by Mercy B
Rafeeq was good in any hood that he entered up north and partially in the south thanks to his father’s connects and a few he’d made on his own. He’d already put in the word that he’d be visiting and was ushered inside upon his arrival, angering the people waiting in line.
“Step the fuck back!” the guard yelled as they tried using the window of opportunity to make their way in behind Rafeeq.
Without a look in their direction or second thought of their stress, Rafeeq stepped inside of the dimly lit space and analyzed the setting. He’d previously taken a look at the floor plans and mapped out the three escape routes in case of an emergency. It was habit, one that his father had taught him to practice. It was against their better judgment to enter any establishment without knowing at least two ways to exit if shit went left. In addition, Rafeeq despised small clubs as the one he had entered.
“Thank you.” Her voice was as angelic as the white noises that Reign used to get Kree to sleep at night.
Suddenly, there was urgency in Rafeeq’s movements as he shuffled his way through the crowd and toward the center of the floor where he’d reserved a table for himself. There wasn’t a stage. She wasn’t in front of the crowd. The intimate setting allowed her to sit in the center of the patrons with them wrapped around her, giving her enough space to be seen by everyone and to do her thing.
Hampsher took a second to water her vocal chords, giving Rafeeq enough time to have his seat. When she lifted from recapping and sitting her bottle down, her face paled and cheeks reddened. She wasn’t expecting him. He wasn’t expecting her to be so damned beautiful. Her face was free of makeup, and she was covered in a nude ensemble that paired well with thigh high boots that he had every intention of fucking her in.
“I uh…” she stammered, “I created something special over the last few days. I had every intention to introduce this new piece.” Her eyes were upon his before darting across the crowd again. “But maybe I’ll wait until next time. Something unexpected.” Her eyes returned to Rafeeq.
“Let us hear it,” someone screamed from the crowd.
“Yeah!” Another roared.
Then there was total silence. The entire room blurred as both Rafeeq and Hampsher became lost in the sick trance that they were both fighting hard against falling victim to. Yet, it was the inevitable. It was the meeting place for suffering souls they happened to be in possession of. It was the one place where judgment wasn’t passed, and no sin was greater than the other. It was where the broken went in search of being mended. It was a place Hampsher had avoided.
“Don’t keep the people waiting.” Rafeeq relaxed in his seat as he encouraged her.
Still gazing into his dark brown eyes, Hampsher made the initial stroke of her violin. Soft and deeply infused with emotion, the piece that she began was much different from those she’d ever created. But she was different. Everything was different, and it was all because of the man who stared back into her eyes and demanded the secrets of her heart.
In that moment, she wished him away, closing her eyes and praying that, when she opened them, he would vanish. Yet, he remained. His presence was alarming, threatening the last twenty years Hampsher had spent building the great wall that she was housed behind. With little to no effort, Rafeeq was forcing it to the ground.
The crumbling was frightening for Hampsher, and for once, she feared for her wellbeing. In a split second, she made the most difficult decision she’d ever had to make, deciding to dissolve her existence to protect her mind, heart, sanity, and security. The man before her would be the core of her destruction if she didn’t.
If it’s my heart that you’re after,
Prepare to come back empty-handed.
If it’s my love that you desire,
It’s not to you that I can hand it.
Ewwww. Ewwww. Ewwwwww.
Call off the forces
Warn the troops
You’re demanding something I just can’t give to you.
Be patient, gentle, and kind
Because in time you’ll find
Someone to fill you with bliss
Much more rewarding than this
I’m merely an abyss.
If it’s my heart that you’re after,
Prepare to come back empty-handed.
If it’s my love that you desire,
It’s not to you that I can hand it.
Ewwww. Ewwww. Ewwwwww.
Still fighting to carry myself
Without the weight of someone else
This isn’t a plea for help
Please let me save you from the pain that I’ve always felt…
Continuing to stroke the strings of her violin, Hampsher belted the words of the latest song she’d written. It was unedited and unfinished, but she felt so strongly about the lyrics and was so in the moment that none of it mattered. Even before noticing Rafeeq in the crowd, she’d made plans to introduce it to her fans, feeling as if it was the only way to convey her thoughts and feelings before snipping them completely.
With her eyes closed as she strung, Hampsher allowed herself to become one with her music. The crowd was completely silent as she concluded the piece with a smile on her face and fluttering lids. To finally voice the feelings she’d had over the last few days was a relief.
Immediately, she took a peek in the direction Rafeeq was in, only to find that he’d vanished. Seconds ago, she’d wished him off, but since he was gone, she was plagued by his absence. Choosing not to care instead of falling deeper into unfamiliar territory, Hampsher addressed the crowd, which was in an uproar.
“It’s not quite finished yet. You know how that goes. Maybe I’ll never know what the end sounds like because I’ll never make it there, but this is good for now. My time is up, and I have to leave you guys. Until next time.”
Hampsher’s set was thirty-minutes, and she’d played through every second of it. Gathering her violin and bottled water, she made her way through the crowd, who parted and continued to root for her. Usually, she would head to her dressing room to freshen up before heading home, but she had a feeling that she wouldn’t be alone if she went inside on that particular night. Instead, she passed up the door and headed for the back exit, one she used to avoid people.
The silence of the night was impossible amongst the city of New York. On the way to the train, Hampsher admired the bright city lights and fuss of the night. People were flagging taxis and hitching rides, friends were holding on to their drunken buddies trying to get them home safely, and the city rats were creeping down the streets in search of a late night snack.
Precise per usual, Hampsher stepped down the stained stairwell with her violin in tow. The A train would be arriving within three minutes, which would take her back to her side of town where her night would continue. Nearing the tracks, Hampsher removed her earbuds from the pocket of fanny pack and plugged them into her ear.
It was a habit, even though no music was present. She simply didn’t want to be bothered with the likes of human or unknowingly invite anyone to talk to her. With the task she had ahead, clearing her head and becoming one with her thoughts was important. That process commenced the minute she completed her final song and fled from Natives.
The screeching of the train brought Hampsher to her senses as she stepped forward and took a seat at the back of the cab that she had chosen. It was a preference. She wanted to be able to see everything and everyone. It wasn’t because she was nosey but because she was observant for good reason. As the train increased its speed, darkness covered the cart before a pop of light ignited once again. The flickering of the light brought about new discoveries.
A large figure, jaded with premeditated thoughts, stood a mere inch from Hampsher’s frame. Hovering over her, Rafeeq gazed at the lack of astonishment on her face. No, she hadn’t been expecting him, but she was the least surprised by his persistence. As well, she’d sensed his presence lingering as she descended the stairs and waited for the train.
He’d been watching her
since she exited the club. Hampsher was a very wise girl, noting his presence and keeping her composure as she was hopeful that he would disengage. But that was too much like right, too close to normality, and the two were anything but. They were the same yet completely different.
“Find someone willing to play your game. She isn’t me.”
“Good because I’m not playing games, Hampsher.”
“You’re looking real stalker-ish right now.”
“Women. You don’t know what you want half of the time. On one hand, you want a man that chases your ass down. Yet, when that man finally approaches you, he moving funny. Ya face broke when you opened those pretty eyes and saw that I’d left my spot.”
“Rafeeq…”
“Now, I’m stalking you because I’m giving you what you want from me, which is something you’re too fucking cowardly to admit to?”
“You seem pressed.” Hampsher shrugged.
“Good, because I am.” Rafeeq took the seat across from Hampsher, even though he hadn’t been invited to sit.
Sighing, she felt the need to search her cell for a decent playlist and crank up the volume to drown the sound of her raging heart and lucid thoughts as she stared daggers into Rafeeq’s face. He’d made his stance clear as they passed up the first stop and then the second. He had every intention of riding until Hampsher reached her home.
“I don’t invite strangers over.” Hampsher warned Rafeeq after at least five minutes of silence.
“I was coming whether I was invited or not. I didn’t want to beat you home or have you walking this late alone, so I figured I’d kill two birds with one stone,” he confessed, waving her over and encouraging her to up the volume on her music again. Rafeeq could do without her interjections of his silence because she wasn’t running shit as far as he was concerned.
“Are you always this aggravating?”
“Are you always this talkative?” Rafeeq hissed.
“A question is not an answer to another question.”
“Then stop asking them motherfuckers.”
“My curiosity is heightened. You don’t seem like the type to follow women to an entirely different city, into work, and then home. Busy man, aren’t you?”
He didn’t mumble a single word. He only lifted a hand to rub across his waves before releasing a sigh. Rafeeq couldn’t respond to the questions he was asked because he didn’t have the answers to them himself. He’d questioned his own motives but came up empty handed. All he knew was that the urge to see Hampsher again was potent. And the desire to fill her insides was driving him insane.
Each time she opened her mouth, he fantasized about stuffing it with his dick, teaching her a valuable lesson. Hampsher had a virgin mouth, and Rafeeq wanted to bust her cherry the minute he felt she was prepared, but there were other pressing issues. One being the bulge in his pants that he’d concealed miserably.
“Hmmmm.” Hampsher nodded before tuning back to the sounds of her cell. She knew that she wouldn’t be getting a response from Rafeeq.
Stop after stop, the two watched New Yorkers exit the train as well as step on. Rafeeq became lost within himself, wondering how anyone could live in a city and encounter as many unknown faces in one day. His comfort was hardly ever intact when in situations as the one he was in. He stuck it out for the sake of it.
His sister crossed his mind, and he silently thanked God that she didn’t have to carry the babies to and from, using public transportation. It would worry him to the ends of Earth. Quite frankly, the family wouldn’t allow it, no matter how old and grown she thought she was. It was simply too risky too dangerous, and too damned dirty.
Ten minutes later, Rafeeq rose to his feet without having to showcase his hard on, because thankfully, it had deflated, and he stretched his long limbs. Hampsher didn’t miss the pistol that was shoved into his pants as his shirt slightly rose above his waist. Licking her lips, she allowed her imagination to run wild.
Rafeeq was imminent danger. She knew it, but that didn’t diminish the lust that she maintained for him. Hampsher lived on the edge, sensing the same was for the man standing before her. There weren’t many that she’d encountered of whom she could say the same for.
Instead of standing and taking her place at the automatic door as Rafeeq, Hampsher simply watched. It wasn’t until his large feet came stomping in her direction that she entertained the thought of exiting the train with him. Reaching forward, Rafeeq grabbed her left arm, nearly making her violin fall from the right as he forced her from her seat.
“You’re an adult. Act like it.” He gritted.
Violated in more ways than she even wanted to consider, Hampsher bit the insides of her jaw before sticking her right foot out and tossing her left arm across Rafeeq’s lower half. The unexpected move landed him on his ass as the doors of the train opened to accommodate his fall. They’d made their stop.
Hampsher gripped her violin tighter before exiting the train and stepping over Rafeeq’s long frame. She hadn’t calculated his next move into her equation. Hampsher had expected to walk ahead of him, leaving him to consider what she’d just done, and not be falling to the ground just next to him with her head being caught with his hand just before it hit the steel beneath them. Within the blink of an eye, Rafeeq was breathing down on her, taunting her with his handsome face that was contorted in a freakish way.
“I’m going to fuck some sense into you tonight. Don’t ever pull that shit again!”
Embarrassment and arousal were both fighting for space in Rafeeq’s dome, but anger beat them both. He wasn’t sure what type of weak ass defense class Hampsher had taken or why she’d felt the need to defend herself from someone who was only trying to bring solace to her seemingly hectic life, but it ticked him off.
“Just leave me alone,” Hampsher pleaded. Her eyes prickled and heart expanded to the point that it felt as if she’d explode because of it. “Go home, Rafeeq. You have no business here.”
Deciding not to respond, Rafeeq stood to his feet and helped Hampsher do the same. She still held her violin, which was baffling to him. Hampsher didn’t bat an eye or utter another word. Instead, she took off in the direction of her apartment and prayed that Rafeeq got the message.
As she heard his footsteps behind her, she knew that he hadn’t. Up the steps and out into the streets of Brooklyn, Hampsher began her walk. Unlike other nights where she took the time to wind down and simmer from her show, this one was plagued with confusion and unsolicited regret that she felt in the pit of her stomach. Everything in her head told her not to appear at Rafeeq’s apartment that night, but she couldn’t deny the possibly fatal attraction. It was demanding and undeniable.
Her home was a swift walk from the station, but she usually took a few detours to prolong the journey. With Rafeeq on her tail, she decided against keeping them both waiting for the inevitable and getting him out of her hair so that she could finalize her night with the one task that was left on her list. He wanted to grace her insides, and she had no problems letting him. After that night, he wouldn’t be seeing her again… ever. If there was nothing else Hampsher was skilled at, it was lying low.
Rafeeq’s presence meant trouble for her mind, body and soul. They would all require extensive cleaning after her departure from his life. Hampsher would need to find solace in something other than playing her violin at the club on Friday nights, and she needed to find a way to convince her grandparents to come see her. If not, then she would simply have to give them a story about how she decided to leave the country on some bullshit adventure for a few months. Whatever was required, Rafeeq would be a distant memory after morning.
Upon approaching her apartment, Hampsher removed her keys from her pocket and fumbled until she had the correct set to open the door. Still, Rafeeq stayed less than a step behind her and remained silent. She’d give anything to hear his thoughts. As much as she preferred silence, it was eating her alive at the moment.
Rafeeq had this aura about him that mad
e her sick to her stomach. It somewhat reminded her of her parents. The way he hovered over her like a parent does their child, the way he seemed to take immediate liking to her as a mother did their newborn, and the frustration in his eyes each time she defied him as a father with his son was all too much. Rafeeq embodied the one thing that Hampsher had lacked for most of her life but always desired—the essence of a father—her father. Or maybe it was her sick obsession with wanting a father and a mother that had her looking at this situation much differently. Whatever it was, Hampsher wanted no parts in it. The entire dynamic was too intense to adapt to or deal with, not even for the moment.
She opened the door to her apartment as a gush of wind passed her by. Rafeeq’s quickness was intriguing as he slammed the door shut, placed a hand to Hampsher’s neck, and demanded that she answer one question of his. He’d been wanting to ask it for the duration of the night but held back.
“Did you miss me?” He fished for a response. His hands roamed Hampsher’s body as he removed her clothing.
The desperation in his voice was paralyzing, causing Hampsher to freeze in place. He was breaking every barrier and rebuilding every bridge that she’d burned to isolate herself from human contact. In just over a week, he’d managed to penetrate the thick wall that served as her security.
Who are you? Who sent you? Why are you after me?
Hampsher had a few questions of her own but refused to voice them. That man was such a stranger to her world, yet she felt as if she’d grown old with him in another lifetime. He was nothing short of divine, and she wanted no parts of him. Rafeeq gave her something to feel, which was against every code of conduct in her imaginary book. The shell of a woman that she’d been for years on top of years was comforting beyond explanation, and she wanted nothing to fill her hollowness but death and the reunion she’d imagined with her mother. Still, there the man stood, begging for her to want him and needing her to need him as if he knew a secret that she wasn’t prone to as if missing and desiring something other than death was more appealing. It wasn’t. It never had been to Hampsher.