2 Maid in the Shade

by Bridget Allison

  Although the crowd was surprisingly large the room was spacious enough for dancing as long as you didn't mind close quarters.

  “That there’s Etta,” Mona said grimly, pointing out an overweight woman tightly encased in an outfit which would have been better suited for a teenager.

  Jackson took her in and laughed. “I believe they did buy that crown Mona. Bless her heart, she can’t help bein’ ugly but she could of stayed home.”

  There was a table marked “reserved”, a couple tried to sit at it, and a beefy fellow with a kind face shooed them away and nodded over at us.

  “How'd you rate this kind of treatment Lucy? It seems like Jackson's not the only one with secrets.”

  “Oh Rod and I believe in investing in the community, we saw a need...”

  “Good grief!” I said, “You own this place!”

  “Nope, wrong, we gave the McCall boys start-up money, which they've paid back with interest. They're grateful is all.”

  The bar was an odd eclectic mixture of old school with a scarred but beautiful antique bar, deep blue and green painted walls and ceilings that were embedded with lights and a hodgepodge of antique tables and chairs probably pulled from estate and yard sales. “Very cool,” I said, “but I'm especially happy to see I don't know anyone here,” I laughed.

  “Don't be so sure,” Lucy warned, “everyone ends up at Bunburry’s sometime.”

  “True dat,” said Mona solemnly, and we all burst into laughter.

  Once the band started Jackson pulled me to my feet and into the center of the room. Among strangers it was anonymous as dancing in a nightclub in Monte Carlo or Austin. Cotillion had taken care of not only a Southern youngster’s grasp of the finer points of social etiquette but a thorough knowledge of dancing with our young gentlemen in every move from the waltz to swing. Jackson was amazing, leading me in steps so easily we almost looked choreographed. The circle around us widened as some people stepped back to watch Jackson and by default; me. We continued through the next song and suddenly Lucy was taking my hand and Jackson had begun to dance with Mona. Mona didn't give a fig what Jackson was doing, she moved to her own drummer and at the moment it looked like she was operating a hydraulic jack.

  Dancing with Lucy was a new experience; it was like a commercial for Lesbian Dance Videos. She shimmied around me almost tauntingly but with a joyful grin that kept her moves just this side of decent. I used some of my own slightly risqué moves just to keep from looking like her personal maypole. But, I reasoned, why not for one night? Lucy had such magnetism I always had to fight off her influence, but tonight I was all theirs. Mona, Lucy, Jackson, I felt like doing them proud. “Look who's let her hair down!” Lucy exclaimed. I shrugged and then began to gyrate a little more and her eyes widened before she grinned and stepped up to catch up with me.

  “Never a better time to tackle that pole there, girl!”

  “Baby steps,” I shouted back over the din. “And what a babe,” a man behind me said, which made my grin all the wider.

  Jackson and Mona began to orbit us and Mona put her hand on my shoulder.

  “You have a fan,” she cackled and cast her eyes over to the corner of the room but I didn't see anyone, just an empty chair.

  A slow song was starting when a familiar voice asked if he could have the next dance. I looked up as my heart plummeted into my stomach, and Lucy let go of one hand as he took the other. “Jared,” I hissed, “way to go on the discretion agreement! Why are you here?”

  “Discretion? You’re a fine one to talk about that. Looks like you and Lucy just outed yourselves as a couple. Besides, you told me you were coming.”

  “I didn’t say tonight.”

  “Sure you did, I got the text.”

  We looked at each other quizzically before realization dawned on us at the same time.

  “Lucy!”

  “She must have nabbed your phone, I should have realized, you don’t normally talk dirty to me.”

  I froze, then grabbed my phone to look at recent texts. There was nothing.

  “She deleted it immediately I’m sure.”

  I shook my head in confirmation. “Do I want to know what it said?”

  “I’m off tonight; really not in the mood to lock you up for assault charges although it is tempting to have you where I want you for a change.”

  “Oh, by the way,” I clapped my hand over my mouth. “Thank you for the delivery! I was going to text or call. I haven’t tried the basket of bananas and canned pineapple but the cactus will be so pretty if I can get it to bloom.”

  He looked horrified “No! That's wrong. That isn't what I ordered at all.”

  I leaned into him and reached up to whisper, biting his earlobe for good measure. “I can assure you it is so much more surprising than say, orchids and cupcakes.”

  “Gretchen, you have a real mean streak you know that?”

  “So you were just coming out here to see if I got the delivery?”

  “Don't be silly; now that I've bedded you, I have my sights set on Mona.”

  I laughed as he twirled me and brought me close with my back to him as we swayed gently, then he leaned closer and softly ran his tongue down the side of my neck.

  I shivered.

  “Want to go out to my truck?”

  “Oh tempting, do you keep etchings in there or do you have a mixed CD for me?” I chuckled.

  “I have something else for you.”

  “What could we have possibly missed?”

  “One more thing, but if I take it to the next level there is a caveat, I think you will most likely faint.”

  “I never faint.”

  “You haven't fainted, yet.”

  “Anything might make a person faint; you could have a jar of your ancestors' tongues to show me for all I know.”

  He twirled me away and brought me back to him and arched an eyebrow.

  “If I agreed to this, out of mere curiosity, mind you, where will it end? You may have 50 more tricks up your sleeve.”

  He bit his upper lip and narrowed his eyes engagingly, “And wouldn't you hate to miss them all if I did?”

  “At least you didn't say you had 50 tricks up your boxers, you would have had to hold my hair back and watch your shoes.”

  He shook his head, “I thought you didn't make long-term relationship plans?”

  “I did say that.”

  “So, what's the difference? You don't intend to stay here forever, I probably will. Make the most of your time here right? Have a little fun.”

  “So that was just fun and games last night?”

  “I made myself clear on what I felt about it. You're the one who gets all freaked about the math and philosophy of it.”

  “The math meaning one night, the philosophy meaning?”

  “If no one knows then did it actually happen? Like “if a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound?”

  “That's an idiotic argument. Repartee with you is exhausting.”

  He nodded, “Coming upon your intellectual equal IS probably draining.”

  I gave him a puzzled look; “Well let's experiment; point one out.”

  Just then Jackson came by and cut in, Jared let go of my hand and melted into the crowd as Jackson and I danced. This time was even better now that I knew what to expect.

  After we finished the dance we started to scan the sea of faces for the rest of our party while another song began. I had just spotted Lucy sitting at a table with three men of varying ages and they all looked pretty entertained. I would expect no less. Jackson was just pointing out Mona doing what looked like a combination of the “swim” and the “pony” with a befuddled gentleman about her age when the song stopped and the lead singer came up to the mike. “We have a guest sitting in tonight on guitar for a bit. We're always pleased to have Jared Helder jam with us and he's made a special request. Since I don't know all the lyrics what do y'all think about Jared doing the vocals too?”

  Everyone clapped wildly.


  “Now before y'all get excited let me tell you right now, the singer probably sucks.”

  There was more clapping mixed with laughter; I had already noticed the band covered a pretty wide variety of music, from country to light rock and singing a few of their own.

  The lead stepped back up, “you regulars all know him on guitar, but tonight will be the first time he's done any singing so,” he slipped into a quick Elvis impersonation, “have mercccccy.”

  The crowd cheered again, and I felt suddenly nervous for Jared, what if he couldn't carry a tune? Could you even play guitar and be tone deaf? I was worried for him, but he stepped up to the mike with all the confidence in the world.

  “I like to dedicate this song to someone I’ll just call “Legs” who's here listening right now.”

  Everyone turned to scan the room and I pretended to as well as I tried to convey, “Oh where oh where might this girl be?” I caught Lucy's eye and she smirked.

  I was mortified as my mind tried to leaf through the possibilities of tunes he might choose. As the first few notes began Lucy danced her way over pointing to me with both hands and incorporating that with her moves. This was so damn helpful, just in case someone there was already too blind or drunk to notice Jared was looking my way.

  I started to recognize the song, just barely. My first thought was “Oh helllllll no.”

  As he started out singing “My, Oh My You're So Good Lookin'” I recognized it: Blake Shelton's “Who Are You When I'm not Looking.”

  Which was pretty much a declaration that he had “tasted some of my cookin'” – in other words ME. I looked at him dumbfounded. For one thing, he was pretty good, but this was a complete breach of our agreement. I felt betrayed, a little smitten, and angry as hell all at once. He may as well have put it in the paper. And while most of the patrons wouldn't know me, EVERYONE knew Jared. Questions would be asked.

  I looked at Lucy, she grabbed my hands and smiled as she got up on her tiptoes; “Gretchen,” she said in a singsong voice, “something you want to share? I guess you don't need to now though right?” She tried to pull me out to a clear space and I leaned down to hiss back in her ears “holy hell!”

  She just grinned, determined not to let my mood affect her joy that I had evidently slept with Jared, but I stood there rigidly, while a man beside her pulled her into a slow dance.

  I wanted to charge out of the bar, take the Mercedes and leave everyone stranded, but I had no keys. I wanted to go break the mike, pick a random guy and sweep him into a kiss to confuse the crowd. With my luck it would probably be someone's beau and I would be the recipient of a roundhouse punch. Instead, I made my way to one of the windows at the entrance and held my arms across my chest and with my back to the stage just listened to the words. When the song was finished there was wild cheering and shouts of “More! Let's hear something else!” so I thought it would be safe to turn around.

  Nope, almost everyone was looking my way. I glanced at Jared and he gave me a look that somehow seemed to simultaneously convey: “How badly did I screw up?" and “I'm not a damn bit sorry if I did.”

  The lead singer grabbed the mike and asked Jared, “How bout it, you got another one for your newest fans?” I slipped out the door before I heard his reply.

  I was standing, staring out at the tree lined parking lot when I heard him come up behind me.

  “Go away!” I said, but he put his hands on my rump and without thinking about it I swiftly turned and cold cocked him. As I turned I saw Jared was running across the parking lot. I stared down in confusion at the stranger on the ground. I was certainly developing some bad habits lately.

  “Hmmm, you sure took care of him without any help.”

  “He's pretty small,” I said dismissively, “a man that size should keep his hands to himself. Hey, why aren't you inside delighting your fans?” I sneered.

  “Oh I saw Jimmy there slip out the door right behind you, he's known for getting grabby when he's drunk. Where’d you learn to do that anyway?”

  “Do people ask men where they learned to defend themselves? Anyway, Ben taught me self-defense before I left for college; he was concerned about me dating strange boys. Why don’t you go continue your performance in there? Please feel free to dedicate a song to…another someone.”

  “I wasn't planning to sing another anyway, there's no one for me to sing to when you're out of the room.”

  “How could you humiliate me like that? You might as well have released a sex tape.”

  “Humiliate? I just don't get how that was anything but homage to a beautiful girl. Most girls...”

  “Yeah, most girls would be out in your truck bed whipping off their underwear right now. I'm not most girls.”

  “You got that right. I know men talk about how hard it is to understand women, but until now I don't think I have ever been so baffled by a female. You have me in a state of confusion all the time.”

  “Ever think that might be a sign?”

  “Nope, except to try something else, try something new, try harder.”

  “Well, I don't get you at all. There are so many nice girls in this town...”

  “I don't want a nice girl,” he grinned “I want you.”

  I burst into laughter, “You silver tongued devil.”

  “You are a nice girl, a good girl,” he smiled suddenly, “and sometimes, at least on one occasion, a very bad girl. I used to just go for the latter, but with you, I gotta admit I enjoy them all.”

  I shook my head. “Frankly, I don't understand it, you're the main attraction in this town, and we had our night, aren't there any other girls available right now, or is there a hair stylist convention in Raleigh?”

  “There are plenty of women in there.”

  “So I noted, thanks for getting them all pissed off and jealous over that song, now I've got enemies I don't even know.”

  I heard a retching noise before I realized Jared had picked me up, cradling me in his arms as though I were a new bride ready to cross a threshold. “Jimmy's also noted for spontaneously vomiting around the bar and parking lot,” Jared laughed.

  It was only natural that my arms went around his neck as he carried me back to the bar. I didn't start to protest until we got near the entrance. As I started to argue he cut me off with his lips just as Lucy, Jackson and Mona spilled out of Bunburry’s.

  “We were going to find you and head out,” Mona explained, peering at us curiously. Sprain your ankle? I know I’m going to be in pain myself tomorrow, if you get something from the doctor I hope you’ll set some aside for me.”

  “Sorry Mona, no sprained ankle.” I said, struggling to get down.

  “Actually,” Lucy said, “Mona misspoke; we came out to tell you that if you wanted to head out you might need to scare up a ride...” She turned and gave Jackson a look that screamed “plan afoot!” and one to Mona that said “Not a word out of you.”

  “We came to tell you that we promised to take the Tucker twins home,” Lucy shrugged apologetically. “I'm afraid you're going to have to hitch a ride from... Someone,” she gave Jared a mischievous look.

  “Shotgun!” Mona cried, “I'm not riding in the back seat with those big sweaty carrot tops.”

  “I'll sit on Jackson's lap,” I said smiling back.

  “I'm afraid that’s not possible, the car only seats five,” Jared said lowering me to the ground, “as a member of the law enforcement around here I'm afraid I can’t allow that.”

  “Let me see those twins,” I demanded.

  “I'll go in with you to point them out,” Jared said taking my hand.

  “Be careful,” Lucy warned, “there is a pack of unaccountably ornery women in there.”

  “Drunken, angry women,” Jackson added.

  “Mona you swear these twins are in there?”

  “You can't miss those two,” Mona said blithely.

  “I never do,” Jackson snorted.

  Mona put her hands on her hips, “What I want to
know is who's going to get the smell out of my car once we get them home?”

  “I'll have it detailed,” Lucy said quickly.

  “Why don't one of you ride with us?” I suggested, looking at Jared “that is, if you don't mind.”

  “Oh, are you leaving now?” Lucy asked, her tone dripping with honeyed innocence.

  “Definitely, I think I've exhausted all the goodwill in there by now.”

  “Pity, we're closing the joint,” Jackson smirked.

  Lucy came over to me and motioned for me to bend down, since Jared was still standing on the other side of me.

  “Just get in the fucking truck,” Lucy said in exasperation.

  “That's probably what he calls it,” I hissed back at her.

  Jared overheard and chuckled, “Okay that settles it.” He picked me up again.

  “Explain why I’m airborne this time?”

  “You know how you curl your arm around my neck? I kinda like it.”

  “I'm simply holding on, I have no choice,” I said hotly, thankfully noting we were almost at the pickup.

  “I could hold you another way,” Jared said and swung me around so that my legs were wrapped around his waist and we were staring eye-to-eye as he pressed me against the cab and leaned into me. My legs tightened around his hips. My skirt thankfully, was of such a light fabric it did not ride up. He had one hand cupping the back of my head while the other hand freely explored me. I looked over his shoulder frantically in embarrassment, but my friends had vanished back inside. Helplessly, I began to reciprocate and I pulled him closer to me.

  He suddenly stopped just as I was gasping for breath and ready to break all the rules I had so carefully stipulated after the night we spent together.

  “Guess I better take you home now,” he smiled.

  “You are an evil man,” I panted. “Never again! No songs, no flowers or cupcakes and certainly none of this.”

  “Just admit it,” he said, thrusting me into my seat. “You want to be with me.”