by Meg Xuemei X
It takes him a moment to register the nastiness of the remark. Speechless for half a minute, Kai then hisses, dark fire sparking in his eyes, “That’s a horrible thing for your mother to say about a person!”
“Which part is horrible, spitting out my bones or eating me alive?”
“Both!” he says. His ebony eyebrows crease together. “How can she judge me before she knows me!”
“Oh, she knows you. She says never count on a seventeen-year-old,” I say. The dry sense of humor I used to possess has returned to me. We’ve just brushed with death, and here is Kai, so worked up on that woman’s petty remarks. Helplessly, I burst into laughter again.
The storm in his eyes calms. His lazy, indulgent smile sends me free falling again.
“What have you done to those innocent girls?” I demand good-naturedly.
“Nothing!” he says.
I send him a ‘now’s a good time to come clean’ look.
“They came to my house to do my laundry,” he says.
Those girls must really like him to do chores for him. Laundry is on my hate list. We don’t have a washer, so we have to hand-wash everything, even in winter. My mother beats me up every time I miss getting out dirty spots on the sheets.
“Including Sha Sha?” I ask. I bet she hasn’t washed a thing for herself.
Kai looks defensive.
“I heard she also fed you.”
Kai’s expression becomes calculating. “Some of them were sweet enough to fix me something to eat when they saw I was hungry. They also enjoyed baking me cakes, since everyone knows I have a sweet tooth.”
He changed a singular Sha Sha to a collective ‘them.’ Whenever the angel twin is involved, Kai shifts from an open book to a sly fox.
He measures my dark look and matches it with his impatient, anxious one. “Let’s talk about something else.” He frowns. “I don’t like to talk about girls. It’s boring,” Over my darker look, he adds, “I’m not interested in other girls, so I don’t want to talk about them.”
He’s trying to distract my attention from Sha Sha in order to protect her. Am I that atrocious? Does he know they’re the ones who constantly harass me because of him? Uh, I get it. The twins must have told him all about my past so he now regards me as a dangerous animal and cannot allow me to go near his precious childhood friends.
Kai sees that I’ve morphed to an icy statue. He throws his hands in the air with exasperation, as if warding me off. “I never treated any of them as a girlfriend. They did everything for me willingly.”
All of a sudden, I feel sorry for all females, including myself. “And that gives you an excuse to take advantage of those poor women?” A cold flame lights in my eyes.
“Well,” he says. A blend of puzzlement and frustration move across his face. “I don’t consider my actions as taking advantage of them since I’ve never made a move. I never touched them. I never asked them to do those things.” He rolls his eyes. “And they aren’t poor women.”
Men can be such cruel, heartless animals. I’ve learned so much about them in one day! If you must have a man, let him value you as a prize. You don’t gain a man by pouring out your soul and heart for him. It’s a waste of breath.
“That’s beside the point,” I yell. “You string them along, especially your angel twin!”
“I didn’t! I told all of them, including Sha Sha, that I didn’t want a girlfriend!” he yells back, his look turning edgier. “How many times do I have to explain that to you?”
“Your actions speak otherwise, so they think they can change you or better, conquer you! And you just can’t help but enjoy girls fighting over you!” I jerk my hand from his, and quicken my pace to stay two feet ahead of him.
He doesn’t make an effort to catch up with me either. We walk in silent anger for a while toward the brick house. I’m thinking of going straight home. I refuse to be vulnerable. I won’t be one of those girls. I won’t allow any man to take advantage of me or take me for granted.
A resigned sigh rises behind me. I ignore it.
“Xirena,” he calls.
I keep my stare straight and my pace fast.
“I’ve changed since I met you,” he says. With a few long strides, he is beside me, looking sidelong at me. “Aren’t you going to give a changed man a second chance?”
“You aren’t a man yet.” I purse my lips. I want to remain upset, but I can’t help feeling giddy that he surrenders first.
He wraps his arm around my waist. I half-heartedly try to pry his hands away, but he doesn’t budge, and then I give up trying altogether.
“Do they still provide free labor for you?” I ask.
He hesitates before answering, “No, not since I’ve been with you.”
I turn to examine his eyes. He can be evasive sometimes, especially when it comes to a touchy subject, but he’s never lied to me.
“Sha Sha is a little persistent. She still hangs out at my mom’s house,” he says. “But I don’t even go home for dinner now in order to avoid her.”
“Why don’t you just tell her off directly?” I say.
“I did! As long as they think I’m available, they’ll keep coming. But I can’t tell anyone that you’re my girlfriend. I’d love to admit to the whole world that you’re my girl, but you won’t allow me to since you are hung up on this whole discretion thing. “Besides—” He stops, looking away. Then he changes the subject again. “Are you hungry?”
“Besides what?” I pursue.
He sighs. “My friends have suspected that I’m secretly seeing a girl. I haven’t been the same since I met you.” He regards me with a careful look. “They just don’t believe it’s you, despite the gossip saying we’re together.”
“Of course,” I say coolly. “I’m the most unlikely candidate.”
“They’re blind,” he says. “If they could see what I see—”
“You’re the one who’s blind,” I say.
“Look who’s really blind.” He cuffs the back of my head.
I turn to him, tip my toes, and quickly smack his head with my open palm, before breaking into a run.
“I’ll spank you after I catch you,” he shouts after me.
“You’ll never catch me,” I shout back.
He catches me before I reach the door of his red brick house, crushing me against his chest. “Who taught you to run like that?” he says. “You’re very fast for a girl.”
“I’m fast at everything.” I laugh in his arms. “You’d better watch out.”
“Worry about yourself.” Smiling, he laces his fingers with mine and ushers me into the house. Light recedes fast in winter. Kai turns on the only light bulb at the top of the second floor staircase. “When you come back next time, the electricity will be fully installed.”
“Even with light, your house feels haunted,” I say. “You know it’s the only residence over the hill, don’t you?”
“I prefer my solitude, but have no fear, Xire.” He laughs. “You have me. I’ll fight off all nasty creatures for you, including the bad wolf.”
He pulls me into the master bedroom on the second floor. It’s even larger than his studio. “This will be my room,” he says.
At the corner is a small unmade bed, and on it, a guitar in an open case. He follows my sightline. “My dad sleeps there when he guards the house at night. Come, I want you to see the view.” He leads me across the room and out to the porch.
Beneath our feet, the lighted, distant town glitters like countless fireflies floating in a dark sea of glass. I’m surprised by the lovely sight, and yet distressed, considering how determined I am to cut my roots from this place.
“It feels good to be with you like this,” he says, pulling me closer to him. “Without your worries. Without anyone spying on us.”
“And without the screaming wind,” I say, enveloping my arm around his waist.
“This is the night for us, Xire.” He bends his head, his lips brushing the top of my hair. Pleasure strea
ms down from where his lips caress.
“Sing for me,” I say, turning away from the sight of the town and facing him. “You brought the guitar for the night.”
“I brought it here earlier,” he says. “I want you to have a good time.” He strolls to the room and comes back with his classical guitar.
With his left hand positioned on the fret board, his right hand plucks the strings gracefully. Lovely sounds flow from the guitar. He sinks into the only chair on the porch. “Sit on my lap,” he commands. “I want you close to me.”
With my heart throbbing in expectation, I ease myself sideways on his lap, filling the space between him and his guitar.
“I can always sense your presence before I see you,” he says. “You have a faint bittersweet scent of the Fragrance of the Night, one of my favorites.”
“But isn’t jasmine the most popular?”
“Jasmine is too common for me,” he says. “I’m going to sing for you Fragrance of the Night—Yè Lái Xiāng.”
Yè Lái Xiāng was a popular 30’s song in Shanghai. Accompanying the guitar’s music, Kai’s deep, hypnotic voice brings me back to the period when star-crossed lovers struggled to stay together in the Chinese civil war.
“The Southern breeze’s fresh and cool
A nightingale cries mournfully
Under the moon the flowers dream,
Except for the Fragrance of the Night,
Its scent haunts the darkness,
I love this boundless night
And the nightingale’s melody.
Most of all I love a dream of the Fragrance
of the Night.
Embracing it, kissing it
Yè Lái Xiāng
I serenade you.
Yè Lái Xiāng
I think of you.
Yè Lái Xiāng, the Fragrance of the night…”
When he finishes the lyrics, the perfect notes from his voice and the guitar still haunt the night. I fall into an enchanted dream.
“You’re my tuberose,” he whispers in my ear.
I throw my head back, tilt my chin, and glance up at him. “I’m not a night-blooming—” The rest of my protest, “but a flower that blossoms in the coldest winter” is smothered, when a shadow creeps in, looming toward us.
Immediately, I curse myself. I’m never vigilant when I’m around Kai. I’m lost in his singing and scent for only a few minutes and the beast comes back.
“Kai!” Warning him, I snap my head toward the shadow and grab the neck of Kai’s guitar, our only handy weapon. But then, I release my grip.
It’s not the wolf, but a middle-aged woman. Kai has turned his head too. He’s so startled that he breaks a string of the guitar. The sound is harsh against the quiet night.
The sun-dark woman is as strongly built as Kai. I instantly know she’s his mother.
She stops at the entrance of the porch, shooting me a freezing look.
I stare right back at her. She grimaces and averts her eyes, as if being stung by a hornet. I feel a tinge of regret. Perhaps I shouldn’t have given her my icy expression. She’s Kai’s mother after all, but she started it.
Kai notices the brief exchange. He coughs to cover his nervousness. “Mom, what are you doing here? You’re not supposed to be here tonight.”
The hard look in his mother’s eyes changes to a soft glow as she turns to him.
I draw myself upright before I get off Kai’s lap. He seizes my hand, keeping me close by his side.
“What are you doing here?” his mother asks back.
Kai puts his guitar against the wall across from the porch rail; his other hand still holds mine.
Leaning against the handle of the chair with a bored expression, I stare ahead into the distance, but I let nothing escape my peripheral vision.
“Well, as you can see, I’m guarding the house.” Kai stands up. “Dad said he wouldn’t stay here tonight, so I volunteered for night watch.” He looks at his mother ruefully. “Didn’t he tell you? He can’t be that forgetful.”
“This is how you guard the house, with an underage girl?” his mother says.
I glance up at Kai. His brows crease. “We’re not doing anything illegal.” He then sighs. “Xirena is a little young, but I’m waiting for her to grow up. While I’m waiting, I like spending time with her, getting to know her more and more, you know.”
“So while you’ve been spending time with her, you’ve also spent the money for next summer’s art classes on her leather outfit?” She gestures at me curtly and wrings her hands to contain her temper.
He did that? If I had known, I wouldn’t have put it on. I wouldn’t have let him spend his money for class on me, but I manage not to shift my position, not to show my discomfort, and not to let a stunned expression break my mask.
“You should stop opening my personal packages without asking me, Mom,” Kai says. “I thought you agreed to respect my privacy last time we talked.”
“I thought you got them for Sha Sha. And now you’re throwing away your future for some girl—”
“Xirena isn’t just some girl.” Kai flashes an anxious glance at me.
“Should I leave you to discuss your family issues, Kai?” I cut in with a light-hearted tone, as if I were not affected at all. I won’t allow anyone get under my skin except for Kai.
His mother nods icily. “Yes, you should leave. It’s family business between my son and me.”
“Xirena will stay. She’s in my life now. I don’t hide anything from her.” Kai wraps his arm around my waist while his eyes fix on his mother. “I’ve told you, I’m not interested in Sha Sha.”
“All I’m doing is making sure you don’t throw your future away,” she says. “Believe me, my son, no one will put your interests above all except your own mother.”
“I’m not throwing it away. My future is with Xirena,” he says firmly.
“That’s not the future I’m talking about,” she sighs. “You’re too young to see the big picture. You make this mistake, you’re trapped forever. I’m talking from experience.”
“This is the life I choose, even if it’s a mistake in everyone’s eyes,” he says. “When I decided to be an artist, you said that was a mistake too. Painting was the heart of my life until I met Xirena. If you truly care about me, how can it be so wrong in your eyes for me to live out my passion and be with the girl I love?”
“You’re with the wrong girl!” she says. “In contrast to this girl, Sha Sha has a fine upbringing, good character, and an impeccable reputation. You’ve known each other since childhood. Even you said she’s sweet and pretty, and she’s close to your age. I don’t want you to regret that when you realize Sha Sha is the one.”
“I know Sha Sha is wonderful and all, but I’m just not into her.” He shrugs. “I won’t regret a thing.”
“Any boy with an ounce of common sense would pick Sha Sha over this girl any day!” His mother gestures at me again, dismissively.
“If you want me to be like everyone else, then you’ll be very disappointed,” Kai barks back. “If I were just like all the folks here, I’d never be able to think outside the box, and that’d be the end of me as an artist. Xirena and I are the same kind. I choose her over any girl without blinking an eye.”
“You’re making no sense, boy,” his mother says.
“You can find thousands of girls like Sha Sha, but there’s only one Xirena in the whole world. Good or bad, Xire is one of a kind—a singular and matchless.” Kai pauses to take a breath. He’s been talking so fast. “I admit I see things differently than you, than all of you. But when I see a quality, I recognize it. So, Mom, trust my judgment and allow me to decide my own life, please.”
Gnashing her teeth, his mother shakes her head in frustration. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you. You’re like a mule that refuses to be led to the right track. This mistake is going to cost you your future!”
“Hey, hey, easy, Mom.” Kai lets go of my waist and walks to his mother. He
hugs her, patting her back. “You shouldn’t get so stressed out like this. Didn’t you forget you have high blood pressure? You should relax more and enjoy life instead of constantly worrying about me and planning for me.” She calms in his arms. And he grins at her, teasing. “Don’t be like a busy bee.”
She melts when he smiles. Before her anger wanes in her, I catch a flicker of fear in her eyes. Suddenly I understand why she hates me. She’s afraid that I, a stranger whom she doesn’t approve, will take her son away from her.
The tradition in our town requires that a couple meet through formal introduction with both parents present. I’ve robbed her of her parental privilege and am crushing her hope of getting to select the perfect girl for her son. Any mother would hate me for breaking this long tradition of arranged marriages.
“I believe I’m the most accommodating mother. I’m only asking you to keep your options open, or at least give Sha Sha an equal chance.” She smoothes her short hair back from her high forehead after her son breaks the embrace, having pacified her. “I think Xi here . . . shouldn’t be intimidated by a healthy challenge if she thinks she’s good enough to compete for you.”
“My name is Xirena. I’m not intimidated by anyone or anything, and never will be.” I try to be as polite as I can, for Kai’s sake. “It’s understandable that you don’t like me. That’s fine with me. But I want you to know I would never hurt Kai. He’s the only person in the world who has the ability to see the real me. And he thinks much higher of me than I’m worth.”
“You’re worth everything, Xire,” Kai says fiercely yet gently.
I look into his eyes that have turned golden desert in the moonlight, and the chilly room no longer feels cold.
“It’s getting late, Mom. I’m taking Xirena home.” He walks back to me, his lips brushing against the top of my head before he goes to collect his guitar and backpack.
For a brief second, I consider bidding good night to his mother, but then decide against it—the heat of her resentment is still thick in the air. So I brush pass her quietly instead. I’m used to aggression, but somehow her rejection gets to me, more than I’d like to admit. I sigh inside. After all, she’s the mother of the boy I’m with, and she obviously loves him very much.