by Ryan, Syd
The bathroom is so glamorous, the only thing missing is the attendant. I wish I’d snuck my wine in here.
I had to leave the table; this is too much for me. I can’t handle all these feelings. That is why I love my one-and-done rule. I have no time for this shit, and seeing Gavin threw me off my game tonight.
I check my phone and freshen up my lipstick. The pale pink doesn’t last as long as some of the others. The door opens. “I forgot to lock it, give me a second and I will be out.” I hear the lock click. What the fuck? As I pop my head around to see who is in here, Gavin walks up to me.
“This is a women’s restroom, what are you doing in here?”
Gavin pushes me up against the wall and spreads my legs apart. “What are you doing here with him, Jamie?” He doesn’t give me a chance to explain. “Are you fucking him?”
“I don’t have to explain myself to you.”
“Answer my fucking question, Jamie.”
“Have we slept together, yes we have. Are we sleeping together now? No, I haven’t been with him for about a month. He just wanted us to become more than friends with benefits, I told him no, as if it is any of your business.”
“You are my fucking business. Was he there yesterday, when you had a shit day? No. I was, Jamie. I would do it all over again without any fucking questions. I will tell you this, the thought of him fucking touching you makes me want to kill him.” Gavin moves in closer to me. “Jamie, tell me. Does he make you fucking wet by just barely touching your body? Does he make your nipples hard like my hand does, barely brushing them? Does he make you scream when you come? No, I’m telling you now he will never try to do those things to you. Do you understand me? I’m the person that does those things to you, Jamie.” Gavin gives me slow kisses down my neck. “Do you want me to do those things to you now?”
I nod.
“I need your words, Jamie. Tell me you want to scream my name and I will do it right here.
My underwear would be soaked if I were wearing more than a thong. “Gavin, make me come.” Gavin kisses me deeply and puts his hand under my dress. He teases me with his hands. I want them in my pussy, but he is everywhere else. “Please, Gavin,” I say, praying the begging will get me everywhere.
He moves my dress up higher, suggesting that I hold onto it. He rips off my thong and places it in his pocket. He puts a finger in me. “Fuck, you're soaked. I really want to fuck you in those heels, believe me when I tell you this, I will fuck you in those heels. Instead, I’m going to take you on another ride. Stand tight, this is a ride that will end in you screaming my name.”
I pull my dress up to my waist as Gavin places a leg over his shoulder. He nibbles on the inside of my thigh. “Gavin...fucking get there.” He chuckles at my impatience. “Yes, ma’am.” He places his tongue on my holy center. He goes to town as if this is his last prayer. When I’m about to orgasm, he inserts two fingers in a come hither motion, finding my G-spot. For fuck's sake, did he learn that at school? As I’m getting ready to ask him, my orgasm shoots off like fucking Fourth of July fireworks. The sensation is so intense, I practically black out standing up. My legs begin to shake uncontrollably, and he firmly holds me against the wall.
I have had a lot of sex—fun sex, wild sex and even a little bit of kinky sex—but the orgasm Gavin just gave me has thrown me off my game. The experience told me a few things. One is that jealousy fueled him to do things he typically wouldn’t do. Mr. Rodgers doesn’t want any man touching me or fucking me. Gavin likes control, and that move on the chessboard shows me who is in charge. He is making it really fucking hard for me to keep my distance, especially when he deserves the Olympic medal in oral sex with that last orgasm.
Gavin gives me a couple of minutes to get myself together. I’m wiped out from the orgasm, utterly exhausted. He tilts my chin up so I’m looking at him. “I want you to taste what I just did. He kisses me just enough for me to taste myself and remember what he just did for me. Believe me, I do not need any memory prompts. I will not forget that anytime soon.
I brush my hand across his cock, which is standing at full attention. It feels hard as steel. “Jamie, if you touch my dick like that two more times I will be coming in my pants like a man in a mid-life crisis that has not had sex in the last year. I don’t need you to reciprocate. I want you to walk out of here and have ‘Chris’ take you home. He is to walk you to your door and stop right there. Jamie, he can walk into your apartment to check it out, and that is it. I’m barely holding it together, so he and his dick better go home without touching you. I can tell you this, I will not be in control of my actions if he fucking touches you. Do. You. Understand. Me?”
I nod, shocked that Gavin really has this in him. It is an enormous fucking turn on. “I need your fucking words, Jamie.”
I want to give him a spiel about how no one controls me or touches me unless I give the okay, this is not the time to have that discussion. “I understand.”
He smooths out my dress and kisses me lightly on the cheek. “I should have said this sooner, but you look absolutely beautiful tonight. Next time I see these shoes I will see them from behind as I fuck you, Jamie.” Gavin straightens himself up and begins to walk out the door, but I stop him.
“Hey, who is that guy with you tonight?”
“Just a family friend, he was best friends with my dad.” He winks at me and walks out the door like the fat cat that just ate the canary.
I double check my appearance in the mirror, making sure that I’m intact. I don’t want to walk out of the restroom looking like I had the best oral sex of my life. Usually that doesn’t bother me, but I can’t stand the thought of hurting Chris’s feelings. He has been good to me, and we really have an honest friendship. A friendship I’m not deserving of, but one I appreciate nonetheless. I also don’t want to make things difficult with Grayson and Regan over Chris.
I join Chris at the bar, and Gavin’s eyes are on me. I give him a little nod letting him know we are on the same train of thought. I was so caught up in everything that happened, I didn’t realize Gavin is wearing a suit tonight: a navy blue suit and white dress shirt with a yellow tie. The suit fits every hard plane of his body. I know I would enjoy taking it off of him piece by piece. His hair has that wild look, courtesy of my hands having been in it, which I have no guilt about.
“Damn, Jamie. I thought I was going to have to bust the door down,” Chris says. I pray that he did not see Gavin walk out of there. Please. Please don’t let that happen.
A woman is sitting next to Chris, her legs on full display. She has a short blond bob, reminding me of a call girl. She moves closer to Chris and, from the way she is responding, I would guess that they have been chatting it up at the bar.“Are you ready to leave?”
“Yes...sure.”
Chris whispers in the blonde’s ear. When we get to the car, he opens the door for me, and I get settled into the seat, waiting for the other shoe to fall. “What is going on with you and Gavin?”
Fuck, I don’t want to have this discussion. I can’t even freaking explain it to myself. “Umm...why?”
“Well, to start off, when he saw me with you I could tell he wanted to beat my ass. Also, I saw him follow you into the restroom. Are you fucking him?”
I’m thoroughly pissed now. “Don’t go and get all territorial over me. No, I’m not fucking him. He is the anger management therapist assigned to the group I have been required to attend. We are coworkers.”
“You are so full of shit if you believe nothing is going on between the two of you. The way he looks at you, he wants more than a quick fuck. He is looking for a long-term relationship, that guy is not your one-and-done rule. Jamie, you are worth more than that. I wish you could see what everyone else does.”
Chapter 18
I follow the instructions exactly as they were given. Chris thoroughly checks my apartment. I hope that Doug gets the picture.
I make myself a glass of wine and sit back on the couch thinking about the e
vents of the evening. I don’t have a clue how to process it all. Overall, Chris handled it well. I figured he was going to push harder but, after seeing Gavin, he decided to be OK with it. Chris’s behavior spoke volumes because I wasn’t worth the fight for him. I hope that he finds a right woman; one day he will make a great husband. I’m not wife material. I’m the hot girl you fuck in the bathroom at the bar. I prefer it that way.
I sleep better than I have slept since this whole fiasco with Doug started, even though I’m scheduled to work early in the emergency room. I consider 9:00 a.m. early because most nights I end up at the bar. Alcohol and bar sex are incompatible with early work hours. I’m not able to get up not in a morning rush. I make myself an extra strong coffee this morning, taking it black. I want to keep the momentum going for the whole day. I eat a quick bagel and check my email and social media accounts. Julia has sent me a message.
Jamie,
Dad has been gone for four days. He has never been gone this long. I don’t know if he is in trouble, or if he got tired of her. Mom has been high on morphine and Xanax, I couldn’t get a straight answer out of her. I don’t want to ask you for money, but I don’t know what to do. The water bill needs to be paid by 5:00 p.m., or they will be out here to shut it off. The amount is $211.12. I can put my $48.67 toward it. I attached the account info for you. I’m sorry if I was mean to you, but I just feel alone. On my profile is my cell number, if you want to talk or text.
Julia
At least the message I received today wasn’t hateful but, of course, it is money related. I moved around my bills and yet the water bill wasn’t planned. I look at the invoice; the $211.12 bill is for only one month. What the hell? Are they running water twenty-four hours a day?
I can’t leave the kids without running water, for Chrissakes. Well, at work I will be signing up for overtime today. I pay the bill, pissed off. Just when I thought my day was going to be a good one.
Arriving at the E.R., I decide that I have no intention of allowing this to bother me. I have to work twelve hours, and the goal is not to spend my twelve hours being pissed, again thanks to my shitty parents. On a positive note, I can’t wait to speak to my sister. I miss her so much. I need her to know she is doing a great job, and I know how it feels to be a parent as a teenager.
A note is on the outside of my locker, and I’m not sure if I should read or touch it. I hate indecision, so I pick up the note. I don’t believe the note is from Gavin this time the handwriting is unfamiliar. The message is inviting me to lunch. I put it in my locker and get ready for the shift ahead.
The emergency room is not fully staffed at 9:00 a.m. because people are still at home in bed. My assignment is the psych rooms, which means I will be seeing Gavin if he is the on-call for today. The psych area is not one of my favorites because I can’t say, “You are fucking crazy.” Damn...if the shoe fits then wear it.
My favorites are the ones who need to secure their social security money by getting their three admissions in a year’s time. Is there going to be any social security left when I need it? My mom applied for all the kids; the social security office even knew her by name.
Natalia is the night shift nurse who stayed over. A real Russian beauty but a hardass who I find quite endearing.
“I’m so ready to get out of here before I join the crazies.”
I giggle. “How was your night overall?”
“Beds have been full in the psych unit, so we are transferring patients to other hospitals. Are you ready?”
“Yep, go for it.”
“The gentleman in Room Twenty-Eight has a history of borderline personality disorder. I had no problems with him until we took his personal belongings and put him in the hospital gown. He made a couple of death threats. He has been assessed, and we are waiting for a transfer. We have a sedative order for when it gets closer to transport.” The patient is glancing around the room, talking up a shit storm to himself.
“The woman in Room Twenty-Nine is in for a suicide attempt. She believes the world is going to end. She attempted to put herself out of her misery first.”
“How did she attempt it?”
Natalia shakes her head. “She took a bunch of Tylenol. We are monitoring her liver every six hours until a bed is available. She appears to be sleeping at the moment. Hopefully, it will last a long time.
“The elderly woman in Room Thirty is confused as shit. She mixed a bunch of meds up and is off the hook. I have a sitter with her. She was recently diagnosed with dementia and is progressing fast. She is cute as a button, nice but batshit crazy. The sitter has her hands full with her. She offered her the walker, and she knocked it across the room. I overheard her telling the sitter that she is thirty-two and doesn’t need a damn walker. I get the feeling the shift is going to be a long one.
“In Room Thirty-One is a homeless veteran. History of drug use since he served in the Iraq war. He got addicted to black tar heroin and has been chasing it ever since. He went through his money for the month and is now in withdrawal. He is begging not to be transferred to the veteran’s hospital.” The hospital he will be going to will have him go through withdrawal without any medication. The hospital’s stance is they don’t want people thinking it is a place to lay up at when their money is gone. I can tell he is going to be my weak spot for the shift. I watched my mom go through withdrawal, and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
“Anything else before you head out?” Man...this is going to be a shift from hell.
“Sorry, it was a full moon last night.” Now, that explains why the shift is going to be rough today.
“Who is on for psych services?”
“Gavin Rodgers is on call until eleven o’clock tonight, he went on call at seven o’clock this morning. I have a call in for him to come see the patients in Thirty and Thirty-One. Don’t look so glum, Jamie, I will be back at seven o’clock this evening, and my suffering will continue.”
“Natalia, get your red-headed ass home.”
I left my coffee in the locker room and realize my day desperately needs it after that report. Madison and McKenzie are in the staff lounge, and I take a deep breath as I enter. I pay them no attention and go to my locker. Listening to their conversation because I can, I overhear some great news. My contact with the recruiter paid off. They will be requesting a leave of absence today at Human Resources. I‘m so excited, and Regan will be delighted by this information. She is coming in at 11:00 a.m. I text her and tell her to come see me when she gets in. My day is looking better and better.
The elderly lady’s sitter is looking exhausted, so I make her patient my first stop. “Elouise, Good morning. Would you like to order some breakfast today?” The sitter sneaks out of the room.
“Yes, I would love some coffee today. I was busy getting dick all night.”
I choke on my coffee, spitting it out everywhere. I could have heard her wrong.
“Can you repeat that for me?”
This gray-haired woman reminds me of Estelle on The Golden Girls. I could see the spunk in her before she even spoke. She rolls her eyes at me. “I was busy getting dick all night. A girl has needs. Most of the night it felt more like hide and seek. He didn’t know how to use it, and it was smaller than a used-up pencil.”
The laughter rolled out of me. I love this little old lady and aspire to be like her when I’m old. She lies down on the bed and opens her legs wide. Now she has a reason for a medical admission. Her uterus is falling out of her vagina. I help shut her legs. “Elouise, let’s find a doctor to check you out.” The sitter took off, and my guess is that he will not be back.
I wave Jason from anger management over. “The companion ran, I need you posted outside her door until I get her transferred to medical.”
I go and check on the veteran, and he is sweating up a storm. “Hi, I’m Jamie, the nurse on for the day shift.”
“Please help me, Jamie. I can’t take this, I need some dope. My stomach will not stop cramping, my legs ache like
a toothache, and I can’t sleep.”
I want to tell him welcome to opiate withdrawal, motherfucker. “According to the scale, I can give you two milligrams of Morphine IVP and a quarter milligram of Ativan by mouth. I will dispense you some Clonidine, Bentyl for cramping, and Zofran for nausea. Do you think you can eat some chocolate?”
“Wow...you are the nicest nurse. Any other nurse would have given me some Bentyl and left.”
I couldn’t explain to him that I’ve watched someone I lived with go through this. “Don’t get too excited, the transfer to the veteran’s hospital is still going to happen. I don’t have the power to stop it, it’s the hospital protocol when psych beds are full. I will be back with the meds in a few minutes.”
I gather up the meds and get my withdrawal patient settled. I have to get out of the room. I can’t stand listening to him begging to stay here. I think one of the worst things about working in the hospital is the politics involved.
The unit clerk pages Gavin to the emergency room. I go to the bathroom and freshen up, making sure I look presentable. I add some bright red lipstick, hoping to throw Gavin off his game. I hurry and make sure the two other patients, who Gavin doesn’t have to see, are comfortable. Still waiting for word about the transfer, I check in with case management and get no definite answer.
I put some orders in the computer for my patients, adding a medical consult for Elouise. Looking down the hallway, I see Erin, the director, coming in my direction. Shit, I’ve got to get away from her real quick. I slide my chair to the other part of the nursing station.
Erin greets me. “Jamie, just the person I want to see. Can I have a few minutes of your time?”
“Well.”
“Jamie, I will only be taking a few moments of your day, come with me.”
Fuck, I’m getting fired. I was two minutes late the other day. I knew she was going to call me out on it. But I haven’t said shit to Madison and Mckenzie.
“I just wanted to check in with you. How is anger management going?”