by Scott, Lisa
Nick laughed. “Yell all you want, but it’s on the list. Get in, you might like. Want me to go first?”
“No. I’ve got this.” Couldn’t be scarier than meeting a stranger for coffee. Her breathing quickened and her heart pounded as they fastened her into the harness inside the ball. She gripped the straps and said, “Let’s get this over with.”
In moments, flashes of green grass and blue sky whizzed by as she turned head over heels down the hill, screaming the entire way. When she stopped, she watched Nick tumble down after her. Zoe was pretty sure he was screaming just as loud as she had been.
“That was insane,” Nick said, laughing after he got out of the contraption. “Want to go a second time?”
“No, I’m confident one ride down the hill allows me to cross it off the list. You’re smart for locking up that jar of jelly.”
He laughed. “Speaking of which, want to get something to eat?”
“Not for a few days,” Zoe said, placing her hand over her stomach.
“If you’re up for it, I’ve arranged for us to do a few more things on the list.”
She shrugged. “What could be worse than this?”
***
An hour later she found out what could be worse, as she zip-lined through the forest, possibly shrieking even louder than when she’d been zorbing. When she finished, Nick was waiting for her. “You were awesome!” He wrapped his arms around her.
She wanted to curl into him and hug back, but this wasn’t meant to be that kind of hug. Instead, she patted his back, all friendly like. “Thanks! And no, I don’t want to do that again.”
“Good. Because we’re going bungee jumping now.”
She plopped onto a nearby bench. “I was thinking I might work up to that—in a few years.”
“Well, we’re here now,” he said. “Let’s just go check it out.”
***
She stood on the bridge over a river, unable to move. She tried not to look at the huge drop below her, but it was too tempting. Her stomach churned just peeking at it. “I don’t think I can do this. Not yet. Maybe never. I told you this list was going to be impossible.”
Nick rubbed her arm. “No, it’s not. You can do it. Do you want me to go with you? We can do a tandem jump. That’ll still count. The list doesn’t say you have to go solo.”
Her teeth chattered, but it wasn’t cold, not at all, not even while standing so high up where a strong breeze blew past them. “Okay. Let’s try it together.”
The guide restrapped them both in. “Wrap your arms around each other.”
“Really?” Zoe asked.
“Yeah,” the guide said.
Nick put her arms around in her a quick, strong hug. “Close your eyes and it’ll be over in a minute.”
“I bet you say that to all the girls,” Zoe said, frowning.
Nick gave her a dirty look. “I promise you I do not.”
Closing her eyes, she snaked her arms around his neck, pressing her face against her chest.
“Now wrap your legs around him,” the guide said.
Zoe’s eyes flew open and she pulled away from Nick. “Excuse me?”
The guide looked at her like she was a dolt. “It’s the best way to do it.”
“I’m sorry about this,” she said to Nick. “Like you said, it’ll be over in a minute.”
“I’ve had far worse experiences, Zoe.” He grinned, and she could imagine for a moment how fun this must be for couples in love—to literally take the plunge together. Gripping his neck, she hopped up and wrapped her legs around him. This embrace should get special mention on the list, she thought.
“You guys ready?” the guide asked.
“Yep!” Nick said, while Zoe shook her head no.
“Three, two, one—jump!” the guide shouted.
Nick jumped, taking her with him. This time, she couldn’t scream, she just hung to Nick, wondering if she was going to die, wondering if she’d leave claw marks on Nick’s skin, feeling the rush of air and the warmth between them.
Nick hollered and cheered as they bounced and bobbed at the end of the rope. Then she started screaming.
“You did it, Zoe! I told you, you could do it.” Nicks arms tightened around her.
Their bouncing slowed and the guides lowered them to the ground, and helped them out of the gear. “Let’s watch the next people and see how it looks,” Nick said.
They waited a few minutes until the next pair jumped off the bridge, holding hands. Zoe’s face felt hot. “Why aren’t they hugging like we were?”
“They must not be a couple like you guys are,” a guide said.
“Oh, we’re not a couple,” Zoe said.
The guide shrugged. “You look like a couple to me. The guy up there must’ve thought so, too.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, looking at Nick.
He grinned. “I’m not.” He reached out for her hand. “Come on.”
“What now?” Zoe said, not certain she could take another adventure, certainly not with her limbs wrapped around Nick.
“Let’s go get a drink,” Nick said. “We deserve it.”
***
“Let me pay for these,” she said, as they settled at the bar. Had she ever been at a bar looking so disheveled? Her pink hair was back in a ponytail, her clothes were grungy at best, and she didn’t even want to think about how she smelled. But she didn’t care. It had been a great day with a great guy.
“I’ve got it.” Nick pulled out his wallet.
She set her hand on his. “You’ve paid for everything today—even when I put up a fight. Let me get the drinks.”
“I’m independently wealthy,” Nick said.
Zoe laughed. “Me, too. I just live like I do to keep it real.”
He squeezed her hand. “No, it’s true. My mother left me a lot of money when she died. A lot.”
Her eyebrows rose. “Twenty-grand would be a lot to me.”
“Slightly more than that. We’re talking eight figures. I’m paying for everything we do together.”
Zoe paused to remember how much money eight figures was. Her eyes must’ve been bulging when she figured it out. Still, everything they’d done today had been for the list. He shouldn’t be paying for everything even if he was a gazillionaire. She opened her mouth to argue but he pressed a finger against her lips. “I haven’t been interested in anything for a long time. Please let me do this.”
As if she needed a reminder that their time together wasn’t about her. She blinked a few times, and then nodded. “I’m sorry about your mother. When did she pass away?”
“Five years ago. None of us knew she had this fortune set aside. We lived a very middle-class life. I was actually quite angry for a while once I found out. We could’ve grown up much differently.”
“How had she set aside all that money?”
“My grandfather died before we were born. Before she was married. He left it to her, but they had some sort of falling out. She was too proud to spend it. So she invested it, hoping to give it to her kids today. She ended up having three boys and a girl. Even so, there were still millions for us to split.”
“Guess those were some good investments. That must’ve been a shock for you.”
“We haven’t all handled it well.” He looked down. “I’m sorry. I don’t talk about this with most people. I try to live my life like it was before the money. But that’s not easy. People want to borrow cash—lots of it. You question who your friends really are. You question what you want to do with your life, because now you can do anything.”
“So what have you done?”
He shrugged. “A few jobs that went nowhere. Nothing important or interesting, really. Until I met you.”
***
The beer went down easy after that. Too easy. “Any guys here from Maine?” she shouted, after her third.
A guy nearby popped up. “I am.”
“What are you doing?” Nick asked her.
“I’ve got fifty men t
o kiss. Wait, no. Just forty-eight now. Might as well get started on that,” Zoe said.
He gently pushed her back onto her stool. “Maybe you should save that one for another day.”
She looked up at him. Was he jealous? No, he probably just knew she was a little tipsy and was looking out for her. “So what’s next? Are you going to do more things on the list with me?” Zoe asked.
“I’ve got something planned for next Saturday. If you’re available.”
“I’m available. I’m always available.” She hiccupped. “Pretend I didn’t say that. It sounded pathetic.”
“You’re not pathetic. You’re fun. And you’re brave. You proved that today.”
“Jenny was braver than me. She would’ve loved that.”
“She sounds like she was a lot of fun. Did she always wear a hat, too? Like an orange one or something?”
Zoe set down her beer. “No. She bought it for me so she could find me in a crowd.” She looked at her lap, and scratched at a grass stain on her knee. “She met me at the beach one day, and I got there first and she walked around looking for me for like half an hour. The next time I saw her, she handed me the pink hat and told me to wear it so she wouldn’t miss me when we met up at the beach.” She bit her quivering lip. “She spent a lot of time in the sun because of me.”
Nick set his hand on her shoulder. “You’re not blaming yourself, are you?”
“How could I not? She died of skin cancer and I dragged her to the beach all the time.”
Nick pushed away his beer. “My mother died of lung cancer. We didn’t make her smoke those cigarettes. We begged her not to. A pack a day. For a long time I was angry that she must have known she was killing herself. Didn’t she care about us? Our father died ten years before she did. It’s real easy to find ways to blame yourself. But you’re never going to get over Jenny’s death that way. Trust me, I know.”
“I know. And I’m so sorry that you lose both your parents.” Zoe sighed. “Life just isn’t fair. She was so young.”
“How long have you been wearing the hat?” Nick asked.
“I started wearing it all the time after she died.”
He locked eyes with her. “So that she can still see you?”
She nodded and looked down. “It’s silly, I know. But it makes me feel like she’s with me.”
“And you’re fulfilling her list like you promised. I think she’s probably very happy.”
“I hope.”
***
When Zoe got home she hopped in the shower and screamed. Jenny, I am falling for this guy and it’s all because of you! She heard a few thumps on the wall. “Sorry, Mrs. Beener!”
Zoe hung back her head as the warm water sprayed her weary body. She wanted to finish the list. She had to. And Nick was making it fun—too fun. But falling harder for a guy who rejected you on the first date is a pretty humbling thing. Should she take a break from the list? Should she take a break from Nick?
***
But after talking several times during the week, Zoe agreed to another surprise adventure from the list. Whenever they chatted on the phone, she forgot about all her concerns and just enjoyed their conversation, his kindness, and his humor. She loved hearing the stories about the trouble he and his brothers got into while growing up, and how his sister, Kyla, would get lost in the woods behind their house looking for them. Whenever she felt down that they were just friends, she just made more jam. Jars of jam filled her cupboards and lined her counter. She ordered some cute labels online. Maybe she’d give them out as Christmas gifts.
When Nick picked her up on Saturday, he wouldn’t give her one clue during the hour-long ride where they were going, but when they pulled up to the site, it was clear what item on the list he had in mind. “A hot air balloon?” Zoe asked.
Nick grinned. “You did ask if I had one stashed away.”
She froze in her seat. “Wait, you didn’t buy this, did you?”
He laughed. “No, just booked a trip for the two of us.”
She stared at the big rainbow-striped balloon, wondering if she’d really be able to do it while sober. “I survived the other stuff, I suppose this won’t kill me either.” She looked down at her shoes. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful. I can’t believe you arranged this. I’m just a little scared.” Scared of heights, scared of falling to her death, and scared of the way this guy made her feel.
Nick looped his arm around her, in a tight, friendly way. “Don’t be. I bet this will be one of the best experiences of your life.”
She adjusted her hat. “You’re right. This will be fun.”
***
Zoe sat at the bottom of the basket, her hands linked around her knees. “I’m sorry. It’s scarier than I thought.”
Nick sat down next to her. “But you did it, and that’s what counts. I think all of the feet-off-the-ground adventures are over with now.”
She nodded. “Good.” How many batches of jam would she have to make to get over this?
He stood up and held out his hand. “But I don’t want you to miss this view. You’ll kick yourself if you do. I won’t let go of your hand, I promise.”
“Even if we plummet to the earth?”
“We’ll plummet together.”
She reached for his hand, closed her eyes, and then stood up. The view below was amazing. “Wow,” was all she could say.
“Wow indeed.”
Up there in the sky, she realized she was a little bit closer to Jenny, too. She looked up and smiled in case she was watching. Of course she was watching.
“You think your cousin’s watching?” Nick asked.
“You know, that’s exactly what I was thinking.” Just then, a gust blew past them, taking her hat with it. Zoe screamed, reaching for it, like she might be able to snatch it back.
“Oh, my god. Your hat!” Nick cried. They both watched the pink splotch in the sky twirl through the air, until it disappeared somewhere below.
Zoe tried to blink back the tears.
“I’ll get you another hat,” Nick said.
She shook her head. “That was from Jenny. Another hat couldn’t replace it.” She slid back onto the floor of the basket. He sat next to her and put his arm around her. How she wished she could bury her face in his neck and hug him back; spending time with a guy like Nick was going to ruin her for other men.
“Friends without benefits,” she could imagine Jenny saying. “Lame.”
When the balloon landed, Nick spent at least half an hour driving by nearby roads on the off chance they might find her hat. They didn’t. “Do you want to get dinner?” he finally asked.
Going on another pretend date with the guy she was falling for seemed like a bad idea. But hunger trumped bad ideas. “Sure,” she said. And maybe, the restaurant would have a really great dessert tray.
***
It was becoming a weekly thing, meeting for a Saturday adventure. She decided to show him Jenny’s list and Nick made a copy. Then he got busy. They swam in a fountain in the park. They drove around looking for construction projects so they could write their name in cement. They went down to the pier and dropped a message in a bottle into the ocean. Zoe was being nicer to people on the phone, even the ones who were disputing their bills. She brought in jam for her co-workers to try and a few people asked if she’d take orders.
She and Nick didn’t do anything together outside of their Saturday quests. She was beginning to accept nothing would ever happen between them, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.
On a sunny Saturday morning, she laced up her sneakers as she’d been instructed, trying to remember what was left on the list that would require sneakers. You didn’t need sneakers to get a tattoo, so that was good news. That was one item she definitely had to work up to. But if that were what he was planning, at least running shoes would help with a quick getaway.
Zoe met him in the lobby again and wondered if her knees would ever stop wobbling when she saw him. It’s li
ke her heart hadn’t gotten the news yet that it wasn’t going to happen between them.
“Ready?” Nick asked.
“Sure,” Zoe said, shoving her hands in the pockets of her sweatshirt. “I think I’ve gotten the most horrible ones out of the way.”
Nick grinned. “This one isn’t horrible at all. This one will show you that they’re all possible.”
She put her hand and her hip and shook her hear. “I swear, you’re having more fun with this than I am.”
He gave her a little punch. “Oh, I think you’re having fun, too.”
She looked at him. Oh, she was having fun all right. It just wasn’t the kind of fun she was hoping for.
***
They took the T to Kenmore square and started walking. Zoe kept an eye out for tattoo parlors. “So, where are we going?” she asked.
“We’re almost there.”
She rubbed her arms. “Just a hint?”
“Green monster,” he said.
She stopped walking. “Shut up. Fenway?”
He shrugged like he couldn’t help being incredibly awesome. “I know someone there.”
Right. She kept forgetting he was a zillionaire. “Probably the owner.”
“I didn’t grow up rich, Zoe.” He reached for her hand. “I know one of the groundskeepers and the Sox are out of town today. Come on.”
She followed him, speechless, through the gate into the park. It was strange being there with the place so quiet and empty. She sucked in a breath.
So did he.
“You’ve never been out here before?” she asked.
“No. Never thought of asking to until I saw your list.” They stared up at the empty seats while three huge lawnmowers rumbled across the turf. One of the drivers waved to Nick. Nick waved back. “That’s my buddy’s father.”
Zoe waved, too. “It was really nice of him to let us do this.”
Nick walked over to home plate and picked up a bat and glove. “He left us this. You ready?”
“Absolutely. I hope Jenny’s watching,” she said, looking up to the sky. She took the ball from Nick and walked to the pitcher’s mound. She scuffed her feet in the dirt and pretended to spit in her hands.