by Bella Grant
She must have felt my presence because she suddenly glanced up at me and did a double take, closing her book as if I had caught her doing something wrong.
“Dr. Sullivan—I wasn’t expecting you so soon,” she greeted me and got up gingerly from the bed, careful to sweep the dress under her as she stood.
“Well, I wasn’t as busy this evening as I thought I’d be, so I figured I could pop in now.” I shrugged, my mouth going dry. “You look…pretty this evening. Have you got a dinner date in the common room or something?” I tried to bury the compliment into a joke, red flags popping up in my head.
She blushed and shifted, the dress swaying a little as she did so. “I didn’t feel like wearing PJs just yet and hopped in the shower. All Lisa sent me was dresses and skirts this time, so here I am.” She smiled, and I moved closer to her before my brain could even catch up to what my body was doing. All red flags were dismissed as I led myself right over the cliff of desire.
She looked a bit surprised at first when I rested a hand on her waist and pulled her in close, tilting her chin with the other. I was a goner when I felt her quiver under my touch. Any professionalism I was holding onto, was lost in that quiver, my wants taking over. “Fiona, do you have any idea how beautiful you are, inside and out? You are so beautiful, I can’t help but do this. Please forgive me,” I leaned down and brushed my lips over hers in a simple, sweet kiss, nothing else, hoping it would calm the heat that coiled deep in my belly and caused me to lose my self-control. My mouth kept going though before I could stop it.
“I like you a lot, Fiona—a lot more than a doctor should like his patient,” I whispered against her lips. They were as soft as they looked, and I desired nothing more than to continue kissing them. I noticed my partner hadn’t moved or said a word. She only absorbed my sudden feelings onto her frail shoulders, forcing me to step back and realize what I had done. She stood in front of me, looking at me like a lost child, her eyes wide and her body still. Shit.
“Fiona, I-I…I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. Please…forgive me,” I managed to get out as I continued to step backwards, absolutely disgusted with myself.
I had committed one of the worst sins a doctor could in their career and had taken advantage of my patient. I failed to stop myself and my hormones. The sudden need to vomit filled my stomach. I couldn’t look at her surprised face anymore, so I turned around, heading for the door. Like a coward. The doorknob was turning under my grasp, when I felt her hand grab mine, whirling me around to face her.
“Wait… there’s something you need to know…” She trailed off, and my hand was still firmly in hers when I nodded for her to go on.
CHAPTER 12
I was still holding his hand when the words spilled out before I could catch them. His kiss was all I had needed to have the courage once and for all to find out where this was going.
“Josh, you’re the first guy I have ever felt like this with before. You make me feel safe. Loved. Warm. Pretty much all of the above. It’s weird, because for the first time since the accident, I’m not hurting, and it’s when I’m with you. I assumed it was because you were my psychiatrist that I felt so safe with you. Then you said it—not once, but like three times—how you cared about me more than you should. I didn’t realize how happy hearing it would make me until it sunk in. Hell, I paced back and forth trying to figure out what to wear tonight because I knew I would see you again. And I wanted to look good for you and for you to say exactly what you said. That I was…beautiful to you.” My focus remained on our joined hands as I continued.
“It’s weird, though, like I’ve been so focused on this feeling you’ve given me that the depression hasn’t eaten away at me like it used to. Today, in your office, was the first time I could actually stop my fit before it worsened. And I think it had something to do with you guiding me through it. Josh, I’m starting to believe in myself again. I’m looking forward to the next day rather than worrying about what happened nine months ago. I’m acting my age and am concerned about what to wear and how to do my hair. Things I haven’t cared about since…since my parents died,” I explained and found it was easier to keep the tears at bay with Josh’s hand grounding me.
Josh stiffened when I mentioned my parents, as if he were preparing for another meltdown. To soothe his worries, I peeked at him, a grin teasing my lips. “Josh, I want this as much as you do because I really like you too, and it feels amazing.”
He stood in place for a few moments, and I could tell he was weighing the options in his head. He was a doctor, after all, and I knew we were stepping over dangerous lines from doctor and patient to something more. I wanted to give him time to think on it but impatient nature was winning and my hands were already pulling him forward. My arms wrapped around his neck and this time, I initiated the kiss.
I didn’t hold back either and he didn’t seem to mind. A fire had ignited within me, a fire so intense, so primal, and was taking us both over. Its flames licked throughout my entire being and I felt it between my legs, through my chest, and down my spine. I arched into our kiss that became more with every meeting of our lips, the eagerness building somewhere between the pressings of our bodies.
I desired this man in every possible way that I could have him, and I wouldn’t take no for an answer. His strong arms anchored me as I got lost in our series of heated kisses, his tongue begging for entrance, and in the middle of a moan, I let him in. Our kisses were uncoordinated, sloppy, eager, and wet, and tremors ripped right through my core. His hands roamed up and down my sides, settling on my hips and digging into them lightly. I could feel the tension in his hold, and though it should have hurt a little, it triggered my hands to claw through his thick mass of brown hair that I had imagined running my fingers through for so long. The heat that pulsed through my body poured out, and I pushed him backwards against the door, causing us both to flinch at the sudden realization of where we were and what we were doing.
Parting but panting desperately for air, we looked at one another. Josh’s eyes were blown wide with lust, his cheeks flushed and his lips parted. The same lips I had just kissed like a wild animal. I let out a shaky breath and started to laugh at the quick pace and the rush that coursed through my veins. He laughed as well, both of us releasing our adrenaline through other means than kissing. My heart caught up with my breathing as everything slowed down enough for me to think.
“Wow,” I managed to get out.
“Yeah… wow,” he replied, just as breathy.
“I-I’ve never kissed like that… like I needed it,” I confessed and tucked a tendril of loose hair behind my ear.
Josh laughed and drew his hand through his hair. God, I yearned to touch it again and had to fight the urge to do so.
“Yeah, me neither.”
He eyed me as if contemplating saying something more, and all I could do was stand under his watchful gaze. A few minutes went by, and the faint noises from the hallway could be heard again over my beating heart. A nurse paging a doctor over the intercom. A few patients chatting as they walked by, most likely on their way to dinner. I had lost my appetite for anything but Josh and planted my feet firmly in place.
“Are you…regretting what just happened?” I asked, the slight pang of guilt hitting me when my focus wasn’t on his lips anymore.
He shook his head, his hair moving with his motions. “No, I just… I needed to stop before I couldn’t control myself anymore. You do that to me, Fiona. You make me lose control, and sometimes, I can’t even think properly when you’re around, even forgetting my work and why this isn’t okay,” he admitted.
I remained silent, running through what he had just said, trying to come up with something to say to which would make him feel less guilty about what had just transpired. He noticed and stood up straight. “I didn’t mean that in a bad way. I just wanted you to know why I stopped. It’s not you, it’s me.”
“Well, what if I don’t want you to stop?” I blurted out and folded my
arms along my chest.
“Fiona…” His voice was tense as my name dragged out of his mouth.
“No, answer my question. What if I didn’t want you to stop? What if I wanted you to keep going?” I needed to know for some reason. Would he allow us to go further? Or would he leave me hanging? My impulses were getting the best of me and I didn’t care. I was too amped up, too pent up on the sudden endorphins from his kisses.
“Then we would have done something that shouldn’t happen between a doctor and his patient, and in a patient’s room.” He sighed and sounded defeated.
“So?” I called him out. The old Fiona was slowly coming back. The one who wasn’t afraid for her voice to be heard while striking a deal with a CEO. The Fiona who didn’t back down. I straightened up and dropped my arms, my head held high as I stepped forward to stand directly in front of him. My gaze was intense, and his smoldered as they met, each searching the others. I flicked the light switch next to him, and the room’s atmosphere changed dramatically, the sunset illuminating our sterilized surroundings. “I want this, Josh, just as much as you do. Don’t make me repeat myself.”
I cupped his chiseled jaw with my hands and rubbed my hands across the scratchiness of his stubble that was starting to grow in. I studied his facial features and noticed he not only had stubble, but dark circles had formed under his eyes as well. My doctor was tired, and I knew just the cure.
“Make love to me, Dr. Joshua Sullivan,” I requested boldly. I heard his breath hitch at my demand. In response, I planted my lips softly against his in an attempt to keep his focus, and then peeled them off to look at him from under my lidded eyes. “Do we have a deal?”
He nodded after a few seconds, and I heard the doorknob behind him.
“Deal,” he grunted, and before I knew what was happening, the door was opened. “Follow me,” he ordered, and I could hear the arousal in his low voice.
My brain was short circuited at his command. My feet moved on their own as I walked behind him, keeping my eyes trained on his broad shoulders as we took the familiar path to his office. Vickie was long gone from her desk, and most of the offices around his were dark, the doors closed. Patients were in the common room for dinner, and the day staff was leaving as the night staff slowly rolled in.
His head swiveled in both directions, making sure we were clear before he unlocked his office door with a key from his front pocket and locked it again as soon as we were inside. I turned to face him, and his lips crashed into mine and his body pushed until I fell onto the worn leather cushions, my dress fluttering around me. His hand was under my head as I landed, and he sat up to whip off his doctor coat and loosen his black tie.
My hands ached to be on him again, so I yanked him back down on top of me by his tie. Our lips clashed in a war of tongues and teeth as my fingers made quick work of his shirt buttons. A loud whimper escaped my lips when his mouth teased along my neck, and in response, his large hand clamped over my moving mouth.
“Shhhh.” His hot breath hit my ear, and my body shuddered at how rough yet gentle he could be with me.
It was hard not to whimper when I thought about how I wanted it all with him. The rough, the gentle, the neediness, the desire, the love, the lust—everything. For once, I was being selfish and he was willing to play right along. It scared me because I had never felt such a way about another person in my entire life. Yet it excited me to no end, because I knew I could trust this man with all my wants and he would properly take care of each and every one of them.
I nodded against his hand, and he replaced it with his lips, his hand hesitating along the side of my body. I huffed inside his mouth and put his hand under my breasts, egging him on to touch me, to stoke the fire within. Without further delay, his hand was on my clothed breast, massaging it and flicking my nipple with the constant stroke of his thumb, driving me mad with need. My hips bucked, my moans dumped into his opened mouth, and my hands found their way into the thickness of his hair again, tugging at it. I felt him shudder as I tugged. A sense of empowerment washed over me, relishing how I could make his body react. It was so addictive.
When I rolled my hips up again, I felt a bulge pressing on my bare thigh. It felt so large against my leg and curiosity got the better of me. So while one hand was still busy in his forest of hair, my other hand snuck down between our moving bodies and was about to squeeze his member when his hand stopped mine.
“Not yet,” he hissed between his teeth after he pulled away from my wet lips. I pouted in response until his lips landed on my neck, the wet smacking sounds of his ministrations turning my pouting into silent cries. I was getting high on how his mouth moved along my quickening pulse. The squeaking of the leather underneath brought me back to the present as his other hand massaged soothing circles slowly up and around my bare thigh.
My leg automatically bent at the knee as his hand traveled under me and squeezed my bottom. So many things were happening at once, and my body responded wildly to every single touch. I didn’t even have a moment to process his every move because his lips skipped across my collarbone, nosing the spaghetti strap of my dress off.
“This needs to come off,” he growled and man-handled me into a sitting position, his hands already at my back to unzip my dress. My panties dampened in anticipation as my dress sagged around me, his thumb pushing down the other strap, revealing my bare, perky breasts. I hid my face in his shoulder, starting to feel embarrassed as I trembled slightly under his gaze.
Was I enough for him? Did he find my naked body attractive? My dress pooled around where my hipbones jutted out, the top of blue panties revealed. My eyes were trained on them when I felt him kiss my collarbone to the roundness of my shoulder.
“Fiona, it’s so unfair,” he whispered on my skin, which tingled under his moving lips.
“What is?” I mumbled nervously. He shifted around my ducked face and tilted my head up to peer at him.
“That every inch of you is so damn beautiful,” he stated, and I flushed all over.
I knew then I would have no regrets allowing this man to take me with not just his eyes but also his hands, his body, and his desire. I grabbed at one of his hands and put it over my breast, right over my heart, so he could feel exactly what he did to me. His body returned to hover over mine, and I let the feeling of him pressed against me wash over, erasing any self-doubt I had.
CHAPTER 13
I don’t remember when her dress came off completely or when I was in nothing more than my black boxer briefs, but there we were, side to side, eagerly pressed against one another, our underwear the last barrier between us. My hand caressed her from the small roundness of her breasts down to the small bumps of her ribcage and to the jut of her hipbone. Every stroke of my fingertips made her quiver with need, and I knew just the thing to ease it. Without a warning, my hand skimmed across the top of her little blue panties before diving in. Her sex bucked up in response to my fingers, and I grunted at how warm, wet, and inviting she was for me. I worked her nub first and caught her flighty moans with my mouth. My mind may have been lost in desire, but I was still concerned about being overheard.
Yet it wasn’t even about me being caught anymore. It was about someone interrupting my time with Fiona, interrupting our heated bodies that synced in movement and desire for one another, especially now when she was like a puddle in my arms. I decided somewhere in the gritty corners of my mind that no one could see her like this. I was enthralled by her and wanted her all to myself. With those sudden possessive thoughts fueling me on, I pushed my finger inside her, and she gasped harder. She was so incredibly tight around only one finger, I was concerned about how well she would take the hard-on that dared to slip out of my briefs at any second.
Then as I pushed upwards, I hit something fleshy and it sobered me right up. Fiona was a virgin. She was waiting for the right person to give herself to. My movements slowed as my brain continued to process the information, my kisses becoming softer. This girl was so good, almost
too good for this world—and for me, but I knew if I stopped now she would be frustrated and hurt. I desired to be the right person for her, and I knew she felt the same since she asked me to make love to her. It made more sense as to why she had asked. She was giving me the chance to prove I was the right person for her. That I could be what she needed.
I vowed to make her first time her best time. I wanted her to feel maximum pleasure, to make her feel my raw admiration for her. I moved my finger gently inside her as she melted against me, her leg curled up over my hip and rolling slightly. I slid another finger in, widening her, giving her what her body asked of me. She gasped again, along with a breathy moan and another roll of her hips, indicating she enjoyed it. I moved my fingers slowly back and forth, my mouth attacking hers because I couldn’t get enough of her kisses or her moans.
My body shuddered at the feel of her hand traveling down my chest towards my trail of light brown hair that disappeared into my briefs. I opened my mouth to tell her to wait, but she’d already found her way around my swollen member. Her fingertips brushed shyly along it over my briefs as if she was studying the shape of it before she surprised me with a sudden squeeze. My length twitched in her hand, and the next thing I knew, her hand dipped into my briefs, the skin of her fingers on the skin of my shaft. She squeezed experimentally around it, and my hips rocked in response.
We continued exploring each other’s sexes and figuring out what felt good and what was too much. Once I deemed her wet and teased enough, I pulled away to peel her panties off, kissing up her right leg as I admired her shaved sex spread for me. I sat up and discarded my underwear, watching her reaction to my naked body. Her look alone caused my member to twitch in anticipation, her lidded eyes wild with need. I settled myself between her legs and stroked back the damp hairs that clung to the sides of her face.