Deal my ass. The guy could talk an Eskimo into buying ice so I know he’s talking crap.
“You okay sweetie?”
I shuffle around in my seat and poke my straw at the ice in my glass, shrugging at Lila across the table. We’re having lunch in a swanky little out of the way Bistro a block away from her salon, something she’s determined to drag me to on a weekly basis.
I’m not feeling it today but I hadn’t had the heart to let her down so now here I sit, wondering how to get rid of her so I can go home and just veg until Devon gets back.
“Fine. Bored. Fat. Tired. And Devon had some meeting to go to so…”
“That’s a good thing Beck. You guys can’t spend every minute of the day together or you’ll go crazy. Couples need space you know. Look at me and Grey. He does his thing and I do mine and at the end of the day when he comes home I’m ready to rip his clothes off.”
“That’s gross. I suppose you’re right, it’s just that he’s been preoccupied and short of waterboarding him he won’t tell me what’s bothering him.”
“Grey too. He sat in his office all night last night and when I finally got sick of it at two in the morning I found him just sitting there, staring into space.” She grumbles, her eyes strained.
We talk for a few more minutes, our exchanges desultory and half assed before I beg off the salon thing and we both rise to leave. I’m a whale right now and can’t make it ten steps without a break for my poor feet so by the time we get outside into the sunshine I have to stop and cling to a laughing Lila to catch my breath.
I can’t tell you what makes me turn my head to the left and look over at the opposite side walk. Hell, all I can say is that my spine tingled and my receptors sat straight up. But I do, I turn and squint at the hotel across the way, taking in the cars and people and…
Devon, my Devon, holding another woman. Close, like full body contact close and looking down at her affectionately before leaning down and planting a kiss on her cheek.
It all clicks into place for me, mostly because I recognise the woman he’s with and the way she’s clinging to him, just like in those pics I’d seen on the internet after Ryan’s little TMI moment.
The distraction, his silence, the way he hasn’t fully met my eyes.
He’s having an affair with his ex, that piece of garbage slag who’d refused to accept his family. That beautiful, gorgeous pinup princess who doesn’t look like an ad for the Wildlife channel.
“Er Beck.”
“I see him.” I choke out; digging my fingers into Lila’s arm so forcefully she lets off a squeak and tries to pull away. “I see him.”
“Oh God Beck, I’m so sorry. This is-”
“Don’t tell anyone. Promise me.” I demand when my veins finally start pumping blood again-only because the pair stopped hugging long enough to walk into the hotel!-and I can straighten and pull myself together.
I feel numb, closed off, empty in the space of a minute and as the coldness creeps in I savour the detachment that comes with it. Maybe it’s silly, but I feel steadier than I have in days.
This is…so fucked up and yet I feel as if I’ve arrived at a place I’ve been anticipating for so long I know the taste, sound and feel of it all. I’ve been waiting for this, just waiting for something to go wrong and now that it has I feel more solid.
“Beck.”
“No. Promise me you won’t tell anyone what we’ve seen. Promise me Li.” I snarl, making up my mind before she nods and looks down at me with a sad expression I neither want or need.
“Promise. But-”
“Good. Now go, I have something to do.”
“What? No! You and I are going in there to kick both of their asses!”
“Nope. I’m not humiliating myself that way. I have something much more effective in mind.”
****
“Just call him first! That’s all I’m asking.” Dillon yells, throwing me the same look he’s been giving me since I left Lila and turned up on his doorstep. “You can’t just leave things this way. Call him and get his story before you throw away everything on a revenge move Beck.”
I give in and pick up my cell but only because the damn romantic idiot won’t stop haranguing me about how I’m giving precious Devon a bum rap.
He answers on the third ring and I smile nastily at the tone in his voice, wanting nothing more than to slap his smug face one last time before doing what I should have done months ago.
“Imp? Where are you babe, I’ve been worried. I got home and you weren’t here. You know you’re not supposed to be overtaxing yourself right now.”
I seethe at the false concern there and just barely stop from smashing the phone to bits. Deep inside, under the betrayal though is a little spark of hope, the idea that maybe Dill is right and I’m wrong, that Devon has a completely reasonable explanation for seeing his ex and lying to me.
That if I just hear him out and shove my hurt pride to the side, things will turn out okay.
When the feeling settles I feel myself calm enough to speak, something I haven’t been particularly good at, but have to work on if Dillon is right and I need to stop being so defensive and quick to judge.
“I’m at Dill-”
“I told you-”
“I came here to talk to him. He’s my friend and I can trust him. Something I can’t say for you since you’ve been lying to me Devon.”
I hear his indrawn breath and then a sigh, his tone so sad and accepting that I have to close my eyes against the rush of tears I didn’t realize I’m holding back.
“Imp you have to understand I didn’t want to hurt you. We’ve both been so stressed with the situation at home and we only now just found our footing. I didn’t want to risk it.”
Yeah, I’ll bet buddy. You want me at your freaking disposal. If you told me before I would have been long gone and you can’t handle the thought of not getting your way.
“You should have just been honest with me Devon. I’m a big girl you know, I can handle a lot more than you think.”
“I know, I just…forgive me imp.”
My eyes close on a sigh and my anger drains away, leaving me defeated and sad. Of course I forgive him. This situation is not entirely his fault, it’s mostly mine. I’d forced us both into this predicament by lying to myself and wanting something he warned me months ago he couldn’t give.
Of course he would tell me he loves me, what guy wouldn’t when faced with the threat of having his kid raised by another man? Not Devon, never Devon.
He takes family very seriously, something I should have factored in when I made myself a part of his life and started putting the screws to him.
Dammit!
“Look, why don’t you come home and we can discuss things. We can continue as we have been, we just need to talk things through. We can still go ahead with the wedding; we just have to work around our commitments and of course your father-”
So not happening asshole.
“No. I can’t do this. I won’t do this. I’m not coming back. The wedding is off.”
Chapter Twenty Five
Dev
Two hours later I am so frantic I can’t sit still and have just managed not to rip my office apart from sheer frustration.
I should have told her the truth about her father from the beginning instead of keeping things away from her, but coward that I am I’ve been trying to juggle my business and this situation while convincing the Slade’s that keeping their family in the dark is not the right move.
And then yesterday Gia had called and requested a meeting.
I’d refused at first since just the sound of her voice is enough to make me sick but some part of me had needed closure on that situation. We’d been together, had been prepared to marry for God’s sake-no, I wanted her to know that I’ve found someone who not only wants me and the lads but who loves us and wants to build a life with me, with all the noise and laughter and love she hadn’t been prepared to give.
I’d
wanted to rub it in her face and show her what she’d thrown away. I wanted her to know that she wasn’t the love of my life and that no amount of beauty could trump the perfection I have now.
Yeah, I’d wanted to rub her face in it.
And then she’d dropped the bomb that her father has passed and left her his company and I’d felt so sorry for the pitiful woman I’d offered her comfort and set about finding her a cracker of a CEO to help her run the multibillion pound dinosaur that is Crafts, her father’s company and a money bleeding eyesore in today’s business world.
“What did you do mate? She was fine this morning when she left.” Davy accuses, giving me a death glare that’s hot enough to strip skin.
“I didn’t tell her about Brand. He’s sick and-”
“Nah mate, nah. Hun has a temper and I can see how she’d be pissed off you didn’t tell her but she wouldn’t pull a runner for that. She’d come home, kick you in the bollocks and then make you find a way to fix this. Something ain’t right.”
My phone rings and I answer before the second ring can come through, ready to demand some answers, okay, ready to beg when I hear a loud growl and cursing over the line.
“You better not have fucked another woman after telling my sister you loved her asshole. I just got an earful from my wife about seeing you touching some other chick and now I have to fly to Vegas to watch my scamp marry some asshole who likes it both ways! What the fuck did you do?”
Oh Jesus.
“I am not having an affair. I met with Gia to help her set up a meeting with John Buchannan. She needs a CEO to take over Crafts and-oh Christ. Imp saw me and thinks-”
“Yeah asshole and she threw a fit and went to-”
“Where the fuck is she!”
I’m panicking now, of course I am because I realize that the conversation we had was not about my omission about her father but about her seeing me with Gia and Jesus! I’d bloody well made it sound like I am having an affair and that I basically want an open marriage and-
“Vegas asshole. She caught a plane to Vegas with that chump Dillon and she said we could get there and watch her get married or we can miss out. You better fix this.”
I don’t hardly hear the rest of it because I’m already running for the door, Davy and Ry hot on my heels.
***
I make it to Las Vegas, just barely holding on to my sanity by a thread and though Lila is still spitting mad I managed to calm Grey enough to get the truth and the details out of her.
Imp, my imp, is somewhere in this God forsaken city ready to marry another man and pledge not only her life but the life of my child to another.
“Where are we going!”
“Lila said they’re at The Sunset Chapel!” I yell back, running for all I’m worth and praying, pleading with whatever power that is, that I’m not too late.
I make it to the door before the others can catch up and rip it open, my heart in my throat and beating so fast I feel woozy, only to stop in my tracks when imp comes to a stop directly before me, her swollen body covered in a white, flowing summer dress, her hands clutching a bouquet of flowers.
“Am I too late?”
Chapter Twenty Six
Becky
There are a very few things in life that I regret as much as I do this. Not because I should feel guilty and most definitely not because he deserves my emotions, but because I know that I have fucked up somewhere, badly and that it’s gonna bite a chunk right out of my ass.
“Am I too late?”
I hear the words but I’m so shocked that he’s here, that he’s got the gall to think he belongs here that all I hear and feel at the moment is a roaring scream of soul screaming pain.
I’d turned up at Dillon’s, my mind and body working on autopilot, urging me to do something, what I needed to do to fix this so that I can come out at the end, not whole, but still somewhat intact enough to survive seeing him again.
Because honestly? As much as I want to fool myself into thinking all this emotion is anger I have to be real here. I hurt like a mother effer. There’s a hole in my chest wide as the freaking Andreas Fault and so deep I don’t even know where to start building to fill that bitch up.
I’d been so happy, like hysterical happy, after he’d said he loves me and that I’m his perfect match, that the betrayal I feel now is almost a physical wound that keeps gushing blood.
“Imp.”
“Hey babydoll, you ready for the photog!”
Devon’s eyes dart behind me to the grinning idiot that is Dillon-I don’t even need to look to see his smile, since he’s had the thing all damn day-and I see them harden before they settle back on me, the light completely extinguished.
“Bleeding balls, tell me you did not marry that poof.” I hear, looking away from Devon’s intense stare to see that Ry and Day standing behind him, their expressions so hurt and hostile I can’t compute it for a second.
And then I realize what they’re saying, what they’re all thinking and I want to scream in denial. Because I know that no matter what I feel it’s not fair on them. They think I’vethrown them all away, abandoned them and left them for something better, as if they’re not the very best, my ideal.
“I did not marry that…don’t call him that. But to be clear, we are not married.” I say clearly, swinging my gaze back to Devon and watching his shoulders relax infinitesimally. “Not that I wouldn’t have since I’ve been on something of a bender today, but he’s been in love with some-his exact matches for some time now and they finally decided to stop messing around. I’m his bestgirl/ring bearer.”
Yeah, and while I’d been a little pissed that my revenge marriage wasn’t gonna happen, I am beyond thrilled to know that Dill has finally taken that final step out of the closet and that it wasn’t too late for him to go back to Danny and Phil, the other two thirds of his love triangle.
Apparently they’d split up because Dill wasn’t ready to out himself to others, namely his father. He told me when he’d answered the door and introduced me to the man and woman in his living room that my courage in telling Devon how I felt had given him the push he’d needed.
Long and short? I’m the fourth wheel to this ménage but oh so happy to see him so happy. The only problem now is that I’m still exactly where I don’t want to be. Alone.Hurt. Aimless.
I have no home, no job and no one to turn to now. I could call Grey and he’d have a house and a bank account ready and waiting for me. Hell, the man would probably roll out a cot next to his bed and tuck me in at night if need be.
But I don’t want that.
I’m ten seconds away from having my birth canal savaged and becoming a mom so I know I need to at least make a cursory effort to stand on my own two feet and not run back to my big brothers because some asshole hurt my feelings.
“Wait, you’re not leg shackled? For real? See Dev, I told ya our girl would never leave us this way.” Day says, grinning and sweeping me up in his arms.
The contact gives me the comfort I didn’t know I desperately needed and I hug him back, grasping hold of his wide shoulders and bury my face in his neck.
This is, not exactly home for me, no that’s the rat bastard who’s still glaring at me, but the scent of his skin, a mix of sweat and some woodsy cologne stills the tremors that have been quaking inside me enough that I feel the world shift and settle.
He’s laughing when I finally let go because my belly is so huge the hug consisted more of him folding himself double to get at me and I giggle back, closing my eyes on a sigh.
“So listen, I can’t leave now ‘cause we still have to do photos and Dill wants to have a lunch-”
“Are you coming home? That’s all I need to know.” Devon growls, his eyes still glued to Dillon and the pair standing beside him.
The question throws me for a couple reasons. First because the moment he’d said the word home I think of that hodge podge of colours and patterns and my heart almost cracks with longing. Second because I can�
�t hardly believe he thinks he has the right to growl at me that way. Third because I don’t know how to answer him without things blowing up.
Yeah, I see that twitch dancing at his right eye lid and knowing him if I say no and turn away like I’m tempted to do he’ll go batshit crazy and ruin Dillon’s day.
“Sure. Just let me finish up. I’ll see you at home.” I finally concede, avoiding his eyes to give Day and Ry both a kiss and another hug.
“We need to talk.”
No shit.
“Yeah.”
“Tonight. I’ll send the lads back to the jet and wait for you outside. Make your excuses. You have a half hour before I come back in here and fetch you. And no, do not test my patience right now because as far as I know you shouldn’t even be flying right now.”
“Fine, alright! Just give me a chance to go do what I have to.”
I swear to hell and back, as crappy as I feel now if Devon Baxter so much as breathes wrong in my direction I’ma be raising this kid after putting his father in the morgue.
Chapter Twenty Seven
Two hours and a lot of nail biting later I’m on a private jet, my feet up, the boys chattering happily around me about the shit fit Devon had had, his panic and the next football match which just happens to be the game to end all games.
Yeah, we take that stuff that seriously.
Oh and have I mentioned that Mr Personality has been sulking and glaring at me the whole time? As if I’m to blame for any of this. I mean, he’s the one who says things he doesn’t mean and then went off to put his filthy hands on some other woman while I’m waddling around like a bloated hippopotamus incubating his seed.
Talk about being an ungrateful asshole.
And no, I don’t feel like I’m all bitter and in need of therapy; I’ve been watching Dr Phil, he’s all the man I need right now and very into self-examination.
Wyatt (Lane Brothers #1) Page 82