Nick lingers on the dance floor for a few seconds as if he’s not sure what to do, which is funny because he always seems like he knows exactly what to do. Well, good—that should teach him for showing up with Chrissy. Finally, he follows me to the table and takes a seat next to me.
“What’s going on?” he demands to know.
“Nothing,” I mutter. “I’m just taking a break.”
“But…” Nick frowns. “I thought that…”
I raise my eyebrows at him. “You thought what? You thought that I’d be super excited to see you when you showed up here with Chrissy as your date?”
A flash of anger passes over his face. “Chrissy? Jessie, I came here to be with you. Chrissy said that she’d distract your date so that you and I could…”
He suddenly stops talking, as if unsure of himself. And then I finally get it. Chrissy set this whole thing up. She planned it from the start. She wanted me to have the prom night that I wanted since the day I met Nick Moretti.
Wow, she really is a good friend.
“I didn’t realize,” I murmur. “I think… I guess she meant it to be a surprise…”
I look at the dance floor where Chrissy and Brandon are outright making out. Well, she’s sure doing a good job distracting him.
“Listen,” Nick says, “I been looking forward to this for the last month. But I don’t want to do anything to get you in trouble with your dad.”
“I won’t be living there much longer,” I remind him.
“I know,” he says.
“Next year…” I say.
“Yeah,” he says.
My ears perk up as the DJ starts playing “Total Eclipse of the Heart.” I haven’t listened to this song in a while—after things fizzled with Nick the first time, it made me too sad. But now that I’m hearing it again, I remember how much I love this song. I loved it before I met Nick, but it will always make me think of him.
“Hey, it’s your song,” Nick points out. He remembers. Of course he does.
I force a nervous smile. “Yeah.”
I really need you tonight…
“So are you having a total eclipse of the heart?” he asks me.
“Not anymore,” I say.
I hold my breath and suddenly Nick is leaning forward and kissing me. It’s dangerous because anyone at this prom could see the two of us together and tell their parents, who will certainly report back to my father. But I don’t care anymore. I want Nick. This is the kiss I’ve been waiting for. This is what I wanted all those years when I kept being disappointed by guy after guy. Nobody else could make my whole body tingle this way.
Nobody.
In less than a month, we’ll be graduating. In less than three months, we’ll both be at college and nobody will be able to keep us apart.
For over half an hour, we sit there, just kissing. I love the feel of his warm, strong body against mine. I could do this all night long, but at the same time, I want more. Kissing isn’t enough anymore. And I think Nick feels the same way.
“Hey,” I whisper in his ear, “you want to sneak into one of the classrooms?”
Nick pulls away from me in surprise. A smile creeps across his lips. “Yeah?”
I nod.
I don’t have to tell him again. He grabs my hand and we sprint out of the gym. And now I’m getting really nervous that my dad will find out about this. Not only did I make out with Nick in front of everyone, but now we’re sneaking off together.
If Dad finds out, he’s going to kill Nick. And I’m scared what he’ll do to me.
But Nick can take care of himself, and right now, my fear of my father’s fists is outweighed by my desire for the boy holding my hand. I want this too badly to think about the consequences.
We find a classroom that’s unlocked and don’t waste any time getting inside. The kissing that was gentle and controlled back in the gym becomes wild and desperate. I sit on the teacher’s desk as I rip Nick’s tuxedo jacket off his shoulders and undo his tie. When I start fumbling with his shirt buttons, he reaches to unzip my dress.
It occurs to me that he probably thinks I’ve done this before. After all, he has. Chrissy has. Claire Martini had. Most of the school has. I’m the only loser virgin left in the senior class.
“Hey,” I say softly.
Nick pulls away and looks at me with those dark, sexy eyes. God, he’s hot. “Yeah?”
“This is my first…” I bite my lip. “I’m still a virgin, Nick.”
That gets his attention. He pulls away from me, looking troubled. “Oh.”
“You’re not,” I acknowledge the obvious.
He shrugs guiltily. “We don’t gotta go all the way, Jessie. Whatever you want to do, I’ll take it.”
“I want to do this,” I say. I smile at him, trying to look sexy but more likely just looking nervous. “It’s prom night, right?”
“Hell yeah,” he says.
He’s slower after that. He unzips my dress almost in slow motion, and before he unzips his own pants, he asks me again if I’m okay with this. He asks one last time as he’s putting on the condom he’s got stashed away in his wallet, but it’s hard to believe he’d have been able to stop at that point.
I won’t lie and say it doesn’t hurt. Oh my God, it hurts. When he pushes inside me, even going slow, I feel this terrible burning, ripping sensation, and I sort of wish I’d made my first time with a guy with a smaller dick. My eyes start to water, and he brushes hair from my face.
“You okay, Jessie?” he asks.
I nod. Everyone else does this. I’m not going to be the only virgin at NYU. Besides, I’ve been waiting four years for this moment—I want this more than anything. And Nick goes so slow and is so careful, the pain eventually subsides. He kisses me while he does it, my neck and my lips, and he touches me down there even while he pumps against me.
And while he does it, I keep thinking to myself, “I’m making love to Nick. I’m making love to Nick.”
Then something happens. This incredible sensation that’s like nothing I ever felt before. I thought kissing Nick was the most amazing thing I ever felt, but this is a million times more intense than that. He takes it as a cue to speed up and a minute later, he groans and collapses on top of me.
We lie there for a minute on top of the large desk, both of us sweaty and happy. Even though the hard surface of the desk isn’t particularly comfortable, I don’t want to move. I want to lie here like this forever. But eventually, Nick climbs off me and takes off the condom. I notice that he’s staring at the latex, a frown on his face.
“Shit,” he says, which is definitely something you do not want to hear when the guy you just had sex with is looking at the condom you just used.
“What is it?”
“The goddamn condom broke,” he mutters.
Shit.
“Are you serious?” I say.
“I guess it was in my wallet for a while,” he says sheepishly.
“Well, great,” I say. “I’m going to finish high school knocked up.”
“Nah, you probably won’t.” Nick grins at me. “Anyway, if you do get knocked up, it’ll be fine. We’ll just get married.”
I roll my eyes. “Get married? You’d marry me?”
“Yeah.” He takes my hand in his. “Of course I’d marry you. I love you, Jessie.”
I look into Nick’s dark eyes and realize I feel the same way. I love him. I think I’ve loved him since the moment he showed up to rescue me from those guys on the street. I love him completely and sometimes irrationally because I know I’d be better off with someone else. But I don’t think I’ll ever feel this way about anyone else.
“I love you too, Nick,” I whisper.
That said, I really hope I’m not pregnant.
Chapter 22
Jessie
I spend the whole night dreaming about Nick.
I dream about him kissing me and touching me and making love to me. And then when I wake up, I realize that for once, it�
��s more than just a dream. It’s real. It all really happened last night.
I will never forget prom night for as long as I live.
I want to lie in bed and savor my memories of last night, but my stomach growls, so I finally get up and go to the living room, where Mom and Dad are both sitting at the dining table in a way the scares me to death. My mother is pale, but my father’s broad face is very dark and there’s a crease between his brows.
“Jessica,” he says in a low growl. “Who did you go to prom with last night?”
Oh no.
Someone told.
“Brandon Levy,” I whisper.
“Is that so?” Dad raises an eyebrow. “Because I heard from Lisa Goetz’s father next door that you spent the whole night with that Moretti kid and then disappeared with him.”
I try to play it cool even though I’m sweating in the oversized T-shirt that I use as a nightshirt. “She was lying. I went with Brandon.”
My father rises to his feet. His towering build overwhelms me and I take a step back.
“Tell me the truth, Jessica,” he says. “What did you do with that Moretti kid last night?”
I shake my head. “Nothing.”
“Did you let him fuck you?” Dad snaps.
“No! Dad, I swear…”
But I’m a lousy liar.
“I told you to stay away from that kid,” he growls. “You disobeyed me. You made a fool out of me. And now everyone is going to say Bill Schultz’s daughter is a little slut.”
“Nobody’s going to say that!” I cry.
I take another step back as my father slams his fist on the table. The impact is loud enough that I jump. I look at my mother, who usually just lets my father’s tantrums take their course. She reaches out a shaky hand and tries to touch his arm, “Bill, please…”
He brushes her off roughly, his usually fair skin now nearly maroon. “You need to learn a lesson for disobeying me, Jessica.”
And then he takes a step toward me.
I can no longer say that my father has never laid a finger on me. He’s grabbed my arm multiple times hard enough to form bruises. Once when I stayed out past my curfew, he slapped me for “worrying your poor mother.” But I’ve never seen him this angry before. Ever.
I have no idea what he’s planning to do to me, but I know it’s going to be bad.
I don’t know what else to do so I run. It’s only about ten yards to my bedroom, and he shoves down the chairs in his way as he chases me. I manage to make it just before he does and I slam the door in his face. It’s got a flimsy lock, which I turn, although I know it won’t hold long.
“Jessica!” He’s banging on the door. “You let me in, you little slut! Right now! Open up!”
I look at the window next to my bed. It’s the only way out, but we’re on the second floor. It’s a long jump to the ground. I’d almost certainly break something during the impact. And then what? Run away nursing a broken ankle?
Just as I’m contemplating my options, the door bursts open.
Nick
“What the hell are you so happy about, Nico?”
Tony is giving me a funny look as we walk together on the way to the mechanic to pick up his car. Tony’s got a piece of shit Ford Pinto that breaks down every five minutes, and he thinks the mechanic is milking him. He wants me to talk to the guy, saying that I’m better at talking to people. It might be true, but the one thing I know for sure is that I know more about cars than Tony does.
“Whaddaya mean?” I say innocently.
“Dunno, you just keep smiling like an idiot,” Tony says.
I can’t help it. Every time I think about my night with Jessie, I gotta smile. It was the best night of my life, hands down. Jessie looked so hot last night—I couldn’t even stand it. It threw me when she said she was a virgin though. Somehow I figured she must’ve lost it over the years, same as I did. At first it got me nervous, but then I realized how amazing this was. I got to take her virginity. I got to give her what she told me was her first orgasm.
So yeah. I’m happy.
“It’s that Schultz chick.” Tony gives me a knowing look. “You finally laid her, didn’t you?”
I roll my eyes. “I’m not spreading stories about her.”
“I’m your brother.”
“Yeah, and you’re the worst.”
He is. I know every girl that Tony has fucked.
He claps me on the shoulder. “Well, congratulations. I know how bad you wanted her. And there’s only a month left of school, so you beat the clock.”
“This is just the beginning,” I say. “Jessie’s going to school in Manhattan too. NYU.”
“Aw, shit.” Tony sighs. “So… what? You planning to marry her or something?”
“Why not?”
“Because you’re eighteen, that’s why not!” Tony grunts. “You can’t marry a girl you met when you’re eighteen.”
“Pop did.”
“Yeah, and I know he’s your role model.” Tony kicks some pebbles on the ground. “Look, you’re a charming guy, Nico. You could have any girl you want. You really want to saddle yourself with that girl forever?”
I get what he’s saying. But at the same time, I been out with plenty of girls and none of them do it for me the way Jessie does. If I’m with anyone else, they’ll always be second best.
That said, I really hope she’s not pregnant. We don’t need that. Jessie wanted to try to get one of those “morning after” pills, but I said no. I’m Catholic and that just seemed wrong to me. I’m going to leave it in the hands of God. He’s done good for me so far.
“Hey.” Tony shakes my arm before I can say anything else. “Nico, you see that car coming toward us.”
I see a bright white Nissan all the way down the block, moving slow. Too slow. And staying too close to the curb.
“I know those guys.” Tony sounds nervous. “They’re not good guys, and… I think they’re here to start some trouble with me.”
I glance at the car, then back at my brother. “Shit, Tony. What did you do?”
“Look, Nico,” he says. “I think you better run. Like, right now. They won’t follow you—they’re here for me.”
I shake my head. “No way. I’m not leaving you alone to get your ass kicked. There’s gotta be at least three guys in that car.”
“You should run,” he says with more urgency in his voice. “I can handle these guys. Honest.”
The car is drifting towards us, but it’s not showing any signs of stopping. That’s my first clue that things are worse than what Tony thought. The second thing that stands out is when they roll down the passenger side window. The window is open, but the car is still moving. They’re not stopping and they’re not getting out of the car.
And that’s when I see the glint of a gun.
“Tony, get down!” I yell.
“Huh?” he says.
I tackle him to the ground just as I hear the crack of a gunshot. I never heard a real gun go off before, but I feel like I recognize the sound. It’s loud as hell and a second after I hear it, I get this burning pain in my chest. There’s a squealing of tires and the white car is gone.
“Nico!” Tony screams.
I know I been shot. It doesn’t hurt as bad as I thought it would, but I feel like all the life is leaving my body as I lie on the pavement. I can’t get up. I try to say something, but I just start coughing and blood comes out of my mouth. I roll my head to the side and see crimson liquid pooling around me.
Oh Christ, I’m dying.
“Nico…” Tony’s face is hovering over mine and it’s white as a sheet, but I’m sure mine looks worse.
I can’t believe this is how it’s gonna end for me. I’m not gonna take over Pop’s business or marry Jessie. I’m gonna die on the pavement in Bensonhurst because of some idiot that Tony pissed off. And now he’s just kneeling over me and blubbering while I bleed to death on the sidewalk instead of calling for an ambulance like he should.
&nb
sp; There’s still blood in my throat, but I manage to yell at him, “Call for help!”
My words snap Tony out of his trance. He scrambles to his feet and runs down the block. It’s the last thing I see before my consciousness slips away.
Chapter 23
Jessie
I haven’t left the house since prom night on Friday. Dad hasn’t banned me from going out, but I don’t feel like going out when my face looks like this. I don’t want to go to school on Monday either—maybe I’ll just stay home. It’s not like the teachers care if we show up at this point.
I tried calling Nick yesterday when my father was out, but there was no answer at his house. Twice. Part of me is afraid to contact him though—when he sees what my father did to me, he’s going to lose it. I think in a fistfight between Nick and Dad, my father would win. Nick knows how to fight, but my father is much bigger and stronger.
Still. I want to talk to him. And I know he can’t call me.
On Sunday morning, the phone starts ringing. Only Mom is home, but I run for our cordless phone just in case it’s Nick. But it’s not Nick. It’s Chrissy.
“Hey, Jess…” Her voice sounds strained. “Listen. We gotta talk.”
“Sorry, I should have thanked you for the other night,” I say, wincing at the pain in my split lip when I talk. I duck into my bedroom so I can have some privacy before I say, “Nick and I had a great time.”
There’s a long pause on the other line. “Jess, I… there’s something important I’ve gotta tell you.”
I frown at the phone. “What?”
I can hear Chrissy breathing. She doesn’t say anything for a good twenty seconds. When she finally does, she blurts out, “Nick got shot. He’s in the hospital.”
I feel the wind get knocked out of me like someone just kicked me in the belly. “What?”
“What I heard is they were trying to hit his brother Tony,” she tells me. “And they got him instead. And… Jess, I heard he’s not in good shape. Like, critical condition and shit.”
The Girl I Didn't Marry Page 10