Chapter 13
In a flash Dallas had come around and settled me back into the chair, ignoring the damage my coffee was doing by the second to the beautiful green leather, and undoubtedly the wool carpet.
He put his hands on my shoulders and shook me lightly. “Gretchen, what in the name of hell happened? One minute you're fine and the next, well sugar, you're as white as a sheet.”
“Why, hello Gretchen,” Hugh's voice came drifting toward me. “I'm just unclear on one of the finer points in your lofty new profession. Aren't you supposed to clean up damage instead of causing it?”
“I thought he was out of town,” I gibbered focusing on Dallas's eyes. “I wouldn't have come; I would have just told you over the phone. He’s supposed to be out of town.”
Dallas looked away from me to glower at his unwelcome visitor. “Hugh, why don't you leave us the hell alone? Seems like every time Gretchen visits me you come sliding in my door. Why is that, huh? You got business here?”
Hugh shrugged. “My trip was postponed.” Then he turned toward the door. “Marge, clean-up on aisle four.”
I kept my eyes focused on Dallas's until I heard Hugh go whistling back down the hallway. “I am so sorry Dallas; I have to get out of here.” I turned to see Marge advancing quickly with some paper towels “I'll make it up to you,” I whispered to her confused expression as I wheeled out the door. No one ever ran in the lush halls of Goldberg, Helms and Micheaux, but I wager no one had ever attempted a speedier discreet exit as I fled down the corridor.
I stood at the elevator praying that it would quickly come and carry me away. Bridle Springs had never seemed more like home. I couldn't explain the sudden moment of panic caused by Hugh's approach, but I knew I didn't want another second in his presence. I fiddled with my phone nervously and checked the battery to keep from hammering at the doors with my fists. As soon as I heard the elevator approach, I tucked my phone in my jacket and looked up to watch its bright buttoned approach. Every ding was gospel music. As soon as the gold mirrored doors opened I rushed in and searched blindly for the panel before pressing L.
“So the cat with nine lives is climbing too high again,” Hugh's voice said pleasantly as the doors enclosed us. I reached for the panel to reopen the doors and he grabbed my wrist pushing it away.
You're beginning to worry me Gretchen. Now, granted, you also intrigue me, it's almost worth watching your progress, up the tree safely and then,” he slammed his hands together and I started. “The bough breaks and down you go again.” He jingled the change in his pockets and rocked forward on his expensive shoes. “Maybe you should just stay out of the city. I think this job is too much for you, just like the last one,” Hugh continued in an amiable tone. “You’ve come unhinged before and all this death you’ve made your business... Well,” he grinned, “I would think it could wreak havoc on an already fragile mind.”
My pocket vibrated as I heard the tone of a text coming through. I pulled the phone out and looked at it. At this point, I wasn't really curious, but I wanted to appear confident.
It was Lucy: “Bunburry’s Dress code =nice bar—hint hint.”
Hugh snatched my phone and read it aloud before handing it back with a sniff.
“How predictable. You know, Gretchen, I'm really quite worried about you, the drugs, the drinking, paranoia, the inability to handle stress, now bar hopping. Is that really wise? Is it even safe? A girl can only have so many narrow escapes.”
I wiped my phone off with distaste before putting it back in my pocket. Then I looked straight at him thoughtfully, as though I were flipping through various fatal scenarios for him.
“You've called me a cat.” I waved my hand as if to brush off his apology, “I know, I know, it’s not very original, you probably got that from one of the media stories. But don't forget Hugh, in the game of cat and rat? Cat wins. I'll come to town whenever I want. I don't know what your problem is, unless you have some smarmy arrangement at the Dunbarton that your partners would disapprove of, but if so I'd sure like to trace it back to you. And if you're cheating on your wife sneaking in and out of that hotel, maybe I wouldn't mind letting her know that either.”
The doors opened suddenly on the 12th floor and I considered getting off. But that would mean he could be anywhere below, waiting in case the next elevator was empty and I emerged alone. Now, interns and executives were piling in and I maneuvered to the center of their group. Hell, I'd go have lunch with them if it meant Hugh would grow tired and wait for another chance to plague me.
Hugh eased his way to the front and went out. “I'll wait for the next,” Hugh said, smiling back toward the crowd, “elevators are like opportunities, there will always be another one.”
My tweet to attorney on estate clean up: “Now you’re just splitting heirs.”
Chapter 14
Driving home, I passed my exit ramp, deciding to get my mind off that whole nasty business downtown. Going home to brood on it was not helpful mentally or financially so I went on to clean the only other house I had on my schedule.
It was vacant, the heirs wanted the master bedroom cleaned since their uncle had died there, and it was obvious they had been little more to him than heirs. I don't do “trash out” jobs, which is a business focused more on foreclosures than other crises, but this home bore a close resemblance. This man's latter years had definitely been those of someone who should not have been left alone.
I called the attorney Koy Hawkins who had referred them to me and said as much and he agreed. I texted him some photos and he doubled my fee. This was more than I bargained for, but I could donate some of it to outreach for shut-ins.
The heirs, Koy told me in confidence, had always been despicable people, so we both salved our consciences with that fact and I set to work. This job is much easier when you have something to think about, so today should have been a breeze. But of course everything I had to think about was exactly what I didn’t want to dwell on. I attacked the job ferociously and finished in record time.
As soon as I got home I hopped in the shower then bed, setting my alarm for a one hour afternoon nap.
It was probably close to the time when the alarm would have gone off anyway when the phone woke me. I got it just before it reached voice mail
“Hello,” I croaked.
“Gretchen, it’s Elizabeth, I'm terribly sorry for disturbing you, but I'm a bit worried. I got the oddest call from someone who claimed to be a friend of Ben's. She said she had spoken with you and you suggested she call me.”
“It wasn't so much of a suggestion Elizabeth, I saw Ben before he left and he said he would be out of pocket for three weeks, but he would call if he could.”
“He told me the same thing.”
“So this woman, did she call herself Irinia and did she tell you where she was calling from?”
“She did say she was and I was quite firm with her when I asked that.”
“I don't know what her game is; she implied that she was supposed to meet him...” I swallowed hard, “for a romantic rendezvous? But then she seemed to want information about his itinerary...”
“Oh my dear, you know that he,” she coughed delicately; “you must know how he feels about well, that is between the two of you. I gathered from him that this trip was all work. Can you really imagine him slipping away for a fling when he is on important business?”
“No,” I said, “but there is something there between them, she had our contact information.”
“Please don't jump to conclusions, she sounds like she is digging, you know she actually asked me if he was an Earl? As if anyone cares about that sort of thing anymore.”
“Elizabeth, I'm not sure what is going on with Ben, this woman or this trip, all I do know is suddenly I'm not certain of anything.”
“Don't be hasty about this. I will put some feelers out, or do you think that is wise?”
“Maybe not,” I said, “we should give it a few more days at least. He did say he would tr
y to contact me when he could, and it’s a confidential trip.”
“You're probably right,” she said brightly, “and darling if I were you I would not put much stock in this woman's claims. Don’t be rash.”
“All I care about right now is that he comes home. He's gone on these trips before. Even if he returns with this woman all that matters right now is that he is okay.”
I meant that, for the most part, as long as she had a round trip ticket and he did not.
“I'm sure this person was just making outrageous assertions in order to learn more about Ben. Maybe she is with a competitor.”
“It’s an idea, it seems as though she really wanted information. Did Dad get a call too?”
“That's a good question, I'll ask him. I've wanted to talk to your father for a while now; this is a good excuse to check on him.”
“Ask Dad to call me if he knows anything would you?”
“Of course my dear, and oh, I can imagine Ben will be so displeased when he finds I have gotten you wound up.”
“You didn't,” I assured her “if anyone did it was this Irinia, and he can't be mad at us when his friend is the one who set off the alarm bells. I just want him to be happy.”
“You make him happy. That is one thing that woman said, that she called you first because she knew you are important to him.”
“She told me pretty much the opposite.”
“Jealousy, I imagine. In any event in less than 3 weeks, unless we hear from him beforehand, we will have him back and we can grill him about this whole revolting episode.”
“Yes,” I said, “that we will do. I love you, and you’re right, at the most it sounds like he had a fling. Perhaps she didn’t accept that for what it was,” I said hopefully.
“I won't argue that point, but trust what you know of him Gretchen. I realize he is my son, but Ben has always been good and true.”
“Yes,” I said, trying to keep the sadness from my voice, “he has.”
After Elizabeth's call I was indeed “wound up again.” I wanted to call someone, but Elizabeth was tracking down the only person I would call anyway; my dad. Any comfort he could give me at this point would be cold comfort. I no longer was of that wonderful age when I used to believe he could set the world right. And right now it would be brutal to hear him try.
Dad used to tell me, “I'll let you know when it's time to worry” and he always did when I was younger. Now my father, having made his money and raised his daughter was continuing on his great sojourn, the quest for a second soul mate.
As much as we tried to stay in touch there was no one in my life now to tell me when to worry.
I was worried.
I couldn’t go to Lucy. I just wanted to talk and she would just want to fix it, before we even know what, if anything was broken. At this point there was no fixing to be done. There was only the waiting.
I snapped the leash on Mosey and took her out wandering. We covered the lakes, some trails, and the private airstrip until I found myself outside Lucy’s house. I stood there for a moment considering stopping in. I weighed the options of confiding in her and realized as much as I loved her, there are some things you cannot figure out with someone else. As well as she knew me I couldn’t transport her into those feelings as I had watching him scrambling after me in that tree with a camera around his neck and an apple in his mouth, the moment I saw him in tails at our parents wedding, the nights uptown when the concierge would call up to my condo to tell me he was there. There for me. He was mine and I was his and all the circumstances around that fact, the work, the horrors, the poor timing, were superfluous.
I circled back and checked the animals and let Mosey off the leash for the short walk home. A bath would do me some good I decided. Perhaps a book would keep my mind from tugging on all the threads of the possibilities. At any rate Ben would be home soon, a matter of weeks. This would become just another dark passage I had to move through to get to the light again. Out of all those wicked tunnels I had made it through, this one would be easier than the rest, my emergence from it more certain. I wasn’t being pursued, or assaulted and I wasn’t self destructing. I was waiting. And because I wasn’t good at that I would keep busy.
I had fought for sobriety and for my life and no matter how hard this might be; I couldn’t imagine this could be worse.
As soon as we got inside I topped off Mosey’s bowls. He drank deeply then followed me around as I paced the house.
“Nothing is wrong,” I assured him. I leaned down and scratched behind his ears. “We are in that sweet, sweet spot where we have heard nothing for sure is bad. Until we hear it straight from Ben, there is nothing going on between him and this Euro-trash. We are going to wait until we hear from him. Now you lie down by the hearth, I’m going to bathe and things are only going to get better.”
I walked upstairs and started the bath. It was time for self indulgence. I went downstairs and fixed a large cup of coffee and grabbed a favorite paperback. It was Marsha Norman’s “The Fortune Teller.” It was good enough to be engrossing and familiar enough so that I could stop and think.
I headed over to the phone to tell Lucy our plans were off for the night. I hadn’t heard the phone ring but my answering machine was blinking when I got upstairs. Antiquated though it may be, it was still pragmatic when the internet companies were throwing in land lines for free and in heavily forested Union County they were still very much in use.
I pressed the button and felt weak when I heard his voice, Ben’s voice, my God; I don’t think a sound had ever made me happier.
But then he began to speak. His tone was despairingly apologetic and the smile on my face began to crumple.
“Gretchen, it doesn’t look like I will be back in three weeks. I’ve run into an old colleague and there are some unexpected complications. I’m going to be here indefinitely. If you would just make sure you keep the utilities on and the bills paid up for now I hope to explain it all eventually. My assistant has a power of attorney for you along with all my banking information I prepared some time back. You have full access to all my finances; just don’t go crazy with the diamonds and furs.”
He paused for so long I thought he had hung up. But his tone was very firm as he continued. “I know I told you the picnics and outings were just for us, but I want you to go on them yourself while I’m away. Or go with your dad or even Jared. I don’t want my little sis getting bored waiting for me and I had the basket made for a reason. A lot of design work went into that present so I expect you to use it soon and often.”
I heard a woman laughing derisively in the background. Was he at a party? In a hotel room? He began talking faster. “Tell Mother not to worry would you? You know I would never cross any mother unless the circumstances are extreme.” There was a long pause while the tape continued to run. Then he spoke again. “I love you sis, take care.”
I bent over and held my arms tight against my stomach as though I had been gutted. And pressed “replay” over and over until the bath was full. Once I had memorized it all like a mantra of pain in an interminable and endless loop I took the cartridge out and put it in a sea glass vase on my dresser. I put a fresh cassette in the slot and just stood there looking at the phone, willing it to take a new message immediately and from Ben, saying the previous one was just a horrible mistake. The phone was silent.
Message to health nut brother: “Glad you are enjoying Asia and thanks for the photo of your dinner of fried donkey penis. Really shocked that you would eat something fried.”
Chapter 15
I spent the night and through the next early afternoon ignoring my phone and wallowing in self pity. Then I’d had enough. I could almost hear a voice telling me “Buck up or fuck off.” It sounded like Lucy.
I chose to buck up.
First I listened to all my voicemails. Jackson, Mona and Lucy all called to tell me Herb had been arrested. I was glad to know it hadn’t become common knowledge yet that I had been there. YET was key;
this town had a gossip mill that was more efficient than a national gossip rag.
There were no job orders.
There was a message from my dad, saying that Elizabeth was quite upset with Ben, evidently he had called and left a message when he knew she would be out for her weekly task of changing out the flowers at the chapel. Ben’s message had been that he would be away for quite awhile but he had prepared for that and I would manage his personal bills and the condo.
I called the number I had for Ben’s office and made an appointment to meet with his assistant Kalinda the following Monday at a Caribou coffee near her home in Dilworth. I had no desire to go all the way into town again so soon.
I washed my hair, very carefully shaved my legs and applied lotion until my slightly tanned skin had a nice sheen. I slipped a robe on and went downstairs to look for something I could call an early dinner. I spotted the Diva Mama pie in the freezer but it was off limits. I had bought it for Jared who was off limits too and then stopped short. With Ben’s sudden flare-up of an old relationship and his suggestion that I use the picnic basket with another man, getting out for the evening wasn’t the worst idea in the world anymore.
Mooning about and pining for Ben wasn’t getting me anywhere. After I thought about it all I dialed Jared and asked him if I could stop by his house that evening.
“I’ve been meaning to call you,” he said, “they brought Herb in with a confession, so you were right about that and there’s some scuttlebutt around the department that you were involved?”
“Not really,” I said, pleased that Bud wasn’t sharing the tape around the office. “He had the confession planned already, I just happened to be nearby. So do you have a few minutes for me to drop something by tonight?”
“He hesitated, “I had a date but it’s something I can cancel.”
“A date?” I squeaked—oh hell my shock and disappointment were out all in two words and a very vivid delivery. My guard of sarcasm and quick snide rebuttals had been weakened. I blamed Ben and Hugh for that as I tried to regain my emotional footing quickly. “Absolutely not! I can just drop it by tomorrow at the station.”
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