Worthy

by Ryan, Syd

  “I need to figure a few things out before I can tell them how to proceed.”

  “I’ve got a plan to help you get your car fixed.”

  “Gavin, I’m not taking your money. Don’t even think about it. I’m not playing with you, mister.”

  “I knew you were going to say that. I talked with Jared, he has a plan to get your car fixed with only you paying for parts.” Now it sounds too good to be true. “Jared teaches a class at the joint vocational school. He is in charge of auto mechanics. Gold Dust is old enough and meets the requirements, assuming you’re okay with it. I know you do not allow just anyone to work on her, but this is a great option, and you could afford it. I can’t make you do it, but you could always take the money and pay me back.” Gavin said that just to get me aggravated. “Oh...and usually a job at the shop may take a day or two, but the vocational school may take two or three weeks.”

  “I don’t know if I can be without a car that long. With the money I would spend on a rental, it won’t be any cheaper than paying full price for the repairs.”

  “Jamie...just have Jared’s class fix your car. I have an extra car you can use, and I’m sure Regan will help you out if you need it.”

  “OK, that will work for me. Please give Jared the OK and thank him for me. Oh...tell him to take care of my baby.”

  Gavin appears to be speechless and texts Jared about the car. Hopefully, Gold Dust’s motor isn’t fried. I can easily get another 75,000 miles out of her. This is just another thing on my plate and, at the end of the day, I don’t know how much more I can handle.

  Looking for a distraction, I get our lunches ready at the bar in the kitchen. The dining room is too formal for us but perfect for a family of five. Gavin picked up a light lunch for us to enjoy, knowing we’ll be spending the rest of the day by the pool. I grab a couple of waters and take our salads out to the pool. Gavin joins me after calling Jared to make arrangements for Gold Dust.

  “Lunch looks good,” I say. “I’m starved.”

  “I’m starved for something other than this lunch.”

  “What would that happen to be?”

  “I’m starved to see you in a bikini.”

  “I think you are in luck, I plan to be getting into one shortly.” I give Gavin a wink with a saucy look, giving him a little glimpse of my sexiness.

  “I’m looking forward to that. Jared will be starting on Gold Dust tomorrow.”

  “I’m nervous about this, Gavin. I can’t afford to get a new car right now.”

  “Jamie, Jared is a good guy. He will not charge you a lot of money, and if he can’t fix it, he won’t charge you. Everything will work out the way it is supposed to. Don’t worry about things that are out of your control.” If Gavin only knew that is my life story: worrying about people and things that are out of my control.

  We enjoy our light lunch and spend most of the day outside by the pool. I brought my hot pink bikini and left the see-through temptations at home. Our afternoon consists of lots of comfortable silences and no complaints. I drift off to sleep for fifteen minutes here and there. I have plenty of time to decompress from the stress of the last few days. One thing has remained constant, and it is the sexual tension between us. I caught Gavin looking at me a few times. The looks ranged from sweetness to adoration to lust. Mostly lust. I have no problem taking it all in.

  The frustration puts my thoughts into a different wheelhouse. My body wants him to take me six fucking ways from Sunday and again on the holiest day of the week. My body’s response is fuck me now. But I know, realistically, that is not the answer. A lot more goes into this decision than a quick fuck and my one-and-done rule. We have developed a friendship that I don’t want to lose. Gavin has accepted me as I am and has not asked anything of me that I wasn’t willing or able to give. Telling the truth about my shitty family speaks volumes about the trust I have given him. His support means so much to me. I don’t want to fuck it up between us.

  Then we have a day like today, and I look at him and feel like he is too good for me. Gavin deserves more than I’m capable of giving him, and he still wants me. On so many levels, it completely floors me.

  All these thoughts come to me as I lie on the pool lounger. Gavin swims effortlessly in the pool. The sight leaves me speechless as the water drips slowly down his body. He looks over at me, and I put my head down like a kid caught in the candy jar. Gavin is the sweetest piece of candy in the jar. The part you keep saving because you don’t want it to go away. Then the temptation becomes too much, so you unwrap it slowly. The piece before you looks so delicious you don’t know where to start. Do you shove the whole piece in your mouth, hard and fast? Do you eat it in one bite, or do you eat it slowly? Do you want to savor it so much that you hope it doesn’t melt? Gavin is the piece I have been saving and waiting for. The epic question remains: do I deserve him?

  Gavin distracts me from my thoughts. He has a talent for doing that at the moment when I need it the most. I have no problem admitting that Gavin is the perfect distraction, and it’s more than just his beautiful body.

  “I think we should go in, you are starting to pink up a bit,” Gavin says. He always puts others before himself.

  “We can’t have that, can we? My golden skin is one of my best assets.”

  Gavin gets out of the pool and walks toward the lounger. I can tell he’s feeling ornery but the mischief in the eyes. I jump off the lounger and start running. “Young lady, haven’t you been told not to run around the pool?”

  I start laughing and pick up speed getting away from him. “I hate to inform you, I don’t follow rules all that well.” I get closer to the patio doors and, just as I’m about to walk in, Gavin stops me. He backs me up and pins me to the door. “I think I like dirty girls that don’t follow the rules. I like providing correction. How dirty are you, Jamie?” The lust level just went up a few notches.

  “For some reason, I want to be a filthy girl.”

  Gavin gently moves his fingertips from my bikini top down the center of my body. He breathes his desire in my ear, getting me more turned on. His hand continues to move down till it lightly touches my pussy. “We will pick this up later.” He steps away and opens the patio door.

  I think, what the fuck was that? He is enjoying being a damn tease. I’m all hot and bothered and ready to fuck. I think this little stunt was to teach me a lesson. The lesson is that we will be doing this on his terms. He wants me to want it so bad that nothing will stop us from being together. I admit...I’m much closer than I anticipated.

  Disappointment flowed through my body when Gavin stopped what was happening between us. I felt his craving for me bright as the day. His cock was hard against my thigh. He demonstrated excellent self-control. I think he wanted me to want him as much as he wants me. The truth be told, I want him more than any guy I have fucked in a long time. But I have so much more invested in Gavin, and that scares me more than I want to admit. I need to come up with a plan to get him out of my head. If not, it is about to be a very long evening.

  “What do you want to do the rest of the evening?” I yell to Gavin down the hallway. Maybe I got him all hot and bothered. Hopefully, I got him so turned on he had to go and jack off. He needs a release so desperately that his fist is the only answer. I close my eyes and imagine the sight. Gavin would be naked in the shower. He squirts some conditioner in his hand and moves it up his long, hard dick. The head is swollen, leaking precum. His strokes are hard and fast, in a punishing rhythm. He’s jerking himself with one hand and tugging at his balls with the other. He whispers “fuck,” “now,” and “Jamie.” He picks up the pace, racing to get the relief he needs and wants. Finally, he gets to the point of release as long spurts of cum land on his stomach. The orgasm isn’t nearly enough as he yells my name. He wants more and needs more, so his dick gets hard and he does it all over again.

  Coming out of my fantasy, I repeat, “What do you want to do the rest of the evening?” but Gavin doesn’t respond. Walking down
the hallway, I hear he is in the shower. I use all my self-control to keep from checking to see if my fantasy is in action.

  I walk back to the living room and call Regan to check in with her. The phone rings a few times before she picks up. I hope I didn’t wake her up.

  “Hey, James.”

  “What’s up, mama to be? How are you feeling?”

  “Today is one of my better days.”

  “I need to be distracted from fucking Gavin. Do you think you are able to go out to dinner without being sick?”

  “I can take some nausea medicine before we leave. But I can’t go anywhere near a seafood restaurant. Where do you want to go?”

  “Let’s do simple and go to York’s Steakhouse.”

  “I should have no problems eating there, does eight o’clock work for you?”

  “Perfect. I haven’t asked Gavin yet, but it should be fine. Oh, I didn’t tell you. Gold Dust’s timing belt went out. I pray it can be repaired.”

  “Jamie, you work full time. There is no reason you can’t afford to take on a car payment and get something better.”

  I can’t tell her over the phone about my family. That’s a discussion we need to have in person. I pray she doesn’t think I deceived her on purpose. God knows I need my best friend. I also realize that I need to tell the truth.

  “Hopefully, it all works out for the best.”

  “OK, well if Gavin is not on board just call me back. We will tell these boys to fuck off and go out and enjoy a great meal by ourselves.”

  “Regan?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I know...I do not say it enough, but thanks for being my best friend. I do not have a clue where I would be without you in my life.”

  “Sure thing...bitch. See ya at eight o’clock.”

  I end the call hopeful my best friend will always be my go-to girl.

  Gavin joins me in the living room, freshly showered.

  “In a hurry for a shower, I see.”

  “I had to get the grime from the pool off of me.”

  “OK...if that is the story you want to tell.”

  “There is no story to tell, Jamie.”

  “So, let me get this right. You get me turned on, like eight out of ten, and abruptly stop it. That dick of yours is rock hard, and you disappear into the shower. I’m not judging. I hope you got some relief. Of course, the relief would be better if it were from me.” I scoot closer to him. I want him to hear clearly what I’m about to tell him. “Do you want to know what I was thinking about?” I run my hand up and down his thigh in a languid motion. “I was imagining you jerking off in the bathroom. Fighting yourself to the end to get the relief you needed. My imagination went away with it, so much it takes everything in me not to drop to my knees and suck your dick into oblivion.”

  Gavin looks like a deer in headlights.

  “Please tell me I’m not wrong. I shouldn’t be denied the way your body responds to the temptation of my body. If it were me, I would be spread out on my bed. I would use my vibrator on my clit and pussy to get myself off as many times as I needed to get the job done. I would be thinking about your dick and what it could do to me. I would stop at nothing to make sure I got off. Unfortunately, I didn’t bring my vibrator with me. How do you think I should handle this? Go to your bedroom and use my hand or climb into the shower and use your Titanium 4000 between my legs?”

  “I know how we can solve this problem. I think you are a dirty girl, and I like your thinking.” Gavin tells me a short story about his masturbating in the shower after the leaving the pool. As he tells me the story, he fingers my clit to ecstasy, not stopping until I yell out his name. Gavin just one-upped me in the game we play. I’m not sure I would have it any other way.

  Chapter 23

  I was not expecting the distraction that Gavin has given me, but I’ve enjoyed it nonetheless. I glance at the clock. I didn’t realize it was 5:00 p.m. “Do you want to go out to dinner tonight with Regan and Grayson?”

  “Sure...what time are we meeting them? I assume you set it all up.”

  “I thought we could have a late dinner around eight at York’s Steakhouse. Regan is pregnant, and she can’t handle seafood. She just found out she’s pregnant a couple of days ago.”

  “I’m sure it will be great for them.” I see sadness in his eyes. Maybe it stems from his longing to be a dad one day.

  I start to get into my feelings, thinking it is never going to be with me. I have so much baggage that no one would want me. I’m a lot of fun for Gavin right now, but down the road is a whole other picture. I need to get out of my feelings and quick.

  “Regan is going to be a great mom. I’m going to be the mommy’s best friend who buys all the inappropriate toys to make her life hell. I honestly can’t wait.”

  Gavin gives me a sweet, earnest smile that gets the butterflies going on in my stomach.

  “I need to stop at my apartment and get ready if that is okay with you. I didn’t bring any clothes other than some loungewear and my bathing suit.”

  “We can stop only on one condition. I want you to come back after dinner tonight. I want you to spend the night with me.”

  “Are you sure? I have to work tomorrow at 9:00 a.m. I can get a ride to work with Regan tomorrow.”

  “I wouldn’t have it any other way. I will make sure you get to work in the morning.” His eyes sparkle with happiness. I can tell that I made the right decision; the only question is whether I will regret it later.

  Gavin gets ready faster than I could ever manage. Guys have it so much easier getting ready for an evening out. He is smart enough to leave enough time for me to get dressed at my apartment. I plan ahead and shower at his house before we go. Then I sit on the couch waiting for him, and the sight before my eyes doesn’t disappoint. He is wearing a white dress shirt rolled up on his forearms with black dress pants that fit him like a glove. It takes all my willpower not to grab his ass. Gavin left his day-old scruff, and this is the part that tests my self-control the most. I love a fucking man with scruff on his face. I love how it feels on my face, neck, and especially between my thighs. I want to fuck this man, and if it wouldn’t keep my best friend waiting, that’s exactly what I would be doing.

  “Gavin, we need to head out.” I’m sure he picks up on the lust in my voice.

  “Sure, everything alright?” He has a little smirk on his face.

  “Everything is fucking peachy, Gavin.”

  He chuckles as we head to the garage. He opens the door for me, like the gentlemen he is, and even this gets on my nerves.

  When we reach my apartment, Gavin insists on doing a thorough check before I go in, although we’re confident we diverted Doug’s attention elsewhere. Karmen is more than a handful for him. Hopefully, he can handle the Domme in her. Gavin settles in by getting himself a beer out of the fridge.

  “I’m going to get ready, make yourself at home. Well, the best you can with my unpacked mess.”

  “Go ahead and get ready. By the way, Jamie, you know you will have to deal with this and soon.” As I walk back to my bedroom, I yell at him. “I know. I still want to move out of here. I’m going to start looking.’” I don’t want to tell him that I might not be able to afford to move because of my parents and their fucked-up mess.

  I should not have showered at Gavin’s house. Unfortunately, that left no time to use my vibrator before my evening out. I will carry this sexual frustration with me the rest of the evening.

  I have a ton of clothes and can’t commit to wearing any of them. My hair styling consists of keeping my wild curls in place—the humidity is not my friend. I apply a healthy amount of moisturizer all over my body because the sun took a toll on it today. I put my makeup on in less than ten minutes, wanting to go for a simple look. Choosing my lipstick is the most time-consuming part; I can’t decide between a sultry red or a soft pink gloss.

  I hear Gavin moving around in my living room, and I can tell he is getting antsy. “I think it will take abou
t fifteen minutes to get to the steakhouse, you about ready?”

  “I just need to put my dress and shoes on. The hard work is already done.” His silence confirms that he gets it.

  I don’t want to wear anything tight tonight, and that eliminates about half of what’s in my closet. Hey, if you’ve got it flaunt it like the sexual beast you are. There is nothing wrong with owning your sexuality and letting the world know I’ve got this. I pull on the dark gray maxi dress I got off the rack at Nordstrom. It is floor length with adjustable spaghetti straps. My favorite part of the dress is the two side slash pockets. I love being able to keep my hands busy.

  My nails are polished bright hot pink with sparkles. My heels are the focus of every dress I wear. I think my legs are my best feature, and the heels put the emphasis on my favorite asset. I decide to pair my dress with my Jimmy Choo’s Romy Silver Coarse Glitter Pointy Toe Pump. My most comfortable shoe? Hell no, but one of the sexiest—that’s for damn sure. I want every guy to look at me and want to fuck me in my heels. If the heels do not warrant that type of reaction, I guarantee you they will be sold.

  My jewelry is simple but elegant with diamond post earrings and a matching bracelet. The final addition is my purse. I pick a Saffiano leather envelope clutch that I got from Saks Fifth Avenue. I switch purses, and I couldn’t be more ready for an evening out on the town, even if it is with a pregnant woman.

  As I enter the living room, Gavin jumps to his feet. “Jamie, you look beautiful.” He looks at me adoringly. Yes, I love to be noticed, desired, and fucked, but taking compliments has never been easy for me. I can feel the heat rising in my cheeks.

  “I think you clean up quite well yourself, Mr. Rodgers.”