“Things could be worse. I could be going to boarding school, or your parents could move you to public school.” I gave him an encouraging look. When he simply scowled in response, I lifted my long wooden brush and dabbed white paint on the end of his nose. For a heartbeat, we both gaped at each other, stunned at what I’d done. Breaking the trance, I burst out laughing, doubling over in a fit of giggles.
Nico finally gave in, a wide grin spreading across his face. “You think you’re pretty funny, don’t you?”
“Oh, I know I’m funny.”
“If you’re so tickled at yourself, you can do the honors of cleaning up your little mess.” Shaking his head, he took my wrist and pulled me toward the back of the room. The other students continued painting, ignoring our antics, and our teacher was absorbed in grading exams at the front of the room.
I walked to the large utility sink, but the paper towel dispenser was empty. “Let me grab a new pack of towels.”
Nico followed me into the large walk-in supply closet full of a vast array of art supplies. We both scanned the shelves that lined the small room, searching for the paper goods.
“There,” I said, pointing at a cardboard box on one of the top shelves.
Nico stepped closer, his eyes falling from the shelf down to where I stood below. The softness I’d brought to his features with my attempt at levity fell away, a determined intensity darkening his cobalt eyes. His body closed in on mine until I could feel his body heat touching me, tempting me. Our gazes stayed locked, and my head swam with nervous anticipation.
He was going to kiss me right there in the art supply closet.
But it didn’t matter where we were. I wanted that kiss so badly, we could have been in a bathroom for all I cared. My heart tapped out an erratic rhythm in my throat. My hands suddenly became hot and sweaty, unsure what to do. While his gaze never wavered from my wide eyes, mine kept straying down to his full lips.
It felt like an eternity, when, in reality, his slow descent to bring our lips together only lasted a handful of seconds. Then, the moment I’d envisioned a million times over was finally happening. His warm lips pressed softly against mine. It was our only point of contact, but that one single touch electrified my entire body. My eyes drifted shut as neither of us moved, both lost in the sensation of our first kiss. There was no tongue or movement, just a simple touch, but it made my heart swell with love.
When he pulled back, my face split in a wide grin that matched his own.
“A little something to think of when I’m missing you this summer,” he said shyly, digging his hands deep into his pockets awkwardly.
“I’ll find a way to see you, I promise.”
“Not even the cops could keep me away. Now you go back over to the sink before we get written up, and I’ll get the towels down.”
I followed his instructions, pulling out a new package of towels from the box he brought over, then removing one from the bundle to wet in the sink. With gentle dabs, I wiped at the white paint still adorning his nose.
“There, all cleaned up.” I smiled up at him, noticing his eyes dart to where our teacher was working.
“Looks like we better get back to our table.” He gestured with a lift of his chin.
Realizing we were being watched, I spun and hurried back to my stool. Twenty minutes later when the bell rang, I glanced at Nico’s canvas. In place of the black lettering, he had painted a large red heart adorned with the black dots of a ladybug.
***
We both counted down the days until Nico’s sixteenth birthday. We had survived our summers apart and seen each other more at school than we had expected, but we still longed for a time when we could be together whenever we wanted. He didn’t live within walking distance, and Staten Island didn’t have the same public transportation as they had in the city, so it was hard for us to see each other outside of school. With a driver’s license, Nico could visit me anytime he wanted.
When the big day arrived, it started out like any other Wednesday. I rushed through my morning routine, then got to school and hunted down Nico. This time, instead of a morning hug, I greeted him with his birthday present wrapped in shiny green paper. His parents didn’t have much money, so he had a crap iPhone 3 that died all the time. I’d saved for months to give him the new iPhone 5 that had just come out and couldn’t wait to show him. I thrust the package at him, bouncing in place I was so excited for him to open it.
He shredded the gift wrap in two second flat, his brows drawing together when he saw what was inside. “Sof, I can’t accept this. It’s too much.”
“Antonico Conti, don’t even think about refusing my gift. That phone means I can text you anytime I want without having to wonder whether it’s you or your phone that’s dead when you don’t text me back. It’s purely selfish, so no arguing.” I raised a brow, drawing a smirk from him.
“If I wasn’t saving for a car, I would have bought a new one myself. Thank you, Ladybug, I love it.” His hand snaked around my neck and pulled my lips to his for a chaste kiss. “Later, when we aren’t at school, I’ll thank you properly,” he purred close to my ear.
My cheeks blazed with warmth. “You coming over later?”
“Ma got off work and is grabbing me at lunch to take me to the DMV since their lines take all day. I’ll miss school this afternoon, but I’ll come by your place when I’m done—driving by myself.”
I grinned up at him, so happy to see the joy on his face. “Confident you’ll pass, aren’t you?”
“Today is going to be an amazing day. I can feel it.”
His optimism was infections, making me giggle as he planted one more kiss on my cheek. “Alright, birthday boy. I need to get to my locker, but I’ll see you after school. Good luck!”
“Thanks, Sof!”
I shook my head as I watched him strut down the hall, saying a little prayer that everything went smoothly with his driver’s test. Nico was the best part of my life. I shared everything with him, aside from the fact that my dad was in the mafia. I’d debated over and over whether to tell him about my family but couldn’t seem to do it. I hated to mar our relationship with that side of my background. It served no purpose except as an outlet for me to vent, so I allowed the secret to remain in the dark.
At six sharp that evening, Nico showed up at my house grinning ear to ear behind the wheel of his father’s twelve-year-old Pontiac Grand Prix. I ran out to meet him, throwing my arms around his neck the second he stepped from the car.
“You did it!” I squealed as he lifted me off my feet.
“I told you I would. Did you doubt me?” he asked, easing me back to the ground.
“No, but I’ve heard horror stories about the DMV. I was just anxious for you.”
“What’s going on out here?” My father’s voice carried through the front door I’d inadvertently left wide open.
“Nico got his driver’s license today!” I announced proudly.
“More reason to stay off the roads,” my dad teased.
Nico grabbed my hand, pulling us over to where my father stood. “Mr. Genovese, I know Sofia isn’t allowed to date yet, but is there any chance I could take her to Mike’s Place for a quick dessert to celebrate?”
I sucked in my breath and peered up at my dad, pleading with all my being.
His lips thinned, and he dropped his chin. “Just a quick dessert, and this is a one-time exception because you two have been friends for so long. Your sisters had to wait until they were sixteen to date, and the same applies to you. Understood?”
I raced up the stairs and wrapped my arms around my father’s middle. “Thank you, Daddy!”
“You be safe,” he said in return, eyes trained on Nico.
“Thank you, Mr. Genovese. I’ll have her back shortly.”
We climbed in the car and made the short drive to Mike’s. At the front register, Nico surprised me by ordering two slices of chocolate cake to go.
“We aren’t staying?”
He smirked with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “I told your dad I’d have you back soon, so we don’t have much time, and there’s something else I want to do.”
Giddy excitement sent an electric buzz to my fingertips. Having the ability to drive ourselves presented an entirely new aspect to our relationship … one I was interested in exploring.
When we got back in the car, Nico drove us around the corner to the shore where we could park overlooking the rocky beach. The sun was setting off to our right, casting long shadows across the water alternating with neon streaks of copper sunlight. The sight was absolutely gorgeous, and I made note of a painting idea that quickly formed in my head.
“I have something for you,” said Nico shyly, drawing me from my distracted thoughts.
“For me? But it’s your birthday.”
“I know, but I want you to have it, and I suck at waiting.” He held out a navy velveteen box set on the palm of his hand.
My hand started to shake as I reached out to take the small box from him. “Nico, you’re so sweet to me.”
“You haven’t even looked inside. How do you know it’s not just plastic vampire teeth?” he teased gently.
“You could have a dead worm in here, and I’m pretty sure I’d love it.”
“Whatever, dork. Just open it.”
I bit down on my lip as I pulled the lid back and gasped at the contents. Dangling from a silver chain was an intricate pendant of the Eiffel Tower. It wasn’t something fancy with jewels, but it was far more precious than any diamonds would have been. Nico knew how much I loved the art world and how desperately I yearned to go to Paris to see its famous artworks in person.
“Someday, I’m going to show you the world, and this is my promise to you. We’ll see it all, Ladybug—Paris, Rome, Valencia—I’ll take you to every museum in the world if I can.” His words were so earnest and heartfelt, they brought tears to my eyes.
“Thank you, Nico. It’s beautiful.” I gazed up at him, wanting to smother him in kisses. “But I hope you know that even if we stay right here on Staten Island for the rest of our lives, I’m happy if I’m with you.”
He smiled softly. “Here, let me help you get it on.” Taking the necklace in his large hands, he opened the clasp and placed the necklace over my head.
When I looked up, Nico was inches away, and the car was suddenly engulfed in a sultry heat. My eyes locked on his, and the world around me disappeared. There was no curfew or glittering ocean, no chocolate cake or school the next day—there was only Nico and my intense need to express my adoration for him.
His lips crashed down on mine in a kiss that encompassed all the passion and longing between us. We had exchanged tentative kisses before, but nothing so heated and intense. His tongue teased open my lips, and I moaned at the delicious taste of him.
I could spend every minute of every day with his soft lips pressed to mine.
His hand trailed from my face down my shoulder and slowly grazed around the side of my small breast. Gasping, I pulled away and glanced down at his hand, my breaths shallow and shaky. I watched raptly as his thumb came around to cup the small mound, then slowly swiped over my nipple. Even through my shirt and bra, the sensation stole the breath from my lungs.
“Nico,” I breathed, unsure what I wanted to say.
“I love you, Ladybug. I don’t mean to push you. I just needed one touch, that’s it.” His voice had grown husky, making the warmth in my belly heat further.
“I love you, too, but … I’m not sure…”
His lips quieted me, soothing the stirrings of anxiety that had begun to dance in the back of my mind. His hand returned to my hair, twining his fingers in my long waves. We kissed for several long minutes, making our first official date one of the best nights of my life.
Nico eventually drove me home, although neither of us ever touched our cake. As I lay in bed that night, I replayed the hour we spent together countless times in my head, a broad smile plastered to my face. I pictured future dates and promised intimacies in my dreams that night, unaware that my imagination would be the only place I would experience those things with Nico.
He never showed at school the next day, or the day after.
It wasn’t until four days later that he let me know he was alive.
The same day he shattered my heart.
Chapter 12
Nico
Now
I’d never been particularly rash. No doubt that was the assumption when people learned I was a boxer, but it wasn’t the case. I’d always prided myself on not being impulsive. My dad was impulsive and undisciplined. He kept our family buried in debt and poised for failure.
I refused to be like my father.
Years ago, when I made the decision to leave Sofia, it wasn’t something I took lightly. I wasn’t given a lot of time to make the decision, but I took each minute I was given. I carefully weighed my options and attempted to decide based on facts and logic without the muddled haze of emotion blurring my thoughts.
Now, I’d come back full circle and had to decide all over again what to do about Sofia. Did I guard her from a distance and allow her to push me away or try to fix things between us and make a go at a real relationship, despite the dangers it entailed? Circumstances had changed since we were kids, but the situation felt just as difficult to navigate. This time around, I wasn’t so convinced it was wise to exclude emotion from the equation. However, if I allowed my feelings to have a vote, it complicated everything. Once you let emotion in the door, it becomes tyrannical and demands full rein of the place. Balance was tricky. I’d gone the route of pure logic before, and it hadn’t ended well for either of us. It made sense to do what I wanted this time, rather than what I thought I should do, but it could go just as poorly, if not worse.
The uncertainty and indecision pissed me off, even after spending the morning pounding the heavy bag at Joe’s. I was almost out of energy and no closer to an answer.
“That bag owe you money?”
I turned to find Tony walking up carrying a gym bag. I hadn’t seen him since the night at the bar when I’d had to cover his tab to make up for the jab to the face. Things with guys were so much easier. You fucked up, you bought the guy some drinks, and all was forgiven. Yet nothing on God’s green earth would buy my way back into Sofia’s good graces.
“I wish it were that simple,” I grumbled as I removed the gloves from my hands.
“Nothing like girl trouble to complicate life. I take it things with Sofia haven’t been a walk in the park?”
“Maybe if that park was filled with landmines and everyone was decked out in camo.”
“Shit, man. What happened?”
I glanced around and closed the distance between us. “She knows about Enzo. She’s always known.”
His eyes widened in surprise. “How the hell did that happen?”
“Saw her brother get killed and never told anyone.”
Tony let out a low whistle. “Jesus. You gonna tell Enzo?”
I ground my teeth tightly together as I took a deep breath. “She made me promise not to.”
“Fuck.”
“Yeah, but it gets better.”
“No shit?”
“She figured out I work for him, and now she’s furious I didn’t tell her.”
“She’s gotta know you couldn’t.”
“She doesn’t see it that way,” I said in a defeated tone. “She’s still hurt that I left, even after I tried to explain that I did it to protect her.”
Tony’s lips thinned. “Well, it was rough for her after that. Once you left, that bitch Brooke Britton made her life at school a living hell.”
My stomach turned at the implication. “What the hell did she do?”
“Guess she had her eye on you and blamed Sofia for you leaving. Used to pull all kinds of petty shit—nothing major, though.”
“Why the fuck are you just telling me this?”
He lifted his hands placatingly. “Easy chief,” he
said in warning. “You had enough on your plate, in case you forgot.” His tone was increasingly defensive as I targeted him with my anger.
“You knew how much I cared about Sofia. You should have told me,” I ground out, grabbing my towel off a bench and attempting to cool down my temper.
“It was only a few weeks, then she made some friend who put a stop to it.”
I whipped around, taken aback by his words. “Made some friend? Who?” I tried to picture who she might have befriended in my absence but came up empty. She hardly talked to anyone other than me while we were together.
“Some new kid who had transferred at the semester break. I think his name was Mikey or something.”
A guy? She befriended a guy when I left?
The image of her saddling up to some other guy, holding his hand through the halls and sharing stolen looks with him made my blood boil with a jealous rage. How close did she get with him? Did he take her virginity?
I had to stop that train of thought before I vomited up whatever I had left in my stomach from breakfast.
I wouldn’t have wanted her to suffer while I was gone, but it had never occurred to me that she might run straight into another guy’s arms. Was that how it had played out? Had she given any consideration to where I might have been before replacing me, or had her anger at what I’d done given her a clean conscience? When I left, I didn’t expect her to join a convent or anything, but I figured it would have taken at least a little time to get over me. Now, I wasn’t so sure.
But what about the necklace? Was that a sign she still held feelings for me, or was I a hopeless fool?
The questions were endless, stampeding through my brain and trampling all other thoughts. I turned to Tony, my eyes blazing. “I want to know everything.”
***
Later that afternoon, I found myself back at the Genovese home after receiving a summons from Enzo. I’d had enough time to get my head on straight and was ready to do my job. For now, I would make sure Sofia was safe and play the role of old friend at her graduation party. The only decision I’d made was not to rush into judgment, but that was enough to relieve some of the tension mounting inside me.
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