She started to storm into the house to look for her mom when Thomas grabbed her by the arm to stop her.
“Think of your mother,” he said sharply. “She’s unwell, and you have nowhere to go, no one to look after her.”
Sasha thought of Chris. She wrenched her arm free. “Yes, I do.”
Chapter Thirty Five
Julia was furious when she found out she had to leave England. She’d grown fond of Aunty Mabel and Gerald, and even had a soft spot for Olivia, who seemed to latch onto her like she was the mother she’d never gotten to know.
“I’m not happy about you pushing me from pillar to post, Sasha,” she’d said. “You need to make your mind up about that man. Either you love him or you don’t.”
“I don’t,” Sasha replied instantly. “I know that now.”
The only bit of Thomas Lloyd she loved was his cock. However, the man attached to it was cold-hearted. They could never have a satisfying future together.
Her mother remained angry throughout the whole flight home. It was only when Chris met them at the airport that she perked up.
“See, Mom, I knew you’d be happy once we got you home.”
Julia glared at her daughter. “We’re not going home though, are we?”
She was right. Sasha just didn’t feel safe going back to their home. She’d arranged for them to stay with Chris instead.
When she saw him, she felt so relieved. They hugged tightly. She had her best friend back.
“Don’t ever do that to me again,” she said. “I need you, Chris. I need you on my side.”
“I’m on your side,” he replied.
***
Chris had lived in the same house since the end of high school. He’d worked since a young age, saved up, and with some help from his parents, bought the little place at the age of eighteen. Five years later the place had become a home, filled to the brim with his trinkets. He’d played soccer in high school and won quite a few medals that were displayed proudly on a homemade shelf.
“You two can take my room,” Chris said. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”
As Sasha readied herself for bed, she remembered losing her virginity to Chris here. It had been a tender moment. They were in love, the best of friends, and they respected one another. There was nothing kinky about it, just a moment of amazement as they’d learned for the first time what it felt like to unite in that way. She’d never realized sex could be anything but a beautiful experience between people who loved one another—until she’d met Thomas and learned it could be a frantic, animalistic act between people who loathed and loved one another in equal measure.
Being with Thomas Lloyd had changed her irrevocably and entirely. She would never be the same again. She would never be the innocent girl who liked flowers and candlelit lovemaking. Something had awoken in her. She’d learned what her body was capable of and anything less than what Thomas gave her would never be enough for her again.
She realized then that her mom was wrong. She didn’t need to make her mind up about Thomas at all. She could love him then hate him then love him again. It was part of the thrill. It was part of what made their partnership unique. Her leaving him, him leaving her, her chasing him, him chasing her, her betraying him, him betraying her, it was just a rollercoaster that they were riding together. Without all the drama, it would be boring.
It hit Sasha then that she’d lived her whole life in the same way that she’d experienced her relationship with Chris. She’d always pretended that she was a risk-taker because she’d flown the nest and gone off to college, but really, she’d been taking the sensible route. She’d worked hard so she could get a good, stable job and a nice little income to buy a boring apartment and turn into Kelly drinking wine alone on Friday night with her cat. Every decision she’d made had been sensible, right up until the point she’d met Thomas Lloyd. He’d flipped everything on its head. Nothing would be the same again. And she didn’t want it to be.
Sasha waited for her mom to fall asleep then slipped out of the bedroom, along the corridor, and onto the porch. She took her cell phone with her. Thomas had called fifty times. She called him back.
“At last,” he said.
“You’re persistent.”
“I’m sorry. I wanted to make sure you found somewhere to go.”
“Don’t be sorry. Your persistence turns me on.”
There was a pause on the other end of the line. “I’m sorry?” Thomas said.
“Is this a bad line or something?” Sasha said sarcastically, repeating his words from earlier.
“Sasha, what on Earth has gotten into you?”
“Nothing. And everything.” She shook her head, trying to get her thoughts into some kind of order. “Thomas, I like what we do to each other. I like the drama. The highs and lows. It makes me feel alive.”
“Does that mean you forgive me for sleeping with Alicia?” he said.
“No. But I like hating you as much as I like loving you.”
“That’s fucked up,” came Thomas’s reply.
“But it’s true.”
She listened to the silence of Thomas mulling it over in his mind. “You’re right. Now what?”
“Now you tell me exactly what you did to Alicia. I want a blow-by-blow account. Every lick, every suck, every thrust.”
“You’re fucking crazy,” he said, but he was laughing as he said it.
“I’m comfortable with that. So. Tell me. Take it from the top.”
She heard Thomas inhale. “Well, we were at the Atomic interview. I was pissed at you, and I needed to let off some steam. So I told Alicia to pour us both some wine. I came up from behind and slid my hand inside her blouse—”
“That was me, Thomas,” Sasha interrupted. “You’re confusing it with what happened on the plane.”
“No, I’m not. That’s how I did it with her, too.”
Revulsion coursed through Sasha. “You’re a fucking pig. Were you thinking of her while you fucked me on the plane?”
“Quite the opposite,” Thomas replied. “I was thinking of you while I fucked her. I repeated the whole experience on the plane with you because I wanted that exact experience again, but with the right person.”
Sasha’s rage calmed. “Fine,” she said, coldly. “Go on.”
“Do you need me to? Can’t you picture it now?”
Of course, Sasha could imagine it more vividly since he’d gone through almost exactly the same motions with her, but she still wanted to hear Thomas say it. She wanted to feel that intensity of emotion—the hatred, the passion, the anger. The more he made her feel, the better.
“Tell me,” she repeated.
Thomas sighed and explained how he’d made her come with his fingers then bent her forward and fucked her hard and fast from behind.
“Did you come as hard with her as you did with me?” Sasha asked, feeling a knot of anger rolling in her stomach.
There was a pause before Thomas said, “I didn’t come at all.”
Sasha sat stock still. “You didn’t?”
“She doesn’t do it for me like you do, Sasha,” he replied. “No one does.”
Sasha felt the familiar sensation of affection seep into her. She was about to ride another part of the rollercoaster, the part where they reconciled and had explosive, lustful, romantic sex.
“Come back to England,” Thomas said. His voice had lowered to a sultry whisper.
“No,” Sasha replied.
“You’re still mad at me for fucking Alicia,” Thomas said with a heavy sigh. “Why did you make me recount the whole thing if it was just going to rile you up—?”
“No,” Sasha said, interrupting him. “That’s not what I mean. I mean I’m not coming to England. I want you to come here.”
Thomas cottoned on. Sasha wasn’t saying no to a liaison; she just wanted it on her own terms.
“Meet me halfway?” he replied.
A thrill of excitement coursed through Sasha. This was why she’d falle
n for Thomas Lloyd. For the spontaneity. For the adventure.
“Where do you have in mind?” she asked.
“Iceland. Reykjavik. I’ve always wanted to fuck in a hotel made of ice.”
“Now who’s crazy?”
“I’m booking the flights now. I’ll meet you there. Oh, and Sasha?”
“Yeah?”
“Buy some birth control pills, will you? I want to feel all of you.”
She snapped her phone shut and closed her eyes as anger, pleasure, and power pulsed through her veins. For the first time in her life, Sasha realized what it meant to be alive.
Chapter Thirty Six
Sasha had never flown halfway across the world just for sex before. She realized that Thomas must want to make it up to her so bad after what happened with Alicia. She made a mental note to get mad at him more often.
Her mom had told her not to go. She’d said that Thomas was bad news. As much as she loved England and Aunty Mabel and Olivia, she couldn’t bring herself to fully trust the man who’d turned her life upside down. Julia told her daughter about men she’d known in the past who behaved like Thomas, erratic, blowing hot then cold, who loved the breakup as much as the makeup. Sasha had shot back at her, “Is that why you married Dad? A nice, sensible man who left you when you got ill?” Sasha didn’t like arguing with her mom, but Julia just couldn’t understand why her daughter still decided to take that flight.
Sasha touched down in Reykjavik. It was the height of winter, which meant the sun never rose. Twenty-four hours of darkness meant no way of knowing where one day ended and another began—the perfect setting for a marathon makeup sex session. Lucky also, because the hotel only existed in the winter months. It would have melted by April. The idea that their moment here would be just a snapshot in time added to the romance of the situation.
The hotel was made entirely of ice and glass—the floor, ceiling, and all the furniture. It was beautiful and insane. It was certainly going to be one of the more memorable experiences of Sasha’s life.
Sasha was wearing a huge down coat, beneath which she’d worn Thomas’s favorite of her Amore outfits. It was so cold she could feel that her nipples were hard beneath the sheer top.
She went up to the woman standing at the counter made of ice.
“Do you have a reservation?” the woman said in her thick Nordic accent.
“Yes. It’s under Lloyd.”
“Aha. Mr. Lloyd arrived several hours ago and has gone to the saunas. He’s booked out our largest suite for your stay. It’s one of our art suites, whereby the furniture has been sculpted by a local ice carver. Would you like to follow me?”
Sasha shivered as she was led through the glittering tunnels, her stiletto boots clicking as she walked.
The woman stopped by a frosted glass door and pushed it open. “Enjoy your stay.”
Sasha stepped inside the room. The art piece was an intricate sculpture surrounding the bed. The bed itself was also made of ice. There was a real fur cover and a mattress. Sasha considered undressing and posing for Thomas but realized she’d get far too cold. He’d have to warm her up first.
Butterflies fluttered in her stomach at the thought of being reunited with Thomas. She knew he’d be desperate to make it up to her, and that would result in as many orgasms as she demanded.
She heard the door click open. Thomas had returned from his sauna. His cheeks were pink, and he had sweat on his forehead.
“You made it,” he said. He strode forward to kiss her, but she turned her cheek.
“I’m not ready for kisses,” she said haughtily. Then she flashed him a mischievous grin. “My cunt on the other hand…”
Thomas needed no more instruction. He dropped to his knees and began pleasuring her in the way only he knew how.
***
Thomas made love to Sasha for hours, following every single one of her instructions and giving her orgasm after orgasm. He, himself, was not allowed such a luxury. She was too mad at him to give him the satisfaction he desired, and it made her feel powerful to deny him that ultimate release.
“You can come when I’ve forgiven you,” she told him.
“How many orgasms will that take?”
“I haven’t decided yet.”
He smirked at her. “Fine. Two can play that game. No more until you forgive me. No more touching, kissing, not even speaking. I won’t even look at you until you suck my cock.”
“You’re a fucking asshole.”
“You’re a fucking goddess.”
She grabbed him by the shoulders and mounted him. He slid into her easily. It was the first time they’d fucked without a condom, and Sasha could feel the difference right away. It was softer, warmer, and felt even better than she could ever have imagined. Thomas felt it, too.
“Thank God you finally bought the pill.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “Shut up.”
She pressed her hot mouth against his and began moving her body against him. It felt so good. She groaned into his mouth, as her kiss deepened and pace increased. She felt like a woman possessed, drunk on the power of her sexuality. The sensation of the fur against her skin was incredible, a whole new experience to add to her catalogue of things she’d felt only with Thomas Lloyd.
***
Thomas and Sasha lay in one another’s arms, completely exhausted.
“I’m surprised we didn’t melt the bed,” Thomas said with a laugh.
“How long have we been here?” Sasha murmured. Sex with Thomas disorientated her sense of time at the best of times, but without a setting or rising sun, it was even more disorientating.
Thomas consulted his watch. “Ten hours.”
“Shit,” Sasha said, sitting up. “That means mom’s awake. I didn’t want to call her when I landed because it would have been in the middle of the night.”
She searched frantically for her cell phone and finally found it.
“No signal. I’ll try going outside.” She wrapped herself up in the down coat and gave Thomas a long, lingering kiss. “Don’t fall asleep on me,” she warned. “I have plenty more tricks up my sleeve.”
He smirked, as she sauntered from the room.
As Sasha strolled through the ice tunnel corridors, she felt more powerful than she ever had before. She’d reached a whole new level of enjoyment with Thomas, one in which she was completely free to explore whatever her body felt like. Thomas wasn’t only completely open-minded, he was downright eager. After years of fucking women in the only way he could to hide his body, being open and naked with Sasha had released a whole new side of him. Together, they would explore every inch of one another, making a map of each other’s bodies.
Sasha pushed open the doors to the hotel. High above, the Northern Lights were swirling in the sky. She had signal, so she called Chris’s home.
“Chris, you won’t believe how beautiful it is here,” Sasha gushed when he picked up the phone.
“Sash, I’ve been trying to call you.”
“I’m sorry, I had no signal. Is Mom there?”
“That’s why I was trying to call you. I’m sorry, Sash. Your mom passed away.”
Sasha blinked once. She felt the cell phone slide from her grasp. Then she was on her knees, the cold snow penetrating into her skin.
Chapter Thirty Seven
Thomas held Sasha’s hand tightly, as they walked to the front of the church. Beautiful lilies adorned the whole place, making a fragrant, calming smell. Thomas had paid for the whole funeral to make sure Julia got the best send off.
“Thank you for doing this,” Sasha said. “For the record, I forgive you now.”
A sad smile pulled at Thomas’s lips. He kissed her forehead.
Her heart clenched, as she peered over to see her mom in her casket. She looked so peaceful surrounded by white silk.
“She wanted to die in her home. She never got to because of me.”
Thomas pulled Sasha tightly into him.
The funeral was well a
ttended. Along with Olivia, Nina, Aunty Mabel, Gerald, and Gertrude, the dog, Julia had made many friends in the online MS community throughout her life, and Thomas paid for as many of them to attend as wanted to attend. It had reached the thousands. The local news station had caught wind of the situation and had come down with a camera crew. Sasha felt comfort knowing her mom’s death would bring awareness to the horrible illness that had claimed her life.
The wake passed in a blur. Thomas and Sasha had to leave early to prepare for the court case, which was set for the following day.
“At least I don’t have to pack two outfits,” Sasha said, wryly.
They made it to the law office where the preliminary discussions were going to take place in the hope of settling out of court.
Coming face-to-face with Pippa again made Sasha’s blood run cold. The conniving woman had enabled Olivia’s drug addiction and had pretended to befriend Sasha while plotting her life out like she was nothing more than a pawn in a game of chess, before sinking her claws into her best friend.
Pippa looked immaculate and showed not even a hint of remorse.
“Sasha, darling,” she said. “So soz about your mom. Oh and Thomas, Bill sends his undying affection.” She smirked.
As Pippa’s lawyer leaned over and warned her not to say another word. Sasha narrowed her eyes and clenched her fists. She was seething. Pippa had engineered the whole Bill situation after all, just to mess with her.
The argument lasted for hours. But in the end, Carla had an offer to put on the table.
“If you drop the charges, she’ll destroy the gag order.”
Sasha looked at Thomas. Not having Pippa pay for what she’d done didn’t seem right. But at the same time, destroying the gag order that prevented them from talking about the theatrical element of their relationship under Pippa’s instruction would mean they were free. It would make her unemployable as a publicist ever again, but it would also keep her out of jail, a place where she needed to be.
In the end, Sasha and Thomas agreed that jail wasn’t the sort of place they wanted to send an Oxford graduate like Philippa Wutherington. Telling their own story in their own words was much more important.
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