by Christa Lynn
Chapter 22
My eyes flutter open, but I can’t focus. Heavy lids prevent me from opening my eyes too far, but I see enough to know its dark outside. No light filters into the room and I stretch my aching limbs, rolling over and grabbing my pillow. If it’s still dark, I don’t need to get up yet. I sigh in the pillow and drift back off to sleep.
I am blinded by rays of light that stream in through the curtains and fall over my eyes. I blink away the burn and take in the room around me. I finally register that I am not at home in my own bed, but in Jackson’s bedroom. I throw the covers off and swing my legs over the side of the bed, silently thanking God that I am dressed. Well, notdresseddressed, but I am not naked. Naked would be bad. I take in the silky nightgown that covers my body and rub my hands over the soft fabric. Nice.
As I come awake, I realize the first thing I need to do is go to the bathroom. I typically don’t sleep all the way through the night without getting up at least once to pee, but I must have been so tired that peeing was not necessary. Now it is. I clench my legs together and pad over to the bathroom, scanning the large room looking for the toilet.
After I finish, I take a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Good Lord, what in the hell happened to me? My hair is flying in a thousand different directions and there’s a round, black ring around my eyes from my mascara. Between the ordeal from last night, the tears and heavy slumber, I look like shit wrapped up in a pile of shit. I splash some cold water on my face to wake up, but decide a shower would be better. I pull the nightgown off and stare at the bright red mark that travels down form the hollow of my neck to the hollow under my breasts, tracing my finger down the jagged line. Memories from the prior day come rushing back and I have to hold myself up on the counter.
Once I calm down some, I step under the steaming water flowing from the rainforest type shower head and sigh with relief. Who knew a shower could feel this good? Well, I didn’t - because my shower at home feels nothing like this. I wash my hair with Jackson’s manly smelling shampoo and wash my body, reflecting on the previous couple of days. Then it really hits me that I am at Jackson’s place, not my apartment. Now getting angry, I step out of the shower and find a towel that has been warming, noting that I didn’t turn it on when I got in the shower.
I grab the towel and dry off, searching the floor where I dropped my gown, but it’s gone. I wrap the large, fluffy towel around me and head back into the bedroom, where I see clothing laying out on the bed, the Bergdorf bag from New York sitting on the floor beside it. Shaking my head, I realize this man thinks of everything and I try not to be so angry at him for not taking me home last night.
I get dressed and make my escape toward the living area, where I hear clanging of pots and pans in the kitchen, but I don’t see Jackson. Instead, Dani is standing there looking relieved.
“Oh, hi Dani. I didn’t know you’d be here, in fact I didn’t knowIwould be here. But anyway, where is Jackson?” I ask her.
She lets out a soft laugh, “Hello to you too Ally, good to see you again. Jackson went down to the police station to get your things and pick up your friend’s car.”
“Right, damn. I completely forgot about her car. I can drive it to the hospital later when I go visit her.” I say.
“Oh, she was released yesterday, her parents picked her up and took her to their house.”
“Yesterday? They let her go home this quick?” I ask.
“Ally, its Monday. You’ve been sleeping for two days, which is why I’m here, Jackson was worried because you hadn’t woken up. I checked on you and told him you were exhausted and to let you sleep.” She says as she continues pulling utensils out of the cabinets and placing them as if she is fixing to cook something. “You must be hungry. Sit, I will whip something up for you.” She says as she turns toward the fridge.
“Two days? Shit, Heather must think I abandoned her, she’s gonna be so pissed at me.” I say to myself, but Dani answers.
“Nonsense, I’ve spoken with her and so has Jackson, she’s fine. She slept for a lot of the time she was in the hospital too. You two went through quite an ordeal and your body knew what it needed, and it let you sleep. How are you feeling anyway?”
“Ummm, to be honest, I’m not sure. I feel kind of strange, waking up after so long and not being at home like I thought I was.” I finish my sentence as Jackson walks in the door.
“Ah, my beautiful Alexandra, you’re awake. Good, I see Dani is fixing you something to eat which is also good, since I gave Hilda the day off.” He says as he drops his keys on the table and sets a plastic bag on the floor, and then he comes to me, wrapping his arms around me in a tight hug. “I was worried; how are you feeling?”
“I’m not sure yet. I woke up thinking I was at home, but obviously I’m not. Why didn’t you take me home??” I ask, my pulse speeding up.
“Your keys were in your purse, at the police station.” He says as he moves back to the bag he dropped, handing it to me. Inside is my purse, keys and a new cell phone.
“What’s this?” I ask, holding the Apple box, shaking it at him.
“I told you I would get you a new phone, and I always keep my word.” He smirks as he scoots past me, heading toward the kitchen. He sticks his finger in the pan on the stove that Dani is stirring, and she smacks him on the hand.
“Get out of my hollandaise, I don’t know where that finger’s been.” She shoves him back, trying to direct his large frame out of the kitchen.
But Dani is tiny, so he must be like a brick wall to her. He doesn’t budge, glaring at her with a smirk on his face. I just stand there watching, enjoying the sibling banter. I know they are trying to make me feel comfortable, but I am far from comfortable.
“Move Jack, you’re in my way. You wanna eat? You’d better get your overbearing ass out of my way.” Dani chuckles as she shoves his chest, and he concedes and steps back.
Jackson’s cell phone rings and as he looks at the caller ID, he turns to me. “I have to take this.” He says as he moves out of the room and into another room I have not seen before, in fact, I never even noticed the door. Maybe a den or office, but I don’t know.
I take this as my opportunity to grab my purse and Heather’s keys. “Dani, no need to cook me anything, I really need to go home.” I tell her as I walk toward the door. Before my hand gets to the doorknob, Jackson is back in front of me.
“Where are you going, Alexandra? Running again?”
He looks angry, but I don’t care. I need to get out of here and go home to clear my head. “I need to go home, Jackson. I’ve been gone for days and I have things to do and I need to check on Heather and I need.......” I ramble on, but Jackson wraps his strong arms around me and pulls me close.
“No more running, Ally. Please stay, we have...things, we need to talk about. Dani will be leaving after lunch and we’ll have some privacy. I’ve been waiting for two days while you slept this off, but I can’t wait anymore.”
“Jackson! This isn’t about YOU! This is about ME and I need to get ME back before I even think about YOU! A lot of shit has happened, before and after you came barreling into my life trying to change it. I can’t breathe, I need some space....I need time.” I finish and my voice has calmed some, but my anxiety is creeping back in.
“Fine, I’ll take you home. I can send Heather’s car home later.” He tells me as he picks up his keys.
“No, Jackson. I need to do thisaloneright now. Space and time meansspace and timewith myself. You’re a distraction and I need to focus on things, please. Let me go.”
Thing is, I am asking him tolet me go,and I feel like I need him to do this on a permanent basis. My feelings are too strong at this point and I know I am acting out of fear, frustration and confusion, but it’s what I need to do right now. He raises his brow and steps back, removing his hand that has made its way to my upper arm and I hadn’t even noticed.
I watch his hand leave my arm and the immediate loss of warmth is deafening, as is the quie
t in the room. Dani has stopped what she is doing and is watching our interactions, sympathy in her eyes.
“Jackson.” I hear Dani speak. “Let her go for now. She’s obviously distraught and needs some time, you need to give her the space she needs.” She says as she comes into the living area where we are, a wooden spoon in her hands. Jackson nods and steps back, but I can tell he is fighting letting me go.
“I’ll call you soon, Jackson. I promise.” I tell him, though I am not sure I can keep that promise right now.
“Can I at least walk you down?” He asks politely, almost begging. I nod and turn to the door. We’re quiet while walking to the elevator, but as the doors close he moves into my personal space, he’s good at that. I feel the warmth of his body as he cages me to the back wall of the small box that is taking us down to the garage. One hand on each side of my head, he leans in and brushes his lips over mine. It’s not heated like prior kisses, it’s.....sweet, sensual. I don’t fight the kiss, because I want to kiss him back, but I need to get away for a while and get a grip on my feelings for Jackson and what I’ve gotten myself into.
The doors open and he points toward Heather’s Prius, which is parked just a few spaces away in a reserved spot. I click the fob and the lights blink, a shallow beeping sound coming from under the hood. He opens the door for me and I turn to face him, my face is a mess of fear, lust and something else I can’t put my finger on.
“Drive safe, Ally. I’ll call you later to check on you.” He says as he kisses me again, this time firmer and more desperate. He looks at me deep in my eyes, “Mine. Don’t forget that.” He says as he turns to walk back in the building. Huh?
I nod in shock, but I get in the car, start the engine and back away. I scan the garage to make sure no one is following me and head out. Yes, I know, paranoia. But can you blame me?
Traffic is lighter than I am used to on this route, since it’s the middle of the day, so I make it home in no time flat. I walk into my apartment and it feels lonely. Typically Heather is here hanging out on my couch, eating my food and watching my TV, but she’s not here. I dig into the bag and pull out the box containing my new iPhone and crack it open. As I power it up, I realize it is already charged and a few contacts loaded into it, Jackson’s being one of them, and it no longer says Unknown Number. I also see Heather’s number, my parents and Chase. Not sure why Jackson put Chase in there, but whatever. That’s a puzzle piece I will try to solve later, right now I need to talk to Heather.
“Ally? Oh my gosh, I was so worried!” She screams into the phone without saying hello.
“Hey Heather, how ya feeling?”
“Sore, but better. The stitches are tight and my mom is being an overbearing boob, but other than that, I’m good. Tell me now, where have you been for the past few days?” She asks, suspicion filling her voice.
“Jackson took me to his place, since my keys were at the police station. I apparently slept for two days, which is why I haven’t called. I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you needed me Heather.”
“Nonsense. I’m fine. The police have been here several times talking to me and counseling me. It’s helped. They tell me the one that survived is going away for a long time, which makes me feel better.”
“Yeah, that’s what I hear. I haven’t talked to anyone since......then.” I have to stop and think, because I can’t even remember what day all of this shit went down, and after sleeping for two whole damn days, my internal calendar is out of whack.
“How long are you going to be at your mother’s?” I ask her.
“She’s bringing me home tomorrow. Hey, Jackson told me he was going to pick up my car, did he do that?”
“Yeah, I drove it home. It’s here in front of my apartment.” I tell her.
“Jackson let you drive?”
Laughing, remembering our prior conversation. “Yeah, I wouldn’t have it any other way. He tried to bring me home, but I told him I needed time and space, and he actually let me have it. Though he wasn’t very happy.”
“I can imagine. What’s going to happen with you two?” She asks.
“I’m not sure. I told him I needed space, but he said something as I left.” Heather doesn’t say anything; I can tell she is waiting on me to tell her. “He saidmine,and for me not to forget it as I left. Does he really believe I belong to him?”
“I don’t know Al, maybe.....maybe he wants you to belong to him? Have you thought about that?” Heather asks.
“I’m not sure, you are much more his type, I just can’t.....”
“Stop it Ally. Damn it! When will you get it through your thick skull that you are a catch? I’ve been telling you this, over and fucking over but you just won’t listen to me. Shit Ally. Get your head out of your ass and take it for face value. He likes YOU! He wants YOU! Quit over thinking it and just go with it for once in your life!”
“I...I....Shit, I can’t Heather. I can’t get my heart broken again. He is just too.....” I release a deep breath, “perfect. And that scares the shit out of me. He’s super good looking, super sweet and super wealthy....crap, maybe it’s his money that scares me?” I ask her, but not really believing it. No, it’s his demanding possessive ways that scare the shit out of me, but I don’t say that out loud.
“No, Al. It’s not his money you are scared of. You are scared of opening your heart to him; you're scared to let him in. He has proven it over and over with the things he’s done.”
“What? Like almost getting both of us killed?” I screech.
“Al, that was not his fault. He hired Chase to keep an eye on you, so he was trying to protect you. He had no way of knowing this would happen.” She tells me trying to calm me, but it’s not working.
“I don’t know, I need some time to think things through. So many things have happened in such a short time that I don’t know which end is up.”
“I know, it’s all kinda surreal. Take some time, but don’t make him wait for you. That’s not fair to either one of you.”
“I know.”
Chapter 23
I spend the afternoon doing bullshit throughout the apartment. Washing dishes that are already clean, doing laundry that is also clean, I sweep, vacuum and dust, just to kill time. Cleaning keeps my mind from wandering, even though I know I need to relax and figure this out, I just can’t right now. My land line rings and I just about jump out of my skin. No one uses this line. “Hello?”
“Ally, hey. It’s Dani Lombardi. I’m at the gate, can I come in and talk for a few minutes?”
“Umm, okay.” I say as I press the 9 on the phone, opening the gate, then hang up the phone. What does she want? Oh wait, Jackson probably sent her to check on me, make sure I wasn’t sick or sleeping or something. Great. I told him I needed space, so he sends his sister to do his dirty work. Fuck him. This is the last straw, he just can’t let it go.
Dani knocks on the door and I reluctantly open it, stepping back to allow her to enter. “I’m sorry to just drop in, but I wanted to come by and talk to you, I hope you don’t mind. And, before you ask...Jackson did not send me over here. I asked him where you live and he told me, but he doesn’t know I’m here.” She says with sympathy in her eyes.
“Come on in.” I say, “Can I get you something to drink?” She shakes her head and sits down on the sofa.
“Cute place, Ally. I like how you have it decorated.”
“Thanks.” I say as I look around. My tan microfiber sofa and matching chair with ottoman that I got at a second hand store. A brown, multi shelved entertainment center from IKEA that has my small TV and a boom box. The walls are stark white like in all generic apartments, but I put up colorful prints and bright red valances over the windows. Its home to me.
“Listen. I know you don’t want to hear this right now, but Jackson misses you already. He’s told me about your insecurities and that you have been fighting him on this the whole time, but he knows you have feelings for him.”
“He had no right to tell you about my
so calledinsecurities,Dani. Yes, I realize they are there, but that’s me and I can’t change...I won’t change who I am for him or any other man.”
“No, you shouldn’t and he wouldn’t want you to.” She looks down at her hands tangled together in her lap and I get the feeling she is nervous about being here.
“Jackson won’t ever tell you why he is the way he is.” She continues.
“What? Demanding? Possessive? Egotistical? Crazy as hell? Shall I go on?”
She laughs, “No need. He is all of those things, and more. He’s a good man Ally. And I’m not just saying that because he’s my brother. He’s different around you, calmer. More mellow. And, the way he looks at you when you aren’t looking, or maybe you just don’t see it, but steel could melt under his gaze.
He and Madison planned to get married, as you know. But that wasn’t entirely his decision. Our parents and hers, sort of planned it as they grew up. She was never really his type, thin and tall. He always liked curvier girls growing up, and the bulimia she had scared him. He told me he would never, ever get involved with another skinny model type. Too many issues and worries to go along with that.
Do you know what he did the evening he met you?” She asks.
“I know he barged into my hotel room and I woke up with him next to me, not even knowing how he got there. He told you this?” I ask as she nods her head.
“Before he came up to your room, he called me from the hotel lobby after you had left. When I answered the phone, before I could even say ‘hello’ he blurted out, “I Found Her.” I knew what he was talking about, but I was skeptical at first. Hell, he’d just met you. You provided a challenge to him, and your beauty and brains were the icing on the cake.”
“I don’t know what to say, Dani.”