I want to be insulted by his comment but his words have just the opposite effect. I’m so turned on; I’m pressing my thighs together as I try to suppress a moan that is bubbling up inside my throat.
Tracing his knuckles down my back, he stops just above my butt and adds, “And believe me… If you were mine, I’d never want you to hide behind none of this frumpy ass shit that ol’ boy has you in. If you were my woman, I’d want you to show off those thick thighs, that perfect round ass, and that tiny waist I was holding on to last night. You know that’s what you need, right?... To let loose.”
“Please stop,” I say. His hand is still on my back when I turn around so he can see the pleading look in my eyes. At least I hope it’s pleading, but it’s possibly desire because he doesn’t remove his hand. He gives me that arrogant smile of his as he moves his hand up to my nape. I close my eyes and almost give in to what I’m feeling, but I’m snapped out my haze by a ringing phone. I realize it’s mine and it’s Daryn’s ring. “I have to get that, it’s Daryn.”
Sidestepping Quin, I move toward my ringing phone. “Hello, sweetie. Is everything okay?”
He tells me that everything is okay and it’s taking him a little longer to access the files. He wants me to ask Quinton if he can wait about twenty more minutes because he is waiting for Peter’s secretary to get back to him with an additional password he needs. He also tells me to offer Quin something to drink while he waits. Quinton agrees to hang around for the additional time and smiles at me. I try not to look at him. I turn my back and feel guilty so I tell Daryn that I love him and I disconnect the call.
“So… I have twenty more minutes with my Society Girl.” He walks over to me and without any hesitation; he slams his mouth against mine. There is nothing gentle or sweet about the way he takes me, but this doesn’t surprise me. I expected him to be the type to take what he wants without regret for his actions, but I am surprised by my own reaction. I don’t try to pull away. I place my hands on his hard chest and when I moan, he slips his tongue between my parted lips, exploring every inch of my mouth.
Quin’s large hands are all over me roaming my back and squeezing my backside, making their way back up to my nape and pulling on my hair. This is passion, fierce and rough and I love it! I don’t want him to take his mouth away from mine. I then feel air against my upper legs and I know that he is lifting my dress. His hand makes its way up the back of my thigh and skims the edge of my sensible seamless panties.
Crap! I’m wearing grandma panties. This revelation brings me to my senses.
“Shit! We have to stop!” I can’t believe I’ve behaved so out of character. I run into Daryn’s personal bathroom and lock the door behind me.
I stare into the mirror watching my chest heave as I take in deep, panting breaths. I think I might throw up because I can’t seem to catch my breath and my face feels like it’s on fire. I’m caught in a dilemma because what I really need is to splash some water on my face but I know Daryn will question me if he comes back and my makeup or hair are out of place. I settle for putting some cold water on a towel and placing against my neck. The cool feeling calms me until I hear a knock at the door that I pray isn’t Daryn.
“Yes?” I say trying to sound as normal as possible.
“It’s me.” I let out a shaky breath at the sound of Quin’s voice. I’m glad it’s not Daryn but I still feel quite shaky after my behavior and Quin’s voice just stirs up the guilty feelings. “You alright?”
“I’m fine. Give me a second, okay?”
“Come on Sasha, baby. If I have this kinda affect on you, it’s gotta be somethin’ here. You know it and I know it. Don’t front… Daryn hasn’t ever made you feel anything like I just made you feel.”
He’s right. In the three years I’ve been with Daryn, I’ve never felt even a miniscule amount of the passion I felt when I was kissing Quin just now. But that’s not the point here. I’m engaged to be married to Daryn and nothing is going to change that. Even if I wanted to call off the engagement, I couldn’t. Something like that would cause an upheaval in my family life and I don’t want to be responsible for any embarrassment to my family.
I get myself together. I fix my hair and pat away the shine from my face. I then open the door and step out of the bathroom. Quin has taken a seat on the leather couch in Daryn’s office and stares at me as I cross the room and open the small fridge sitting beneath the wet bar. I bend down to grab a bottle of water and hear Quin groan behind me.
“Would you like something to drink? Water? Juice? Something stronger?”
“Water.”
I grab a bottle of water for Quin and one for myself. I hand him his bottle, open mine and down half of it in one go. “I’m sorry, Quin. You really don’t understand. My life… my life isn’t really my own. I have no choice. I have to marry Daryn. It’s what’s expected of me.” I sit down in one of Daryn’s client chairs. I let out a sigh. “You said it yourself. I’m a ‘Society Girl’. It’s where I belong. Daryn and I’s marriage was practically arranged and it will be mutually beneficial to both of our families.”
A sarcastic sounding laugh finds its way to Quin’s lips. “You hear yourself, right? What kinda shit have your folks been teaching you? I ain’t heard shit about love, hell I ain’t even heard you say you want to marry, ol’ boy.”
Again, he’s right. I haven’t mentioned any of those things and as I sit here I feel like I might start crying if I don’t get out of this office soon. I’m saved from myself when Daryn comes back into the office. He’s so focused on his work that he doesn’t even recognize the tension in the air.
“Okay, Quinton. I finally got all the papers together that you need to sign. We’ll file these early Monday and you’ll be set up with those new investments you discussed with Peter.”
I stay quiet as they conduct their business. I feel any words I may say will come out strangled so I hope I’m not asked anything. Quin gets up and gives me a glance out of the corner of his eye as he makes his way over to the small round table in Daryn’s office. He signs the necessary documents and the two shake hands as they finalize their deal.
Daryn turns to me and he must notice the distress on my face because he gives me the strangest look. Instead of acknowledging what he sees he turns back to Quin and says, “Was my Sasha a good hostess?” He chuckles. “She needs to get in all the practice she can at being a hostess since catering to me and entertaining my guests will soon be her full-time job.”
What the fu…
I whip my head up. All guilt immediately leaves my body. Daryn is smiling like some stupid Cheshire cat and Quin at first looks uncomfortable but when he sees the mortified expression on my face – that Daryn is oblivious to – his expression turns to fury. He sees how Daryn’s words have affected me and I shake my head slightly as if to tell him to calm down. I know he wants to rip out Daryn’s throat out for basically reducing me to a concubine, but I regain my speech and remind Daryn that we need to be leaving so we can get to the dinner party at the Harris’.
“Oh, right, Honey. We should really get going.” He gathers the papers Quin has signed and puts them into a file folder. “We’ll show you out. You two can go ahead and head to the elevator while I lock these in my desk,” he says holding up the file.
Quinton and I leave Daryn’s office and head toward the elevator. I’m determined not to say anything, but as soon as we clear the office door Quin makes his objections known.
“I know what he said has everything to with that Society Girl shit you gotta deal with, but if you want me to go back in there and fuck his shit up, I will. That shit was completely disrespectful. You know it too. I could see it all over your face. That asshole is supposed to be your man and he can’t even tell… Never mind.” He reaches out to touch me, but instead reaches for the elevator call button when we hear Daryn’s approaching footsteps.
We all get off the elevator and go our separate ways. I look over my shoulder and I see that Quin isn’t hiding the
fact that he is staring at me. I turn back to Daryn as he rambles on about how Quin’s account is will clinch the partnership for him. I smile and nod as I’m supposed to, but my mind is with the man across the lot. I only met the man yesterday and I’m completely taken by him.
Five – No, no, no!
I’m so glad that I was able to convince Daryn to drop me off at my apartment after the dinner party at the Harris’. They’d discussed Quin’s substantial investment for most of the night and it made me very uncomfortable, though no one noticed. Hearing them discuss Quin as if he was somehow less than them because he was in the music business had bothered me to no end. I thought it was funny that they could be so happy about handling so much of his money and brag that he was one of their richest clients, but look down on the way he makes his money.
My thinking is that he is no different from any person sitting at the table that night. He gets up every morning and works hard just like they do and has had nothing handed to him. From what I understand (during my Google search), he started from very humble beginnings. He thought he wanted to be a rapper, but when his mother got sick, he knew he had to get a paying job so he ended up in the mailroom at a local record label.
Delivering mail to the executives, he realized that the money wasn’t in performing; it was working behind the scenes. He approached one of the executives one day asking if he could work for free at some of the events they were hosting and was able to gain a lot of experience. He worked his days in the mailroom for a check that helped take care of his mother and sister, but he also did whatever he was asked at night and he did it all without receiving any pay.
He made such a good impression that he moved out of the mailroom, started working as the assistant to the head of A & R at the label, and was able to go to school part-time. He graduated with a business degree, deciding to make his minor Music Production and the rest developed from there. His mother died and though she’d only been a secretary, she’d had a substantial insurance policy. After paying her expenses, he used the rest to start a small label and built that into what is now, Watch Records.
After my research, I had more feelings for the man. He’d been willing to sacrifice his dream to take care of his mother and sister without a second thought. From what I understand, his sister just recently got her Graduate Degree. She is working in the Public Relations division at Watch Records. They are ten years apart in age, but every article seems to say that they are very close.
***
I am very tired when I wake up the morning after the dinner party. I spent all night with my eyes glued to the computer as I researched Quinton Ramsey. I discovered loads of information that was very useful and some not so useful like what woman he dated and when. He’s spent a lot of time with actresses, models, and women in the music industry which had me feeling depressed. There is no way a man who could have models and actresses would want anything to do with a socialite from Atlanta – not that I was available or anything.
I’m not able to wallow in my self-pity for too long because a hard knock on my door has me crawling from my bed.
I swing the door open and find Neesa standing there holding the card that came with my flowers in her hand with a look on her face that said I have some explaining to do. “What the fuck is this? You sent me a message saying to go along with whatever you said about the flowers, but you didn’t give me any other details. Then I’m looking for some paper and a pen to take a message for you and I find this,” she says waving the card at me.
I grab her hand and drag her into the living room. I love Sunday morning’s with Neesa because I always get to hear about the fun she had the night before. I haven’t had a chance to talk to her since our breakfast the previous morning and I have so much to tell her that she may not even be able to top what I have to say.
I tell her about how shocked I was when the arrangements arrived and how nervous I was when Daryn arrived and started asking me about them. When I tell her about Daryn’s comments about how a woman would have to be doing ‘something extra’ to get flowers like that, she starts going off. I rein her in enough so I can tell her about the rest of my day.
When I finish telling her about what happened at the office, I turn to her and see that her jaw is practically on the floor. I know how she feels because I was there and I still can’t believe it either. My body still hums every time I think about Quin’s lips and hands all over me.
She closes her mouth and opens it a few times before words finally pass her lips. “You slut!” She says this, but she is smiling and displaying all of her perfect teeth. “I knew you were my best friend for a reason!” She starts to laugh and says, “I can’t believe that Quin was about to knock out Daryn, I wish he would’ve done it. Now that would’ve been a good story!”
“Stop, Neesa. How would I have explained that one? You know Daryn would’ve blamed me. He would have accused me of doing something to anger Quin while he was in Peter’s office gathering those files.”
“Yeah, probably so. Daryn thinks he says and does no wrong. But what he said was really over the top. So does Daryn expect you to quit working for the charity once you’re married?” Neesa asks this as she makes her way to the kitchen. I follow. She pulls out orange juice and champagne and starts to make mimosas.
“A little early don’t you think?”
“Hell, no! This story calls for a drink. I’m being modest because I want to pull out that scotch you have stashed away for Daryn and take a couple shots of that.” Neesa makes each of us a drink and I sit down at the breakfast bar while she searches for ingredients to make breakfast. “So… How do you feel?”
“What do you mean?”
“You know. About Quin. About what happened. And what do you plan to do?”
Neesa places fruit, kale, and orange juice on the counter. She starts to chop the kale, throwing it in the Ninja blender while I sit quietly contemplating her inquiry. She stops and looks at me as if she is trying to encourage me to say something. I don’t really know what to say. Quin has stirred up something in me that I can’t quite explain, but I have a commitment to Daryn and I know I have to honor that commitment. The choice here is obvious, but I really don’t want it to be. I want to be free to explore my feelings for Quin. I like the way he makes me feel but I already know that this is a fantasy that won’t happen. I need to focus on my engagement to Daryn and forget that I ever met Quinton Ramsey. I tell Neesa my feelings and she genuinely feels sorry for me. She allows me to wallow for a minute while she blends the smoothies and then voices her opinion as she pours the green smoothies into two hi-ball glasses and slides one over to me.
“Sasha, you’ve been my best friend for a long time now so I know what kind of lifestyle your family leads. But you are a grown woman and you cannot continue to let your family dictate what happens in your life. First you give up your dream of being an anchor or a publicist to work part-time at a charity and now you’re giving up your chance at love to marry someone simply because it’s what’s expected. When do you get to do what you want? Let your sister have all that. This isn’t you and you know that,” Neesa says and takes her smoothie and disappears into her room leaving me with my thoughts.
Neesa is right again. This isn’t me and even Quin said as much in Daryn’s office yesterday. I know I’m the oldest and should be the example, but if I feel unhappy and trapped. What kind of example will I be? And what if we have kids? How can I teach them about happiness and love if I’m stuck in marriage based on status, money, and name recognition? I don’t know what to do. But I can’t think about that right now because I have to get ready to go to brunch with Daryn and his parents. I’m sure he wants to tell them the news that Peter has decided to promote him to partner, if he hasn’t already. Lord! That’s just another nail in my coffin. Now that he’s being promoted to partner, I’ll be expected to quit my job sooner than I thought.
***
The beautiful spring weather must’ve prompted many people to have the same idea be
cause the country club is full of people enjoying brunch when Daryn and I arrive. As we walk over to join his parents at their usual table, people conveying words of congratulations on Daryn’s promotion stop us several times. I know immediately that Ella is the reason so many people already know about Daryn’s promotion.
“Mother. I see you’ve already made your rounds,” Daryn says as he bends down to give his mother a kiss on the cheek.
She kisses him back. “Darling, I couldn’t help myself. It’s such wonderful news and all these people are potential clients.” Ella continues to stand and I know she is waiting for me to greet her so I walk over and brush cheeks with her. I don’t want to risk getting any lipstick on her and be blamed for ruining her makeup. “Sasha, Darling. You look beautiful. That’s right darling… play up your assets. You have those Michelle Obama arms; you should show them off more.”
I’m mildly surprised at her compliment. I chalk it up to the fact that she must be on a high from the news of Daryn’s promotion. “Thank you,” I say sitting down in the chair, Daryn has pulled out for me. “Hello, Judge.”
“Sasha. You look lovely as always,” Daryn’s father says to me. He’s the only sane one among our families. He’s even more down-to-earth than my own family. He doesn’t buy into this whole society lifestyle; he only goes along with it to keep Mrs. Bryant happy. His laid back attitude comforts me when I have to deal with Daryn and his mother at the same time.
The Judge’s parents were farmers and he grew up on a farm. His father wanted something better for his son so they saved up every penny they had to send Daryn’s father to Morehouse – although his father was rewarded enough scholarship money to pay his tuition. Daryn doesn’t like to talk about the humble beginnings of his grandparents, but I think it’s very commendable.
I blush. “Thank you, Judge. You and daddy getting along this week?” It’s a running joke in our families that the two judges are in competition with one another. They get along just fine, but when they get together, they act like two little boys trying to one up the other as they brag about the number of criminals they’ve put away or complain about incompetent juries. Judge Bryant brings out the best in my father who can be quite the hard man.
Circles the Trilogy (Secrets and Lies) Page 5