by A. Kingsley
“We will take some plates, I’m going to make an announcement once we are back out in the snow,” Clare said.
Once they were back outside, she stepped out into the middle of the square with a hot plate of pork and potatoes. The people’s eyes were dripping with hunger, following her as if she were prey. If she wasn’t a princess, there would have easily been a fight over the food in her hand. “If you have already eaten, please do not take this food. I know it may be tempting, but I want everyone’s hunger to be somewhat satisfied today. Please only take what you need.”
There were nods from the crowd. Cassius, Clare and their crew of boys began to hand out plates of food for the families to share. The boys were young, but she was glad to see that they were happy to help and she was even happier to see that they weren’t in the army. Though the legal age in her kingdom to go off to war was sixteen during pressing times, there were always captains who managed to recruit kids as young as twelve and not get caught.
“Here you are,” she said to a family of four, she handed them the biggest plate of food that they owned and a couple sets of silverware.
The family said thanks and then ate the food slowly. If they ate fast, the food would come back up later. When there was hardly any food, most argued that it was better to eat slow and savor every last piece.
All of the plates went quick. As the remaining families ate and the families that had already finished left, Clare stood back in the middle of the square. The snow was coming down heavier and even the warm clothes couldn’t stop her from shivering. “We will have to be off. Thank you to those who talked to me, I love hearing your sweet voices. I hope you enjoyed the food. I will do my best to get more blankets out to you soon and have more food come your way. In the meantime, please try to stay inside to avoid the winter storms. Stay warm!” She shivered against Cassius and he wrapped his arms around her waist, his smile lingered as he found Cruz in the crowd. Once the people began to disperse, Cruz ran up to him. “Please respond back to my letter when I write to you, Prince Cassius.”
“Of course,” Cassius told him. He gave the twelve year old a high five. The boy was called back by the restaurant owner.
Cassius would never hear from him.
Back at the castle, Gracielle had already arranged everything for their arrival. Two hot baths because she did not want them bathing together and two hot mugs of cider. Cassius and Clare both went their separate ways. When they were both warmer, they met up in the sitting room. While they discussed the tales of the day, Sage couldn’t help but feel defeated. No matter how hard she tried, her sister by nature, would always be a better queen.
The next day, Antoine’s family came to visit him for the first time. They were well aware of the news, but had not gotten the chance to be relieved from their duties to go visit their son. They were also afraid that in the earlier months, it was too dangerous for them to make an appearance. They arrived with hoods covering their faces, but dropped them once they entered the door. Angelique, was a tall woman with brunette hair, brown eyes and cream skin. Her husband Gaius, had hair as white as snow and light blue eyes, he was scruffy and tired, but he smiled brightly throughout his entire visit. Adem and Gabrielle each took after different parents. While Gabrielle looked like Gaius and Antoine, Adem looked exactly like his mother. Upon their arrival each family member smothered Antoine in hugs.
Cassius did his best to stay away during their meeting. When they arrived, he didn’t go downstairs. Perhaps he was behaving like a coward, but he didn’t want Antoine’s family to be reminded of why their son was locked up and suffering. Instead he stayed alone in his room. When he heard the laughter and the giggles, he felt tears form in his eyes. Even this family could laugh while his own could not. He was staring up at the ceiling and twiddling his thumbs when Antoine came into the bedroom.
“Cass … are you okay?” Antoine asked. It was clear he had been smiling brightly, but when he came into the room, his smile faded.
Cassius couldn’t help but feel like the killer of joy. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. “Yeah don’t worry about me Antoine, I’m fine. You can go away now,” he said awkwardly.
Antoine moved closer and sat on the edge of the bed. “I want you to come downstairs please. I already told my family and they know you have nothing to do with this situation. Please just come have dessert with us. Have you even eaten at all today?” His eyebrows dipped almost touching his glasses. He was bursting with concern and Cassius couldn’t take sympathy when he felt like he didn’t deserve it.
“Yes I ate,” he lied. Phoebe and Esmeralda had been too busy and he didn’t want to bother them with an order for food. Just then his stomach rumbled and his lie was exposed.
“Come on Cass … I mean Cassius, you need to eat and I want you to have fun with us. My family is staying the night, so you’ll be stuck in here for the rest of the night if you decide to stay,” he said.
“Fine, I’ll come. Thanks for caring about me.”
“Yeah, of course. How could I not. I love you. You’re my friend.”
Cassius’s mind froze and then sped up again. ‘Antoine loves me? He values me as a friend? He actually values our friendship? Someone cares about me who doesn’t have to?’ Cassius thought. He felt as if he could break down, but he didn’t. He couldn’t manage to say the words I love you back. They had been hard to say his entire life, the only person he could speak the words to was his mother. So he settled for something that would get the message across, “Yeah you’re my friend. I would make sure you ate too,” he choked out, before dashing past him and out of the room.
The two boys appeared in the kitchen. Cassius waved shyly, expecting to be met with glares. Clare was elated that he had joined them, Sage looked neutral and Gracielle was pleased. He hesitantly let his eyes fall on Antoine’s family. Gaius was grinning from ear to ear, just glad to have his son safe and near. “Come join us son,” Gaius said. He wasn’t aware of how much that statement meant to Cassius. A soft smile crossed Cassius’s lips and he laughed a little when Antoine playfully hit his back. He sat down at the table and listened to Adem speak about his adventures with the arena animals and he listened to Gabrielle talk about the books that she had read. The idea of family was starting to become less intimidating. He was not revolted by these set of humans. While the rest of humanity, his father at the core of this belief, concerned him, he felt nothing but joy sitting inside of the Pax palace and eating a large helping of apple tart. He felt overwhelmingly loved.
January came to a close quickly. The rest of the month the royals spent their time making arrangements to help the poorest village towns. Clare, who took on organizing the project, was slouched over in her chair on the last day of the month.
Cassius approached her and crouched down. “Clare,” he whispered, his voice was strained from crying and his eyes were still puffy no matter how many times he had wiped them.
She looked up from the stack of parchment on her desk. When she saw the sadness in his eyes, she collected his scruffy jaw in her hands. “What is it Cassius?” Her tired eyes swam with concern. Her mind immediately jumped to the worst conclusions. ‘What if something had happened to his mother? What if while she had locked herself away in this room, they had taken Antoine?’
Somehow the news he told her felt just as bad. “I haven’t heard from Cruz and I heard the guards discussing their trip to the village to hand out the blankets. They said that on a farm they saw a mum, kneeling down next to a dead body that belonged to a little boy with shaggy brown hair. I think Cruz died.” He was doing everything in his power not to cry, not to break down at the thought of the dead child, but he couldn’t. He let a tear fall down his face and then another, his chest rapidly rose and fell, on the inside he was panicking, but he had learned to silent cry.
When her hands moved, he flinched away, then he saw the hurt in her eyes and he leaned closer. Clare would not hurt him. She pulled herself down to the ground and threw her arms around him so they were l
ocked in a tight embrace. Neither of them knew what to say, but both could feel what the other was thinking. Clare was damning herself for not sending the order a day sooner and Cassius was mourning the loss of a boy who reminded him of his childhood self, desperate for friendship, desperate for a brother that didn’t exist.
Neither of them knew how long they sat there on the cold floor, but it felt like eternity. As each one of his tears fell onto her skin, it told her a part of his story. The abuse, the loneliness, the desire to impress. After years of silence, he told her about his past. She collected every tear and every story, placing it carefully in the front of her brain. He was fragile. Glass that she had managed to shatter a million times. She promised herself that she wouldn’t break him again. His heart was in her hands and she would protect it with her life.
The second red flame
Clare’s birthday was on the fourteenth of February. Leading up to that day, her and Cassius spent their days arranging plans to help the village. Though the snow piles were lower, there was still a snow storm every other day. Just like Cruz had suggested, they put together food bags for each family. All members of the Pax family worked on the food packages. When shipment to the palace arrived, they would ration it.
Sage would start by opening the bag and attaching the royal letter, she would then pass it to Antoine, who put in the vegetables. Antoine would pass it to Cassius, who put in the crackers and cheese and then he would pass it onto Gracielle, who would put in the bread and fruit. Finally the basket would go to Clare, she would tie the bag with ribbon and take it to the guards who were on delivery duty. While the guards were at the village, they were instructed to inspect each home that they delivered food to. If there was something broken that was easily mendable with the tool boxes that they carried, they were instructed to fix it. With their efforts all throughout the beginning of February, there were less hungry faces and more warm spirits.
Clare’s birthday was different from Sage’s. With Antoine’s current circumstances there was no way that she was going to be able to enjoy a grand event, but she was still secretly hoping that something special would happen to her on her birthday. She woke up on her birthday to Cassius standing over her. She jolted up from her slumber and scanned over him, once she registered that he wasn’t hurt or sad, she relaxed.
He smiled and held out a bouquet of roses that he had collected from the garden. “I wanted to be the first one to wish you happy birthday,” he said. “I’m sure that Sage might be a little jealous, but that’s not the reason behind my action. I just wanted to see your beautiful face, both sleepy and happy at the same time.” He extended the flowers out to her, there was a thick wrap of cotton around the stems so that she wouldn’t hurt her hands by touching the thorns. She inhaled the sweet scent of the roses and placed them on her bedside table.
“Thank you, I love them.” She slid out of bed and let her feet hit the cold floor.
He swooped her up in his arms so that she wouldn’t have to shiver. Their eyes met and Cassius looked both hesitant and regretful, scared that she would be mad at him for picking her up. But she wasn’t mad, she leaned up to his face and for the first time, she placed a gentle kiss on his lips. If his skin were light enough for a blush to appear, he would have been bright red. His cheeks were hot and his eyes were wide, but he forced himself to focus on the moment and return the kiss.
The kiss only lasted a moment before they both pulled away. This was supposed to be Clare’s birthday, not Cassius’s, but he felt as if he had gotten the best gift in the world. Kissing her was different. Not only was it grand, but there was an emotion behind their kiss that wasn’t lust and it frightened Cassius. He wasn’t used to that odd feeling.
Neither of them spoke about the kiss, he set her back down on the bed and went into her closet. “What would you like to wear?” His voice was a little shaky and he stomped his foot on the floor to regain his composure.
“You choose,” she hummed.
Cassius was hesitant to take on such a big task. A few months ago, Cassius would have picked out something tight and something dark, but he knew now that wasn’t her taste and he wanted her to feel comfortable on her special day. He cursed himself for being an arse a few months back, as he thumbed through the clothes in her closet. Eventually he found something fitting. There was no need for a ball gown because they weren’t going to be having any more guests today. Instead, he picked out a long maroon dress with three black buttons down the middle. It had thin sleeves that stopped at her wrist and the dress itself trailed down to the floor.
“I haven’t seen you wear this dress and it’s close to your favorite color, that is why I picked it. I think you’d look even more gorgeous in it, if that is even possible.” He handed her the dress and she slid off the bed to examine it.
“Thank you Cassius, I love it, you did a good job. I’ll meet you downstairs after I’ve changed, could you put my roses in a vase?”
“Of course, I’m glad you like them.”
When Cassius went out of the room with the roses in his hands, Phoebe came in with a bucket of new makeup. She helped Clare into her dress and tied her hair into a twist. “Your hair is getting long, it is almost to your sides,” she said as she started to pin her hair up with clips. “I’m going to hurry and finish getting you ready. I can already tell there is an argument taking place downstairs between Cassius and Sage because he saw you first on your birthday and she’s always seen you first,” Phoebe said.
Once Clare’s hair was finished, she helped her put on a pair of pearl earrings and then dusted her face with rosy pink blush. “You’re all set, put on some shoes and get down there!” she exclaimed happily.
Clare thanked Phoebe and then hurriedly headed down the stairs in a matching pair of maroon flats. She was surprised to see them all standing there in a row. They were dressed up just like she had been. ‘Had she really not noticed Cassius wearing that handsome black suit?’
Sage reached in front of Cassius to give her sister a hug. “We are only a year apart, for now,” she smirked as she pulled back and gave her an orange box. “Since you’re magical now, I got these for you from the market. I hope you like them.”
Clare let out a soft laugh and popped open the lid to the box. A beaded bracelet of rose quartz.
“I was reading the book mum forced me to analyze and I found out that if you accumulate more jewelry of the stone chosen for your magic, it helps with control. I don’t know, it could all be a bunch of rubbish and if it is, I hope you at least think it looks pretty.”
“That is so sweet Sage, it is beautiful, thank you.” She slipped the bracelet on her arm, even though it didn’t match her dress. She had left her quartz necklace in the room, she had rushed and forgot to put it on.
Antoine stepped forward when Sage stepped back. “For you, happy birthday.” He handed her a small silver box. Inside were two more necklaces, a thin gold chain and a shiny black one. Along with the necklace chains there were two rings, each with a place to hold a gem. One was silver and the other was bronze. “I thought that you might want to switch things up when you’re wearing your stone. You’re into fashion, one small chain can’t do the trick forever can it?”
She embraced him tightly and he stumbled back a bit. He held onto her for a few moments, not wanting to let go, he had missed holding her like this, especially at night.
The heat of Cassius’s gaze made him let go. “I also wrote you a little story. It’s on the shelf in the library. I thought it would be fun if you found it.”
“Thank you,” she said happily. “I can not wait to find your book.”
Gracielle, a tad annoyed that she was practically last in line, pulled her daughter in close. “You are so old and grown up! You make me feel like an old, old, woman.”
Clare pulled away from her grasp and set the boxes she was holding down so that she could accept her mother’s gift. When she looked inside of the black box her mum had given her, her face lit up red and she shoved
the lid back on top. A lace garter. “Seriously?!” she whispered.
“Just thought it was something that you might want,” Gracielle said.
Clare put the box down next to the others, not bothering to announce to everyone else what she had just received. Phoebe took the boxes to her room.
They stood with her in the hallway for a moment and Wade watched them from a distance. He clung to the ceiling so that she would not see him. He had made it home just in time. Clare was unaware why he had taken so long and she had lost all hope that he was coming home, but he had a few stops to attend along the way. He wouldn’t linger forever, but he’d remain in the palace for her special day. He would come back when his spirit was needed again.
They enjoyed a large breakfast and dinner that day. Antoine took her to the library in the afternoon to find his book. She had practically memorized the titles of all the romance books in the library from their time spent together. She could tell from the colors of the spines which section they were in. She started in the fantasy section which was a good guess. As she moved down the row of books, she eventually found his book among the author’s whose first names started with A. “Well you made that very easy,” she teased as she pulled out the book. It was written in a journal that he had painted a water color blue. There were magic swirls of green on the cover and the spine. He had painted the paper gold.
“It’s gorgeous,” she told him as she flipped through the pages. There must have been over two hundred. “How long have you been working on this?”