“Do you like it?” he asks, pulling me farther into the room and to the bench seat at the foot of the bed.
“Yup. It’s perfect, though I can’t believe you have a lilac room.”
I’m on his lap and not too surprised when he shifts me and presses me closer to his erection. Our relationship is still very new despite our familiarity with each other, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Wyatt and I are still starved for each other a year or two from now.
“Baby, this is your room, too, so why wouldn’t I make sure it would be what you want? Me, I don’t give a shit about the color of the duvet as long as you’re under it with me. Speaking of which…”
His lips are on mine before I can take my next breath, and I lean into him with a sigh, spearing my hands through his hair to pull his head down and closer.
“Make love to me, Wyatt,” I gasp, pulling my mouth away and moaning when his hands skate up and under my shirt, his fingers finding my breasts without pause.
“You don’t have to ask me twice.”
***
Wyatt
The idyllic peace of the last few days is shattered when I get a call four days later letting me know that Aunt Lynn is on her way, ready and rearing to meet the woman who brought me to my knees.
I love Aunt Lynn, don’t get me wrong, but the thought of having her anywhere near Ellie while that piece of garbage she’s married to has free access to our home through her makes my skin crawl.
“Tell her no, Pop. I don’t want her near Ellie till her husband is safely behind bars,” I snarl, pacing the study with long strides and agitation.
“Wyatt, we knew this would happen sooner or later. Lynn is my sister, and she has a right to be part of the family and you know it. Now settle down and talk to me, boy.”
Talk about what? The fact that for the last four days and nights I’ve been making love to Ellie and doing everything in my power to earn her trust along with that last scarp of her love.
It’s unreasonable to even think this, but I’m pissed that she doesn’t love me yet. Think of what I’ve gone through to get to this point we’re at. I haven’t made love to another woman in two years since I finally decided to go after Ellie.
That was my penance and the way I kept myself pure for her, because no matter how many times I told myself to leave her alone, I knew I would always want her.
I’ve spent so long watching her while also trying to bury myself in work and chasing that perfect deal that to say I had a life at that stage would have been laughable.
I won’t lie to her and pretend to be someone I’m not. I’ve always been a take-charge, go-after-what-I-want-till-I-get-it kind of guy, and this patience shit is not my natural state.
On one hand, I keep berating myself for my anger over her not taking one look at me and loving me. On the other, I still wonder how she can be so great that she’d break down so much of her walls and actually let me anywhere near her.
Maybe it’s wishful thinking on my part, but a large chunk of my already lost heart is thinking that she knows that we are meant to be together.
That’s the part of me that gets annoyed when I say something like “I want a quick wedding” and she takes three steps back and away from me. I shouldn’t be rushing her and overwhelming her, but the fear that she’ll soon find it all out despite my family’s promise not to say anything before I’m ready…it’s always there, driving me harder, faster, demanding more, more, more.
“Pop, listen, I know I’m being unreasonable here, but I know Aunt Lynn. She won’t hesitate to say something if she thinks she should, and half the time she’s so innocent of the undercurrents, she’s bound to let too much slip without even knowing,” I mutter, dropping down into a seat at his desk.
“Boy, you’re walking on eggshells right now and part of me feels for you, I really do, but I warned you not to leave things going this long without speaking to Ellie. If the girl didn’t feel something for you, she wouldn’t be here with us right now and you know it.”
That’s true, but I’m a greedy man. I want the whole enchilada and the side order of salad, too. Ellie has to love me without reserve, and so much that when she knows everything, it won’t hurt her.
And end up hurting me when she turns and walks away.
“She’s not ready. No, Pop, she isn’t. I know it because I hold her at night when she’s having nightmares and shedding silent tears in her sleep. I get the job of knowing that her dreams are back, because I’ve stirred up that can of worms. It’s all too raw.”
He shakes his head at me and gets that bullish expression on his face that reminds me so much of Jared, I don’t even want to be here to hear what the old fart has to say.
“For you. Yeah I said it, boy, and I won’t take it back because it’s a long time coming. This is all still too fresh for you! Ellie is doing just fine here with the way your mama and brothers pamper her to death. And that’s without you trying to run around after the poor girl twenty-four hours. She is fine and she’s told you that a hundred times. It’s your own misplaced guilt that’s fucking everything up, and if I were you, I’d think about getting help and letting that stuff go.”
Shit.
I will never forgive myself for any of it. The worst part? I didn’t even get to play the hero and save Ellie, because she ran and got out of there, herself.
Whatever fear she had was overcome by…I don’t know what, maybe her need for survival or the innate knowledge that Bolton was going to escalate soon.
Whatever the reason, she saved herself. All I have to offer her now is me, and the way I see it, if she accepts, she’ll be getting the short end of the stick in the bargain.
“Son. Ellie is strong and more than well rounded enough to be just fine. It’s you who’s sabotaging things, holding out till the other shoe drops. Rip the bandage off and check to see if it’s healed, because staring at the bandage, wondering what’s going on underneath, isn’t getting you anywhere. As for Lynn…she has a right to meet Ellie and get to know her and maybe one day come to terms with what her son was capable of.”
No, she doesn’t! Is it harsh that I blame her a little for all of it? Yes, I know it is, because if she finds out that the perfect woman I love so much is the same one Bolton hurt, she’d probably cry.
But he was her son, a product of her failures as a parent, and I can’t help thinking that if she’d seen him for what he was and done something about his hatred, none of it would have happened.
“I don’t want Ellie to know yet and that’s final.”
“Jesus, you’re a stubborn asshole, just like those brothers of yours. Fine, I’ll call Lynn and make an excuse, but you sort this out soon or I will, Wyatt.”
Pop is one of those men who takes the care of his females very seriously. Ma has joked more than once that she is beyond grateful she didn’t have a daughter for Pop to drive crazy with his coddling and overly protective ways.
Poor Ellie is the first, and my pop seems to be obsessed with ensuring her care and happiness. Including giving Ellie everything she needs, like knowing the whole story.
“Soon. I promise.”
“Good, because I won’t let my sister suffer for any of this, not after what we did with her son.”
He says this after four years of everyone dancing around the subject. He’s never agreed with my methods, not once.
Bolton had to pay for what he did and I made him. If Pop is upset because Aunt Lynn still doesn’t know the whole story, that’s his problem.
I’ve lived with it just fine for years, and I plan to live with it for the rest of my life.
“It’s done. He didn’t deserve better and you Goddamn know it, Pop. Now I’m leaving before you and I get into another argument about something I can’t change,” I say, rising to leave the study and Pop’s accusing stares.
“You can, Wyatt, you just won’t. Sometimes I swear it would have been better if he’d hurt you instead of Ellie, because it would have been easier for you to get over.
You’ve let this mess control you for too long, kid.”
And I will continue on this way till I have what I want and my woman is safe from the jackals. Thank God my brothers have always had my back, because Ma and Pop have never agreed with what I did to Bolton.
“Would you feel any different if it happened to Ma?” I ask shortly, pausing at the door and turning to him.
That gives him pause and I see his eyes go black before he takes a breath and looks up at me.
“I don’t know, son, I just don’t know. Bolton was my nephew and a part of this family, too. I loved him despite all of his faults and would only want the best for the boy. What you did wasn’t meant to change anything, it was for revenge and you know it. I hate that you’ve become this vengeful person when you never were before. I want my kid back, Wyatt.”
I don’t answer, just turn and leave the way I came, because what can I say? I won’t ever be that carefree, fun-loving man ever again and he knows it. Gone are the days that I’d spend time just enjoying life and searching for the next adventure.
I never want to disappoint my family the way I did before. If that means living with the guilt of my actions against my own cousin, so be it.
“Psst, yo, bro, get your ass over here before Ma or Ellie see you.”
My eyes meet Miah’s where he’s peeping around the wall above the stairs and I grin, taking the stairs two at a time to reach him.
“What’s up?”
“They’re looking for a guinea pig for the baking they’re doing.”
“And you’re cowering upstairs?”
“They found this cookbook for sugar-free treats and that shit is just nasty. Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about the call I just got from Roman, and if they get their hooks into us, we’ll be busy eating tasteless shit the rest of the day. Come with me.”
Chapter Twelve
Ellie
I don’t have the heart to tell Jude that my idea of tasty treats does not include sugar that isn’t sugar and taste like the sweet, decayed flesh of a corpse.
Instead, I help her bake batch after batch of cookies that her sons won’t eat and just let the monotonous task soothe me. My nerves are on edge and have been the last few days, thanks to Wyatt’s urgency—a desperation I don’t understand but feel every time he looks at me, touches me, or makes love to me.
It’s as if he’s afraid to let me out of his sight for even a minute. As a result, I’m tempted to cling to him in case something bad happens to ruin this peaceful place we’ve found together.
Another reason I’m so uneasy is the fact that I think I went and did it. I went and let myself fall for the man who has done nothing but love and worship me since taking me.
I’m dependant on him for everything, something I swore to myself I wouldn’t do because I hate feeling this needy for another. I’m needy and so in love with him and his family that most days it’s all I can do not to jump him and demand an engagement ring and the wedding he’s put off because I acted like I didn’t want it yet.
Talk about a major error in judgement.
“Ellie, honey, are you alright?”
Jude’s staring at me askance and I realize I’ve been standing in front of the oven holding a tray of raw cookies, just staring into space. I have a tendency to zone out lately, a character trait that’s returned now that I’m not so stiff and hard on myself.
Letting down my barriers is great, but I’ve found myself saying and doing some things only the old naïve Ellie would have done and I don’t like it one bit.
“Uh, I’m fine, Jude, just fine. Sorry, I sort of spaced out for a minute.”
I get the cookies into the oven and sit down at the table with a cup of tea and my thoughts as Jude joins me, her eyes soft and understanding.
“Love isn’t easy to accept when the one you love happens to be a Lane and so overwhelmingly present in your heart and mind,” she says ruefully, giving me the eye. “Don’t deny it, Ellie dear, I’d only be offended because I’d know your denials are lies. You love my son.” She claps her hands gleefully.
“Shh! I don’t….what am I supposed to do with all of this so soon, Jude? I mean, it’s one thing to go with his flow and change everything I’ve done or felt for years, but now…”
“Now you’re afraid that it’s all happening too soon and seems too perfect and good to be true?”
“Something like that,” I mumble, taking a sip of tea to steady my beating heart.
I’ve never been in love with a man before and it terrifies me. I knew it this morning when I rolled over and saw him sleeping beside me.
The rightness I felt, the utter joy that this was the first face I was seeing tipped me off, and he only made it worse when his eyes opened and he smiled so wide, my heart near burst.
He’s depending on me to love him, but hasn’t so much as made a move or said anything to force the issue, and I find myself afraid of the responsibility and trust he’s put in me.
As well as the fear that we’ve moved too fast and any day now he’s going to realize that and break my heart. I’m all in now, completely in love with them all, and it would kill me to lose the new family I’ve only just found.
“Honey, I won’t sit here and say that it’s easy, because it’s not. Wyatt is a chip off the old block and not an easy man to love because he’s so intense. There was a time that I ran from George like the hounds of hell were chasing me because I knew if he caught me, I was done for.”
“George? Sweet George who seems so mild mannered?” I ask, shocked that the original, laid-back, easygoing George would have been anything like Wyatt.
She snorts and sips her own coffee, grimacing for a second before her mouth breaks into a smile ad she laughs humorlessly.
“George is worse than Wyatt, though you’d never think it just looking at him. He took one look at me in college and came after me. I, of course, was not pleased. I’d just started college and had no plans to settle down anytime soon. I wanted freedom and to live a life all my own with a career and friends and everything.”
“I understand that.”
I do and I don’t. There was a time when I had dreamed only of having a family of my own one day. Of course, I was in college to prepare for a career, but it was only a secondary goal.
“He chased me, though, and man oh man was he relentless. When he finally caught me I had two choices—lose him and choose a life that suddenly seemed empty or leave college and try for something more.”
“You chose him.”
“No!” She laughs, shaking her head ruefully, her eyes going soft and low with memories. “I was stubborn. I cussed him out and started dating a lot of men I wasn’t interested in. See, I was terrified of loving George, because I didn’t believe he’d stay. I thought he’d lose interest and move on, leaving me heartbroken in the dirt.”
“George? Seriously? The man is still smitten, Jude.”
She laughs again and nods, not the slightest bit humble about her husband’s complete adoration. She just accepts it and seems to revel in his love.
“Yup, something I learned days after dumping his ass. See, George isn’t like other guys of my time. He believed in equality across the board and equal opportunity, like me finishing school and having choices. He just didn’t see why we couldn’t have that and a family.”
“Please tell me he did not kidnap you, too!” I giggle, feeling more understanding and amused by Wyatt now than I did before.
Seriously, now that I’m here, all I can do when I think about his methods is laugh. One thing’s for sure, Wyatt will never do things by halves, which means he’ll be a great father.
“Nope. George is, shall we say, a bit more refined in his methods than my eldest son. He seduced me and managed to knock me up on the first go round.”
“Noooo.”
“Yes, oh yes. The man is diabolical when he wants something, and never once hesitated once he had a plan. He got me pregnant, to the altar, and in his home before I could blink. It was jus
t what I needed, though, because as much as I loved him then, I would have kept fighting it just to prove a point. He confessed later that he was going crazy without me and didn’t see any other choice, but at the time I was pissed at us both.”
I can well imagine. A friend of mine from college had a pregnancy scare at one time, and she got so mad at her and her boyfriend both that she broke up with him and refused to leave the dorm for anything other than class and going to the library.
They got back together a few weeks later after she got her period and I asked her why she’d willingly lose the guy she loved because of something that isn’t a bad thing, and she’d said that her career was the only goal she’d set for herself, and failure, when it was her own stupidity that caused it, would have made her hate them both.
Some women just want what they want and I can’t judge.
“How did he change your mind?” I ask, getting into the story now that I see some parallels between it and my own relationship with her son.
“Well, he just kept telling me that he loved me and would never leave me for anything in the world, and I eventually realized it was true. It also helped that he took Wyatt to work with him after he was born while I went back to school. The man was a manny from the time Wyatt took his first breath. It got so bad, I had to kick his ass to get my hands on my own baby.”
“You’re exaggerating.”
We both turn to see her husband leaning against the doorjamb, an indulgent smile on his face before he strolls in and bends to kiss us both on the cheek.
“I’m leaving now. I have a meeting I couldn’t cancel. Do me a favor, Judy baby, and talk some sense into your son. Lynnie was on her way for a visit and he made me cancel it. I don’t like this situation one bit. He’s being stubborn and pigheaded.”
I almost feel like I’m eavesdropping when they start whispering to each other and end the exchange with a kiss I never thought I’d see from a couple who have been married for well over thirty years.
Wyatt (Lane Brothers #1) Page 10