by Christa Lynn
I’m crying so loud I don’t hear the knock on my door. I settle my sobbing and the knock sounds again. I grab the throw blanket off the back of the sofa and wipe my snotty nose on it. Gross, I know. But I don’t have a tissue handy and I refuse to use my shirt.
I wrap the blanket around me and peer through the peep hole and my heart drops into my stomach.
Jackson.
I take a deep breath and try to compose myself, but I know it’s no use. He probably heard me crying and won’t leave until I answer the door. “Alexandra? I know you’re home, I hear you crying. Open the door.” He calls through the closed door. Slowly, I flip the dead bolt open and leave the chain, peeking through the cracked door. I figure I’d better confirm it was him before just flinging the door open. I see it is him, and he looks better than he did in the pictures I found online, but he still looks rough.
“Hi.” I say, quietly, my voice weak from crying.
“Can I come in?” He asks, as I slip the chain and open the door all the way. I step back and allow him to enter. His eyes flash as he sees me covered in a paisley throw blanket that usually lays on the back of the sofa. His eyes start at my toes and follow the curves of my body until they land at my eyes. I see the thick bags under his eyes, he looks...tired.
“Alexandra.”
He sweeps me in his arms, pulling me close to him and wrapping his strong arms around me. He doesn’t say anything else, just holds me tight, burying his face in my shoulder. I feel his body trembling and shaking, his shoulders heaving. He sniffs and I realize he’s crying.
“Jackson, what is it?” I pull back, brushing my fingers across his cheek, wiping the tears away.
“When I got your text......” he sobs again. “I’m so glad you contacted me. The past two weeks have been pure hell without you.” He cups my face in his hands and brushes his lips across mine in a loving, tender kiss. I realize I too have tears streaming down my face and he kisses them away, fastening his lips to mine again and I can taste the salt from our tears on his lips.
“Sit please.” He says as he ushers me to the sofa, still wrapped in the blanket. “I tried to give you space to figure things out, to recover from everything, but it was so hard.” His head in his hands, looking down toward his feet. “I know I am demanding, arrogant and possessive, but there is a reason for that, and its past time that I explain it all to you.”
He takes a deep breath and begins a story that changes everything.
“Madison had an uncle that abused her when she was young. Her parents never believed her and continued to allow her to visit with the uncle.” I see him clenching his fists, holding on to a throw pillow for dear life. I can tell this is hard for him, so I sit back and allow him to speak.
“Once she finally turned eighteen and graduated from high school, I was already away at Yale doing my undergrad. She came to Connecticut and stayed with me and a friend of mine who lived off campus. While she was there, she told me all about the uncle who molested her and how her parents thought she was crazy and that she needed to let it go. I was furious, of course. Not just at the uncle, but her parents for not believing their only daughter. They were so focused on being the Elite family they were, that they refused to bring scandal into the family.”
“Did he ever get punished for what he’d done?” I ask.
Nodding, he continues. “A few years later, his body was found in the Quinnipiac River, bound and gagged.” I suck in a breath.
“Did you......?”
He looks at me with rage in his eyes, “Hell no, Ally. I may be a lot of things, but I’m not a murderer.”
“I-I’m sorry, it’s just.....”
“No Ally, I did not kill him. He crossed the line again after Madison grew up and his newest victim’s father is serving a life sentence. Jesus, Ally. How could you think....?” He looks down again. “No, I get it.” He exhales.
“Madison never recovered and because of that, she had issues that she never overcame. She tried so hard to please her parents, and me, with modeling, that she succumbed to the peer pressure of staying skinny and looking good, only the bulimia and subsequent drug use took away that beauty. Took her away. I tried to be the man she needed me to be, the decision maker, the man that made her decisions for her, because she couldn’t do it on her own.”
“I’m sorry I did that with you, you are nothing like her and it scared me. I thought I had to possess you, to keep you safe and make all of your decisions for you, and I was wrong.” He places his hand on my cheek. “Alexandra, you are an enigma. You’re strong, smart, independent, and absolutely breathtaking. I should have been more open to your feisty ways and listened to you when you lectured me over and over about the kind of woman you are, because you were right. And, you were exposed to those evils because of me. Ally, can you ever forgive me?” Tears fill the corners of his eyes, as well as my own.
I realize I am shaking, but not because I’m cold. It’s because the tenderness and guilt in his eyes is tearing me apart. “I’m sorry too, Jackson. For not trusting in your feelings for me. I’ve never been in a real relationship, never been in love and your pursuit of me freaked me out. Most guys are just looking for a quick fling with me.” I shake my head, still unsure of why...considering. And, where did the word love come from? Shit.
“No one has ever made me feel like you do, so desired and needed. It’s so out of the norm for me that it scared me and I thought I would be better off without you in my life. But after the past couple of weeks, I’ve realized that I want nothing more. Canyouforgivemefor being such a skittish kitten?” Squeezing his hands, that have found their way to my thigh, he looks up at me. That sparkling green flashing back at me, washing away the sadness that filled his eyes previously.
“What changed your mind Ally?” He asks, and I can’t blame him.
“I’ve run from you for months now, confused, angry and scared. I don’t want to run anymore, I can’t. You bring out the best in me and make me feel so cherished.” I wink at him, hoping to lighten the mood just a little, and it appears to have worked.
“What else?”
“And...” I stutter, embarrassed about what I am about to say. “And, the way you make me feel......geez, how do I say this?” I drop off and turn my head, but he fingers my chin pulling my face back to look at him, heat and desire filling his eyes, but he says no more, allowing me to finish.
“Tell me.”
“I...I had a dream the other night.” I blush.
“Oh really? Please continue, Alexandra.” He’s gone back to my full name, and I know what that means. “I dreamt about our time in New York, after the fundraiser” was all I could get out before his mouth was on me. His lips soft but firm, his tongue demanding entrance. I concede and part my lips, allowing him to deepen the kiss. He’s desperate to consume me and I am desperate to be consumed, so I return the heated kiss because I have been starving for him. And I want him to know that, to feel that, through my kiss.
His hands travel down to the blanket that I’ve got tightly wrapped around my body and I suddenly realize that I’m almost naked underneath. Not caring anymore, I loosen my grip on it. Soft lips trace down my bare shoulder, his tongue licking under the thin strap of my cami as his fingers pull open the blanket, exposing me. He pulls back, looking at me like I am his prey, and once again heated moisture pools between my legs. I hear him suck in a breath as his fingers trace over the soft swells of my breasts. “So beautiful.” He whispers against my skin, heating a trail of goose bumps across my flesh.
“You’ll tell me about your little fantasy later, right now I have to have you. Stand up.” He demands, but this time I don’t flinch. I want this...no I need this, right now. I have been so in control of my own life for so long that I need a moment to pass that control to someone else. To Jackson.
I do as he says, still pulling the blanket with me, tightening it around me. I’m still self-conscious about my body, but he apparently is not, so I try, really try, to be happy with my bod
y and allow him to use it as he pleases. “Drop the blanket, Alexandra, I want to see you. Please, never cover yourself in front of me.” He growls and I don’t imagine the implication that I am not to show myself to anyone else. I pull the blanket from around my body and let it slowly puddle to the floor.
I have never been a seductress. My sexual relations up until now have been hurried, clumsy and left me totally unfulfilled. Feeling exposed in my boy shorts and cami, I stand there like a statue, my body tense and unforgiving. “Relax. It’s just me. I won’t hurt you...I will never hurt you.” He says as he stands up, encroaching on my personal space. Strong warm hands spread across my chest, spreading warmth as they travel over my shoulders.
I look up at Jackson, his emerald eyes now glowing with desire, his lids are half closed and he licks his lips like a kid in a candy store. I guess he’s the kid and I’m the candy because he begins to slowly unwrap me. His fingers trace a tingling path over my breasts, stopping on my nipples and his fingers circle the now hardening nubs, causing my clit to throb along with my increasing heartbeat. His lips press against the sensitive area between my ear and my neck, moving slowly down my shoulder. He takes the strap of my cami between his teeth and takes it with him so that the strap hangs over my shoulder. He then repeats the motion on the other side, never taking his fingers off my now aching nipples.
He moves his hands up and brushes the straps down my arms, sending the cami to my waist, exposing my breasts. “Your tits are amazing, I think I’ll have a taste.” And before I can protest....yeah, like I was really going to.....his lips wrap around one sensitive nipple, latching on like he’s sucking on a lollypop. He gently nibbles on one, pinching and rolling the other between his fingers. “Harder.” I breathe out, not ashamed of my demand. He satisfies that urge and his teeth graze along my areola, pulling back and off with a pop.”Yesssss.”
He takes this as an invitation and ravages the other nipple the same way, pulling and tugging and dragging his teeth along while cupping and massaging the other. I feel a roll of thunder blow through my sex, sending my clit into spasms. “Arms up.” He says as his lips tackle my neck, planting wet kisses along my collar bone. I raise my arms and my breasts lift to where they are supposed to be anyway, and he grabs the hem of my cami, slowly raising it over my head, dropping it to the floor. I start to lower my arms, “No. Keep them up, clasp your fingers together behind your head and don’t move.”
He circles my body, rolling his eyes up and down my exposed body. As he stands behind me, his fingers slip under my panties, softly stroking my lower back and ass. “I like these.” He says, “But I’ll like them better when they're on the floor.” And he grabs the elastic, quickly pulling them down over my ass and to my ankles, then massaging the globes of my ass.
His fingers skim up my sides and over my ribcage, reaching and grabbing my breasts while pulling my body back into his. I can feel his arousal in the small of my back and it twitches as he fondles my tits.
Rocking his hips against my back side, my head lolls to the side and his mouth is back on me, heated breath penetrating my skin. I step out of his arms, turning to face him. I reach for the buttons on his shirt and finger the top one, pulling it out of its mooring. Then I grab the two sides and yank, buttons fly across the room, spill to the floor and scatter across the room. Jackson softly moans his approval.
I marvel at the sight of his chest, spreading my palms across his pecs and lower my mouth to a nipple, licking and kissing the flat rosy discs, feeling the flesh harden under my tongue. As my mouth worships his chest, my fingers attack the button and zipper of his slacks. As I lower my body down his, my lips and tongue tracing a path to the sexy patch of hair that disappears into his pants. I lower his pants as I go, his erection springing free and bouncing in my face. I lick the seam of his dick and moan as I suck in the bead of fluid that has formed at the tip.
As I get to my knees, I look up at him through my lashes but he doesn’t move. He just stares down at me, waiting to see what I’m going to do. This is only the second time I have seen his cock face to face and I suddenly flash back to Ryan, forcing me to my knees to suck him and I pause, my body stiffening in tension. I feel his hands on my head in a calming fashion and he gently pulls his fingers through my hair, which is now a total mess.
“Alexandra, what is it?” He asks, but I shake my head in denial.
“Nothing that can’t wait until later.”
He pulls me up and now we are face to face. “Tell me.”
“You know how to ruin a moment don’t you?” I say, turning my back and sitting back down on the sofa.
Taking a deep breath, I begin. As I tell him the story about Ryan, I feel him tense up next to me, his jaw squares off and his eyes turn black. The forcing to my knees, the smack across my face, the chubby girl comment...all of it, even the police interview.
“Shit, Ally. Why didn’t you tell me this before?” He asks.
“Because it doesn’t matter, most of the time anyway. That night comes back in flashes sometimes, catching me off guard. I can tamp it down most of the time, but sometimes....” I drift off as he pulls me into his arms, warming me.
“Ally, he was an asshole. He didn’t........?” He pauses.
“No, he didn’t rape me, but if the bouncer hadn’t come to me when he did...” I shiver at the thought.
“Jesus. I’m sorry. I didn’t know, but I’m not him. You know that right? I would never hurt you and never EVER make you do something you aren’t comfortable with.”
“I know.” I say as I lower myself to my knees between his muscular thighs. We just had a very personal conversation, naked. But I’m done talking. All I care about right now is this man and making him feel as good as he’s made me feel. I owe him this, and I can’t wait to take him into my mouth.
“Ally, you don’t have to....” But he sucks in a breath as my lips gently kiss the engorged head of his cock.
I cup his balls in my hand, running my finger on the sensitive underside and he sucks in another breath. Running my tongue along the vein that bulges and throbs, I reach the dark pink head and roll my tongue around him. I gently kiss the tip again and then lower my mouth down the stiff shaft, sucking and pulling him in. His grip tightens in my hair, but he doesn’t release me. I plunge back down on him, pulling back and leaving a wet trail that glistens in the daylight. “Jesus, Ally.”
I revel in the thrill that I am doing this to him, making him feel good and his reaction is stimulating my throbbing sex. As I cup one hand around his shaft, stroking along with my mouth, I reach between my legs and gently stroke myself, rubbing along my tender cleft. A sudden rush of moisture coats my folds and I insert one finger, then another inside my quaking hole.
I can tell Jackson is watching, so I look up at him again and see fire in his eyes before he reaches down and pulls me up, standing me before him. “You keep that up, this will be all over before it even starts. Sit on the couch and spread your legs, it’s my turn. And keep those baby blues on me. ” He says as he forcefully pushes me to the couch. I should be offended, even scared of his demands, but I’m not.
He stands in front of me and I peruse his sexy body from head to toe, stopping at his face and those sexy lips which are curled up in a snarl. “What have you done to me Alexandra?” He asks as he lowers himself to his knees, pushing my legs wider as he takes in my damp sex, pressing his nose in and taking a deep breath. “Mmmm, you smell so good, Alexandra.” And he dips his tongue into my quivering flesh, taking a long hard lick straight up my slit, pressing against my clit. “So wet. Is this all for me Alexandra?” He asks and I nod, because I am so horny I can’t even talk. “Tell me Alexandra, yes or no.”
“Yes, it’s all for you.” I force out on a hard breath, watching him between my legs as he looks up at me.
He shoves one finger, then another and strokes me as his tongue dances along my clit and I throw my head back, closing my eyes. “Open your eyes Alexandra, watch me make you come.” He say
s against my pussy and I struggle to raise my head. I watch his hooded eyes as he feasts on me, stroking that sensitive area deep inside me, the place I can never find on my own, but he knows just where it is. His fingers curl up and he strokes me, rubbing with just enough pressure that my hips convulse under him, but he presses my thighs down in an attempt to keep me still.
As my body tenses, he strokes harder and latches his mouth onto my clit, sucking it into his mouth, “Oh God....I’m gonna come.....” I yell out as my back arches and I struggle to keep my eyes focused on his, but it’s too hard. My eyes roll back into my head and I moan out his name, flashes of light and stars blink into my vision and he doesn’t let up. He keeps stroking me and sucking me until I blow up again, darkness envelopes my vision and tears spill out of my eyes, rolling down my cheek. I can’t breathe and my chest is heaving as he gently pulls his fingers out of me and lifts my body into his arms. “No, I’m too heavy. Put me down.” I say to him, be he doesn’t listen and carries me to my bedroom, gently placing me on the center of the bed.
He’s on me in a second, covering my body with his and plunges his hard cock into me on one stroke. He slams against my flesh, the sounds of our bodies meeting filling the room. He pulls back and grabs both ankles, placing them on his shoulders giving him deeper access. We don’t speak now, just our eyes mating and our bodies becoming one. He strokes into me, pulling my body forward and grabbing my thighs, which are pressed against his torso, kissing my calf and my foot as his hips circle and grind against me.
In and out he thrusts, his groans and my moans now mingling with the wet sounds of flesh on flesh. I should be mortified at my response to him, but I’m not. I just stare at his face, watching his eyes flash and those sexy lips curl into a smile. He slows his thrusting and lowers my legs, leaning his body over mine.
His arms go under me and he easily flips me to my stomach, pulling me back to my knees. My ass is now in his face and I turn back to look at him as he grabs his cock, stroking himself and spreading my juices over the shaft, before lining it up and pressing it back into me. His hips are now slapping against my ass, his balls bouncing against my clit sending tingles of pleasure throughout my heated body.