by A. Kingsley
So she moved onto the next question and then the next. For a moment it seemed as if they were just normal teenagers. As if they didn’t live in castles and palaces miles apart from one another. They were not trying to impress anyone out in these woods, they didn’t have to hide who they truly were, they were allowed to be unique, to express themselves and relax, to let their guard down. They laughed and shared their interests for a while, losing track of time.
Clare had fallen asleep on Cassius’s lap, he was stroking her hair and watching the woods, he didn’t want to wake her, so instead he made sure nothing would hurt her.
Antoine on the other hand was pretending to sleep.
Natalia came out from the house with three blankets. She draped one over Antoine and then another over Clare and handed the last one to Cassius, who put it around his shoulders.
“I came out here to tell you where to go next, but the person who needs to hear it most is sleeping, so I will tell you. A man named Jesse, he lives somewhere in these mountains, he’s in hiding, he’s wallowed in sadness. He was good mates with Clare’s father, he will know who Clare is. He is a good place to start, I don’t think he has magic himself, but he will know about her father’s lineage. I’m not sure what he knows, but I think it will be of use. I’d head out in the afternoon, after another training session, but don’t worry, I’ll make you kids some breakfast.”
Cassius barely smiled, he just muttered a weak ‘thank you’ and she frowned.
“You seem to be the protector kid, what’s going on? Can I help you with anything?”
He shook his head. “We got some bad news today and of course my father was the one who had to initiate it, even out here I can not escape him. I need to protect them from him, especially Clare. I don’t like to let her know just how much I am hurting inside.”
Natalia sat down on the other side of them, her frown deepening. “Men should speak about their emotions too, this girl is plenty brave, I am sure she will let you lean on her.”
“I know she is strong, but I don’t want to lean on her or anyone. What I went through was tough. My way of coping is just bottling it all up inside. I don’t know when it’ll finally leave me, or when I’ll finally break, but I’m scared that when I do, it’ll be worse than just a few tears.” He gritted his teeth together. “I don’t know why I am telling you this.”
“Perhaps you are telling me because it feels good to talk about it,” Natalia suggested. “We all go through horrors, some worse than others. Bottling it up will do you no good Cassius, you can entrust this information in another person, just one.”
He thought about her offer, mulled it over, eventually, he told her just a little bit, “I put on an arrogant front because I don’t want anyone to think I am anywhere near soft or compassionate. I was raised to be apathetic and uncaring. If I wasn’t, if I was too soft, I would pay for it. I will not describe how he abused me, but I know he would still do it if he had the chance,” he shivered. “He just doesn’t take his chances these days because he knows how strong I have become. I don’t feel any better talking about this, I’m done with it.”
“I understand,” Natalia gently placed a hand on his shoulder. “I am sorry you had to go through that and I am glad you confided in me. If he wasn’t a king, I would have a word with him, but there would go my head. You are strong Prince Cassius, you will prevail. You don’t have to have magic to have strong strength and control,” she said.
He flinched away from her sudden hand movement, but stayed still when he realized that she just wished to comfort him. “Right, thank you.” He cleared his throat, his cheeks burning and then coughed when a gust of the fire’s smoke hit him right in the face.
“I’ll put the fire out,” Natalia said as she stood.
“I don’t want her to wake and you should get some sleep,” Cassius suggested.
“And so should you,” Natalia said softly, splashing out the fire with a bucket of water she had kept nearby. “Rest Cassius, let your mind go off to a place where your father can not follow.”
Natalia disappeared back into her house and Cassius saw Antoine shift in the darkness. His breath hitched at the thought of him overhearing the conversation he just had with the woman. He screwed his eyes shut and laid himself down on the log, Clare’s head still on his lap. Sleep came when the sun began to come up.
Clare woke Cassius up that morning, she had not meant to, but he was a light sleeper and any small noise often disturbed his slumber. His eyes fluttered open to see her shining blue eyes staring at him. Once she registered he was awake, she sat up and stretched. Her mouth fell open and she released a loud yawn. She stretched her limbs and as she adjusted to moving, his hands lightly trailed down her sides. Her hair was quite the tangled mess, but it didn’t seem to bother her. She was content with her situation, waking up in the woods in Cassius’s arms. It was something she would have to get used to and though royalty were not allowed many vacations when they were in charge, she would suggest that they go every so often. She turned so that she was facing Cassius and let her hands grasp his fingertips that were warm from holding onto her all night.
“Did you sleep alright?” She asked softly, her voice soft and groggy from being unused for a while. Her eyes flickered to the log where Antoine had once been. Her eyebrows furrowed, her head spinning with questions, she didn’t necessarily remember falling asleep last night.
Cassius let his fingers fall out of her grasp, he gently pushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “Not really,” he said. His dark eyes were tired and sunken, she placed a hand on his cheek and he flinched, but quickly forced himself to relax.
“I’m not going to hurt you Cassius,” she whispered, “you just look tired and I wish I could magic the sleep into your body.”
“Well, sadly you didn’t get sleep inducing abilities,” he said, ignoring her comment about hurting him. He had caught her eyes flicker over to the other empty log. “He was here last night, I’m sure nothing bad happened to him, he’s probably inside with Natalia. Speaking of Natalia, she came out here last night while you were sleeping. She said she knows where we should go next and that we should leave soon.” Mixed in with the smell of the pine trees, he caught the smell of pancakes in the wind, “I think she is cooking breakfast, so I’ll let her explain what she’s said, she knows the information better than I do.”
Clare broke away from him and slid off the log, she held her hand out to him.
He debated on pushing her away or letting her lead him. In the end his hand gravitated to hers and he let her pull him up and to his feet.
She stood on her tiptoes, reaching up as far as she could to the top of his head where she pulled out a few leaves that the wind had left in his hair.
He gulped, holding his breath until she was done, she made his heart stir and he wasn’t sure what to do about that feeling, besides desperately hope that it would go away. When she was flat on her feet, he thanked her. “I appreciate you saving me from looking like a disaster.” He was still holding onto the hand that she had used to pull him up.
The two of them crossed the grass to the front door that was wide open. At the sight of Antoine, Cassius squeezed her hand tighter, partly to reassure her he was still alive and mostly to assert his protectiveness over her. He let her hand go so they could sit at the table and ignored Natalia’s sensitive gaze, choosing to forget that they had spoken last night.
Natalia flipped a pancake over the furnace in a medium sized pan. “Clare, I wanted to speak to you, it looks like you slept well,” she laughed, her eyes scanning the princesses ruffled hair.
Clare blushed her cheeks lighting up, “I did, thank you. Please go ahead and tell me what you wanted to tell me.” She had taken a seat between the two boys. She picked up the forest green mug in front of her and poured some coffee from the pitcher inside, she wasn’t a big coffee drinker, but she would need the caffeine to keep pushing through the day. She greeted Antoine with a wave and he smiled warmly at her,
not letting his eyes linger too long before going back to reading the book he had borrowed from Natalia.
“I know a man named Jesse, he was friends with your father. He lives up here in the mountains. I have taught you some things about control and I don’t want to keep you here longer then needed. I will give you one more lesson, but keep practicing what I taught you on the rest of your journey. Jesse will be your next best hint as to where your magic came from. After your stomachs digest, I will write you a letter to take to him. It’s been a while since I have spoken to that cynic, he used to be so lovely. I hope you will deliver it for me.”
“Of course,” Clare smiled gently, her interest piqued. “Do you know anything else about him?”
“Not much, I’m sorry. He moved into the mountains after your father passed away. He was friendly at first, but he suddenly turned dark, he told me he didn’t want to talk to anyone, so I left him alone. I’m sure he will welcome you, he should recognize your name. He has to,” she assured.
Natalia finished making a stack of pancakes and set the plate that held the large stack down on the table. She put down a jar of fresh maple syrup and a few berries that she had gotten from her garden to top the pancakes. She also had made a few eggs for protein. She sat down across from the three of them and passed them the silverware. Before she let them dig in, she spoke, “Thank you Oralee and Abilene for blessing us with this food,” she smiled up at the sky. Abilene was the Goddess from Asia, where her mother and father had come from. Once they had come here, she and her sister had changed their names to defy her parents and blend in, she became Natalia and her sister became Fran.
Once the small prayer was finished, she gestured for them to dig in. They each took a reasonable sized portion, doing their best to fuel their bodies for the day of travel ahead. Antoine was eagerly digging in, smiling warmly as the first bite slid down his throat. “Thank you, this meal is very good,” he said as he continued to eat.
Clare and Cassius echoed their thanks. Cassius had a smaller plate than Clare and he was barely picking at his food.
Clare frowned. “Are you okay?” She whispered to him.
“Yeah, just not that hungry,” he told her half honestly. Though he wasn’t starving, he hadn’t felt compelled to eat after spilling his emotions last night, but Clare’s concern and the fear of being impolite was enough to make him eat what was on his plate without any complaints.
“Is there anything else we should know about our journey to Jesse or anything else that we should know about him?” Clare asked, attempting to make conversation as she finished her pancakes.
“Your journey should be short,” Natalia told them, pointing her fork at Clare before taking another bite of her egg. “He doesn’t live far from here. You’ll need to cross the border and then keep going straight through the mountains. Then you should reach him shortly, you should be there just after the sun goes down. I’ve heard that his place is a little out of shape, so don’t be surprised if it doesn’t resemble this one in the slightest,” she said honestly. “And don’t worry, I have already packed you kids a bag. I put some apples and some pastries, some bread, cheese and a few other things along with three containers of water in your bag.” She seemed rather proud of herself. Clare finished up her plate and tilted her head.
“Do you have any children?” she asked. Natalia seemed like the type to nurture and to love.
“Oh no, I never found the right man. I was disowned for not marrying,” she twisted her face into a frown. “Fran left with me and we lived together for some time, making our living off of our crafts. We eventually separated so she and I could live our separate lifestyles. My magic was too much for her and her cats were too much for me. So no, no children. Though I do like them very much,” she admitted.
Clare returned the frown, “I’m sorry to hear that. You’ve been so kind to us, I want to let you know that you are welcomed as a guest at the Pax palace anytime. Even if you wanted to live with us you could, there is plenty of space.”
She seemed touched to tears, “oh I couldn’t live there, but I might make a visit in the future.”
Antoine grinned, “I’m sure Julius would be happy to have you as a guest as well.”
Cassius awkwardly finished the last bite of his pancake, “I would offer you a place at the Antias castle, but I’ll do you a favor and not give you that offer.”
Antoine quickly filled the silence that followed. He knew Cassius was unaware that he had heard everything last night and he preferred to keep it that way, if they kept talking about his home life it was plausible that he might let something slip. “I am going to go take a bath so that way we can be on our way, thank you again for this breakfast, you really know how to cook.” He wiped his mouth with a napkin and stood up, pushing in his chair. “You should really consider visiting the local villages, bring your cooking, there are always orphanages there, so many kids without homes, I know you could make them very happy with your food.” He gave her a comforting smile before disappearing up the stairs and into the guest bedroom where he could freshen up for their journey. Cassius was next, he stood up and looked over to Clare.
“I’m going to get a head start and freshen up okay? I smell like a fire. Thank you for the breakfast Natalia.” He bent down and for a second he contemplated kissing the top of Clare’s head, his lips puckered and froze. ‘Were they there yet?’ Clare glanced up at him and nodded. At her permission his lips gently grazed the top of her head and he jogged up the stairs into the other guest bedroom.
“I take it that is the first time that has happened,” Natalia said as she looked up the stairs and winked.
“Oh, yes, he hasn’t done that before. I’m not sure why. I understand his hesitation though, the two of us have needed to strengthen our bond. He is so different when he is away from his father. He’s fragile and kinder, I like him this way, but I don’t like when he hurts. Anyways,” she said, “we haven’t even kissed yet. Natalia, can I have some motherly advice?”
The woman leaned forward on her elbows, eager to help. “Of course darling, what is it?”
Clare drew in a breath and lowered her voice to a whisper. “I am attracted to both of them. I love different things about both of them and my heart is so torn.”
Natalia frowned sympathetically. Clare wondered if she had been in a similar situation herself. Natalia didn’t speak, she waited for Clare to elaborate because she knew sometimes all one needed was a listening ear. Oftentimes after talking it through they would come to the conclusion themselves without any help.
“Cassius is kind underneath. We don’t have much in common, but he tries so hard for me, harder than he should have to and he is very attractive,” she lost her breath and had to recompose herself before continuing. “There is definitely some flickering spark between us, but then I compare him to Antoine. Antoine is my fairytale, he would be my happily ever after. He loves to read, he appreciates the arts, he is cute and would cuddle with me. He is soft and gentle while Cassius is the opposite. I am supposed to be with Cassius, I will be with him, there is no escaping it, but how do I get these feelings for Antoine to go away?” she asked.
Natalia finally opened her mouth to speak after some consideration. “Feelings can not just go away overnight. You know what is morally right, you should be with Cassius, for everyone’s safety, but we are always drawn to the dangerous unknown aren’t we?”
“We are,” she whispered sadly. Her eyes began to fill with tears and Natalia stood up and crossed the room to sit in the chair next to her.
“What is it darling?”
“Natalia, I am going to get him killed,” her tears were slow and hot, falling down her face in streams of regret. The woman placed her arms around the young girls shoulders. She wasn’t sure what she meant, but she doubted that this information was true.
“King Erebus sent a letter,” she was choking on her tears now, “they are going to execute him because they saw us together and they think that I’m in love wit
h him. I should have stayed away from him, I should have never brought him here. Is he doomed to the eternity I have made for him?”
Natalia rubbed gentle circles in the girl’s shoulder blades, her heart ached for her. “There is still time my dear, you can still reverse whatever mess you may have accidentally made. Love has no bounds, you couldn’t control it. He agreed to come with you didn’t he?” At her nod, she smiled. “See? He wouldn’t have done this if he didn’t trust you. Think good thoughts.”
They sat there in the kitchen for a few minutes, Clare did her best to quiet her tears. Once she regained her composure, she turned to Natalia. “Can I hug you please?”
Natalia nodded and welcomed the girl into a warm and tight embrace. If Gracielle and Sage weren’t here to comfort her, then she would be. She would always be here for Clare no matter how far away she ventured, she felt connected to this girl, it was probably their ties to magic that caused her to feel this way.
“If you need me, Jesse’s isn’t far. Write to me anytime and I promise that I will visit you like you want me to,” she stood the girl up and slowly let go of her arms. “Let’s have one last training session and then you should go freshen up okay?” She ran a hand over the back of the girl's hair, “I’m going to pack you a few extra goodies while you’re cleaning up, you deserve them.”
Natalia had told Clare their training would not be too intense and that she could complete it in her nightgown. The two of them, full from breakfast, made their way back to the clearing. The birds were chirping in the trees, the sun was beating down, but the weather was still cool and slightly chilly.
“I wanted to show you something that I can do with my magic that don’t have to do with healing. I’m not sure if it’s the same for you, but if it is, then I’d like you to be able to use these skills,” Natalia said as she outstretched her hands.