Their evening was harmoniously spent in reading, card games and music supplied by Lady Elizabeth and Anna.
The next few days followed similar lines with the same cold, crisp weather and the snow scarcely melting during the day. Jonathan and Dr Logan disappeared into the park together on several occasions. Jane watched them trudge through the snow together towards the sledding slope before they disappeared from view. She wondered briefly about their purpose but neither would say more than that they had gone for a walk, making the most of the most fine conditions.
With each passing day Charlotte seemed more like the sister that they had known. As Jane had suspected, she slowly told Anna the history of her year of marriage – how after about four months he had started slapping her with his hand when he was displeased with the running of his house. With each move to new quarters around the country his temper had worsened until when they had received news that the regiment was to embark for India for an indefinite period, he had become completely enraged with her. The hitting had become almost a daily event and she wasn’t allowed to leave the house without his permission. Luckily one of the neighbours had taken pity on her and insisted that she write to her family and had then taken the letter to be posted. Jane silently sent a prayer of thanks to that unknown woman.
Christmas morning was warmer than the preceding days. At last the weather was relenting. The family’s morning walk to church in the nearby village was accompanied by the drip and flow of melting snow. Jane thought it strange to feel warm in the layers of woollen clothing she was now used to wearing to combat the freezing temperatures of the last week. She was glad to peel off her fur-lined woollen cloak on reaching the church.
Luncheon was served to the small group in the dining room. A number of relations, including Elizabeth’s matchmaking Aunt Lucinda, had been unable to join them for Christmas this year due to the weather, making the party for Christmas much smaller than it might have been. Upon entering the room Jane saw it had been decorated with holly for the season. A Yule log was ablaze in the old fashioned fireplace, but most surprising of all was the mistletoe hung from ribbons near the roaring fire.
“You have had the servants busy with decorations today.” Jane commented.
“Apart from bringing the Yule log in, they had nothing to do with it. Marcus and I have had that pleasure. Did we do a good job?” he asked smiling. He held out his hand. “I particularly want you to admire the mistletoe.” So saying he drew her towards the fire and Jane felt its warmth as she looked up at the ball above her head. Jonathan leant down and gave her a lingering kiss. She responded with longing. They drew apart, the gazes locked. Jane saw her arousal reflected in his dark eyes. Slowly Jane became aware of voices around her and took a reluctant step away from Jonathan and back to her social duties. Jonathan similarly withdrew his eyes from her and scanned his guests. He reached up to the mistletoe and plucked a white berry as tradition dictated, grinning at Jane while he deposited it in his waistcoat pocket. Flustered by her exposed emotions, Jane looked away. Both moved towards their families and joined in conversation.
Having eaten their fill, Jonathan announced that the ice on the lake had been checked for safety and old pairs of skates had been brought down from an upper storage room. With much excited chattering amongst Jane’s sisters, everyone put on their warmest clothes before walking to the lake, eager to try their skating legs.
The lake was frozen white. Jonathan and Dr Logan helped the younger members of the party onto the ice then turned to assist their own partners. Jane couldn’t remember ever skating. She tied the skates onto her half boots and nervously stood grasping Jonathan’s hand in a death-grip as she did so. He slid his other arm around her waist and guided her further onto the ice, forcing her to glide rather than walk. She began to relax and enjoy the feeling of Jonathan’s warm, strong body aligned with hers, enabling her to move, if not with grace, then at least with some basic competence. It was exhilarating – the cold air nipping her cheeks, her legs straining to keep her upright and she was enveloped in Jonathan’s warm embrace. After a few large circuits around the lake in this manner, Jonathan pushed a little faster, increasing their speed and releasing his arm from her waist. She wobbled, gasped, then stumbled, sure that she was going to end in a heap on the cold ice, but before it could happen Jonathan had stopped and grasped her firmly to him, with a laugh, which he quickly stifled, leaving only his eyes crinkling in merriment.
Jane’s heart beat faster, whether it was from her near disaster on the ice or from his heady presence she didn’t know. Without thinking she drew his face to her own and tasted his sensual bottom lip before kissing him open mouthed. She felt him pull her even closer until the stood face-to-face on the ice, her legs between his, which were braced apart to keep them both upright. She felt the muscles of his legs straining to support them, his hard chest flattening her breasts, and clear evidence of his arousal, as his hand on her buttock anchored her to him while they kissed intensely. Gradually, the sounds of other skaters, whooshing and laughing, falling and shouting with surprise, reached Jane’s consciousness. She opened her eyes to see Jonathan’s brown eyes, darkened with passion, looking into her own in wonder. She blushed at her own forwardness and glanced away, realising they were obvious for all to see. Her sisters in their mourning clothes were skimming around the lake like ravens, stark against its white.
Jonathan took her hand again and stepped forward into their previous skating stance, sliding them slowly around the lake again. Jane felt strangely let down, wishing their kisses could continue, wanting something more.
Soon the weak sun sank across the crisp clear sky and a night-time chill crept forth, forcing even hardy, enthusiastic Katherine to yearn for the warmth of the house. One by one they slid to the edge of the lake, undid their skates and called to the others to come in. A chilled but chattering group walked home eagerly.
Dinner was a less lavish meal, followed by present opening. Jonathan had a gift for each of his guests. Jane pulled away the brown paper tied with string and decorated with a sprig of holly, to reveal a small flat, polished timber box. She opened it with trepidation, fearing that whatever lay inside was more than she could ever deserve or repay in love and kindness. She looked up as she did so, straight into Jonathan’s eyes which held hers steadily with a look of warm regard. Breaking their gaze she glanced down to the box on her lap. What she saw there took her breath away. Not the enormously expensive piece of jewellery which she had expected and dreaded, but a small leather-bound book. Retrieving it from the box, she read its title Persuasion aloud in delight. She smiled up at him thrilled and surprised that he could know her tastes so well.
“Jonathan, it’s absolutely wonderful.” She jumped up to hug him tightly. “However did you guess that this would be something that I dearly loved and wanted?”
Self-effacingly he answered. “I did what any person of logic might do. I asked your sister what book you would most wish to receive. She, unlike me, has been privy to your book-lust for quite some time, so knew exactly what to recommend.”
Jane laughed then smiled at Anna. “Yes. Yes, she would. She has indeed been exposed to my reading preferences for many years.” Jane felt a newfound joy and rush of affection for her fiancé. Such a level of concern for her interests she had never expected from him. As she tidied away the Christmas wrappings, forgetting that Jonathan had a house full of servants to do it, Jane realised that having him as a fiancé was more enjoyable than she had envisaged. She knew now that he was gentle, generous, kind, strong, decisive and brave. This marriage was going to work, not just for its social and financial benefits but on a more personal level. They were going to be good friends at least. There was lust – this week had proven it. They were beginning to love each other; Jane was sure.
Now that all presents had been distributed and opened, Anna suggested dancing, so the drawing room furniture was moved to the walls and Elizabet
h took the first turn at playing country dances for her fellows. Dr Logan and Jonathan were kept busy with two ladies for each of them to partner. Jane watched her fiancé’s lithe form execute a series of country dances, admiring his muscular form and thinking of their heated embrace upon the ice. When Charlotte changed places with Lady Elizabeth so she could join the dancers for a last dance, Dr Logan took his rightful place as Elizabeth’s partner for the waltz while Jane found her waist encircled by Jonathan’s arm, as he leant close to her ear to ask for the dance, his deep voice sending shivers of awareness down her spine.
As soon as Jane was in his arms, all the unresolved yearnings of the afternoon returned. His fine wool coat stretched tight across his muscled shoulders was smooth beneath her fingers. She smelt the fresh clean soap that he had used when he bathed before dinner. The crisp curls against his forehead were tantalisingly close, tempting her to touch them. His mouth with its quirking, smiling lips enticed her to touch them with her own. He swept them away into the steps of the waltz before she could indulge herself. She was certain his knowing eyes understood her longing. Surely he must know her thoughts. But when the dance ended he politely engaged the whole party in his invitation to have hot chocolate before bed. As he had done every previous evening he wished them all good night and waited while they exited for their bed chambers. Jane hesitated, and in doing so became the last guest remaining in the drawing room. He turned aside from Dr Logan and smiling at her said, “Good night Jane, my dear, sleep well.” He took her hands in his and raising them kissed them both, looking warmly into her eyes.
She held his look, and her newly realised love and all the longings of the day, made her blurt out, “Come to me tonight.”
Eleven
He was motionless. His deep dark eyes were riveted to hers. They slowly closed and opened to look at her again, this time with regret. “I fear you won’t be happy with that decision tomorrow Jane.”
She bit her lip and glanced at their clasped hands before looking up at him again. “I think you’re wrong.”
His voice sounded calm and reassuring. “There will be many chances when we are married for us to share what you feel now Jane.” He linked fingers with one of her hands and drew her forward. “Come, let me escort you to your door.”
Disappointed and embarrassed by Jonathan’s rebuttal, Jane allowed herself to be led up the wide staircase to the upper floor. Her free hand trailed along the sinuous polished timber handrail. She felt like a naughty schoolgirl being sent to bed early for bad behaviour.
No, I won’t be passively led to my door, like a child, she thought defiantly. She tugged at his hand in an attempt to free it. He didn’t let go but stopped on the staircase to look down at her with a questioning expression. He must have read her truculent mood because he took two steps towards her and lifted her into his arms, stifling her resistance to him. He climbed the remaining stairs quickly and strode down the corridor towards her bedchamber.
He halted abruptly outside the door and set her on her feet. “Good night Jane, sleep well,” he said with perfect composure and lifted her hand to kiss it and take the sting out of his actions.
Jane held his fingers tightly while one hand slid up his chest, across his shoulder, to clasp the back of his head steady while she hungrily kissed his mouth. He groaned.
“Don’t leave,” she said.
“I must.”
“Don’t.” Jane recognised the passion that had been building in her all week, fed by new insights into his soul, sharpened by his thoughtful Christmas gift, and capped by her new-found love. It was a potent aphrodisiac. She decided then and there to follow its whispered call. She wanted to show him her love.
Using the hand that Jonathan had released when he took hold of her shoulder, she felt for the bedroom door handle and opened it. The door swung inward and they swayed inside together, still in each other’s arms.
“I must go Jane.” Jonathan persisted with his gentlemanliness. His actions were arguing with his words.
“You must stay,” she countered, sure of which side of his argument she wanted to win. Her busy fingers began to work on the buttons of his coat, then his waistcoat, before sliding beneath them to skim her hands over his muscled body through his soft linen shirt.
“No regrets Jane?” he asked, halting his kisses to gain her attention.
She opened her eyes to gaze unfocused into his. “This is the right decision.”
He persisted. “It is not one that you can go back on. Once your innocence is lost, it is gone forever.”
She raised herself on tip-toe to kiss his withdrawn mouth. “I want to give you my innocence,” she said.
“You must be sure.” His eyes searched hers.
“I’m sure.”
Finally he must have accepted her decision, as he gently lifted her and sat her on the canopied bed before kneeling to remove her shoes and garters. As he worked, she began undoing his cravat, destroying his valet’s skilled creation. With glee she watched the linen flutter to the floor, then gave him her full attention as he slipped off her stockings one at a time, kissing each foot as it was revealed before gently lowering it to the carpeted floor.
Kissing her lips, he drew her to her feet, plunging his hands through her hair, shedding pins in all directions as her careful arrangement collapsed down her back.
He undid the ties at the back of her neck, then she felt him peel her winter evening gown slowly downwards. The dress joined her shawl already on the floor at her feet. She felt the cool air of the room on her bare skin. Turning her, he tugged at the ties of her petticoat and stays before pulling the laces free with a graze of sound. One after the other, the garments fell to the ground. He gently pushed the shift off her shoulders, sliding her hair to one side to kiss her neck, which she tilted at his touch. His hands covered her breasts and Jane felt a rush of desire run through her body. She shivered.
He guided her under the covers into the warmth of her bed. The mattress sank under his weight as he sat to pull off his shoes and stockings. She watched him strip off his coat and waistcoat in one movement before pulling his linen shirt over his head. Only his breeches remained. He disposed of them and his drawers quickly.
She held out her arms in welcome. His warm naked body slipped into her bed and into her arms. He tenderly brought her body to ecstasy as he had done before. But she wanted more – she wanted him inside her. She kissed him fiercely, again tasting the exhilarating blend of his evening cognac and him.
Now, she lay encircled in his arms. His muscular chest felt firm beneath her cheek. Her fingers played in his hair, uncurling each soft brown spiral to its full length in fascination before releasing it to resume its former curl. She blushed to think of how she had held him tightly in her arms, kissing him ardently, and urging him with her whole body to take his pleasure from her. She had acted like a wanton until he submitted to her wish. She was at peace, perhaps for the first time in her life.
♥ ♥ ♥
Boxing Day was the first morning in the week that the weather was warm enough for Jonathan to risk riding his favourite horse out of the stable yard. He exulted in the fresh air and the exercise after his enforced idleness, but most of his exuberance came from the wonder that a night spent in Jane’s arms could bring so much happiness. This week together had fulfilled his every hope that his feelings for Jane would be matched by compatibility in their daily lives. Now he also had proof that their passions were in synchrony.
When he first met her he had wondered how her loosened hair would curl around her slender shoulders, and had tried to envisage how far down her naked back it would drape. Now, he had seen it glimmer in the candlelight as it swung to her waist. Her glorious hair. He had pushed it to one side to kiss her neck. Everything that had followed had been sublime. His happiness was complete. There was no way in which he would contemplate withdrawing from their
engagement now. He was a satisfied man.
With that thought he turned his horse for home and breakfast.
♥ ♥ ♥
Jane stretched sinuously in the cosy cocoon of her bed remembering the night before. Her body felt deliciously alive and energised. She blushed at the thought of the things they had done. Then she noticed her Christmas book beside the bed and reached over to stroke the volume and open its pages, smiling again in remembered joy at receiving the well-considered present. His gift showed he understood and approved of her interests. She now knew that Jonathan was generous, gentle and kind, but strong, decisive and brave when necessary - as his actions to help save Charlotte showed. Their proposed marriage of convenience was going to work. Surely there could be no better man for her.
This morning Jane felt that she floated from bed to breakfast room. Her thoughts were so wrapped up in the happiness and experiences of yesterday that today had a dreamlike quality.
Elizabeth was sitting at the table with an untouched cup of tea by her side. Once seated, Jane watched her friend fiddle with her toast breaking pieces off without eating any of them. This went on the whole time it took Jane to finish her breakfast. Jane began a number of conversational leads but none led to a sustained chat. She set her cup down, saying: “Elizabeth, tell me what is the matter. I have never seen you so distracted.”
Elizabeth looked up and apologised for her absorption. “Marcus is meeting with Jonathan in the library to ask him if we may marry. He has been in there half an hour!”
Jane wasn’t surprised by this development. “Surely that is a good sign. If Jonathan had said no immediately, Dr Logan would have been in and out of there within minutes.”
“Maybe Marcus is taking a roundabout way of getting to the subject.”
“It’s possible, but so is that they are discussing settlements and so forth.”
The Persuasion of Miss Jane Brody Page 13