by Tara Leigh
Dax just shook his head. “Don’t know how you do it.”
“Do what?”
“Fuck anything that moves.”
My lips twitched. “Depends on how they move, I guess.” The way Piper had moved—she’d set the standard so high no one had ever been able to compete. Holding the weight of her body in my arms tonight, it had felt as if she was finally back where she belonged.
Another few chords covered the silence. “Why don’t you?” I asked, genuinely curious.
“Besides the fact that I have higher standards than any of you fuckers?”
“Ha. Yeah, besides that.”
Dax shrugged, his expression turning serious. “Nothing worth having comes easy.”
Piper
Delaney managed to unglue herself from Shane’s side long enough to meet me for coffee at my apartment the next morning, although her stubble-abraded cheeks and sex-mussed hair were glaringly obvious proof they hadn’t done a lot of sleeping.
Not that I had, either. My sexually frustrated body had tossed and turned all night, imagining all the things Landon would have been doing to me if we hadn’t been interrupted. That cocky grin wiped away by determined desire. His callus-roughened hands chafing my smooth skin, stoking a fire so hot it should have singed my veins. His mouth on mine, his tongue licking, his teeth biting. Sharp, intense spears of pleasure pricking.
And as for what I wanted to do to Landon…well, what didn’t I want to do to him?
Anything. Everything.
Whatever he wanted.
Even now, riding the chemical edge of caffeine the next morning, my body was still thrumming with unspent lust as I filled Delaney in on recent events. From walking into Adam’s apartment and overhearing his conversation with his college roommate, to breaking up with Adam, to nearly sleeping with Landon, and then kicking them both out of my apartment before going to bed alone.
Once I spilled the whole sordid tale, there was a moment of quiet as Delaney attempted to absorb it. She finally exhaled, eyes wide as she leaned forward. “Okay, I think I need some help taking this all in.”
I let my head fall back on the couch cushion and groaned. “How do you think I feel?”
“Honestly, I can’t even imagine.” Delaney sighed, not saying anything else until I raised my head and looked at her. “Can I ask a few questions?”
“Fire away.”
“Okay, first: did you really hear both sides of Adam’s conversation with the roommate who was apparently more than just a roommate? And are you absolutely sure that Adam …” The end of Delaney’s unspoken question hovered in the air.
…cheated on you with another man?
Unspoken, the words still blared jarringly inside my ears. I winced. “Yes, I heard everything.”
As I was leaving for work, I realized I’d forgotten my birth control pills in Adam’s bathroom, so I let myself in. “He was in his spare room, on the treadmill, and his phone was on speaker.”
I swallowed thickly, remembering how I’d crept quietly through the hall, intending to grab my pills from his medicine cabinet without interrupting his conversation. “Brian was angry. Accusing Adam of hiding from the truth. I didn’t get it, not until Brian asked—‘Then what was that kiss about?’”
In his bathroom, pills in hand, I froze.
As their argument escalated, it was clear that my boyfriend—who’d never even hinted at being bisexual—had been in a relationship with Brian in college.
It took me a few minutes to realize that “that kiss” meant their kiss…last week. “Adam told Brian that it didn’t mean anything. That it was a mistake, and he had a girlfriend now.”
“Brian said Adam was lying to himself and that he was using me.” I paused, my throat tightening. “Adam stopped the treadmill. He responded, ‘I know.’”
Even now, the echo of those words was enough to break my heart. The pain in Adam’s voice had been deeply visceral, impossible to ignore.
I knew how it felt to put on a front to the world. To be outwardly confident and cavalier when in reality you were just a painted Easter egg, one careless mistake away from being a cracked shell.
I grabbed more tissues and blew my nose. “I must have made a noise, or maybe I walked out of the bathroom, because the next thing I knew, I was standing in the hallway and Adam had turned around. He retreated behind this mask of, of…,” I sputtered, looking for the right word, “fakeness, I guess. It just made me so angry, I threw my pills at his head and stormed out.”
“Jesus.”
“You called a minute later, as I got into my car.”
“Oh crap, I’m so sorry.” Delaney’s tone was heavy with remorse. “And I was all, ‘I’m coming to L.A., let’s go to the Nothing but Trouble show together.’ Ugh. I can’t believe I was so oblivious.”
I hurried to reassure her. “You weren’t! You knew something was wrong, tried pressing me on it, too.”
Delaney gave a shallow nod. “Right. So…Why didn’t you want to tell me?”
“Honestly, I think I just needed some time to process it myself.”
“And now you have?”
“Yes. No.” I grabbed a pillow and held it over my face, muffling a scream of frustration. “Seeing Landon last night kind of put the whole Adam thing on the back burner.”
“Ah, so that’s how it is.”
I glanced at her warily, sensing she was about to tell me something I already knew but didn’t really want to hear. “What?”
“Do you remember the conversation we had the night Shane was arrested?” I offered a cautious nod. While we were waiting to hear when, or if, Shane would be released, Delaney had asked me if I’d ever been in love. I’d reluctantly admitted that I had, but that it didn’t end well. An understatement.
Delaney continued. “Landon was the musician you were talking about, right? The one who took off without a word of explanation?”
I sighed. “Yeah. That was him.”
She pulled at an invisible piece of lint on her leg, taking her time. “Piper, do you think maybe you were using Adam, too? That, in your own way, you’d hoped Adam would be the guy to get you over Landon?”
I choked on an inhale, sputtering as I reached for the mug of tea in front of me.
Delaney waited until I’d sipped, then added quietly, “But clearly he didn’t.”
Cradling the porcelain mug between my palms, I stared into the amber liquid, recalling the intensity that had shot through me in Landon’s presence. The way every cell in my body had thrilled at his touch, as if awakening from a long slumber and swearing fealty to the man who’d freed them. “No,” I said eventually. “No one’s ever taken Landon’s place.”
“That good, huh?” Delaney released a quiet laugh, lightening the moment. “I guess the legend really does live up to his hype.”
“Are you trying to remind me what a manwhore he is?” I snorted. “Because it’s working.”
“From what I’ve heard, Shane was just as bad before we got together. And I have to admit, there are some benefits to his…,” she quirked a grin, “experience.”
I blinked. There were times when Delaney didn’t bear a shred of resemblance to the shy, awkward girl I’d known in Bronxville. She continued, “Either way, you’re not going to figure out what Landon is to you until you see him again.”
“No way. That’s the last thing I need.” I shook my head so violently, some of my tea spilled onto my lap. I set the mug back on the cocktail table and blotted at my thighs with a crumpled up tissue.
Pulling her legs beneath her, Delaney waited until I was finished. “Describe your sex life with Adam in one word.”
“What? Absolutely not.”
“Trust me. One word, the first one that comes to mind.”
I pressed my lips together, opening them on an irate sigh. “Fine, okay. My sex life with Adam is—was,” I corrected myself, “fine.”
“Now describe sex with Landon in one word.”
I squirmed on the couch
. “I can’t. It was so long ago. We were just kids.”
Delaney put a hand on top of mine. “Come on. Close your eyes and try to remember what it was like with him.”
“But I don’t—”
“Humor me.”
I squeezed my eyes closed. Before my eyelashes met, I was hit with a surge of lust that sent my internal temperature skyrocketing. “Hot, okay. Sex with Landon was hot.”
She gave an impudent grin. “Why would you give up hot with a freaking rock star for fine with a CPA? It makes no sense.”
It made perfect sense. “Because sex with Landon is all I’ll ever get. It’s all he’s capable of. And I want—” Swallowing the heavy knot of longing clogging my throat, I took a breath before continuing. “I want so much more.”
I wiped at my stinging eyes. “When Landon left me behind all those years ago, it hurt. A lot. If he had come back, or even called, I would’ve forgiven him. And if he’d asked me to go with him, I would have done that, too. He was worth it, Delaney. And what we had…” I sniffled. “It was magic. I thought we’d have a fairy-tale ending, you know.”
“But Landon didn’t do any of those things. And just because he’s this big superstar now, I’m not going to let him treat me like I’m some kind of groupie. He owes me more than that, Delaney.”
A minute passed, but I sensed Delaney still wasn’t through. “Can I be blunt?” she finally ventured.
“Because you were soft-pedaling earlier?”
She ignored my sarcasm. “You guys obviously have unresolved issues. And until they’re sorted, you’ll never be able to have a healthy relationship with anyone else.”
“Thanks, Dr. Phil.”
“And, beyond that, you’ve been having sex with a closeted gay man for the past year—you deserve all the orgasms Landon Cox can give you.”
Good thing I wasn’t holding my tea, I would have been drenched. “Jesus, Delaney!”
“You know I’m right,” she taunted.
“Even if you are, and I’m not saying you are, what do you expect me to do, knock on Landon’s door and ask for a round of pity sex?”
“Of course not.”
I breathed a sigh of relief.
“Landon’s going to take one look at you tonight and—”
“I’m not seeing Landon tonight, or any other.”
“Yes, you are. Or have you forgotten about Travis’s party?”
I glared at her. “Of course not, but Landon never goes to Travis’s parties.”
“He’ll be there tonight; all the guys will.”
“Says who?”
“Shane.”
I gnawed on my lower lip. It was hard to argue with that.
She cocked her head to the side, staring me down. “Don’t you deserve a chance to see what you’ve been missing? Or at least figure out why you were willing to settle for fine? You’re not the same naïve college kid you were six years ago. You are smart and successful in your own right, building a career you love. If you want to have a fling with Landon, you know exactly what you’re getting into. He can’t take anything from you that you’re not willing to give.”
I wanted to argue, to tell Delaney she was wrong. Because my heart had given things to Landon he hadn’t asked for and clearly didn’t reciprocate.
But I thought about what Delaney was saying for a minute. Why was I so quick to deny myself a night or two with Landon?
Earlier, calling my sex life with Adam fine was being kind. Our sex life had been boring. Perfunctory. And infrequent.
Maybe a fling with Landon, for old time’s sake, was exactly what I needed.
Chapter Five
Landon
I hadn’t been to one of Travis’s parties in ages. But tonight, Travis insisted.
He was hosting an invite-only open-mic night and wanted us to check out a few of the acts as potential openers for our next tour.
At this point in my life, I preferred my scene less Beverly Hills glitz and more dive bar gloom. I wasn’t interested in courting Hollywood’s latest “It” girl. Why bother? Only one girl had ever been it for me.
Tonight, however, I was sick of my own company and eager for a distraction from thoughts that kept running back to Piper. Blonde hair, bronze eyelashes, skin that glowed like the palest gold. Long legs, full lips, and a fathomless blue stare that could cut to the quick or warm to the bone. My balls still felt like they were clenched in her fist.
Annoyed with myself, I looked up at the platform that was set up over the pool. In the hour I’d been here, a few acts had taken to the makeshift stage, although most intriguing was the pop princess currently killing it covering an early Gwen Stefani hit. But not even the fiery redhead holding the microphone could keep my attention tonight.
Fuck it.
I finally gave up. I might as well drive around L.A. until I found Piper’s place again. If she wasn’t home, I’d sit my ass on her stoop until she got back.
Taking my first deep breath since opening the door to my dressing room the other night, I spun on my heel and started pushing my way through the crowd.
Travis wouldn’t notice I’d left, and I didn’t give a fuck if he did.
A flash of sunshine glowing beneath the moonlight caught my eye, and I instinctively changed course. Knowing it couldn’t be her, but drawn in just the same.
Blonde hair swung my way. I stopped short, rocked by the impact of her electric-blue gaze. “Piper?” Her name left my lips as a question, not sure she was real.
“Hey, Landon.”
I shifted from one foot to the other, caught completely off guard. “I was actually just—” I looked around, spotting the men and women dressed in black wearing earpieces and shoulder mics. Security. How had Piper gotten in? “You were backstage the other night, and today you’re here…”
Her lips twitched. “You think I’m stalking you?”
“No, of course not.” Had it been anyone else, my answer would have been an emphatic yes. But I needed to understand the connection.
“Mmm-hmm,” she murmured dismissively. “Well, to put your mind at ease, I’m here because I work for Travis.”
“You work for Travis?” I repeated needlessly. The music was loud, but I knew I’d heard her correctly.
“Yes. And you shouldn’t look so surprised we haven’t run into each other. There’re over fifty people on his payroll. I doubt you’ve even met half of them.”
“How long have you worked for him?”
“Nearly three years now.”
I clenched my jaw, the implication of her answer slapping me in the face. Hard.
Piper had been close to me for the past three years—and she’d intentionally avoided me for all of them.
Can you really blame her?
Cupping my palm around her elbow, I steered Piper toward the house. There were too many people outside, too much noise. Off the main room, there was a library with a fully stocked bar. I’d retreated there on more than one occasion, back when I’d believed every one of Travis’s invitations was a command performance. “Want a drink?”
She looked uncertain for a minute, then shrugged. “Sure. Whatever you’re having is fine.”
I bit back a laugh and extended my glass in her direction. “You sure about that?”
Piper reached for it, the leaded crystal making it halfway to her mouth before she wrinkled her nose and thrust it back at me. “What is that?”
I laughed. If Piper drank the obnoxious blend of liquor I was having, she’d be unconscious within an hour. I uncorked a bottle of white wine and poured her a glass. “Not meant for sweet little girls like you.”
She shuddered and took a sip of the chardonnay instead, then lifted her face to mine. “I don’t want to be sweet. At least, not tonight.”
My dick thumped the inside of my jeans. “Yeah? Why is that?”
“Does it really matter?” She lifted a tentative hand to my shirt, her palm seeking skin. “I just know that I want to be not sweet with you.”
&nb
sp; I studied the emotions sliding across Piper’s face like a highlight reel. Hope. Fear. Desire. I could feel her nervous energy, see the skittishness of her jerky movements. “Who was that guy?”
Piper blinked in surprise, not anticipating the question. “Adam?”
I nodded.
“My boyfriend.” At my raised eyebrow, she quickly corrected herself. “Ex-boyfriend.”
I’d installed a revolving door on my zipper a long time ago, and didn’t care one way or the other about the romantic entanglements of the women I fucked. Whether they had a husband or a boyfriend, that had been their problem, not mine. But the idea of Piper cheating didn’t sit well with me, and I didn’t want to be a part of it, no matter how badly I wanted her.
“I share the stage with three other guys. Shared plenty of women with them over the years, too.” Piper winced at my crudeness. “But you, Piper…” I traced her jaw with the tip of my finger, brushing over those sweet, sweet lips. “Not gonna share you with anyone.”
Her lower lip trembled beneath my touch, warm breath ghosting over my skin. “What I had with Adam, it wasn’t—” She broke off with a slight flinch. “We were never meant to be more than friends.”
I studied her expression, trying to read between the lines. There was something Piper was holding back, but I didn’t sense any regret over the breakup itself.
I shoved one hand in my pocket and wrapped the other around my drink. “So tonight is a work event for you?”
“Yes. No.” Piper faltered, clearing her throat. “I mean—yes, I’m on the list because I work for Travis. But I don’t work on your account anymore, so tonight isn’t—”
“Anymore.” I repeated the word, rolling it around my tongue like an ice cube. “So, just how many times have we been in the same place, at the same party? How many times have you avoided me?”
“I—I…Not as often as you might think. I was mostly working with Delaney and—”
“You’ve seen me, been close to me, and yet you never—” My mouth snapped shut as I wondered what she had seen. Probably a whole lot of me trying to erase her memory with any woman—every woman—within reach.