by S. M. Shade
“Yeah, when she isn’t waiting for me to chain her in a dungeon.”
“A misunderstanding,” he replies, with a wave of dismissal. “Call her before you fuck up a good thing.”
I throw a couple of combinations to try to shut him up. He doesn’t understand, and I can’t say she broke my goddamn heart without sounding like a pussy. “Worry about your own sex life.”
“Would you rather hear how I bent Cooper over the arm of the couch and fucked him until he begged for mercy?” He drops his guard, and I take advantage, getting him to the mat and into a leg lock. “Fuck,” he swears, tapping out.
We spend another hour sparring and working on Alex’s technique. When we flop onto the bench, Parker tosses us each a bottle of water and joins us. “You’re not blocking his reverse punch.”
“Yeah, thanks, Captain Obvious.”
“Don’t make me drag you back out there and whip your ass.”
“See how he has to wait until I’m already exhausted to talk shit?” Alex asks me, and I shake my head at them. They could go on all day. “Tell this idiot to call Everly,” he says to Parker.
“Alex.” My voice holds a warning.
As usual, he ignores me. “Don’t you think he should at least try to work it out?”
Parker glances at me, a serious expression on his face for a change. “Look, man. I’m not going to tell you how to handle some chick, but I do think Everly is…different. She’s good for you. For once, a woman isn’t tripping over her own tongue just to get to you. She doesn’t seem to give a shit about your money. Hell, she fought you every step of the way.” He laughs, and I try to keep the grin off my face when I think of tricking her into our first date.
“I don’t know if it’s love or lust or whatever, but you were happier with her. I’d think about it. That’s all.”
“If I promise to think about it, will you both shut the fuck up?” Alex’s phone rings and after a quick glance, he sends it to voicemail.
“Dodging Cooper already?” Parker teases.
“No, wasn’t Cooper.”
“Got a new guy?”
“Of course not.” Alex starts removing his footgear.
“So, who was it?”
“Since when is it any of your fucking business?”
“Since you’re acting so shady.”
“Alex,” I interrupt. “Is everything okay?”
“It was Indiana State Prison,” he admits reluctantly.
“Gene’s been calling you?” I ask, my voice tight.
“A few times.”
“Have you talked to him?” Parker demands.
I put a hand on Parker’s chest. “If Alex wants to talk to him, that’s his choice, Park.”
“I haven’t answered. He’s left messages. He wants to see us.” He looks up, his light brown eyes slightly hopeful.
“I don’t give two fucks what the bastard wants,” Parker spits, stalking off to the locker room.
I agree with him, but I don’t want Alex to feel he’s being ganged up on. “Alex, if you want to go talk to him, I’ll understand. Don’t worry about Parker.”
He shakes his head and asks softly, “You don’t want to see him, just once? You don’t have anything to ask him?”
“Like what?”
“Like why!” I sit back as he leaps to his feet, pacing. “Or how the fuck could he? Why didn’t he think of us? He was our father!”
I pull him back down beside me, cupping the back of his sweaty head in my palm like I used to when he was young and upset about something. “No. Because no answer he gives would satisfy me.”
After a few seconds, he nods. “I get that.”
“Just do me a favor and let me know if you decide to visit or talk with him, okay? Parker doesn’t have to know, but I want to know you’re all right.”
“I don’t know what to do, but when I decide, you’ll know.”
“Okay then. Let’s go see if Parker’s over his tantrum and grab some lunch.”
Chapter Two
Everly
Ian rolls up his car windows when a shiver runs through me. “Ev, you okay?”
“Mmm Hmm.” Nothing is okay. The last twenty-four hours is a jumbled mess in my head. Mason holding me in the lazy river. Danny shoving my head underwater. Laughing in the haunted house. Hiding behind an abandoned house, frozen in fear. Mason’s smile when he said he loved me. His devastated expression when I accused him of hurting women.
“Mason told me everything, Ev. The underground network, your…misunderstanding.”
“I can’t talk about it right now, okay? Please.”
His hand squeezes my knee. “All right. For the record though, I think Mason’s a good guy.”
“I know he is.” He’s far too good for me.
Ian escorts me home and flops onto my couch, grabbing the remote. “I appreciate you coming to get me, but you don’t have to stay and babysit. Danny’s locked up. I’m safe.”
He gives me an exasperated glance when I sit beside him. “Uh-huh.” A little smirk appears on his face as he continues to channel surf.
“I mean it. I’m fine. You can go.”
Sighing, he presses mute and tosses the remote on the couch. “Ev, you’re sluggish from the sedative and covered in road rash from jumping from a moving car. You don’t think we have some things to talk about? You could’ve killed yourself. What the hell were you thinking?”
Shame sweeps through me, flooding my cheeks with color. “I couldn’t do it again. Just be another…worthless hole for strangers to fill. I heard him talking about money for girls and all I could see was Frankie, smiling, telling me to behave so he could love me.”
His expression softens and he takes my hand. “You were never worthless. You know that. None of it was your fault.”
“I know.”
“You freaked out.”
“I guess so.”
“You accused the guy of sex trafficking, Pup.”
“I know. I fucked everything up,” I moan, resting my forehead on my palm. “I was so scared to let that guy get me in Mason’s car. I’d have done anything to escape.”
“Obviously,” Ian murmurs, putting his arm around me. “I don’t blame you for being afraid. Frankly, the fact he drugged you really pisses me off. You weigh, what? One twenty soaking wet? He could’ve controlled you.”
“He was protecting the women he rescues. I don’t blame him. God, if I’d have brought the cops to his door, I’d have fucked up so many lives.”
“But that didn’t happen. Everyone is fine.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Did you tell Mason that?”
I slump back on the couch, the weight of my guilt pulling me down. “Of course, but I don’t think ‘I’m sorry’ is enough after accusing him of something so horrible. His face when he realized what I meant…shit, he was devastated.”
“I’d imagine. You broke his heart. Look, Ev, I don’t know fuck all about relationships, but I know when a guy has lost the fight. He loves you. It’s all over his face when he says your name. He’s a goner.”
“It doesn’t matter now. He’ll never forgive me, and I don’t blame him.”
Ian sighs and brushes my hair out of my eyes. “You don’t know that. You need to talk to him. You’re right, sorry isn’t enough. You need to explain why you reacted that way. I know you hate to talk about it.”
“No one knows but you,” I whisper.
“You’ve never talked about it with anyone? None of the therapists or counselors they made us see at the home?”
I shake my head, and Ian pulls me into his embrace. “It’s time, honey. If you love him, you need to let him in, let him know you so he understands your fears.”
“I’ll think about it. Right now, I’m exhausted. I just want to sleep. I still have to figure out what to do about BTC, whether to go back. I don’t know.”
“You don’t have to have all the answers tonight. Get some rest.”
Retreating to the bedr
oom, I toss and turn for nearly an hour, haunted by Mason’s heartbroken expression before I finally fall asleep.
Ian has left for work when I wake up the next morning. My body feels heavy as I wander into the kitchen and grab a donut before plopping on the couch. Chunky ass be damned. Today, junk food is my friend.
I don’t know what to do with myself. I’d usually be at Striking Back today, but there’s no way I can go there now. I’m sure there’s some rule that you don’t visit a man’s place of business after calling him a sex trafficker. While Striking Back was a big part of my days, and losing it will leave a hole in my life, it’s nowhere near the crater that losing Mason has left.
It’s only been twenty-four hours and I’m already miserable. His absence leaves me hollow and bleak, devoid of hope or purpose. Okay, maybe I’m being a little melodramatic. I was fine before I met Mason and life will go on without him. The man I love. People get dumped all the time, right? I mean, life’s a bitch and love’s another. I just need to keep busy so I won’t think about him.
As if in response to my thoughts, Bill Carlin, the owner of BTC, rings my phone. Shit. Is he going to ask me not to return? “Everly? How are you?” he asks after I accept the call. His voice is thick with concern.
“I’m fine. How is everything at BTC?”
He sighs. “Things are calming down. We’ve replaced Mr. Fennel with a new counselor, who the boys seem to like. I wanted to call to apologize for putting you in danger. I swear I ran background and criminal checks on that asshole, and they came back clean. If I’d thought for a minute he’d hurt you or anyone else…”
“You can’t always predict psycho. It wasn’t your fault.”
“I just want you to know you’ll be safe here. We’d hate to lose you.”
“I love the kids and have no intention of leaving my volunteer position,” I assure him. “Do you know what this afternoon’s schedule is like?”
“It’s park day. The whole group will be at Garfield Park if you’d like to join them.”
“I’ll be there, Mr. Carlin.”
“I’m glad to hear it. If you have any issues at BTC, please let me know. I’ll let the kids know you’re coming.”
“Thanks for calling,” I reply, and disconnect the call. I force my stubborn body into the shower when all I want to do is crawl back under my covers and feel sorry for myself.
No matter how hard I try to keep him out, Mason invades my thoughts. As I wash, I close my eyes, recalling the feel of his strong hands lathering my hair when I was hurt. So gentle and caring. How could I have thought he’d hurt anyone? Once again, my issues have fucked up something good in my life.
My first day without Mason is long and tiring. I hit the gym, spend hours playing with the kids at the park, and go grocery shopping. Once I’m home, I clean my apartment, wash all my laundry, and rearrange my bookshelf. I’ve done my best to wear myself out, but to no avail. I still cry myself to sleep, staring at the empty space in the bed beside me.
* * * *
The next few days are the same. I wake and struggle to find random ways to fill the hours until I can crawl into bed again. The gym. Book club. Drinks with Marie, BTC. Nothing feels right. Nothing can fill the Mason shaped hole in my life. Before him, I’d been alone for so long, ran from any kind of emotional relationship, that I’d forgotten how it felt to have someone. To love someone.
I hate this emotional shit. Why did I have to fall for him? And how much longer am I going to suffer because of it? Every day I want to call him and apologize, ask for another chance, but I can’t make myself do it. After nearly a week, I’m shocked when Mason calls me.
My finger trembles as I press accept. “Hello?”
“Evie, it’s Mason.” His voice is hard, his words clipped.
“Uh…hey.”
“Listen, I just got a call and your friend Macy has been taken to Community Hospital.”
My heart leaps into my throat. “What happened? Is she okay?”
“I don’t know the details. I’m on my way to find out now.”
“So am I,” I reply frantically, pulling on my shoes.
“She’ll be okay. You be careful driving, you hear me?”
The concern in his voice sends an equal amount of hope and shame through me. Even after what I’ve done, he still cares. “I will. Mason…” I hesitate, bursting with so much I want to say, but this just isn’t the time. “Thanks for calling.”
“You’re welcome. I’m just pulling in the lot. I’ve got to go. Drive safe.” The call disconnects just as I jump into my Mini. I promised Macy I’d keep in touch after I dropped her at Striking Back, but I let my own shit get in the way of checking on my friend. Thank goodness I’m only a few minutes away from the hospital.
I spot Parker leaning against the wall outside Macy’s room. His eyebrows jump up when he sees me. “Everly! Hey, I guess you heard.”
“Mason called me. Is she okay?” His hand wraps around my arm when I try to enter the room.
“She’ll be okay. You can’t go in right now. Cops are in there taking her statement.”
“Cops? What the hell happened?”
Parker’s eyes darken and narrow. “Her dickwad ex-boyfriend happened. She insisted on going back to work, since he hadn’t bothered her in weeks. We had security escort her to her office door, but Al was waiting inside, hiding in the goddamn bathroom. He worked her over pretty good, Everly. It’s not pretty.”
Two officers leave the room, and Parker accompanies me inside. The sight of my usually vibrant friend looking so small and defenseless brings tears to my eyes. She has a large tube taped to her side and a cast covers her left ankle. Her face is a patchwork of bruises and puffy red skin. I hardly recognize her.
“Don’t cry,” she orders. “You’ll get me started again.”
“Oh, Mace, that son of a bitch. I’ll kill him.”
“Get in line, sweetheart,” Parker growls.
“Do you want to tell me what happened?” I ask, sitting beside her and taking her hand.
“Jensen, the security guy, walked me to the door, and I told him I could take it from there. I mean, the damn door was locked…I never thought…anyway.” She shakes her head and continues. “I hadn’t been to work since I moved into Striking Back. I don’t know how the hell he knew I’d come in today. The first couple of hours were fine, and it felt so good, Ev, to be back to normal, you know?” Her eyes fill with tears.
“It’s okay.”
“No, it isn’t. I just wanted a piece of my life back, but the bastard has to take everything! He was hiding in the women’s bathroom, and when I went in, he just started hitting me, screaming that I was a whore. My ankle snapped when he kicked it, and I fell to the floor. That’s when he started kicking me in the face and chest. Janet, my assistant, must’ve heard something because she opened the door and saw him. She screamed for help, but by the time Jensen got to me, Al was gone.”
“We’ll get him,” Parker says, his voice ice cold. “I swear to you. I’ll find him.”
Macy nods, wincing, and presses the button on her morphine pump. Her face relaxes and she looks up at Parker. “He’ll show up here to finish the job while I can’t run.”
Parker sits carefully beside her on the bed and motions to the chair by the door. “That’s my chair until you’re discharged, honey. I’ll be right there guarding this room until you go home. If I so much as take a piss break, your door will be locked. Get used to this pretty face because you’ll be staring at it until this is over.”
“Thank you,” she slurs, the drugs taking over.
“Get some rest. You’re safe with me.”
Macy’s eyes slam shut, and I wipe the tears from mine. As Parker moves from her bed toward the chair, I grab him in a firm hug. These brothers are too good to be true. “Thank you for watching over her.”
Gently, he hugs me back. “It’s what I do.” When he releases me, I look up into the clear blue eyes I’ve been missing for a week. A mischievous s
mile crosses Parker’s face as he spots his brother. “We’re busted, baby,” he says to me before turning to Mason. “Wasn’t my fault, bro. She was all over me. She’s relentless. Don’t blame her, though. It’s this new cologne…drives the women crazy.”
Mason smirks and slaps him on the back of the head. His expression sobers when he regards me. “I talked to the doctor. She has a broken ankle, two broken ribs, and a punctured lung. She’ll fully recover, but she’ll be here at least a few days.”
“I should get her some clothes, her stuff from S.B.”
“Ms. Den is handling that.” I hate the detachment I hear in his voice.
I nod, unsure what to say next as a nurse steps in and smiles at us. “She’ll be sedated and sleep until morning. You may want to come back then.” She turns to Parker before leaving the room. “I’ll have a cot brought in for you.”
Mason raises his eyebrows, and Parker laughs. “I told her I’m the watch dog.”
“I’ll send Devon to relieve you tonight,” Mason offers.
“No, I’ve got this.”
“Suit yourself. I’ll come by in the morning.”
“I guess I’ll go,” I tell Parker. “Call if she asks for me, okay? My number’s in her phone.”
“Sure thing.”
Nervously, I turn to Mason. “Can I talk to you? Just for a minute?”
His adam’s apple jumps as he swallows. “Let’s grab a coffee in the cafeteria.”
It’s early afternoon and the cafeteria is nearly empty as I slide into a booth across from Mason. He hasn’t said a word since we left Macy’s room. My hand shakes as I reach to take his. “I’m so sorry, Mason.”
“You’ve said that, Evie. I know you are.”
“I want to explain…why I thought…”
“I was a predator luring vulnerable women into a life of sexual slavery?” His hard tone doesn’t conceal the pain in his voice.
My gaze falls to the table. “You have every right to be pissed at me, to hate me. I’m not trying to make excuses. I just want a chance to tell you why I jumped to such a horrible conclusion. There are things you don’t know—nobody knows—but I can’t talk about it here. Can you come by tonight? Just give me a few minutes and I won’t bother you again.”