“Patrick, I really want to know more about you. I know so little about the times you lived in and the different things that you went through in your life. I don’t necessarily mean what happened to you in the end. I mean the good things that happened, too. What your childhood was like, that kind of thing.”
He sighed. “It was so long ago that sometimes I feel everything that happened in my life happened to someone else. I came from a wealthy family. I had a happy childhood. My sister and I were always close, having no neighbors nearby. We rode horses, played hide and seek…you know, children probably weren’t that different then than they are now. We didn’t have video games, of course.”
“What about your parents? Were you close?
“Yes, I was especially close to my father,” he said sadly.
“I guess it was hard on you, knowing what your father had done. Especially since the two of you were so close.”
Patrick looked at her sadly. “I really felt more betrayed by my father than I did by my fiancée. I didn’t understand how he could possibly have done such a thing to me.”
“Here I was, wanting to know more about the happy times in your life, and then I brought up what your father did. I guess when it comes down to it, that’s what’s hanging over you and, since I love you so much, it’s hanging over me, too.”
“Let’s spend the first part of the day talking about other things. We have the evening to worry about the rest of it.”
“Ok, I still want to know more about you. For instance, was your personality very different than it is now? Or did you change in the last 150 years?”
Patrick seemed to think for a minute, then said, “I was really quite a hot head back then. My temper flared pretty easily, but then I was over it quickly. Over the last 150 years, I have mellowed out a lot, but I really showed my temper when I ripped apart everything in the cave. That shocked me as much as it did you. I don’t know why I was thinking so unreasonably about things. I should have given you more credit. I guess everything that happened with Bridgett just came back to me. I don’t think it was as much anger as it was fear and grief, thinking you had abandoned me. But here we are talking about bad things again!”
“We keep coming back to things we don’t want to discuss. Maybe we are both just dark.”
He reached for her and pulled her into his arms. He kissed her slowly and tenderly until she was breathless. This man could make her feel so loved and needed!
He raised his head and looked at her. “I thought, since we couldn’t seem to keep talking about pleasant things, we ought to just do some pleasant things.”
“That sounds like a good idea to me,” murmured Emily.
He kissed her again, this time a little harder. His arms tightened around her as he explored the sweetness of her mouth. She felt like she was floating on a cloud of delight, and she never wanted it to end. Dizzy with desire, she pressed her body against his, feeling like she wanted to just melt into him. His hand traveled up her leg to the inside of her thigh. She let out a little gasp as he touched her between her thighs, his hand hot as if it were on fire. Suddenly, she couldn’t breath. She gasped for air, thrashing against him. He pulled back quickly and stood up, pulling her up with him. Slowly, she was able to breathe again, first taking in shallow breaths, then deeper ones.
Patrick then gathered her into his arms, murmuring softly against her hair. “I’m so sorry, Emily. I didn’t mean to. I would be devastated if I hurt you. But we keep doing this!”
She pulled away slightly and looked up at him. She could see tears glinting in his eyes.
“It’s as much my fault as yours,” she said softly. “I know the consequences as well as you do.”
“Emily, I can’t live like this.” He laughed ruefully. “What am I saying? I’m not living at all!”
“I can’t live like this, either,” she admitted. “It’s just too hard. I know that we can never get married and have a relationship like other couples do. I know that we have no future. And I know that we have to find a way to send you back. I have to be resigned to that. I’ll feel like my world is ending if you go, but I know there’s no way we can really be together if you stay. So the best thing is for us to get you home.”
“I know, Emily. I will be glad to go to Heaven after roaming the earth for 150 years. You are the only thing worth staying for. But I know, like you do, that being together would be impossible. Sooner or later, I would kill you.”
“So, are you ready to hear my idea?”
“No, not yet. Let’s just spend some fun time together. Forget what’s going to happen. Let’s have that picnic lunch, then just go play. We can pretend that we have all the time in the world to be together. We can be just like children without a care in the world for just a few hours. Are you willing to do that?”
Emily smiled. “Yes, I think that’s the best idea I’ve heard for awhile. Let’s just have fun for awhile.”
And that’s exactly what they did.
Chapter Thirty Two
Late afternoon brought colder temperatures, and the two lovers retreated to the cave. They built a fire and Patrick heated some water in a metal teapot on a makeshift rack over the blaze.
“What are you doing?” she asked curiously.
“Making tea, of course,” he said with a grin.
“Making tea? That’s awfully domestic of you. What is that you’re setting the pot on?”
“It’s a piece of grating I found.”
“You are so resourceful,” she teased. “What kind of tea do you have? And where do you get all this stuff?”
“Earl Grey. And I told you before, I have my ways.”
They sat down on the blanket and enjoyed the warmth of the tea. The whole scene was almost like a dream that she never wanted to awaken from. But she knew cold reality would encroach upon them.
“Patrick, we need to talk about what I want to do.”
“Your idea? I guess it’s time to find out what you’re talking about.”
“One day when I was visiting Sarah Stone, she told me about an encounter she had with a ghost. She had fallen in love with him. He was also roaming the earth like you are. He didn’t know who his killer was and couldn’t go home until he discovered the killer’s identity. This ghost was able to take Sarah’s hand and show her the past. When she saw everything that had happened when he was killed, she was able to see the killer that had come up behind John and stabbed him. So then she read about it and found out who the killer was. It was actually a case of mistaken identity. The wrong person was murdered. But after he had knowledge of the killer, he was able to let go of this world and go on. I was hoping that you would be able to show me what happened at that time of your death.”
Patrick looked at her incredulously. “I had no idea something like that would work. Are you sure that she was telling you the truth?”
“Now what reason would she possibly have to lie to me? Patrick, I think it’s worth a try.”
“I’m willing to try if you want to do this. Are you sure this is something that you want?”
“Don’t you want to?”
“Of course I do. Just don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t work. Promise?”
“Sure. I’ve already resigned myself to that possibility.”
“Then let’s do it!” he said.
He took her hand and kissed it softly. Then he turned her hand over and ran his tongue slowly across her palm. Then he squeezed her hand lightly.
“Are you ready?” he asked.
“Yes,” she whispered.
She was trembling slightly, a little afraid of what they were going to do. She looked up at him and he smiled at her.
“Here we go.”
* * *
Suddenly, she felt like she was tumbling into a vortex, and it took her breath away. It seemed that the earth had disappeared from beneath her feet and there was nothing to stop her from falling forever. Then she was standing in the hallway of a house that was very familiar. Although the d
écor had changed, she could tell it was Rebecca’s house. Patrick’s house.
She started down the hallway, moving as if she was in a dream. Her feet seemed to carry her forward of their own accord. She stopped at the door of a room where she heard sounds coming from inside. The door opened slowly, and she could see two bodies intertwined on the bed. She stood watching, fascinated. The man was an older version of Patrick, still handsome, but more refined. His hair was cut shorter and he looked a little more aristocratic. She recognized the blond from the painting. It was Bridgett. The two people on the bed were kissing and touching as only lovers do. Finally, Emily turned away. She couldn’t watch anymore.
She was then transported to another scene. It must have been right after Patrick had walked in on the two lovers, because Bridgett was facing Patrick, the buttons on her dress crooked as if she had buttoned it hastily. The two were in the library, and Patrick was pouring himself a drink. It looked like maybe it wasn’t the first one he had downed since walking out of Bridgett’s room.
“Please, Patrick, at least look at me,” she was pleading.
He slammed his hand down on a desk hard enough to rattle a glass paperweight that was resting there.
“If I look at you, I might kill you!” he said contemptuously. “I can’t stand the sight of you.”
“You don’t understand!” she cried.
“Understand? I don’t understand? That’s right, I don’t. It would have been bad enough if it had been just another man. But my own father? Do you see how perverted that is?”
“Patrick, I couldn’t help myself. The first time he came to me, I was shocked. But the things he did to me, the things he made me feel….”
“I don’t want to hear this! It’s disgusting and unnatural. My father!”
“I tried to stop. I really did. But I couldn’t. We couldn’t stay away from each other. I love you, Patrick, I never stopped. But I love him too. I didn’t want to give up either one of you. I couldn’t choose!”
She was sobbing now, pleading with him to understand. His face was stony, and there was no way he was giving in to her pleading. His hands trembled as he took a drink. Emily couldn’t tell if it was from grief or barely controlled anger.
“Get out of my sight!” he shouted.
She ran from the room, weeping uncontrollably. Emily watched Patrick as he threw the glass across the room. It shattered against the stone fireplace.
Next, Emily found herself down by the rocks where she and Patrick had spent so much time. She felt her stomach clinch up, knowing that, more than likely, she was about to witness Patrick’s death. She didn’t know if she could handle that or not.
Patrick was looking out toward the water. Bridgett came slowly and tentatively down the steps toward him. He turned as he heard her coming, and then turned back away.
She stood beside him. “Please, Patrick, we need to talk about this. I love you and I don’t want to lose you!”
He looked at her with contempt. “It’s too late for that. I don’t want anything else to do with you, Bridgett. Now you need to leave.”
“No,” she shouted. “You are going to listen to me!”
He turned to her. “I’m warning you, Bridgett. You need to get out of my sight before I lose my temper.”
“I’m not going anywhere until you listen to me!”
She grabbed his arm and he shook her off, sending her sprawling onto the ground. She jumped up and rushed toward him, slapping him in the face. He pushed her and she fell again. A little afraid now, she turned toward the higher rocks and climbed up them.
“Now, please listen to me. I’ll stay right here and you stay down there and we will talk.”
Paying no attention to what she was saying, he hurried up the rocks after her. He grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her slightly, and she slapped him again. She had apparently pushed him too far because he hit her in the face with the back of his hand. She started losing her balance, so she grabbed for him, trying to stop her fall. As she clutched at his arm, it threw him off balance and he started to fall. She let go of him and jumped back, but it was too late for Patrick. He balanced precariously for a moment, and then he fell off the rock, hitting his head on the side before he tumbled into the water. Bridgett screamed as he went down, but there was nothing she could do. She looked at him in the water, blood pouring from his head wound. She sank to her knees sobbing. Then there were people everywhere, some pulling Patrick from the water, some trying to help Bridgett. But Emily knew the outcome of this scene. She knew Patrick was dead.
Chapter Thirty Three
Emily came back to the present more quickly than she had left it. She looked at Patrick, and he was looking back at her expectantly.
“Well?” he asked.
She hesitated. “Could you not see any of it?”
“No, I didn’t see anything.”
She said, “Patrick, I don’t know how to tell you this. It was an accident, but it was partly your fault.”
She related to him everything she had seen. She didn’t leave anything out, believing that he had a right to know the whole truth. When she was finished, Patrick’s face was white and he was shaking.
“I hit her? I can’t believe I did that. Why can’t I remember? That’s not the person I was. I might have been a hot head, but I would never have hit a woman.”
“Patrick, I saw it all. I know that’s what happened. But you can’t blame yourself completely. She slapped you twice. After what you had been through, it’s a wonder you didn’t completely snap and push her off the rocks!”
“Emily, why are you standing so far away from me? Are you afraid of me now?”
She looked at him and said, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t feel that way. It’s just that you were so angry, it scared me a little to see that side of you. That’s the same side of you that tore apart this cave.”
“Emily, I would never hurt you. I still can’t believe I hit Bridgett. But I’m not that man anymore, either. I have matured a lot in the last 150 years, even if I haven’t grown any older.”
Emily only hesitated a moment, then she rushed into Patrick’s arms and buried her head against his chest.
“I know you would never hurt me. And I think Bridgett deserved anything she got! But she didn’t mean for you to fall. She was just acting on instinct, trying to keep herself from falling. It was all an accident. It was a very sad situation for both of you and it ended in a tragedy. But I don’t think either of you meant to hurt each other. It just all got out of hand.”
“So now that I know everything, nothing is chaining me to this world. Except you. I don’t know if I can leave you, Emily.”
She looked up at him. “Patrick, we talked about this. You need to go home. We could never be happy together. We couldn’t get married and have a normal relationship. No sex, no kids, no growing old together. So, you see, we have no future together. And you will find ultimate happiness going home to Heaven.”
“How can there be a happy place without you there?”
“It’s a different kind of happiness, Patrick. I promise you that you will find true happiness.”
He said, “What about you, Emily? What about your happiness?”
“I’ll survive. I’m strong. I won’t stand here and tell you that I’ll get over you, but some day it won’t hurt as much as it does right now.”
“You’ll find someone else. It will take time, but that person will be there for you some day. Then you will forget about me.”
Emily touched his face gently. “Never. You will be with me forever. I’ll always feel you right there beside me. I know you’ll be watching over me.”
Emily was still in his arms and he held her even tighter, resting his face against the top of her head. Then he looked down at her, his sapphire eyes glistening with unshed tears. He kissed her gently on the forehead, the tip of her nose, her cheek, her chin, and then her lips. He ran his hands over her back, then up until he took her face into both of his hands. He kissed h
er tenderly over and over, almost as if he was afraid to stop for fear of disappearing.
“Patrick, I love you so much,” she whispered.
“I love you, too, Emily. More than I’ve ever loved a woman.”
He kept kissing her and holding her, desperate not to let her go. Both of them were crying now, knowing the time was near that they would be parted.
“Patrick, I want to go with you,” she said suddenly. “Take me with you.”
He pulled away from her. “Emily! You know I can’t do that. What are you saying?”
“Kill me, Patrick. Please. Just kill me, or let me kill myself so I can go with you.”
“Emily, you don’t know what you’re saying. We’re both grieving right now and you aren’t thinking straight. Please don’t say it again. It’s not right.”
Emily sighed. “I know you’re right. I don’t know what got into me. It was a crazy thing to say. I don’t really want to die. I just want to be with you.”
“Let me go, Emily. Go on with your life, remember me fondly, but let me go.”
Tears were streaming down both their faces, but they were resigned to their fate. They knew they would never be able to be together no matter how much they wanted it.
Patrick kissed her long and deeply one last time before he pulled away. He backed away from her slightly, his face a mask of sadness. She started toward him, but he held his hand out, stopping her.
“Emily, I have to go now. I can feel myself starting to slip away. Everything seems to be a little hazier than it was. And I know there’s no fog out this evening.”
The sun was starting to set and it reminded Emily of the first sunset she and Patrick had watched together. Despair started washing over her as she watched Patrick start to fade slightly.
“Don’t go,” she whispered too low for him to hear.
Patrick lifted his hand to his lips, then blew her a kiss. A light started shining all around the area where Patrick was standing. He seemed to shimmer a little bit in the bright light. Radiant beams seemed to come from his body. Then he slowly faded away, suddenly smiling as he went.
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