It’s as I’m making my way to the front door that I hear the first sounds since getting here and I turn to see mama rushing towards me, dad a ways behind her.
“No, wait Becky! Please, just wait.”
I turn at the door and stand mute, waiting for her to make her way to me and drag me-
“No mama, I can’t sit in there. My ass is way too heavy for those sticks.” I grumble, pulling away gently.
Her eyes mist at the mention of my pregnancy and she pauses, her eyes skipping down to rest on my belly.
“Oh my baby, you’re-”
“Huge. I know.” I snort, trembling when she rests a gentle hand on me. Junior, the little attention hog chooses that moment to stretch and do a somersault in my overly cramped confines and mama giggles.
“No, you look lovely.” She whispers, smiling softly.
The expression on her face is wistful and I feel like shit when I realize that with my stupid stubbornness she’s lost out on almost all of my pregnancy.
Stupid.
“Thanks, but I have a mirror mama. This kid is like two times too big for the condo and he eats like a champion.”
“He’s a Slade then.”
The sound of dad’s voice is so loud I finally turn my eyes towards him and gasp when I see him properly for the first time in months. Gone is the robust giant of a man I remember and in his place is a sallow, leaner version.
“What the hell?”
“Ah sugarplum, let’s go on into the kitchen and talk while mama whips us up some coffee and cookies. I’ve got a lot to tell you and a lot of apologizing to do.”
I don’t eat or drink anything because I can’t possibly get anything down with this lump in my throat.
He tells me everything about the last few months and the pain and testing and…but I won’t focus on any of that, not after they tell me that the treatments worked and he’s in remission.
And then he apologizes for everything and I cry harder when he admits that the only reason he was so hard on us all is that he wanted to be sure we’d be okay when he was gone.
I can’t think about that without feeling my heart try to beat straight through my chest in fear. I’ve spent the last seven months of my life resenting my parents for hurting me when all along they’ve been going through hell.
Dad could have died thinking I hate him and don’t want him and mama in my life. My kid could have been born without his grand pappy and now, after messing up so monumentally there’s a chance he’s gonna be born with his time split between two households.
“I messed up dad.” I say after a while, breaking the comfortable silence. “I saw something and immediately thought the worst and now…”
“Aw sugarplum don’t cry. Tell me what’s up and we can fix it.” He soothes, his bony arms enfolding me for a split second before mama wrestles me away and shoves my face into her breasts.
I choke out a laugh and snort when the action brings on comfort instead of the horror I’d previously met it with. Mama’s got some big knockers and if I’m not careful I’ll be trying to climb my way out of them for the next year.
“Tell mama who hurt you and I’ll kick their asses.”
“No. Not…I did something dumb and now I’m afraid there’s nothing I can do to fix it.”
I tell them everything, everything, though it’s mortifying to admit a one night stand to your parents and then have to confess that you’ve been living with a man who you treated like a piece of meat.
“Sooo…”
“Oh Sugarplum, you are so much like your mama I can’t stand it!” Dad laughs, his shoulders quaking so hard I have to grab him and keep him from falling off the chair and onto his ass.
“Would you stop laughing, this is serious.” I yell, throwing a cookie at him and rolling my eyes at mama. “The father of my child, who you so owe an apology to by the way, is ready to cut me loose and you’re laughing. Go freaking figure that I’ll fall for someone and mess it up.” I mutter, glaring when he laughs harder and wipes his eyes on a sigh.
“Darling, your mama pulled one of them one night stands on my ass the first time we met. I woke up to an empty bed the next morning and an ache in my heart that cut me deep.”
“An ache in your heart Brandon Slade? Is that what we’re calling it these days?” Mama snort, casting a glance at his junk.
“Oh gross mama. Seriously gross.”
“Now, now baby, I told ya’ll before, you weren’t found under a cabbage leaf. You were made-”
“Oh stop! I endured four months of barfing already, don’t make me start again.”
That gets dad chuckling but he sobers quickly and gives me a look that tells me he’s going serious on me.
“Like I was saying, we had one night of passion and the fool woman got it in her head to run. By the time I found her she was knocked up with Greyson and spitting mad at me for getting her that way. I spent a long time convincing your mama that I wasn’t looking for a quick lay and a few visitations with my kid.”
Mama snorts indelicately at that and gives him a slow eyed once over and I grimace.
“Seriously? You’re telling me about how you seduced my mother?”
“No baby, I’m telling you that it took a lot of effort and one very unfortunate incident-I was young and stupid and horny-to get my head outta my ass and just go full throttle. Your mama kicked me out of our bed and went to see a lawyer about divorcing me after three months of marriage.”
“No.”
“Oh yeah sugarplum. I fell for her and then did something really dumb and she kicked my ass to the curb. Hurt my pride I’ll tell ya that. I hurt her and she did her damn best to hurt me in return. So I thought about giving up and letting her be, like maybe she deserved more than a man who couldn’t give her what she needed.”
“What did you do?”
I ask because obviously something worked and as much as I love Ry and Day, those boys have made some diabolical plans for me and I’d really rather avoid that humiliation thank you very much.
“Well, I went and got drunk and ended up at home, staring at my old man and the boot he was ready to plant up my ass. I told him everything and know what he said? He said if you know that you’re no good for her let her go, but if you think you have it in you and you know that no one will love that girl the way you do, then you shouldn’t give up. I knew that no one would ever feel half of what I did for your mama so I swallowed my pride and did what I had to do.”
“And it damn well worked. The man swallowed every scrap of the damn stuff and followed me around like a hound dog. He’d tell everyone within spitting distance that he belonged to me and then he said that he’d love me forever even if I never felt the same way.” Mama finishes, leaning over to kiss him sweetly. “Best decision I ever made letting go of all my anger and giving him another chance.”
“Wait, are you telling me you…what exactly did you do, besides putting the moves on her?” Iask, shivering with revulsion at the thought of my pops giving mama the same looks Dev used to give me.
“I slept in her bed everynight, even when she turned away or flat out ignored me. I told her I loved her every chance I got and on that last night, well let’s just say the country club got an ear full of my feelings when I got down on my knees and begged her not to leave me.”
Brandon Slade on his knees? Begging forgiveness?
The concept is so laughable I giggle, stopping only when my mama grins and nods once, her eyes alight with glee.
“Your daddy had one hell of a time living that one down but I can tell you he never messed with me again. We may be an old married couple and I may be a stay at home wife while he takes care of me and everything else around us but I have never been easy to trust. Your dad had to earn it.”
Oh snaaap!
“But maaama, he’s being such a dick about it he won’t even talk to me.” I whine, giving in to my natural inclination to hear them reassure me.
Not this time though.
“So you do all the talk
ing till he eventually hears you Beck. Now I’m not saying I’ll take too kindly to that man treating you poorly but if you’ve slapped that mules ass you’re gonna have to take a kick or two to the head for your efforts. Make him see that you’re worth a second chance and…if that doesn’t work then you move along and accept it. At least you’ll have tried instead of running or hiding like you’re prone to do. Now enough gloomy talk, who wants ice-cream?”
And just like that I’m okay. I may not be a hundred percent happy right now but I know that as long as they’re here for me I’ll be okay.
I hope.
Chapter Thirty
I’m officially nervous. And sweating. And there may have been an incident that involved a bar of dark chocolate. But I’m okay now or okay as I can be having moved all my stuff back into his room and getting into his bed as if he hasn’t just thrown me out.
According to mama the best way to get a man to his knees is a sexy nightie and his sheets, on his bed, caressing your skin.
I’d agree if not for the fact that I feel about as sexy as a freaking cold sore on prom day.
It’s late, everyone has eaten and gone off to their separate rooms and Devon still hasn’t made an appearance. I’ve been waiting for just on an hour now and though I want to be alert and ready for his arrival I fall asleep somewhere around midnight, my heart a little more bruised by the thought that he’s doing something that’ll ruin what little we have left.
Gia, that rat fink, is still in the States and I have a sneaky suspicion that her stay could have something to do with his lateness. My first reaction is to slink back to the guestroom and pretend I don’t care but mama’s words haunt me as I drift into the void and I harden myself, determined to at least try before I give up and admit failure.
The sound of cursing and a thud bring me out of the dream I’m having and I sit up with a moan, squinting into the darkness at the hulking shadow stumbling its way toward the bed.
I don’t make a sound and shuffle back under the covers, hoping to go unnoticed before he strips down and joins me. It’s only when the sheets lift and he slides in, his heated skin making contact with my extended belly that he realizes he’s not alone and I hear a curse before the light blinks on.
My eyes squeeze shut and I regulate my breathing as best I can before he realizes that I’m awake enough to kick my ass back to my own room.
“Rebecca?”
Curses, I freaking hate it when he calls me that. I hadn’t realized until now how very much I’d become enamoured of his pet name for me but now that he’s distanced himself I long to hear that stupid name so badly.
I let off a tiny snore and shift onto my back, snuffling deeper into the bed. He pokes my once and leans over me, his breath hitting my nose with an alcohol count that makes me lightheaded.
“Rebecca. Becky.” He slurs drunkenly. “Wake up.”
When I don’t I hear him groan and flop down on the bed, his colourful cruses making my lips twitch to the point that I have to bite my lip to keep from laughing outright.
The light shuts off and I feel him shift around before relaxing back with a sigh. When his breath starts evening out, not quite at the point of sleep but close enough I make my move and roll over, planting my belly on his side and snuggling into his neck.
Poor Dev. He stiffens and tries to shift away, but he’s already manoeuvred himself so close to the edge that there’s nowhere to go.
“Bloody hell.”
I’m on tenter hooks waiting for him to either shove himself to his feet or shake me awake and send me packing when I feel his arm shift me closer and his other hand come to rest against my stomach.
The action is so him and so gentle that I want to whoop and cry at the same time with relief but I don’t, instead a lie there quietly and enjoy the closeness I know won’t last once the sun comes up.
It’s a start though and one that makes me believe that I have a shot, dismal though it is, at bringing him a step closer to listening to my apologies.
********************************
“Rebecca. Wake up. Come on woman, wake up.”
I swim out of the delicious dream to insistent shaking and the sound of Devon’s muttering, growling in displeasure.
I’d been dreaming of a field of wildflowers, one that surrounded me in colourful splendour and peace as I lay relaxed and supine, his hands stroking lovingly through my hair as we laughed and loved and spoke about nothing more serious than baby names and the colour of the minivan he wants me to get.
When I come fully awake I stretch and kick at the sheets, freeing myself from the cobwebs in my brain. I feel wonderful and rested and-
“I said wake up woman. We need to talk.” He snarls and my eyes pop open to see my very pissed off man standing at the foot of the bed glaring at me with distaste. “Cover yourself.”
I look down to see that my nightie has ridden up, exposing my lower half and the bottom swells of my breasts. There are two ways for me to play this according to Ry, first I could stretch again and give him a long, drawn out view of my junk or second, I could sit up and cover the goods.
The boys have assured me both will get a reaction and while I want to believe them I am woefully sure that the sight of my ginormous stomach is in no way sexy and seductive so I sit up and yank my nightie down, shielding myself from his angry gaze.
“What the hell are you doing in my bed? And why are your clothes back in the closet?” he demands, planting his hands on his hips.
I swallow and look down, almost swallowing my tongue when I see that he’s wearing nothing but a towel and that water droplets from his shower are wending their way down his body, collecting in the terrycloth where it’s knotted neatly low on his hip bones.
The sight has me swallowing again, this time for a wholly different reason and I feel my cheeks heat when my nipples bead and my core clenches wildly.
“Rebecca!”
“Oh, uh, er.”
I have the wildest urge to start screaming the word carrot over and over again because nothing and I mean nothing makes my brain turn to mush like the sight of Devon Baxter parading around in his natural state.
I quash the urge, but only just, and pick my head up to meet his livid eyes. Oh man, he really is not pleased to have me invading his room.
“I, needed to talk to you?”
His lips turn up in what I can only describe as a sneer and he shakes his head and rolls his eyes.
“You’ve brought all your clothes back in here. I do not want you in here. At all. So I suggest you get to work removing them back to your room and then please, stay out of my way.”
“But Dev.”
It’s hard to talk when he turns away and walks into the closet, his firm ass bunching deliciously beneath the damp white towel, giving me a mouth-watering view of the muscles I’d been privileged to squeeze only nights ago.
Dammit, I want those buns back. And the abs and the mouth and hands. Oh and the di-
“Stop eyeballing me and get up. You have an hour to move all of your belongings to the other room or-”
“What? What will you do huh? I’m not moving, I’m staying right here where I belong and that’s that.” I say, finally finding my tongue when he pulls on a pair of boxer briefs and pulls slacks from a hanger.
That statement has him coming up short and I watch his face harden as he zips himself up and comes storming back to the bed, his eyes so cold I want to shrink back and agree to anything as long as he stops looking at me that way.
“What?”
“You, you heard me.” I stammer, grinding me teeth in an effort not to cry. “I’m not moving. This is my bed too.”
“No. This is my bed. The bed I had to beg you to come to if I remember correctly.”
Oh Lord. Am I gonna have to hear about this for the rest of my freaking life! I hope so since that would mean that we’d still be together and fighting as usual. Oh, the dreams I have.
“Yeah, but I did get in here eventually and I
like it here.”
Good Slade, stand your ground.
His nostrils flare for a beat before he nods and stalks into the closet.
“Fine. I’ll move.”
“Uh, you’re wasting your time Devon.” I sing to his retreating back, my lips curving into a smile I don’t feel. “I’ll just keep moving to wherever you are.”
“Oh for God sake! What do you want from me!” he yells, throwing the armful of clothes to the floor and stomping back. “Get it through your head. I. Do. Not. Want. You. Anymore.”
Don’t cry Beck, remember, nothing worth having is ever easy. You can do this.
“That’s okay. I want you enough for both of us.” I say, flinging the covers back and struggling to my feet. “I love you enough that I can take whatever it is you want to throw at me.”
It’s true, but the problem is that he’s right, it’s not loving him that’s the problem, it’s the whole trusting him to love me back that I have trouble with.
Oh well. I guess I’ll just have to get over it. No way am I willing to tuck tail and scamper away. Not yet. Not till I’ve given it all I have.
“Jesus.”
“I’m gonna go make you some breakfast for that hangover you’re nursing. No, that’s okay, I don’t need help with my slippers, my body is so totally meant to bend this way.”
“This isn’t going to work.” He warns when I rise and start waddling for the door. “It’s too late.”
“It’s never too late to fix things Dev.” I whisper back, keeping my back turned to hide the tears I can’t stem anymore.
I hope I’m right, God do I pray.
Chapter Thirty One
The breakfast I cooked is eaten by Day and a hung over Ryan while the object of my affection sits stonily eating cereal that looks like cardboard and probably tastes just as good.
The rebuff hurts, stinging my pride but I push the feeling away and keep up a steady flow of chatter the whole time, making plans to go see Day’s next football game and to attend one of his practices.
“You sure you’ll still be here Rebecca? Last I checked you’re about as reliable and trustworthy as a vegetarian butcher.” Devon growls, grinning at the colour that hits my cheeks. “Why next week you could be off to Vegas with another one of your friends.”
Wyatt (Lane Brothers #1) Page 84