I dropped my jaw. But I kind of knew why he was so upset. It didn’t all have to do with his head. It had to do with his car. A few weeks ago, I saw it parked out in the school parking lot and I couldn’t resist. I knew where he kept his keys. ‘Cause he’s a creature of habit. They were under his right front tire.
So...I moved his car. Just parked it on the other side of the parking lot is all. But I guess he freaked when he went to his Jeep’s parking spot and it wasn’t there. He thought someone stole it. He called the police and everything. I guess he was pretty embarrassed when it turned out to be only a few rows down. I guess a lot of people laughed at him. And I guess he figured out it was me that moved it.
And now he was cursing me out. Big time. Calling me horrible, filthy names. I mean, nasty, nasty, nasty.
All of a sudden, out of nowhere, Gage was on him. He threw Seth against the lockers and started pounding on him.
"Gage stop!" I yelled, but he was out of control. Poor stunned Seth was bleeding all over the place.
A teacher came by, Mr. Whirly. He tried breaking up the fight and almost got his nose broke. “Office. Now!” he shouted, his face beet red and his shirttails hanging out.
I stood there against the wall, watching Gage and Seth go, wondering if I should follow, tell what happened. But I didn’t. Instead I went to my next class.
CHAPTER 14
After school today, I got a strange phone call from Emma Lutz. Or it might have just seemed strange ‘cause when she called I was taking a nap. And at first I was confused and thought it was early in the morning.
Still, no matter what, it was strange that she called. I mean we were close friends—once. But it was a long time ago. Back when we were in grade school. Back when all it took to be friends was to live near each other and own a bike.
Now it seemed the only time we even spoke was when she got a case of the “Old Times,” like the other day when she had it in her ditzy-dyed-black head that Gage had “declared his love” to me. She ate lunch with Izzie and me that day as though she did it on a regular basis. Which she didn’t. Ever.
But I guess that lunch got her thinking we were dear friends, ‘cause she called out of nowhere to diss me out. And you have to feel pretty confident you’re friends with someone to think you can do that.
But, in my head, it was too early in the morning for Emma’s chirping. It made the hairs on my arm stand on end. “Not that you care,” she said, “but Gage got suspended for fighting today.”
I furrowed my brow. “Serious?”
“Yep. For three days. And guess what else.”
I squeezed my eyes shut. It was too early for Emma. “What?”
“Addison dumped him.”
I cringed. “Really?”
“Well, yeah. Can you really blame her, though? It was like Gage was begging her to do it. First he tells the whole school you’re the most important person in his life, then he gets in a fist fight over you. What do you expect?” Emma went on, “So now what, Michaela? It’s your move. Are you—his best friend—going to let him wallow all alone?”
I clinched my jaw. This was so none of her business. Still, I tried not to growl, “Emma, I’m asleep. But thanks for all the cheerful news.”
I hung up, and rolled over in bed, wanting to catch some more Z’s. Actual sleep was hard for me to come by these days. But now I was wound up. I couldn’t sleep.
Was it my fault Addison and Gage broke up? No...only, I guess, in a way, yeah. Addison was so insecure about her relationship with Gage. And insecure about my relationship with Gage. Face it, the girl was insecure. But I had to admit, I wouldn’t want my boyfriend saying some other girl was the most important person in his life. And I wouldn’t want him to get in a fight for some other girl just because a jerk started bashing insults. I mean, he made Seth bleed.
But was that stuff my fault? Was it my fault Gage didn’t know how to treat his girlfriend? Okay, I sort of hoped, yes.
I got out of bed, staring out the window at Gage’s house. I ate my Cocoa Puffs, staring out the window at Gage’s house. I rinsed my bowl and spoon and put them into the dishwasher, all the while, staring at Gage’s house. Then I sat at the kitchen table, doing nothing—just staring at Gage’s house.
Finally, he came outside. He had a bucket and sponge with him. He was going to wash his car. I walked diagonally across the street, to where he stood, unraveling the knots in his garden hose. He flicked a quick look up at me, then continued working.
I folded my arms, watching him a moment, kind of knowing what I wanted to say, but not knowing if I could get the words out. “I heard Addison broke up with you.”
He raised his eyebrows, still concentrating on the hose. “News travels fast.”
I looked down at the ground, at his shoes. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, well, I’m sorry too,” he said. “Sorry I told you to back off.” He stared up at me. “Michaela, do you get it? I’m sorry.”
I nodded, feeling tears in my eyes. “I know. It’s just …” Grrr! I was going to cry. “You hurt me,” I choked.
“Michaela …”
He went to put his arms around me, but I backed away. “You can’t help me with this.”
I ran back across the street.
***
It was kind of painful and awful to go to first period every morning and see Gage’s empty seat. I felt guilty. And awful.
“How’s Gage doing?” I asked Gage’s drummer, Conner, catching up to him after third. As usual, he had his girlfriend, Raven, in tow.
“Michaela!” Conner smiled, his eyes lighting up, looking pleased to see me. Which was, of course, sweet. Conner was a good guy. “How have you been?” he asked. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in a long time.”
That’s because he hadn’t. Conner used to be one of my closest friends—next to Gage and Izzie. But now that he and Raven were together, he sort of ditched me. Or Raven made him ditch me. Or whatever. But I wasn’t sure Conner even realized I’d been ditched. Guys have a way of being clueless.
Raven stood off to the side of us, looking impatient, staring up at the ceiling. I tried ignoring her. I don’t do well with my friend’s girlfriends, apparently. They all hate me. That’s okay, though. I don’t care too much for any of them, either.
“Yeah, I miss you,” I told him. “But how’s Gage? Is he okay?”
Conner shook his head with a sad smile. “The dude’s down. You need to talk to him.”
I bit my lip, nodding. Hearing this from Conner was so different than hearing it from Emma, like, it Mattered. “I know.”
Raven pulled Conner’s arm, tugging him away. “Come on. We’re going to be late.”
“See ya,” he called to me over his shoulder.
Right.
***
So, Gage stuff was bad, as usual. But Logan stuff was good. Really good. He was like, incredibly into me. It was weird, but awesome. Sadly, I had to work, like every day. But he would come with me. And help. I mean, he would hang up clothes, straighten racks, whatever needed to be done. Hot turn on!
And during my breaks, we would hang out in the food court and talk, and I’d look into his eyes, and get all goose-bumpy, and think, “Wow!”
I was jazzed for the dance, super excited. But this morning—Friday morning—the day of the dance—no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get my car started. I swore unintelligible profanities at it as I explored my options. Mom was at work, Izzie had already left by now, the school bus was long gone, if I used my magic, I’d have ghouls at my door—nope. I had no options. I swore again, turning the ignition key and pumping the gas pedal with all my might.
“You know that does no good, right?”
Shock! I looked up to find Gage was standing at my car door, smiling. “All that pumping—it just floods your engine.”
“Duh. I know,” I grumbled. “But pumping—it makes me feel like I’m doing something useful.”
“As long as you know you
’re not.”
I couldn’t really look up at him, but it was so good to see him, good to know his suspension was finally over, that he’d be back in school. That his seat wouldn’t be empty anymore.
“So do you want a ride?”
I wet my lips, still not able to look up at him. “I’m surprised you haven’t left already.”
“I was waiting for you,” he said. “So, do you want a ride?—or are you planning on staying home and watching soap operas?”
I grabbed my backpack and headed for his car. “Are you coming?”
He smiled. “Right behind you.”
We talked a little in the car, on the way to school, but then Gage didn’t take me to school. He drove past it.
“Hey, what are you doing?” I asked, watching out the window as we passed the school. “I know it’s been a couple days since you’ve been there, but that was our school. Back there.” When he just kept driving, I asked it again, “What are you doing?”
“We’re going to talk,” he said. “Because we haven’t done that in a long time. Not since...I kissed you.”
Oh! He said it. Out loud. He kissed me.
“I don’t want to talk.” My eyes were already welling with tears. I grabbed on to the door handle, wanting to hop out, run away, but Gage sped up, not down.
“You don’t have to talk,” Gage said. “Just listen. Okay? Just give me a chance to explain. Because there’s an explanation. It’s just kind of complicated. That day at Pikes—when I said back off—”
Just hearing those words again brought new tears to my eyes. I clutched the door handle tighter, not planning to jump or anything drastic like that. I just wasn’t able to let go.
“I didn’t mean it,” he said. “Or I kind of meant it, but only because it was after I kissed you and all of the sudden I was really confused. I mean, you were my friend—my best friend. Only, suddenly I wasn’t seeing you just as a friend—and it had me really messed up. I mean, I’ve taken great effort our whole friendship to make sure I didn’t cross a line—because crossing that line.… It screws up friendships.”
I looked out the window, clenching my jaw. “No kidding.”
He glanced over at me. “Yeah.”
Gage parked his car out in this abandoned field, out in the middle of nowhere.
I bit my lip, nervous that this was happening, we were talking. Going to be honest. Maybe.
“Where are we?” I asked, just to say something.
“Um, I’m not sure,” Gage said distractedly. “But when I said—what I said—it was just because I was scared. Man, I was terrified. I couldn’t just think of you as a friend anymore. You weren’t just a friend. Suddenly you were everything.” Gage laid his head against the steering wheel, gazing up into my eyes. “I was scared, Michaela. Don’t you understand? Suddenly, you had all this power over me. I mean, you could blow me away. And you did, Michaela. After I kissed you—you avoided me.”
Feeling tears come to my eyes, I looked away. Yeah, after his kiss I avoided him. But he avoided me too. And he wasn’t the only one scared. I’d been scared. But I didn’t tell him to Back Off or not crowd me. I’d never do that. Not to him.
After a moment of us sitting in silence, me trying not to cry, gazing out the side window, Gage staring straight ahead, he finally went on, giving me quick glances as he spoke, “And then Logan bought you that dress. And I don’t know—I just needed...I don’t know—space. Time to think. To get a grip. But nothing’s changed. Not really. I’ve had all this time—all this space—but I still can’t think of you as just a friend. And seeing you with Logan—it kills me.”
Hearing all this, Gage pouring out his heart, filled me with warmth and a comfort I don’t think I’d ever had, not in a long time. Finally, I felt like maybe everything would be okay, maybe even better than okay. Almost all of the knots in my stomach, they all went away. I didn’t really have time to dwell on my feelings though, or bask in giddy happiness, because just then, Logan came pulling up into the field. Logan!
Gage shook his head. “Great,” he muttered.
All I could do was stare in wonder. My jaw was probably hanging open. How did Logan find us? How did he know we were here?
Logan got out of his car and shot over to us. He looked mad, but seemed to be trying to stay calm. “When you didn’t show up at school this morning, I was worried. I came looking for you.”
He seemed to be answering the question I didn’t actually ask.
I smiled, a little. Or I tried to smile. “You found me.”
He nodded tersely. “Yeah. So, you want me to take you to school?”
“Uh,” I felt awkward. And trapped. Gage had just told me how hard it was for him to see me with Logan. And now I was going to hop in the car with Logan?—leave Gage alone? Hurting?
I didn’t know what to do. I wasn’t used to this kind of situation, at all. I was torn. I liked them both. So much. I didn’t want to hurt either of them. But, technically, Logan was my boyfriend, and I could tell he was mad, super mad, even though he was trying to act like he wasn’t.
But his jaw was clinched, and there was a vain in his neck, throbbing.
Basically, he was furious.
So, without saying anything comprehensible, I started to get out of Gage’s car. But Gage put his hand on the crook of my arm, silently stopping me from leaving. Surprised, I turned back to him, stirred as he gazed into my eyes. In silence he leaned into me. Tingles ran through my body as he whispered in my ear, “Don’t back off.”
CHAPTER 15
I got into Logan’s car on shaky feet, wondering why he had to show up now. It wasn’t that I wasn’t glad to see him exactly. Or that I wasn’t flattered that he’d come looking for me. I was. Sorta. On both counts. Only, Gage and I were having a moment. A magical moment. And I’d wanted it to go on, forever. I never wanted it to end.
Finally Gage had said things I’d only dreamed of him saying. Finally it seemed as though maybe we would get together. Finally! But then, drat it! Out of nowhere—Logan!
Geez!
Logan’s eyes were drinking me in. He didn’t look mad anymore. I’d made the decision he’d wanted. He won. He looked happy about that.
“I missed you,” he said. And suddenly his arms were around me and we were kissing and it was good, felt good. But I kept thinking about Gage. “Don’t back off,” he’d whispered. Don’t back off.
***
Tonight Izzie came over to help me get ready for the dance. The dance! Hurray! Finally! It was hard for me to sit still while Izzie worked her magic on me, making me dance-date worthy. The dance! I did a little dance myself every time I thought about it. Only, I wasn’t quite as jazzed about it as I’d been earlier. Before today. Before Gage told me, “Don’t back off.”
But, still, I was excited to be going. And excited I was going with Logan...sort of. Only, now there was Gage drifting through my mind too, big time. Gage who it killed to see me with Logan. Gage with his tender, sweet kisses.
No! I wouldn’t think about Gage. Not tonight. Tonight I only wanted to think about Logan. My date.
But tomorrow—tomorrow I’d think about Gage. Definitely. All day long. Forever and ever.
When Izzie was done with my make-up and hair, she handed me a mirror. She watched me look into it, smiling. “Not bad, huh?”
My jaw practically dropped. She had me looking like a model. No joke. I was gorgeous! I stood admiring myself in Summer’s full-length mirror. “You made me pretty.”
“What are you talking about?” Izzie mocked indignation. “I made you beautiful.”
I grinned, still staring at myself. “Yeah.”
When Logan came to pick me up he looked so hot I about melted. “Nice tux,” I said. He raised his eyebrows. “Nice dress.”
I did a little curtsey. “Thanks—for the compliment and the dress.”
He grinned. “Good investment.”
Izzie had us pose for pictures. Then she snapped off about a hundred. They were for B
eth so I endured. Not that I didn’t secretly want every one of them anyway, but Beth was a good excuse.
Of course, Beth had wanted to be home tonight. She had cried, “I wanted to take pictures of you going to your first dance.” But she had to go out of town on business. She couldn’t get out of it. I was really touched, though, that she wanted to, that she tried. I felt bad that I’d given her such short notice. I didn’t know it was going to be such a big deal to her.
When Izzie was finished with our photo shoot, she left with a parting message, “Ravish him,” she whispered in my ear, then added, “and give me details in the morning.”
I nodded, planning to do half of that at least. I wasn’t sure I’d actually give her details.
Then Logan had me slide my arm through his and we were off to the dance.
“Don’t you have a sister?” Logan asked, as he helped me into his car.
“No,” I wanted to say, wished I could say. But instead I just corrected him. “Half. I have a half-sister. Summer—do you know her?”
Logan looked kind of unsure for a moment, then he shook his head.
“Well, she knows you,” wanted to pop out of my mouth. But I held it back. I didn’t want to talk about Summer. I didn’t even want to think about Summer.
“I was just wondering where she was,” Logan said.
“She’s double dating with her friend, Sara.” I smoothed down my dress, trying to make it a little longer than it actually was. “Sara’s super rich,” I babbled on, just ‘cause I was nervous. “So Summer practically lives at her house. I think she pretends it’s her house. And that she doesn’t have a sister.”
Logan grinned. “Half sister.”
“Right.” I was silent for a moment, but then, of course, I babbled on, “But it seems weird that we’re even that—half-sisters. Half-way related. Summer and I, we’re completely different. It’s like we’re from two different worlds.”
Logan glanced over at me when I said that, and we almost hit a bus.
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