by Christa Lynn
I change into yoga pants and a tank, brush my teeth and wash my face. I grab the laundry basket and head out toward the laundry room. He’d better be gone or I am going to go off on him. As I peer around the corner, the living room is empty. He’s gone. But he left something on the coffee table. I ignore it for now and put my laundry in, starting the washer. I straighten up the kitchen and the living room, constantly glancing at the envelope on my coffee table. It’s a medium sized envelope and I am curious as to what’s in there, but afraid to look at the same time.
After about twenty minutes, I’ve had enough of the anticipation. So I sit down and pick up the envelope. It’s light and flat, nothing material in there so I assume its papers. I decide to call Heather before I open it, maybe she will come over first. “Hey, it’s me. Can you come over for a minute?” I ask her, my voice shaking a bit.
“Yeppers, be right there.” And she hangs up. Since she is in the next building, it’s only about five minutes before she opens my door and walks in.I look up at her and she has that look in her eyes, thatI Tried To Warn Youlook.
“I’m sorry, Heather. I should have let you talk earlier. This is so fucked up.” And I burst into tears. Why? I’m not really sure, but the tears start falling and I can’t stop them. Heather wraps her arms around me and rocks, kind of like a mother does with her crying baby. It’s soothing, for a minute. Then I snap out of it and push her away.
“He was here when I got home. I got angry and told him to leave, but when I came out of my room this envelope was here and I didn’t want to open it alone.” I tell her.
“I know he was here, I let him through the gate. Had I known you weren’t home, I would have told him no. But YOU didn’t bother to call ME and tell ME where you were.” She says.
“Heather, I don’t have to tell you everything. I wanted to see how the night went before jinxing it.” And she seems okay with that explanation, so I continue.
I tell her about the conversation with Jackson and she sits quietly while I do, which is unlike Heather. Usually she’s all up in the conversation, interrupting and such. But she let me talk this time. I’m not really sure what I feel right now, but confusion and excitement don’t mix and I can sense both, though I wish I felt neither. I’m not sure that even makes sense, but it’s the truth. I wish I could go back three months and decline that trip to Miami, because that’s where all this shit began.
“Are you ready to open the envelope, Ally? Cause if you aren’t, I’ll do it for you.” Heather says as she tries to take the envelope from my hands, but I am clenching it so hard she can’t pull it from me.
“No, I need to open it. I just can’t figure out what it would be and I’m scared to find out. A note? An apology? What? I’m not sure I even want to know, but I guess I need to see what it is.” I tell her as I open the clasp on the envelope. I peek inside and see two smaller envelopes. I pull them out and my eyes widen when I see what’s in there.
I hold the documents in my hands and start shaking again. The first is a round trip airline ticket to New York’s LaGuardia Airport, for this weekend. Departing Friday and coming back Sunday evening. “I can’t go to New York this weekend, I have a date with Chase.” I whisper. Heather snatches the tickets from my hand and squeals.
“New York! Holy shit, Ally!! You’re going to New York!” She is now bouncing on the sofa all excited like it was her that got the tickets.
“Settle down Heather, I’m not going.” I tell her as I grab the tickets from her and put them back in the envelope. “There’s something else here, a note.” I hold it in my hands and slowly unseal the envelope. It’s a hand written note, obviously in Jackson’s handwriting.
Alexandra,
Please use this ticket to join me in New York this weekend. I know I have a lot of explaining to do, and will do so this weekend. A car will pick you up at LaGuardia after your flight lands and take you to your hotel. At seven p.m., I will meet you in the hotel ball room. I know this is an unconventional way to do this, but I have to explain to you what happened and where I have been for the past three months. I have only reserved one night for you in the hotel, in the hopes that you will accept my apologies and explanations and stay with me Saturday night. We will fly back to Atlanta together on Sunday.
Sincerely,
Jackson
“Sincerely? He signs itSINCERELY?Damn this man has a lot of nerve! He frustrates me so much. Well, he can enjoy his weekend in New York - without me, because I’m not going. He can Kiss. My. Ass.” I tell Heather as she just sits there smiling. “What are you smiling about? This isn’t happening.”
“Ally, really? Of course you’re going, how could you pass this up?” Heather is much more excited than I am.
“Heather, you already apologized for pushing me to him, why are you doing it again? I thought you were my friend!” I shove the tickets and note back in the envelope and get up to go to the kitchen. Suddenly, a glass of wine is desperately needed.
“I know, but that was when I thought he was an ass. He’s trying to make it right and I think you should give him a chance. He obviously likes you, a lot. You should go and see what he has to say, then make your call.”
“I’m making the call now, and I’m not going. Whatever he has to tell me, he can tell me here.” I say.
Heather reminds me, “Ally, you pushed him away before he could tell you, you didn’t let him explain.”
“It’s been three months! He’s had THREE MONTHS to explain!! I’ve moved on with my life and I have a date with Chase this weekend. I am not going to cancel on him to go to New York and maybe receive a legitimate apology from someone I am not even sure I want. It’s over and it doesn’t matter anymore.”
“Of course it matters, or you wouldn’t be acting this way, Ally.”
“What? How am I acting? Angry, confused? Yeah? Cause I am! This man seems to think he can jump in and out of my life with no repercussions. Well, I got news for him. He fucked up the last time and lied to me! Then he disappeared for THREE MONTHS and now suddenly he thinks he can swish back in and sweep me off my feet? No damn way. I have more respect for myself than that. I may not be beautiful like you, but I still have my self-respectand I will not let JacksonfuckingBentley take that away from me. I am my own person and I will make my own decisions. If he thinks he can make me do things his way, he’s got another thing coming.”
I take the envelope and place it in a drawer in the kitchen then I fill my wine glass. I take a big gulp, downing the whole thing and slam the glass on the counter, breaking the stem. “Shit!” And I throw the glass in the trash, completing the breaking process. That was my favorite wine glass too. Hand painted with flowers...and oh, who gives a shit? I’ve got bigger problems than a damn broken wine glass.
Thankfully it’s only Tuesday, so I have time to think and figure out what I’m going to do, and what I’m not going to do. Right now, I am NOT going to New York, but my feelings could change over the week so I decide to see how the days go between now and then before completely making up my mind. But to Heather, I am not going.
“Ally, you need to really think about this. He’s making an effort, you should give him the time to explain. There may be a simple explanation for everything and you could be over reacting.” Heather says as she comes up behind me.
“Heather, put yourself in my shoes. If some rich, gorgeous man.....wait, never mind. If some man comes into your life and does this, how would you react?” I know I am digging my own grave, but I need to try and get her to see things my way.
“I would give him a chance, cause if I didn’t I would always wonder if he was the one that got away. Could you live with that if you realize he is the one, long after he’s gone?”
As usual, Heather has a point. Heather always has a point, which is why I love her. She makes me think. I don’t always agree with her, but I’m pig headed and sometimes I need her to slap me down a few notches.
“I’ll think about it.” I tell her, grabbing a new wine glass and filling it. “
Right now I need to calm down and guzzle this wine. Tell me about your day.” Yes, I am trying to change the subject.
“Nothing special. I don’t have near the excitement in my life as you do.” She snickers.
“Not excitement. Annoyance, grief, frustration....shall I go on?” I snicker back. “Things just started to calm down. I just met Chase and he’s nice and I’d like to see him again. Maybe I can call him and change our date to Thursday night, but I guess I would have to explain to him why......no, I don’t. I don’t owe him explanations yet. We’ve only been on one date.” Heather just nodded her head in agreement. She may be talkative and nosy, but she knows when to keep quiet and let me think out loud. Most of the time anyway.
“Tell me about Chase.”
“Well, he’s tall. Black hair and light brown, almost amber eyes. A little scruffy in the face, but I don’t mind a little five o’clock shadow. He’s nice. Sad I know, that is all I can say to describe him. Oh, except that he obviously works out. When I slammed into him, it felt like I hit a wall.” I chuckle. “He seems more my type than Jackson is. Safe, maybe. I don’t know. Jackson doesn’t feel safe. He seems like the bad boy who's full of trouble.” Okay, now I’m rambling. But Heather doesn’t say anything.
“See if you can change your date with Chase to Thursday, then go to New York on Friday. If things don’t work out, change your return ticket and come back Saturday. I’ll pick you up at the airport if you need me to.”
“We’ll see. I have a few days to think about it. I think if I go, I am giving into Jackson and that is the last thing I want to do. If he really wants me, he’s going to have to work for it. I’m not handing anything over on a silver platter. Why did he have to show back up after all this time, just when I’m moving on?”
“Maybe he knew you were moving on and decided he needed to get back here before you forgot all about him.” Heather says. “Is it possible he knew about your date with Chase?”
“I doubt it. They don’t work in the same building, nor are they in the same line of work. In fact, I’m not even sure what Chase does, we never talked about that. Guess I should find out huh? Wouldn’t want to get too involved and then find out he’s a porno movie director or something.” I say sarcastically and Heather spews her wine all over me. Guess I should watch what I say when someone has a mouth full, huh?
“Damn girl, too fucking funny! Yeah, I guess it’s not a bad idea to find out. Surely they aren’t connected somehow, but you’d better find out. That would really suck.” Heather comments as she’s grabbing a towel to wipe her face, and mine. She refills her drink and walks back to the living room, flopping on my sofa.
“I’ll call Chase tomorrow and reschedule for Thursday. No, wait. Shit! I don’t know what to do!” I say, pulling my hair through my fingers. About that time my cell rings. “Who could that be?” I ask as I grab my purse and dig for my phone. It’s Chase. Wow. Talk about coincidence.
“Hello?”
“Ally, hey it’s Chase. Just wanted to make sure you made it home okay.”
“Aww, thanks. That’s sweet. And yes, I made it home just fine. Thank you for dinner tonight, I enjoyed it.” I tell him, rolling my eyes at Heather.
“Listen, I have to cancel this weekend, something at work has come up and I have to go out of town at the last minute. Can we try again when I get back?” He asks.
“Sure thing. Where are they sending you?” I ask him,
“Detroit. Something to do with GM and I have to go to corporate. Not exactly my favorite place to go, but hey, At least it ain’t winter, because it gets damn cold there.” He chuckles.
“No problem. Just give me a call when you get back. Have a good trip. Bye Chase.”
“No fucking way!” Heather boasts. “You need to find out if Jackson knows who this guy is, because this is too weird. You just left him an hour ago and NOW he suddenly has to cancel? Sounds fishy to me, Al.”
“Yeah, no doubt. I wouldn’t think he would have even gone back to the office after dinner, so unless his boss.....” I say,
“Or Jackson...” Heather says.
“Yep, I smell a rat for sure. How in the hell does he do this? He must be following me or having me followed or something. Well, he made my decision for me, I’m not going to New York. In fact, I am going to call a courier and have these tickets delivered back to his office tomorrow. No note, no nothing. He’s a smart man, he’ll figure it out.” I hope.
Chapter 17
The rest of the week is uneventful. No calls from Jackson or Chase and I have been so busy on this remodel, that I haven’t had time to think about much besides work. This project has been a thorn in my side; the owners can’t seem to decide on anything. I keep going back and forth and back and forth, taking new samples and picking up their discarded ones. I’m hauling more samples in the building now, looking around wondering if Chase is going to come rescue me again. He doesn’t of course, because his “job” sent him out of town.
I still wonder if that was really the case, or if Jackson got involved somehow. I sure hope I am wrong, but the evidence against Jackson is piling up. It was just too coincidental that Chase canceled our date right after Jackson showed up at my apartment. He must really think I am stupid. It’s intriguing, but at the same time it pisses me off. He really needs to discard this Alpha male personality if he wants to see me again.
Or does he? He confuses me so much. I want him to go away but at the same time, I want him around. No man has ever made me feel this way, bad or good. Maybe I’ll head to the beach over the weekend, just to get away for a while. Or, do I go to New York like Jackson wants and add to my confusion? Shit. Decisions to make and they’re ones I don’t want to have to make.
I drop off the samples and go over the materials with the project manager and he tells me he will get back to me, but he likes what I brought this time. Maybe they will finally settle on materials and we can get on with the schematics.
It’s Thursday evening, so I head home for the night. I should be on my date with Chase, but plans change so I go home and call Heather. “What am I going to do?” I ask her. “I want to see Jackson, but I also don’t want to give in to his demands.” I hear Heather sigh on the other end.
“Al, you know what I think. I would never pass up a free trip to New York City for anything. But you and I are so different. You need to go with what you feel in your heart, not your head. I think you need to see where this thing can go, but I understand your frustrations. He’s different than what you are used to, which is why I think you need to see what happens. Go to New York, have your dinner with Jackson and if things don’t go right, change your ticket on Saturday and I’ll come pick you up at the airport.”
“I don’t know Heather. If I give in, I’ll seem weak and desperate. Those are two feelings I am not comfortable with. If he really wants to be with me, he is going to have to fight for me. I’m not going to make it easy on him and he’s used to getting what he wants. My flight is at three o’clock tomorrow and I haven’t even requested to leave early.”
“Sounds like you already made your decision, Ally.” Heather tells me. And she’s right, I have.
I get ready for bed and crawl in between the covers. The ceiling fan is on high so the whooshing sound soothes me. I watch the spinning blades and they hypnotize me into sleep.
The alarm clock goes off way too early and I slam my hand down on the clock radio next to my bed and roll my tired ass over to get up. I feel better since I’ve made my decision. And, once I make a decision, I don’t change my mind. After I shower I go into my closet to get dressed, walking right by the suitcase that I will not be packing.
I get into the office a little early, which is surprising for a Friday morning. Traffic is usually a bitch on Friday, but today was amazingly calm.
As soon as I get to my desk, I pull out the envelope Jackson left on my coffee table and write his office address on the front. I call the courier to come by and pick it up to deliver to him. He may not eve
n be in, but his assistant will let him know that the package comes in. I don’t reply to his note or anything. Since the office is close to mine, I know he will have it within the hour. I decide to keep myself busy with work instead of dwelling on what might happen once he gets the envelope.
I check my voicemail and I have a message from the Ravinia project manager that they have decided on what I brought yesterday. Dark mahogany floors, creamy beige carpets and bold browns and blues on the walls. I construct the final agreement and get it faxed over to the project manager and once they fax it back, I submit the order. Thankfully CAD has already finished their build-out model, so I have measurements and all the information I need to place the order.
This takes me most of the day and before I realize it, it’s five o’clock. I take a deep breath and grab my belongings and head toward the elevator. I start feeling guilty and nervous as the elevator descends into the parking garage. I’m the only one on the elevator and as it gets closer to the bottom, my heart starts beating faster. I feel like it’s going to beat right out of my chest. Not sure why, cause as far as I know Jackson is already in New York, but then again, I have no idea.
The doors open and all I hear are my heals, clicking on the pavement. I tried to park as close as I could to the elevator, but my car is still a few rows away. As I approach my car, I see him. He’s leaning against my car with his arms crossed over his chest in a menacing pose. I stop dead in my tracks and just stare at him. He’s a sight for sore eyes, his hair is messy as if he has been running his fingers through it in frustration. He’s wearing suit pants, but his white button down is open at the top and his tie is loosened. He’s holding the envelope and he doesn’t look happy.
I fight the urge to run, but slowly walk toward him. I have to, he’s leaning on my car. I almost turn to go back into the building, but he’s already seen me so I’m stuck. “What’s this?” He asks as he waves the envelope in my face. “You’re supposed to be on a plane, Alexandra.”