Hade shook himself. He just needed to chill the fuck out. Lee was a good distraction, one he needed tonight. The thought of having to draw swords at dawn with any of the asshats in the Reapers of Menace MC had made Hade tired and frustrated.
He downed his drink and casually walked over to the bar. Lee saw him and gave him a big wink, twirling one of her tassels at him before rubbing her pelvis against the woman in front of her with renewed gusto. She mouthed at him, “For you, babe.”
What did that mean? The performance? He hadn’t been there for half of it. Then he looked around. There was a good turnout. A big turnout. “What’s the deal? Someone’s birthday?” he asked the guy sitting next to him.
“Something like that,” the guy said carefully. “Your girl up there organized it. Another fund-raiser or something. Guess she wanted to show you she’s still got a few party tricks up her panties.”
She sure did. Hade’s shoulders lowered a fraction. There she went again, surprising him just when he was all down on her.
The drink hit his stomach and his shoulders slipped even lower. A night off with a little light entertainment was just what he needed.
“Fuck, Kenny’s down. It’s bad, man.”
Not so much then.
The words rang out through the bar and someone tugged at Hade’s shoulder. No. Not on my watch. Not again. Following two others to the bathroom where Lee had just about sent him into oblivion, Hade found Kenny, a young guy in his early twenties, lying on the floor in a pool of his own vomit. He knelt down to check his pulse. Nothing. He saw red. Red rage, red fear, red frustration.
“What’s he had?” Hade yelled to the other kid standing, practically dancing with nerves as he lifted the young man’s eyelids to find the eyeballs rolled back in his head.
No one said anything.
Hade stood up suddenly, filling the room. “I said, ‘What’s he had?’ Any of you fuckers know and don’t spill, I’m holding you responsible.” He grabbed the nearest biker by the lapels and slammed him into the wall. “No one leaves till I get some answers. Having the police crawling all over this place is not what we need right now. Not with the Reapers hungry for a bit of our patch.”
“Only a couple hits of crystal,” someone said. “Musta been spiked.”
“Shit. I thought you guys were smarter than that.”
The bikers looked at him blankly but Hade barely registered them. All he saw was his brother in almost an identical position as Kenny, in another bathroom, another time. The result, though, was the same. His brother’s body had twitched for the longest time before it had stilled and uttered a harsh, shaky rattle. Hade had given him mouth-to-mouth and had been pummeling his chest to try and get the heart started again until Rocco had pulled him off. All he’d been doing was pumping more blood out the bullet wound in his brother’s neck.
No one moved.
“You all just stood around and watched him OD?”
No one spoke.
“Fuck.” Hade almost spat the word out.
“Is he . . . ?”
“Dead? Bet your fucking life he is. So you better tell whoever got him the gear that it’s dirty,” Hade said none too gently.
Hade pushed out of the bathroom and back into the bar. He headed for the stereo and flicked the switch. Into the sudden silence he said, “We’ve got a man down. Someone get me Kenny’s people on the phone. Then get the fuck out of here.”
Lee stopped mid-move and he saw her face drop before he switched his attention to emptying the room and working out a game plan.
* * *
Breaking the news to Kenny’s mom was the worst thing he’d had to do in a long time. Rocco had offered to do it, but Hade put up a hand. “I’m fine. I found him, I’ll deal with it.”
The older man had backed off and left him to head upstairs to one of Wilde’s Hotel’s empty rooms to make the call. But for all of his big words, telling a mother that her son had died, on his watch, fucking hurt.
When he’d finished the call, Hade walked downstairs and pushed back into the bar with heavy feet. It was mostly empty and, for that, he felt a rush of gratitude. He found Rocco still there though and sat down next to him.
“I thought we were going to try and be smart about drugs,” he said.
“Your words, not mine,” said Rocco. “I get where you’re going with it. But this band of pricks aren’t going to turn down some free ice when it’s making the rounds. You know that as much as I do.”
“Where did it come from?”
Rocco shrugged. “Dunno. Ask your girlfriend. It was her party. I heard she organized the girls on the bar. But the rest, no clue.”
“Where’d she get the money? Or the girls?”
“It doesn’t take much to get some girls from the strip to come up and put on a show. Not if you’re paying,” Rocco said. “Nice that you’re so willing to share. Boys are mad for her. She probably cleaned up again.”
Hade ignored the quiet jab and stood. Lee didn’t have money to pull off a party like this, especially when she was new in town. At least that’s what she’d led him to believe. And why had she done it at all? They’d raised the money for the school. He shook his head; it was done now.
Yet all the way home an uneasy feeling tugged at him and when he opened his door he almost dropped his helmet. “What the actual fuck?”
Lee and two of the women who had been up on the bar were sprawled over his couch and floor.
“Didn’t want you to miss out, so we brought the party back here. Hope the kid’s okay,” Lee said from the couch.
Another woman came out of the bathroom, sniffing and holding a small bag of white powder.
Lee patted the woman she’d been sitting with then got up from the couch and walked over to him, wrapping an arm around his neck. “Come share.”
“Get out. All of you. Now.”
Lee took a step back, the shock written on her face as her eyes widened and she instinctively pulled a strand of her hair over her bare shoulder. “What? I thought you’d like a little fun with some girlfriends. Spice things up for us so we don’t get bored,” she said.
“I don’t do that shit. And I thought you said you didn’t anymore, either. Kenny just fuckin’ OD’d on it and you thought it’d be a good idea to bring it back here and feed it to me after I told his mom that her boy is dead?”
“I don’t. I didn’t mean . . .”
Hade held up a hand. “Save it.”
The other three women were already putting on coats and filed past him out the door, looking scared shitless. He was a Hell’s Boy, after all; they should be fucking scared.
The last stripper shut the door after herself but Hade stood still. Arms folded, his hands in fists, and his lips tight, he glared at Lee. “What made you think it was okay to bring that stuff into Wilde’s?”
Lee’s mouth opened but he didn’t let her get a word out.
“And into my house?”
“Which stuff?” Lee looked behind her.
Hade pointed to the white line of powder on his coffee table. “And where did you get the money?”
“I didn’t—” she started.
“I thought you had nowhere else to go, or have you just been giving me a line the whole time?”
Her mouth opened and closed and Hade hated that it was him making her look so small and lost. But hell, someone had just died. A kid. It was just what he wanted to change.
“I figured we should celebrate, you know, being alive. And celebrate what you were doing. Everyone worked hard at the car wash so I used a little bit of the money to . . .”
“Get. The Fuck. Out.”
“But I don’t have anywhere to go. And I didn’t . . .”
Hade held up his hand. “Seriously. Get out.” He opened the front door.
Lee put her hands on her hips. “Don’t worry, I’m going. You say you’re all about family, but look what happens when shit gets real. Family has each other’s back. You’re just like all the rest. Quick to as
sume, quick to judge.”
Hade snorted. “Remember how you asked me why I wasn’t worried about trusting you? That people had my back? Well you’re right, it’s getting real. Shit’s about to go down. Someone is dead. And you’ll find I’m less generous with my trust once it’s been broken.”
Lee hesitated, then turned and went over to the bed to grab her coat and the bag of clothes she’d arrived with the first night. She opened her mouth again but Hade put up a hand. “Save it.”
She didn’t look back.
Nothing moved. Not even air from the door closing. The room was suddenly perfectly quiet and Hade let himself hiss out the breath he’d been holding.
After he’d forced himself to eat something, Hade was lost for what to do.
He went for a ride, but the rain had set in and when his hands threatened to turn into blocks of ice he turned back toward home.
Looking at the glass table where the small bag of crystal still sat, Hade felt red threatening to blanket his eyes again. “Fuck!” he yelled and smashed his fist through the glass. It should have hurt like a bitch but his hands were so numb he barely even registered the pain. He did manage to cut himself though, and with the burst of anger and the sight of his own blood, his temper calmed. “Nothing much you can do about it now,” he told himself and after taping up his hand, he nailed a shot of whiskey and went to bed.
All night, Lee’s face kept coming back at him. The drop at the edge of her mouth. The way the shine had dulled in her eyes. The way she looked like a piece of her that had only just started to heal was broken beyond repair. But she’d taken from the money for the school. What sort of fund-raising used money you’d already raised? To party. To buy the shit that killed Kenny. Fuck that, it was some disloyal, stupid shit. And to think he’d thought she might be good for him on some level. Make him more stable, a better leader. He snorted in distain.
This might not be the ordinary, solid life he’d once thought he might have, but he didn’t need to it life tougher for himself by seeking out a party girl who was only out for herself. He was going to live out the rest of his life alone. Period.
They’d be very lucky if the police didn’t get involved in a serious way. And that was the last thing he wanted on his watch. All eyes were on him now and how he dealt with the next forty-eight hours would decide whether he took over for Rocco for the long haul or faded into the background of the gang. Hade rolled over and punched at his pillow then hissed as his cut hand reminded him that he’d already tried that.
Hade woke with a start without ever realizing that he’d fallen asleep and looked at the clock. It was ten A.M. At least that was something. Given he hadn’t gone to bed till after four, ten o’clock meant he wouldn’t be completely sleep deprived when he had to deal with whatever today was going to throw at him.
He rolled over and looked at the empty pillow beside him. Did the right thing there. Move on.
His hand moved over the pillow still outlining the shape of her head and for a moment he saw the mess of her hair splayed out over the fabric and his heart clenched again.
Stop it.
He had. He was.
Lee was gone and he was better off. Time to focus on moving forward.
Chapter Nine
After the week he’d had cleaning up the mess Lee had caused, Hade figured he deserved a drink and some distraction so he headed to Wilde’s. The bar was blissfully empty. Lucky, because he had a sore head, a sore hand, and if he was honest with himself, his heart wasn’t exactly pain-free.
“You did good. Still haven’t had a call from the police,” Briony said to him as he sank onto the torn leather bar stool.
“Not sure good is the right word for it,” he said, taking a sip of the cold beer she put in front of him.
“You give yourself so much shit, it’s a wonder no one has called the public works on you,” she said. “Could pretty much package you as a sewerage plant this week.”
“Whatever,” he said. “I came here to be distracted. So distract me.”
“I don’t do patched members,” she said with a grin.
“You know I don’t mean that sort of distraction. Jeez, I had enough of that with Lee.”
Briony cocked her head at him. “Yeah. I gathered. What happened? I thought for a moment you’d gotten over your stupid thing about not having a woman, being alone at the top, blah blah blah, so you could get on with shaking Hell’s up a bit. God knows they need it.”
Hade sat back. “What do you mean? She’s the one that got the ice. Used money from the car wash, for fuck’s sake.”
Briony pursed her lips and seemed to be carefully selecting her words. “Not what I heard. I did wonder where she got the money for the girls.”
“She didn’t buy the crystal?”
“I don’t reckon. What’d you do? Send her packing ’cause you got the guilts over your brother again? Fuck, Hade, how many times do people have to tell you that wasn’t your fault? And neither was Kenny. Stupid prick shouldn’t have snorted enough ice to make a snowstorm look sunny.”
Hade’s mouth opened but nothing came out.
“Oh shit, you did, didn’t you?”
“It doesn’t matter anyway, no one heads up Hell’s with a woman in tow, doesn’t happen.”
“That’s bullshit. Rocco’s cranky and as butt ugly as a snake without its skin.”
“We’re not talking about Rocco.”
“No, we’re talking about you. No woman in her right mind would have Rocco if he paid them. Doesn’t mean you have to be the same, although given your bitchy tongue this week, I figure you might be on the right track if you want to take after him.”
“Hey, hold on Bri—”
“Sorry, but no one else is going to lay it out for you, are they? They’re all too shit-scared of you.”
Hade sighed and the anger went out of him. He’d known Briony since they were kids and she was right, she was about the only one who could tell it to him straight and get away with it.
“You know Jason was supposed to be the one that took over,” he said. “And he was always on about it: no distractions, no disappointments. He made me swear I’d follow the line, give the whole leadership thing everything I had.”
“That was Jason’s dream. Not yours.”
“But he was he was right. Lee was a distraction; look what happened when I let her in. I have to head up the gang so I need to be alone. End of discussion.”
Briony huffed at him. “What happened when you let her in was you raised almost seven grand for the school and you got a whole bunch of Hell’s Boys excited that life wasn’t all going to be about patch wars and the size of each other’s dicks for a change.”
Hade snorted into his beer.
“I’m serious. You are not your brother. If leadership is about being a big macho prick, then it’s not for you. It doesn’t suit you and you’ll hate it in the end.”
“Leading the gang is about doing what has to be done.”
“Ugh!” She threw up her hands and the thick sludge of darkness that had started forming in his chest since he’d thrown Lee out moved, squeezing his heart and making him doubt everything.
“Whatever you said to her, fix it. You’ve been a bitch all week and it’s getting boring. Be different. Live a little. And for the record, your girl was trying to make more money. Had a cover charge on the door. Here.” She pulled an envelope from under the cash drawer in the till. “Been trying to give you this all week. It’s to add to the school fund.”
Hade’s mouth dropped and the darkness around his heart thickened into a messy, suffocating ooze. Someone had told him it was a fund-raiser. That she was trying to raise more money for the school. But when Lee had said she’d organized a party he’d cut her off . . . the heat of the moment had wiped the intent from his mind. He’d only seen the result: drugs, a wild party, and a dead body.
“For the record,” Briony continued, ignoring his discomfort. “I loved your brother, too, you know that. But he was a
ll about heading up Hell’s. If it’s not something you really want to do, don’t do it.”
The thought of that, of just walking away, struck Hade like a cold bucket of water. “Simple as that, huh?”
“Pretty much,” she said and went off to serve another customer.
Hade took another long drag of beer. Nothing was that simple. Was it? But as he looked around the bar with money that Lee had raised for his project, receiving nods here and there from the few Hell’s Boys out on the stormy Wednesday night, he realized that it could be. What had Lee said as she was leaving? That he didn’t understand family? Well, that’s where she was dead wrong.
“Fuck.”
“What’s wrong now?” Briony walked back up the bar toward him.
“How do I find her?”
Chapter Ten
Rocco and a couple of the boys found her at a bar on Venice Beach the next morning. When they walked her into Wilde’s, her head down, her body practically curled into itself, Hade thought he’d never seen such a scared mess of a woman and his heart sank. What had he done?
“Shit. Are you okay? What the fuck?” Hade went to Lee while scowling at Rocco at the same time.
Rocco raised his hands. “Didn’t do nothing. Found her like you asked. No one touched her.”
Lee flinched away from his touch and he hated that it had been he who’d done this to her. “I’m not someone you need to be scared of.”
She looked up and he saw the hurt fresh on her face when she registered it was him. Her eyes narrowed and her lips tightened. “I left. You don’t get to send your men out after me.”
“That wasn’t the plan.”
“Uh-huh? That’s what all guys say when they’re feeling guilty, and your face reads like a dirty priest’s.”
“Think you’ve got me confused with someone else. This is my happy face.” Hade tried for humor but the joke sank like a pair of concrete biker boots. “I didn’t mean for you to get scared. I tried to find you but I couldn’t. The boys were just the ones to get to you first.”
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