’m free until then. I can drop you back home on the way past.’
Oh, no. Ryan thought quickly then jumped in before Tilly had a chance to answer. ‘No can do, Mum. I need Tilly to drive the Landcruiser into town and pick me up.’
Good save.
‘Sure, I can do that.’ Tilly shrugged casually. ‘Sorry, but I’ll take a raincheck, Lisa.’
‘No worries, love. We’ll have plenty of time to hang out together seeing as you’re living next door now.’
‘I’ll look forward to it.’
Ryan walked to the sink and filled a glass of water from the tap. ‘I told you you’d both get on like a house on fire.’
Matilda was beaming. ‘You were right.’
He finished sculling his water. Matilda looked so happy, but he was just about to shatter that. He felt like the biggest arsehole on earth. He rinsed the glass and upended it on the sink. ‘You good to go, then?’ He was fighting the urge to take her by the arm and run out of the house. Ben’s words were sinking in and the reality of the situation was hitting hard.
Peter gave him a stern glance over the rim of his coffee cup. ‘Gee whizz, something on fire? At least let the girl finish her tea, Ryan.’
‘No, it’s all good. I’m finished anyway, Peter.’ Tilly could tell something was wrong and they had to get going. ‘Thanks for the yummy cake, Lisa. I have to get the recipe off you.’ She stood and took her plate and cup over to the sink.
‘I’ll do one better. If you don’t have anything to do on Monday morning, call over and I’ll show you how to make one. The boys can have it for smoko. Sound good?’
Tilly wiped the crumbs off her plate and into the sink. ‘Yes, that sounds perfect.’
‘I’m not gonna complain about that,’ Jake said with a cheesy grin. ‘I could eat cake for breakfast, lunch and dinner.’
‘I swear to God you have worms.’ Peter chuckled. ‘You’d eat the bloody arse end of a cow if you could, Jake. Lord knows where you put it all, though.’
‘Oh come on, you two, language please, we have a visitor.’ Lisa gave them both a playful scowl, then turned in her seat. ‘Leave those there, Tilly. I’ll pop them into the dishwasher when I tidy the table up.’
‘You sure?’
‘Positive.’ Lisa noted Ryan glancing at his watch. ‘You two better get moving before Ryan spontaneously combusts all over my new kitchen.’
Ryan gave his mum a quick thankful peck on the cheek and then glanced around the table. ‘Catch you all a bit later on then.’
Peter nodded. ‘Will do.’
‘Oh, sorry, Lisa,’ Matilda said quickly. ‘I just remembered I’m going to meet Greg at the pub on Monday at ten, to see about the barmaid’s job, so I might have to bake the cake with you another time. Sorry.’
‘Oh, no worries at all, love. Jake mentioned you were interested in the job. I hope you get it; you won’t find a better boss than Greg Fuller. He’s a lovely man.’
‘I can vouch for that after being mates with him for close to twenty-two years,’ Peter added.
‘I hope so too.’ Tilly crossed her fingers and smiled.
‘To be honest, after talking with Greg, I’ve got a feeling it’s already yours, if you decide you want it,’ Ryan said.
Matilda’s face lit up like a Christmas tree. ‘Serious?’
‘Sure am. It’s not what you know around these parts, it’s who.’ Ryan shoved his hands in his pockets as he rocked back and forth on his heels.
‘Speaking of the pub …’ Jake went in for another slice of cake. ‘Are you up for a beer on Saturday?’
‘Oh, I dunno.’ Ryan really wanted to go but, as he hadn’t shown his face at the pub since everything went down last year, he was a little uncomfortable with the thought.
‘Come on, bro, it’s been forever since you’ve joined us lot for a night out.’ Jake gave him an understanding smile. ‘Seriously, who cares what people think. Us lot know the truth and that’s all that matters.’
Ryan forced a smile, w
ishing to God he could just get out of there. ‘Righto, count me in, and I’ll see if Ben wants to come along too.’
‘Good, excellent, brilliant.’ Jake was beaming.
‘Exactly my thoughts, Jake,’ Lisa said. She reached out and touched Ryan’s arm. ‘It’ll be good for you to get back to normal, son.’
‘Agreed,’ Peter said a little brusquely.
Ryan noticed Tilly looking at each of them in turn. She was clearly trying to work out what this conversation was all about, but to be honest, he didn’t want her to know just yet. He was about to say something, anything, to change the topic when Jake beat him to it.
‘The boys and I are thinking of heading in a bit earlier than normal too, for a feed.’ He took a bite of his cake and mumbled through it. ‘You’re welcome to come too, Tilly, if you’re prepared to put up with us rowdy lot for the night.’
‘Thanks, Jake, I’ll play it by ear, if that’s okay.’
‘Yep, easy as.’
Ryan could tell from the hint of red on Jake’s cheeks that his brother fancied Tilly, and he was shocked to feel a surge of possessiveness. He threw his arm casually over her shoulder. ‘Right, let’s head then.’
Matilda flashed him a smile. ‘Let’s.’
They had only just finished tying Huckleberry onto the tray of the ute and settled into the cab when Matilda asked, ‘What’s up?’
Ryan revved the Landcruiser to life. ‘A fair bit, actually, and I’m not too sure where to start.’
‘How about you try from the beginning?’
‘Okay.’ Spinning the ute around Ryan headed towards home. ‘I organised for my best mate to tow your four-wheel drive here this morning.’
‘You what?’ Matilda’s voice was shrill as her face drained of colour. ‘Why the heck would you go and do something like that, Ryan?’
Ryan bit back the hurt. ‘Um, to help, why else?’