Charles also watched him go. ‘I thought that was very well spoken,’ he said to Caroline. ‘You could do much worse than him.’ He squeezed her shoulder, and removed his arm, so he could turn her to face him. ‘I assume you refused him?’
‘I did,’ Caroline said with a sigh. ‘Perhaps it was a mistake.’ Then, suddenly she came to her senses. She was going to marry Darcy and become mistress of Pemberley. It had not been a mistake and she was grateful for the inner strength that had enabled her to do what was right. If she’d been close to weakening, it was only because the proposal had been so unexpected, giving her no time to decide how to handle the situation. When Mr Darcy proposed, she would know what to say.
She did love Mr Darcy, how could she not? Her feelings for Mr Tryphon, while strong, were nothing more than an infatuation, just like Charles’ affection for Jane Bennet. She would think no more of Mr Tryphon, and continue with her plan to convince Mr Darcy she was ready for his proposal.
She smiled warmly at her brother, and looked about the room, rising to her full elegant height. Already most people had looked away, tired of what was only a small and unimportant occurrence during one of Eleanor’s parties. After all, many dramas were played out here, most of them much more interesting than this one.
Caroline glared at the few people who still dared to look at her, and they too returned to their previous entertainments, conversing with other guests, or eating and drinking while they observed the flow of life around them.
‘Do you wish to depart now?’ Charles asked. ‘You must be fatigued.’
Caroline turned to him. ‘Not at all. I am always energized by Eleanor’s parties. There are so many interesting people among her circle.’ And I cannot leave now, or people will think I’m distressed by what has happened and am running away. No, I must act as if I turn down a man’s proposal every other week. She gave Charles her warmest smile. ‘I am not ready to leave yet. Would it be all right if we remained a small while longer?’
He, as she well knew, could refuse her nothing when she smiled at him like that. And so she moved among the crowds, some of whose whispering stopped suddenly as she neared, making witty remarks and expressing her satisfaction with the concert and the fascinating conversations she always had with Eleanor’s friends. Only after she had spoken to everyone at least once, and they all seemed to have forgotten what had so interested them before, did she realise suddenly that she was very tired. Seeking out her brother, she told him she was ready to return home. Only then, as she looked for Eleanor so she could take her leave, did she realise that her friend was nowhere to be seen, in fact, she had left the room shortly after Mr Tryphon did, and had not returned.
* * *
The next day brought a dreaded visit. She was tired, for she had passed a restless night. The few moments of sleep she had found were filled with images of Stephen, holding her hand, pressing his lips against hers. When at last morning arrived and she could get up, her lips felt warm and full. Staring at her face in the mirror, she was horrified to see dark shadows under her eyes. And was that a wrinkle running from the edge of her mouth up to her nose?
She rang for Genney, determined to ignore her mirror all day. She was just tired, that was all. She’d spend a quiet day at home, perhaps read a little, even though Mr Darcy wouldn’t be there to see it. That suited her well, though, for she was in no mood to deal with anyone or anything.
And then Jane arrived.
The butler showed her in, without first inquiring if Miss Bingley was at home to callers. Stevens had been with the family at Netherfield Park, so no doubt he recognised Jane as a family friend, but Caroline would have to speak to him.
Jane held out her hands as she advanced across the room to where Caroline sat by the fire, her sewing on her lap and her mind filled with thoughts of Mr Tryphon. Caroline was so shocked by Jane’s appearance that at first she thought Jane was an image from her head, just as Mr Tryphon was. Realising this was indeed a nightmare become flesh and blood, she rose to her feet, so busy wondering where Charles was at that moment that she barely said two words to her unwanted visitor. Thank goodness Charles was living in a different house!
Jane sat down across from Caroline, and held her hands towards the warmth of the fire. She appeared a trifle bewildered and Caroline, to buy herself a little time before she had to speak to Jane, rang for a servant to bring some refreshments.
‘How lovely to see you,’ she said at last, finding her good manners. ‘But, I am so surprised to see you.’ She was, even though she had known this could happen when she didn’t respond to Jane’s letter announcing her presence in town. Realising that her lack of response could be seen to indicate poor manners on her part, Caroline continued, ‘How long have you been in London? You naughty girl, why did you not let me know you were here?’
‘I sent you a letter.’ Jane appeared somewhat surprised for a moment, but then her expression softened. ‘I did suspect it must have gone astray. I hope you will forgive me for simply appearing in this manner. I should have sent another letter, when you did not respond to the first, for I know you could not be so cruel as to deliberately ignore me.’
Caroline experienced the smallest of twinge of guilt at this, but quickly pushed it away. She had acted in the best interests of her brother, indeed of the entire family. ‘How are you, my dear friend?’ she asked.
She barely listened as Jane prattled on about her parents and sisters. Their health was no concern of hers, neither were tales of Lydia’s most recent escapade or what Charlotte had written to Lizzy about her new life in Hunsford, married to that clergyman whose name Caroline could not recall. She poured tea and handed over a plate with a slice of cake, and nodded sometimes and smiled when Jane’s expression seemed to expect it.
Her full attention was pulled into focus when Jane paused and then asked, ‘And how are you and your family? Your brother, is he well?’
Caroline uttered a little laugh that even to her ears sounded false. ‘Oh, Charles is very well. He is busy, dashing hither and yon with Mr Darcy, and I barely see him.’
They both sat in silence for a little time, and then Caroline, her fatigue washing over her so strongly that she feared she might collapse, leaned forward and said, ‘My dear, while it is delightful to see you, I am expected with my sister as we have an outing planned. I am sorry you cannot see the others, but they are not present at this time. Charles, in fact, will not even be present for dinner, which is a shame, for Miss Darcy will be joining us. He was most upset when he learned he would miss seeing her, for the two of them enjoy each other’s company very much. Still, no doubt they will see one another tomorrow, and sometimes a little absence will make the heart grow fonder. Is that not so?’ She laughed and rose to her feet.
Jane rose too. ‘I truly am happy to see you,’ she said, although her voice sounded somewhat uncertain.
Caroline took her cue. ‘I am happy, also. It is delightful to know you are where I can easily see you, whenever I wish.’
She walked Jane to the front door, offered a carriage to take her home, and was relieved when Jane told her that her aunt, and her aunt’s carriage, were only a short walk away. Jane thanked Caroline so profusely for seeing her, even with no notice of the call, that Caroline wondered if she’d have to summon a maid with a broom to sweep Jane outside. She did depart at last, and Caroline closed the door behind her and leaned her back against it, too tired and overwhelmed to move.
* * *
Caroline told Louisa about Jane’s visit later that day, but was not able to inform Mr Darcy until several days had passed. Louisa was suitably horrified on Caroline’s behalf, and sufficiently sympathetic that Caroline felt much better. Mr Darcy’s reactions were another matter.
She saw her chance to speak to him alone one evening, when everyone had gathered at his house. He’d left the card room and was about to slip into his study, when, from further down the hall, she called to him. He looked annoyed at first, but settled his features into a pati
ent expression when she reached him.
‘I apologise for disrupting your escape from the card tables,’ she said with a smile.
‘I am found out.’ His smile was very small and of very short duration. When she did not immediately speak again, he added, ‘Since your apology indicates you have not chased me in order to drag me back, I presume there is another matter you wish to discuss.’ He took a step towards his open study door.
‘There is,’ she said quickly. ‘I wanted to tell you that Miss Jane Bennet is continuing in her plans to ensnare my brother. She was in Mr Hurst’s house, walked boldly in as if she had every right, only four days ago.’
Mr Darcy flinched when she uttered the name ‘Bennet’, and she was glad to see he took this matter as seriously as she did. He even clenched his hands, which were by his sides, into fists and closed his eyes for a moment. ‘How is Miss Bennet?’ he asked.
This was not what she had expected him to say, and she stared at him, unable to speak.
His expression grew very still, and he said, ‘I trust that your silence does not mean you have some terrible news to impart, and are considering how best to soften the blow.’
She wanted to smile, to assume what he said was a joke, but he gazed at her with such calm, yet such deep emotion, that all she could say was, ‘Miss Bennet appears very well, and had no terrible news to tell.’
He closed his eyes again, and when he opened them, he appeared the same as usual, dignified and elegant. ‘I assume you have not mentioned her call to your brother?’
She shook her head, still staring at him.
He moved to enter his study, but just before he passed inside and turned to close the door behind him, he asked, without looking back, ‘Did Miss Bennet mention if her family is in good health?’
‘She did,’ Caroline said faintly. ‘They are all well.’
He nodded, still with his back to her, and closed the door.
* * *
For the next few weeks, Caroline did her best to put all thoughts of Bennets out of her mind. She knew it was unpardonably rude for her to not return Jane’s call, or even to send a line or two explaining why she had not been by, but the thought of having to go to Cheapside was, as Louisa agreed, simply too repugnant.
She also saw nothing of Eleanor or Mr Tryphon during that time. She’d wondered if she should turn down any invitations she received from Eleanor, but was saved from having to decide by not receiving any. While she was deeply wounded by her supposed friend’s silence, she knew that most of her pain came from not seeing Mr Tryphon. Why had he gone and spoiled everything by proposing? How she wished they could continue the easy friendship they’d had during the past many months. She missed it. Missed him. And she missed Eleanor, too; her vivacity and playful attitude towards life.
No one else noticed that invitations from Lady Amesbury had ceased. The maestro did not come to Mr Darcy’s house to teach Georgiana but the young lady, after an initial disappointment, seemed perfectly content to continue studying with her regular teacher.
Caroline sewed, and tried to spend at least a few minutes each day reading. She went for carriage rides, and walks on the finer days, made calls and received them. She helped Louisa select new wall coverings for the small drawing room. Mr Darcy still did not propose.
Instead he continued preparations for himself and Georgiana to return to Pemberly. Caroline tried her very best to show him how bereft she would be once he was gone, but other than an invitation to come and stay later in the spring, he showed no signs that he would miss her.
Then, a few days before the date set for his removal, Mr Darcy sought her out. They were in the Grosvenor Street house, late afternoon. She had hardly seen him for many days, since he was so occupied with settling business affairs here in town so he could return to Pemberley with his mind at ease.
She was in the corridor just outside the dining room, for Louisa was feeling unwell and Caroline had offered to oversee the servants’ preparation for the meal. When Mr Darcy appeared, he looked much the same as always, wearing his dark blue coat with beige breeches. She observed some differences from his usual demeanour. There was a slight shine to his forehead, almost as if he was perspiring, but surely that was impossible, for she’d never seen him appear dishevelled in any way other than at Netherfield, when he’d just returned from a horseback ride. His shoulders looked tense, and he was opening and closing the fingers of both hands as he came to a stop in front of her.
She stifled a gasp. Clearly he was preparing to speak. At last! She thought about what she could say in a gentle reprove for his waiting until the last minute before his departure, and how unkind he’d been to leave her in suspense all this time. It would have to be voiced in the gentlest, most loving of tones, of course, but surely he would understand he deserved it.
And was he truly going to propose just outside the dining room of her sister’s house? It was strange, but no doubt his passion meant he could not wait for a more romantic site.
He took in a deep breath, let it out, took in another, all without saying anything. His fingers continued to clench and unclench until, as if he noticed them, he thrust his hands into his pockets.
Caroline thought of touching him, of placing her hand on his arm or chest, to show him he need not fear being refused. She didn’t want to appear forward, though, and settled for simply saying, ‘Mr Darcy? Is there something you wish to say to me?’
He took in another breath, as if mustering his strength, and said, ‘I am sorry to disturb you, Miss Bingley. I merely wanted to inquire if you have had the pleasure of seeing Miss Bennet again.’
Caroline’s jaw dropped and she gaped at him for what must have been a full minute before she could adequately control herself enough to close her mouth. ‘Miss Bennet?’ she said faintly.
‘Yes,’ he said, and his words came faster and faster. ‘I am returning to Derbyshire, as you know, well, of course you know, to Pemberley, and since I am returning to the country it made me think of my last sojourn in the country; in Hertfordshire, but of course you know that also.’ He appeared to run out of steam for a moment, but then continued, looking over her head as if what he had to say was of no moment. ‘I simply wondered if you had word of any of our friends in Meryton, if they are well.’
Caroline found she was opening and closing her mouth now, gasping for breath, and even though she knew it made her look like a fish, she was unable to stop. Calling upon all her strength, she composed herself and said, ‘I am afraid I have not had that pleasure.’
His gaze returned to her face, and she thought she saw accusation in his dark eyes. Quickly, she added, ‘I have been terribly busy, and I know how very rude it is of me to not have returned Miss Bennet’s call. In fact, I was planning to do so tomorrow, so I should be able to answer all your questions after that time.’ Now she saw a terrible fear and hope on his countenance and, unable to be in his presence a moment longer without bursting into tears, she dropped a quick curtsey and hurried away.
How she sat through the dinner and the card games that followed, she did not know. She knew she was pale, for even Charles noticed and asked if she felt unwell. She answered him, as she did all comments directed at her, in a commendably steady voice. Louisa, whose headache had abated enough for her to preside during dinner, kept sending concerned looks at her sister during the evening, but it wasn’t until the guests had departed, and Caroline had just enough energy left to feel proud of her performance that evening, that the two sisters were able to speak in private.
They were in Caroline’s bedchamber. Caroline sat at her dressing table, removing her jewels. Her face stared at her from the polished surface, looking like a caricature from one of the newspapers, an image of a witch or other spirit from the world beyond. Her eyes were dull, the skin around them appeared bruised, and the skin beneath her high cheek bones seemed to have wasted away, so that her whole face looked haggard.
‘What has happened?’ Louisa asked.
Caroline
was not sure how to put what had happened into words, but then Louisa rested a hand on her shoulder. That gentle touch was all it took to reduce Caroline’s defences to crumbling dust. ‘It’s Mr Darcy,’ she said in a trembling voice. ‘I think he has feelings for Elizabeth Bennet!’ And then she could hold back her tears no longer.
For a while, Caroline sobbed in her sister’s arms, paced about her room, wailed while lying face down on her bed, and pounded her poor innocent pillows until one burst, filling the air with feathers. At length, once again held tenderly by Louisa, who appeared uncaring of the stains Caroline’s tears made on her gown, Caroline grew quiet.
‘There, there,’ Louisa murmured, stroking Caroline’s unbound hair, for it had come unpinned. ‘It doesn’t matter, everything will be all right.’
‘How can you say that?’ Caroline asked, raising her tear-streaked face from the comfort of her sister’s shoulder.
‘He is much too sensible a man to throw away everything he has, his position in society, the esteem in which he is held by all who encounter him and, even more importantly, his sister’s reputation as a Darcy, to ever consider marrying someone like Lizzy Bennet.’
When she heard that name, a fresh wave of tears overcame Caroline. Once she’d recovered, she said haltingly, for crying had given her hiccups, ‘That makes sense, truly it does, and I thank you for reminding me.’
‘Of course it does.’ Louisa fetched a small towel and dampened it in the basin.
Caroline lay back and closed her eyes as the cool moist towel soothed her brow and temples. ‘But,’ she said as the puffiness left her face and she began to relax, ‘Do I want to marry a man who has feelings for a woman who is so unsuitable?’ She straightened her spine.
‘You mean a man who loves another woman?’ Louisa picked up a hairbrush and tended Caroline’s hair.
Caroline flinched at her sister’s blunt words. ‘Do you truly think he loves her?’
Miss Bingley Requests Page 28