by Meg Xuemei X
“I’ll go to college in a year and half,” I say. “You’ll leave in half a year. No matter what, you’ll have to leave me behind.”
“I’ll skip college this year. I’ll wait for you,” he says. “I’ll care for you, and I’ll apply for any college that you choose next year.”
For a few seconds, I forget how to breathe until my lungs demand air. All my life, I’ve wanted to be free. And now freedom flies into my palm like a beautiful bird.
“I know how much it means to you to get into the Central Art College this year,” I say. “I can’t let you throw your future away.”
“Nothing matters if I lose you,” he says. “I feel dead without you.”
“You’ll not lose me, and I’ll not let you waste a year either,” I say.
“I’ll take care of you, Xire. I’ll make sure you have enough to eat. You’ll have proper clothes for every season, and at night, your nightmares will not come near you again.”
At night? My eyes sharpen, diving into his to incise his intention. After all, is my virtue the price of the liberty he offers me? My cheeks suddenly burn with shame. As Kai said, I should really break this pattern of suspecting everything.
“It won’t be like we’re sharing a room or anything like that. I’m aware that you’re only fourteen.” He flushes, mistaking the reason I blushed. “You’ll have your own room, but we’ll have to live with my parents. They’ll adopt you to make it legal, so the school can’t expel you.”
Despite Kai’s optimism, I know the situation will be direr than we expect.
“Are you aware the whole town will be against us if we do this?” I ask. “It’ll defend its traditions to its last breath.”
More than that, Kai’s dream of being a great artist and my hope of discovering new civilizations in outer space might both be shattered. But one look into Kai’s bronze eyes, where the fountains of love for me never run dry, I banish all fear and anxiety.
“Then let’s kill its last breath.” He makes a brutal gesture of snuffing out a candle flame. “What else is on your bucket list of challenges?” He flashes a white smile.
“Your mother,” I say, licking my lip. “She doesn’t approve of me. She’ll never accept me.”
“I’ve chosen you.” He tilts my chin. “If my parents can’t deal with that, then they’ll have to disown me. But while you’re staying with me, I’ll make sure they respect you. I promise.”
“You’ll break up with your family, for my sake?”
“Don’t you know already that I’d do anything for you, Xirena?” he says. “How many times do I have to convince you?”
I remove his hand from my chin and press my face against his warm throat. Before I purr, I remember something else. “What about money?” I look up at him.
“What about it?” He arches an eyebrow.
“We need money to buy food, if we have to provide for ourselves.”
“Oh, that.” An easy grin breaks again on his face. “I’ll make money. I’ll sell all of my paintings.”
“They’re very important to you.”
“You’re more precious than anything.”
“But can you . . . really sell them?”
“Do you have doubts about me?” He narrows his eyes at me.
“No,” I say. “Of course not! But most artists can’t make a living before they become well known. And most of those have only gained fame after death.”
“Like Vincent Van Gogh,” he says. His mood turns grim for a moment. But the sunny boy soon lifts his spirit with a determined look. “We’ll move to a big city to have a better chance.”
“Big cities have a strict residency censorship to stop people like us from pouring into their territories,” I say.
“We’ll find a way to go around the government. We’ll stay with Randi for a while,” he says. “I’ll do anything to have food in your stomach and a roof over your head.” His lips slightly rub against my temple, sending a buzz of pleasure over my skin despite the cold air pressing against us. “Even if I don’t have anything to eat, you’ll eat.”
“You think I’ll eat while you go hungry?” I ask, offended, despite the pleasure I’ve just received.
“No one is going hungry, my love,” he says.
With the survival issue addressed, something else pops into my mind. “What if—”
“What, Xire?” he whispers seductively in my ear. His breath drives a wave of electricity down my neck. I close my eyes, and my lips part.
“What, what if,” I force the words out, “you get fed up with me and you don’t love me one day?”
“You’re terribly silly sometimes, my Xire,” he chortles. “I won’t stop loving you even after the earth burns to ashes. Even when I don’t exist anymore my soul will continue loving you.”
“What if you find out I’m just damaged goods?” I ask.
“Even if you were damaged goods as you say, the two of us will have to make you whole again.”
“Like Chinese porcelain?”
“The most beautiful kind.”
“What if after you put the vase together, it contains nothing but venom and you can’t get rid of me?”
That’s my last warning to Kai, warning for him to get away from me. I have venom in me. Part of me desires to destroy everyone in my path. My family has never been nice to me, but I also do my best to make their lives miserable. My icy manner is one of my ways of doing that. On many a night, I’ve wandered to the bedside of every member of my family, fighting the urge to strangle the life out of each of them, and knowing one day I’d lose it. Worst of all, whenever Kai, the only person that matters to me in the whole world, displeases me, the first thought that comes to me is to punish him and hurt him—a callous side I hate, but can’t shake off.
Kai’s voice becomes solemn. “Xirena, it doesn’t matter to me if you’re venom or honey.” He cups my face. “In fact, I know more about you than you think I do, including everything you’ve done or said in public.” Over my wary look, he adds, “I couldn’t help it. I was fascinated by you.”
“And after you’ve found out everything about me, you still want to be with me?”
“I’ve always wanted you. Nothing and no one can change that.”
Our souls must have been intertwined since the beginning of our existence. It’s the only logical explanation for his unconditional acceptance of me. I blink back tears. For better or worse, I’ll stay with him forever. Even if hell rains down fire on us because of it, let it be. “Swear,” I demand. “Pledge your loyalty to me.”
He frowns, raising an arched eyebrow. “Do we really have to do that?”
I shoot him a dark look.
After he has a good chuckle, he turns serious. Pulling out a pocketknife that he often carries with him, he unfolds it and slides the blade across his left palm. Blood drips to the dry weeds beneath our feet. He vows, “By Heaven and Earth . . .”
“Wait.” I stop him.
“I’m getting to it, Xire!” he says.
I take the knife from him. The blade is still wet with his blood. I cut my right palm until it bleeds. I link my palm to his, and our blood joins.
“By Heaven and Earth,” he locks eyes with mine, “I, Kai Song, vow to love Xirena till the end of earth and the end of time. Should I break my oath, let lightning strike me dead, or let all forms of death and torment . . .”
Being stricken by lightning is rare, but other forms of death . . . I won’t let that happen to him, even if he stops loving me, even if he betrays me, even if he hurts me in horrendous ways that I can’t even imagine. In a nanosecond, my lips press on his, sealing off the rest of his oath.
Kai freezes like a stone statue, but his lips feel warm and soft, both familiar and strange to me. His fresh breath mingles with mine, and his young boy’s heat and scent embrace me intimately.
I twist my fingers into the thick of his hair, binding him, so he can’t get away. My mouth sears hot on his; the tip of my tongue demands that he parts his s
culptured lips.
The stone boy swirls back to life. He slides his hand behind my neck and releases the fire he’s been holding back. His lips claim mine with a primitive and possessive desire. As he deepens the kiss, I savor his raw hunger, something not for the faint-hearted.
The kiss tells me that I’m his and that there will be no others after me. Like a pair of wild Mandarin ducks, we choose each other for life.
So I burn like supernova; I’m made to kiss like this.
Then something cold and light falls onto my face. At first, it’s only a drop or two. It dissolves on my skin like an angel’s tears. I ignore it. Not even an angel’s sword could put out the white and red fire sizzling between Kai and me.
The cold, wet things keep coming, more and more, falling onto my face, in my hair, and on my fingers still tangled in his hair. They’re everywhere, on us and surrounding us.
It doesn’t feel like rain. Even if it’s stardust, I don’t want to open my eyes to find out. A few flakes float through the narrow space between Kai’s face and mine, melting on our interlinked lips, sharing the passion of our flesh.
Kai gently draws back from me. “It’s snowing,” he murmurs in my ear with utter happiness. I let him go reluctantly and my eyes fly open.
White feathers drift through the vast blackness. For a while, we’re unable to do anything but hold each other, like two children in wonderland, watching the snow transform the Ducklings’ Nest to a fairyland—the ground is white and soft, the silvery trees are bridesmaids, and the stream flows like time has frozen, while white wings land on the dark water with a goodnight kiss.
“It’s always deadly cold in the winter, but we haven’t had snow for fourteen years,” Kai says in amazement. “Change has come to our town.”
I’ve been told that I was born at midnight during the heaviest snowfall. “You gave me hell even at your birth!” my mother used to say. And then it occurs to me that I’ve just passed my fifteenth birthday.
Swelling with a feeling, I stretch my hand, catching a plum flower shaped snowflake. Only then do I notice that my palm is still bleeding from the cut. Pain shoots up my arm. I wince.
“Sorry, love. I should have tended to your hand earlier.” Kai quickly unfolds his silk scarf from around his neck and tears it into two shreds. He bandages me first and then himself with military efficiency.
“I’m fifteen,” I whisper.
“What?” He stares at me.
“I’m fifteen tonight, Kai.” I laugh.
A proud look seeps into his smoldering eyes, and he smiles, as if he can’t wait for me to grow up. Without a word, he lifts me, swinging me high amid the soft, flying whiteness. I lace my fingers tightly around his neck. We spin like the lovers in my music box, and that’s when I see the white wolf again.
It stands amid white trees, a dozen feet from me. If it were not for its ice-grey eyes gazing at me with piercing intensity, I’d think its presence was but a white shadow.
My blood runs cold. “Put me down, Kai!” I breathe frost.
He at once sets me down. “Dizzy?” he asks in concern. I whirl toward the direction where I spied the beast. It’s no longer there! My heart pounds; my breath shortens, but I step toward the spot with determination. Pacing around where the wolf posed for me, I glue my eyes to the snow-covered ground—there is no hint of its footprints, or any evidence a living thing was there.
I squat, scoop up a handful of snow, and sniff it.
“What are you looking for, Xire?” Kai comes up behind me.
“Nothing. I imagined it.” I rise to my feet. And suddenly the wind brings the strangely familiar scent of Ixora. I shut my eyes, and the faint fragrance sweeps around me and then disappears.
“Happy fifteenth birthday, my love.” Kai slips his arms around my waist from behind. I shift in his arms, turning to face him, my hands clasping behind his neck. Without missing a beat, he leans down to kiss me, hotly and deeply. The kiss drives away all thoughts and doubts from my mind, until I can think only of him and his touch. Until we’re both breathless.
“We’re going to celebrate your birthday,” he whispers, his thumb tracing the bottom of my now swollen lips. “But first,” the amusement in his eyes fades, and his face turns solemn, “we have a war to fight. Are you ready, my wolf girl?”
I flash him my warrior’s smile, though I flinch inside at his choice of title.
“Let’s bring down the storm then,” he says, holding my hand and leading me out of the Ducklings’ Nest.
THE BEGINNING OF A WAR
Kai raps on the door like a bad-tempered bear.
The heavy door opens with a loud creak. My cold eyes train on the emerging enemy. My chest heaves as I imitate Kai’s battle stance when we faced the wolf.
“Easy, love,” he says.
The imaginary wolf turns out to be my father. His eyes widen with confusion at the sight of a boy and me together.
“Where is she?” I ask in a flat tone.
“She? You mean your mother?” my father asks.
Kai nods with a harsh look. “We need to talk to you folks.”
“Oh,” my father says. “What’s it about? If you haven’t noticed it, it’s the middle of the night.”
“I love Xirena.” Kai looks at me, his features softening, but when he turns back to my father, his complexion hardens again. “I’ve come to take her with me. From now on, I’ll be the one who takes care of her.”
“Love her? You?” My father’s eyes travel from Kai to me, then back and forth. “You’re joking, right? And you do understand that it’s the middle of night?”
I ignore my father and push the door fully open. He looks sober as he steps aside. I’m sure later he’ll tell his wife that he had no choice but to let us in.
Kai and I move in through the doorway, his warm hand holding mine firmly and encouragingly.
My mother stands in the center of the dining room, staring hard at us, her hands on her hips. “Xirena,” she opens her mouth, “why are you bringing an outsider into our house?” She adapts a softer tone. “Would you go so far to hook up with a stranger and go against your own family?”
“You’re not my family,” I say, my face a stone.
“No matter how you deny it, my darling daughter,” she says, “blood is thicker than water.”
“Spare me the bloodline crap. You’re the last person who has a say on that,” I say. “Tonight I’m severing all ties with you, with all of you.”
A cruel smile pulls at her hardened, slanted mouth. “This is how my dear daughter treats her own family.” She turns to Kai. “Don’t think for a minute she’s cute, because the next second, she’ll bite you at your throat like a wolf. Walk away, boy, before it’s too late. Only I know how to handle her.”
“You’re not handling her! Not anymore!” Kai’s deep voice booms with righteous anger. “No mother will degrade her daughter the way you have. I know how you treat her!” He gently tilts my face to one side to show her the bruises she caused.
“Tsk.” The woman clicks her tongue. “You’re young, so I’m not surprised she fooled you. You’ve known her only a few months, but I’ve known her for fourteen years. Xirena has been a notorious manipulator, a liar, a thief, and a sociopath ever since she was a little girl.”
The woman stares straight at me uncompromisingly—it strikes me that she really thinks of me like that.
“Go check her reputation, if you don’t believe me.” She sighs sorrowfully. “I have to discipline her sometimes to right her so she won’t be a menace to the society and end up rotting in jail.”
“You’re worse than all of what you said about her,” Kai says. “They should have locked you up long time ago so you wouldn’t have had the chance to hurt your own daughter!”
Rage distorts the woman’s face. “Who the hell are you to talk to me like that, beast boy? Get out of my house!” she commands. “And leave that wretch! She’s mine!” Her black eyes are callous and sharp as steel—
&nb
sp; But mine are razors. “You have no claim on me,” I say. “I’m no longer your daughter.”
“That’s right!” Kai adds. “Don’t ever try to lay a finger on her again!”
“She is my daughter, my property,” she says, leering. “By the town’s law, I can kill her and no one will say a word!”
“Then you’ll have to get through me.” Kai forms his fists at his sides. Wrath fills his eyes like a black storm.
“Calm down! Calm down!” My father cuts into the space between his wife and Kai and me. “Let’s not get excited. Let’s discuss it in a civilized manner.”
Both his wife and Kai glare down at the man, who clears his throat and raises his hand. “I speak first.” He refuses to look at his wife, so he keeps his eyes on Kai. “If you take Xirena away, then we’re not obliged to support her financially.”
“You’ll be off the hook this very minute,” Kai says. “I’ll take full responsibility for Xirena’s welfare.”
“Including her college fee and boarding costs?” the man asks. His eyes show more white than black.
“Yes. I’ll pay everything for her,” Kai says.
Delighted relief moves across the man’s face. He glances at Kai with a friendlier look.
“No!” The woman shoves her husband aside and he stumbles. “I won’t allow it.”
She wants to keep me for the game. What fun can the hunter have if there is no game in the woods? I know for sure she won’t pay for my college, but at this moment, she’d say anything and do anything to win. When she tears me from Kai, she’ll savor her victory and fix me good.
“Like your permission counts,” I say, turning to Kai. “Let’s get out of here. We’ve wasted enough time.”
Lunging, the woman grabs my arm. I’m near her, and Kai happens to be on my other side. I wrench from her grip. She then snatches a pair of chopsticks from the dinette table to smack my head. Before I can counterattack, Kai has leapt before me, shielding me and covering my head with his hands.
I hear the sound of the wood chopsticks crashing against flesh and breaking with sharp snapping sound.