Chapter Nine
Emily spent the next day in a melancholy mood. She was snippy with everyone, and she moped most of the day.
At one point Rebecca sighed in exasperation. “What is with you today? You are behaving like a pouting child. Has something happened? You aren’t still brooding about what happened with Jamie, are you?”
“No, it’s not that. I’m sorry; I know I’m behaving badly. It’s not fair to everyone else for me to act like this when it’s no one’s fault but mine.”
“Well, we have this party to think about and we can’t be moping around when we need to start feeling festive. Now, are all the invitations out and are all the preparations made for this party?”
“Yes, everything should be perfect. Sarah has a great menu of finger foods planned. The doors to all the rooms will be open for guests to mingle around everywhere. There will be trays of food sitting around on various tables in all the rooms. The bartender will be setting up in the formal dining room. This guy knows how to make any drink you can think of. Everything should be set. We are ready!”
“Good. This is going to be fun. I hope you enjoy this party as much as I always do.”
Emily tried to improve her mood for the rest of the day. On the outside, she was more cheerful, but on the inside she was still sad about Patrick. She was getting way too attached to him and it was going to cause her nothing but heartache.
That night, after dinner, she went down to the rocks a little apprehensively. She was a little embarrassed about the night before. She had probably shown her feelings a little too much. He must think she was daft. But she really wanted to see him, so she walked on down to the rocks.
He wasn’t there! She looked around for him, knowing that he was good at sneaking up behind her. No Patrick. She sat there for a long time waiting and hoping he would show up. After a couple of hours, she was convinced he wasn’t coming. She guessed she had scared him off last night. She felt miserable.
She went back up to the house and wandered around, not knowing what to do with herself. Seeing Patrick had been something to look forward to lately. Now she didn’t know what she would do to amuse herself.
She decided that she would go downstairs and explore the storage room a little more. She started sorting through all the trunks and chests. There sure was a lot of stuff down here. Then she found something...a journal! She took it upstairs to her room and started reading. She realized that this journal belonged to the person that the letters had been written to.
September 10, 1850
Today I went to her. I have tried and tried to stop. I know it’s forbidden, but her body drives me to insanity. She begs me to come to her and I can’t resist. If we are ever discovered, it could be devastating to so many people. She doesn’t belong to me. For so many reasons, our love is wrong. I’m not even sure I love her. I know I can’t stay away from her, but is it love or obsession? Should I go on a long journey and only return after she is gone? How would I explain it to my family?
There were many entries and Emily read until the wee hours of the morning so she could finish the journal. There was a lot of unhappiness in this journal. It was clear that the author was feeling a great deal of guilt. The last entry was intriguing because it corresponded with the last love letter she had read.
October 29, 1850
What has she done?! I dare not speak of it even in this journal. I am at my wit’s end. This is the worst thing that could have happened. I am devastated by what she has done. I mourn for both of them! What is going to become of us all?
She had to find out what this was about! Something had happened over 150 years ago and she had no idea what it was. Tomorrow evening, she was going to the library and research this house. Surely there was a record of what had happened if it was something of this import!
Exhausted, she fell asleep.
* * *
She awoke with a start. She had heard something. She glanced at the clock…it was only three, which meant she had only been asleep for about 15 minutes. She glanced toward her door. Someone had slipped something underneath. That was strange. Who would have been up at this hour and why would they slip something under the door? Maybe it was Jamie trying to make up.
She walked over to the door and saw that whatever was on the floor was between two pieces of cardboard taped together. She slit the tape holding the cardboard together with her fingernail. Inside was the picture Patrick had sketched of her. She was once again struck by the beauty of the woman portrayed in the picture. Emily knew she wasn’t that beautiful, but it still looked like her.
How had Patrick gotten into the house? It was three o’clock in the morning and he was wondering around someone else’s property. And what game was he trying to play? First he wants to draw her, then he does something tender like touching her face, and finally he tells her, basically, to get lost. Now this. He had to be the strangest man she had ever met. What mysterious skeletons might be in his closet to make him act so strangely?
She propped the picture up on her dresser. Patrick was a very talented artist. She wondered why he didn’t show his work, not for money but for the recognition he deserved. And why did he always steer away from any conversation that asked questions about his life? Had his heart been broken? Had he lost someone he loved? She could relate to that. She had loved her husband deeply, although he wasn’t necessarily an exciting person. But he had been a stable, steady person. And he had loved her. If Patrick had lost someone, why couldn’t he talk to her about it, since she was sure to understand how he felt? Or if he had some deep, dark secret, she wanted him to talk to her about it. Maybe it was just because they hadn’t known each other long enough. She was bad about trusting and confiding long before she knew people well enough. She was just too trusting. And too easily involved with people.
She went to the window which overlooked the garden. Looking toward the path down to the cliff, she wondered if Patrick was there now. If she knew he was, she would go to him. But the likelihood of that was small. He must have just sneaked in somehow and put the picture under the door, then went back out and back home.
‘I wonder how he knew which room I was in?’ she thought.
She finally went back to bed after pacing for about 20 minutes. It didn’t take her long to fall asleep because she was exhausted. She dreamed again. This time she saw a hand writing in a journal, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t see the person’s face.
Chapter Ten
Once again, Emily woke up feeling as if she hadn’t rested at all.
‘This is getting to be a habit,’ she thought. ‘I need to take a sleeping pill or something tonight and zonk out for about eight hours!’
She still wasn’t going to abandon her workout. That would just make her feel more lethargic for the rest of the day. She went downstairs and, once again, missed Jamie. He was doing a good job of ignoring her. Well, if that’s the way he wanted to act, then so be it. She wasn’t going to worry about it anymore.
Emily did her cardio workout on the treadmill, then she worked out with weights. She had worked up a good sweat. Things were a little harder today since she was so tired, but afterwards she felt a whole lot better.
She ate breakfast with Sam and then went upstairs to start her day. Casper and Jake followed her up the stairs and lay down at her feet when she sat down at her desk to work. She took off her shoes and rubbed their furry backs with her feet. Somehow that had a calming effect and she started feeling even better. There was nothing like a couple of furry friends to make life seem a little less stressful.
Rebecca raised her eyebrows at her. “My dogs certainly have taken a liking to you. I think I’m a little jealous.”
Emily grinned. “They just know I need some affection sometimes. That’s the only way I’ll get any.”
“Well, from what I remember from a previous conversation, Jamie was willing to give you all the affection you need,” Rebecca teased.
“Don’t remind me. It’s not th
at I don’t like Jamie. He’s really a great guy. It’s just that…it’s not there, you know? That spark that needs to be there to really have a great relationship. Do you think I’m expecting too much out of a relationship?”
“No, I don’t. If the spark is not there, then the relationship will get boring. I understand exactly how you feel. You know, Emily, I can’t help but feel that there is someone that you do have that spark with. It seems that you go from being happy to being sad, and that’s usually the sign of infatuation with someone that may not feel the same way about you. It’s not Sam, is it?”
Emily laughed. “Not a chance! Don’t get me wrong, I think Sam is great and a wonderful guy to be a friend with. But he’s just not deep enough for me. He’s happy go lucky all the time and that just doesn’t appeal to me.”
“But you haven’t had a chance to meet anyone else have you? The only times you’ve been away from this house were with Jamie or me. And yet, the signs are all there. Have you been sneaking around, seeing someone?”
Emily blushed. “Why would you ask that? Why would I sneak around? You’re just imagining things. I’m just moody sometimes and I’m still adjusting to my new life. Just give me time. I’ll be alright.”
Rebecca looked unconvinced, but didn’t pursue the matter. They got back to work and were busy until five o’clock. They had dinner, and Jamie was once again ignoring her. She decided she had had enough and excused herself from the table. She went down to her usual after dinner retreat, hoping to see Patrick. She was earlier than usual, so she didn’t worry too much about it when she saw that he wasn’t there. But after awhile, she was beginning to believe he wasn’t going to show up. She waited a couple more hours, and then disconsolately walked back to the house. This was two days in a row that he hadn’t come. She wondered if he just considered her a nuisance and decided to go somewhere else to draw. But, then, why did he want to draw the picture of her? She was so confused by this man.
She decided she would go exploring again. For some reason, this was the only thing that took her mind off her hurt feelings. She went downstairs to the storage room and started rummaging through things again. She looked at the silver ring on her finger and wondered if it belonged to the person who wrote the love letters. Wouldn’t that be fascinating if that was the case? That was probably too much of a stretch. She delved further into all the old treasures, trying to find more clues about the writers of the letters and journal. It was odd about the journal. Men didn’t usually keep journals. But maybe they did 150 years ago.
Suddenly, she noticed that behind a large privacy screen was another door. That was strange; she didn’t realize this room opened into another room. She opened the door and flipped up the light switch. The room was full of objects covered in cloth. Fascinated, she pulled the cloth off of one of them. There was a beautiful painting of the ocean with the sun rising off the water. She took off another and saw a painting of the water with a rocky shore in the foreground. This looked exactly like the place she met Patrick! Obviously, someone who used to live in this house was a wonderful artist.
When she pulled the cloth off the next one, she gasped in shock. This was a portrait of a beautiful blond woman with pink upturned lips and light blue eyes. She looked child-like and yet knowing at the same time. But the shock was not her face, but her hand. On the ring finger on her left hand was a little silver ring with entwined hearts. Her heart started beating faster. This woman had worn the very ring that she now wore on her finger. This had to be the writer of the love letters. She was so intrigued now that she felt like she had to share this with someone. Her first thought was Patrick. Would he be as intrigued as she was? Or would he be indifferent to the whole thing? Anyway, he hadn’t shown up for the past two nights, so she couldn’t even count on seeing him again. She would tell Rebecca.
She hurried up three flights of stairs to Rebecca’s sitting room. The dogs were there lounging by the fireplace. They looked up and wagged their tails as she came in.
“Rebecca, you will not believe what I have found!”
She told her everything she had seen. She was so excited, she spoke rapidly. She was nearly out of breath by the time she finished telling her story.
“Why in the world am I writing about dragons and wizards?” asked Rebecca, amused. “I have a perfect mystery right here in my house.”
“Are you making fun of me?” asked Emily with a smile.
“No, it’s just great to see you so excited. I do love a mystery. Tomorrow, you ought to do that research you were going to do.”
“That’s right, I forgot about that. I need to look and see if I can find something about the terrible thing that the journal and letters were talking about. You know, I think I’ll start right now.”
Emily went down to the library and starting looking through books. She looked and read until her eyes started burning. She didn’t find anything that she was looking for. She felt a little let down, but maybe she would find something later. This was proving to be an interesting mystery.
She decided that she would go back down to the rocks. It was late, eleven o’clock, but she wanted to go where she felt at peace. She pulled on a jacket, knowing that it would be chilly tonight. When she got down to the shore, she sat on one of the rocks and looked out over the ocean. There was a half moon, so there was a little bit of light.
“It’s very dangerous for a young woman to be out late at night,” said a voice behind her.
She let out a little yelp and jumped up from the rock, turning toward the voice. It was Patrick!
“What are you doing out this late?” she gasped.
“The same thing you are doing, I suppose. Trying to find a little peace and solitude.”
“You weren’t here last night or this evening!” she said accusingly. She cringed at how it sounded.
“Do you believe, somehow, that I have nothing else to do but meet you here every evening? Do you think my life revolves around seeing you here?”
Tears sprang to her eyes.
“Why are you so mean to me? Don’t you care about my feelings at all?”
His face softened in the moonlight. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I feel as if I have to be cruel to you so much of the time.”
“I don’t know why, either. One minute I think you like me and the next minute I feel like you’re repulsed by my presence. I don’t know what to think.”
“Emily, I do like you. You just have to understand that it’s complicated. There are things that you don’t know about me, and it would be wise not to get too close to me. If I keep you at arm’s length, it’s because I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“If you’re trying to keep me from getting too close, then why do you do things that would make me want to be closer to you? Why did you hold my hand while we were sitting on the rocks for so long? And why did you touch my face and make my legs feel like they were made of Jello? Why do these things, then turn me away? ”
He sighed and looked away from her. “Sometimes I just can’t help myself. You are beautiful and I feel like you are someone I would like to know. But I can’t.”
Feeling bold, she walked over to him, put her hand behind his head and drew his face down to hers. Just as their lips almost touched, he pulled back.
“No, Emily. No. This cannot be. There are reasons that you could not even begin to understand. Please believe me when I say I am very sorry that it has to be this way. Another time, another place….we could be close to each other. But not here, not now.”
He turned and walked away from her. She watched him go down the shore until he disappeared from sight. She sat down on a rock, put her face in her hands and sobbed. She realized that she had started falling in love with him the first time she saw him. She had never believed in love at first sight. She used to be so rational, so sane. And now she was in love with a man she barely knew and her heart was breaking into a million pieces. She also realized that she had been so hurt during their conversation tonight, that she didn
’t even get a chance to ask him about sneaking into the house and giving her the picture!
She sat there for a long time, feeling miserable and lost. What was she going to do now? One thing she knew for sure. If she was to keep her sanity, she couldn’t come down here anymore. The only way to get over Patrick was to stop seeing him. So she resolved to stay away from this place until she was completely over him. Maybe it wouldn’t be too hard to get over him. After all, she hadn’t known him that long. She would be fine. So she dried her tears, went back to the house and fell asleep with a dry pillow.
Chapter Eleven
Emily got through the next few days in a haze. She was quiet and withdrawn, but at least she wasn’t snippy this time. Just sad. Instead of questioning her, everyone just sort of looked at her oddly and said nothing. She was probably acting unapproachable, but she didn’t care; she was miserable and she wanted to wallow in it for just a few days.
She didn’t go back down to the rocks and gradually she started feeling a little better. By the time the day of the party rolled around, she felt like maybe she could enjoy herself a little bit.
“No working upstairs today!” announced Rebecca after breakfast. “Today is party day and we are going to play all day. Everybody can do whatever they want today; we just all need to be sure to give ourselves plenty of time this evening to get the finishing touches put on everything and to get dressed up for the party. We are going to start receiving guests at seven.”
Even Emily started feeling a little festive. She was actually looking forward to this party. Maybe she would meet some new, interesting people.
A Rocky Path Page 5