by T. K. Chapin
After the sirens faded, I opened up my Bible. I was still lugging around the keepsake one I found on the bookcase that pivotal day I made a change in my life. The worn out leather that kept the brittle pages together reminded me of how important God’s word truly is to his followers. I didn’t want to go back to my old Bible that still had pages that were stuck together.
With the scriptures laid open, I bowed my head and I said a prayer to God. For Megan, Cindy, Amanda, and all firemen across the grief-stricken city. Then I prayed for myself, that God would strengthen me and provide me with the words needed to speak with my wife. Finishing my prayer, I started in on my reading for the morning that suited the events lately perfectly, James one.
Checking out of the hotel later that morning, I hailed a cab to take me out to Everett, where Amanda lived. During the ride, I prepared for the conversation I would have when I saw Megan after such a long separation. I was nervous about seeing her again under such tragic circumstances. Again and again, I mentally rehearsed what I would say to her. Line after line I tried to piece together an understanding of how to come across to her. Then, I reminded myself of what Micah said about God being with me and the prayer I made back at the hotel about God giving me the words to speak.
I gave it to God through prayer, and then I peered out my window as we sped along the Seattle freeway up to Everett. I saw a maroon-colored van with a family inside for what I presumed to be some sort of family vacation. I made this judgment by the crammed suitcases in the back and the teenager sleeping with headphones over his ears. He was drooling on a pillow that was pressed up against the window. I grinned as I recalled similar vacations as a child. As my cab driver sped up, I could see into the passenger seat up front and I saw a woman sobbing as she read a pamphlet of some sort. I was curious why she was crying, so I leaned closer to the window for a peek at the brochure. It was a funeral brochure. Relaxing back into my seat in the cab, I realized something that never had occurred to me prior to that moment. Every person in the world, even the driver in the front seat of my taxi, has a life going on that other people don’t know about. I knew other people had lives… but I never thought about how things could look different than they actually were. Just like the family in the van next to my cab.
“Sir,” I said, knocking on the dividing window between me and the gentleman up front.
“Yes?” He said with a Spanish accent over his shoulder.
“How are you?”
The man looked to be confused as he stared into his rearview mirror at me. I wondered for a moment if he didn’t quite understand English, but then he responded. “I find out that my little girl is getting married. She in France.”
“Wow,” I replied. “So you are going to be a father-in-law? Congratulations!”
He shook his head as he looked in the mirror at me again. “I tell her it mistake tonight! Me mad!”
I laughed as I thought it was a joke, but I knew it wasn’t when his eyebrows furrowed.
“She can’t live in France! Me and her mother come to Merica to be free! She be too far away right there! In France!”
I nodded. “I have two little boys that I couldn’t imagine being that far away from.”
“Yes? How old you boys?”
“Two and three,” I replied. “One’s turning four next month.”
Looking in the mirror, I saw him shaking his head. “Bad ages… those ages!”
I let out a laugh and nodded. “They are a treat, that’s for sure!” I replied.
He nodded and joined me in the laugh before getting serious again. “Important time in life, those ages. That when they learn good and bad. Right and wrong.”
I nodded. “Oh hey, by the way, I didn’t introduce myself, I’m Cole Taylor.”
He pointed back at the picture and information on the window that separated us. He said with his thick Spanish accent, “Javier Sanchez. Nice to meet you, Cole Taylor.”
“Nice to meet you, Javier.”
That conversation with Javier lasted all the way through the morning rush hour traffic on the way up to Everett. We even got stuck behind a twenty car pileup, but we didn’t care. We were too enthralled with the lively conversation we had going between us. I was absolutely blown away at how similar the struggles were between our different cultures. During that cab ride, I learned he was working two jobs to finance his little girl’s dream to go to France for the summer. And I told him about what had happened with Tom dying and even Megan and my marriage problems. It was just so comfortable to talk to the guy. And I’ll never forget the piece of advice that I’ll cherish for the rest of the days of my life. I was about to get out of the car at Amanda’s house when he turned and said with that Spanish accent I came to appreciate on the car ride, “Cole.”
I turned back to him and smiled as I said, “Yeah, Javier?”
“You win, she win or you lose, she lose… there is nothing else.”
I kept smiling and said, “Thanks.” Shutting the door, he took off from the curb as I turned around to Amanda’s house.
The light and happy feeling I had in my soul pulled away with Javier’s cab. And what remained was the cold reality I had been facing for about twenty-four hours now. To break the news to my wife. The atmosphere out on the sidewalk in front of Amanda’s sort of matched the sky that morning. Dark and dreary. Seeing Javier’s taillights whip around the corner and out of sight, I sighed as I longed for the easy distraction our conversation provided on the way up here from Seattle.
Amanda’s house was a depressing bluish-green, two stories in height and set on a grassy slope. A couple of busted cement steps with grass growing through the cracks led up into her yard, which looked to have not been mowed in a few weeks. That cracked cement continued itself right up to the front porch. Taking one last deep breath, I grabbed my suitcase from the sidewalk and made my way up to the house.
Giving the door a couple of firm knocks, I set my suitcase down, straightened out my leather jacket and adjusted my footing as I waited for someone to answer. The door flung open and Megan was standing right there. It had been such a long time without seeing her; it sort of felt surreal to be standing right in front of her. She looked stunningly beautiful regardless of the thrashed hair and pieces of Mac n’ Cheese I could see that solidified themselves to a few of the strands of her hair. I just smiled.
“What are you doing here, Cole?” she demanded as one hand held onto the door and the other rested alongside the doorframe.
“I need to talk to you,” I insisted, trying to keep my eyes on hers and not on that gorgeous figure of hers that I missed. This wasn’t a time to get caught checking her out. It was a delicate situation that had to be handled in a way that communicated love and gentleness like I hadn’t ever shown before.
“I’ve been letting you talk to the boys,” she said as she sighed heavily shaking her head. “I don’t get why you left your job and took more time off to come to Seattle…”
“Well… It’s kind of a unique situation, love,” I said.
And for a moment I saw the corner of her lip come up as if she was about to smile but then she pulled it back. “You can’t call me that,” she said, standing a little bit straighter as she whipped her hair behind her shoulder.
My boys came screaming down the hallway to the front door, pushing past their mother. “Daddy!” Justin shouted out clear as day as he climbed up one of my legs. Bradley was giggling as he latched onto my other leg and sat on my foot.
My heart swelled with joy at the sight of them. Bringing them both up into my arms, I took a step back and said, “I missed you two so much!”
“Em miss you da,” Bradley said, looking back inside as he spoke.
Bradley then leaned in and kissed my cheek, Justin saw and followed suit. “Well, come in I guess,” Megan said as she let her hand that was holding the door fall away. Setting the boys down, I grabbed my suitcase and stepped in. “You brought your suitcase here?” she asked.
“I can explain.
Is Amanda here?” I asked, trying to peek past Megan down the hall and into the kitchen as I set my suitcase down.
She moved to block my eyes, she asked, “Why? She’s up in the shower. What’s going on, Cole? Please just tell me. My imagination will get the better of me if you don’t just tell me.”
Glancing up the stairs where I knew the bathroom was, I continued into the kitchen past Megan. She followed closely behind me. “Have a seat, babe,” I said, looking over at the chairs around the kitchen table.
She and I sat down at the table and the boys tried to climb my legs to get up to me. “Hey boys,” I said to them. They both looked up into my eyes as they waited for me to continue. “Could you go play for a little bit? Your mom and I need to talk.”
Bradley and Justin clenched onto me tighter and it melted my heart. “Just for a little bit, okay?” I said to them.
“Boys! Go play!” Megan said to them.
They cried a little and made their way out of the kitchen and up the stairs. Turning my sights back to my wife, I placed my hand on top of hers that was lying relaxed on the table. Her eyes looked worried.
“What is it, Cole?”
I took my other hand and placed it onto her arm. Her soft skin reminded me of how delicate she truly was by nature. I scooted my seat closer to her.
“What’s going on?” she demanded, pulling her hand and arm out quickly from my touch as she stood up.
I stood up to meet her eye level. Placing my hands softly onto the sides of her arms, I looked her in the eyes and said, “It’s about your Dad…” My eyes instantly began watering and my lip trembled as I watched my beautiful rose fall apart. I was failing to keep it together. I prayed quickly.
Please God, don’t let me break down in front of her. It’ll only make things worse! Please!
She began crying as she shook her head. “How bad is it?” she asked as she patted her eyes with a tissue from the table. “Is he paralyzed or something? Is that why you flew out here and didn’t just call?”
My eyes began watering more as I realized she couldn’t even fathom the thought of her dad dying. I rubbed her arms a little bit and then it clicked for Megan.
“He’s not… dead, right?” she asked, seeming to already know the answer.
I came in closer.
She leaned her head against my chest and began crying uncontrollably, as she grabbed onto my shirt under my jacket. I placed my arms around Megan and put one hand up on her hair, the other on her back and began rubbing softly. “It’s going to be okay, Honey… I’m here for you.”
After a few minutes of her wetting my jacket and shirt while I held her, she pulled back and wiped her eyes with another tissue at the table before she took a seat. I joined her in the chair across the table and she asked, “So what happened?”
“Are you sure you want to know the details right now?” I asked, placing a hand on hers.
She took three deep nods before nodding quickly.
A teary-eyed Amanda came into the kitchen at that point and pulled a seat up next to Megan, giving her a hug. She must have been listening in from around the corner, I thought as I watched them both cry together for a few more minutes before they directed their attention back to me.
“So, there was a fire…” I began to say.
Amanda let out an inappropriate laugh. “Seriously?” she said. “Obviously there was a fire…”
“What is wrong with you?” Megan asked with tear filled eyes.
“Sorry…” Amanda replied.
I continued, “And he was saving a little girl…” I paused for a moment as I wiped a few tears from my cheeks. Clearing my throat, I continued, “And he did save that little girl…” My words got choked up as I forced myself to continue. “But on the way out, part of the building collapsed… and a support beam came down, pinning him to the ground.”
Both Megan and Amanda were sobbing quietly. I stood up and draped my body over Megan and I hugged her while I rubbed her back gently. Amanda laid her head against Megan and I wrapped my arms around her also. We all wept together.
Once we regained our composure, I sat down as Amanda asked, “How’d the girl get out?”
“Well, after the beam pinned him down, I hurried inside to rescue him. I didn’t even know he found the girl at that point… and when I found him…” I stopped again and shook my head trying to fight the tears away.
Megan stood up and put her arm around me, letting her head rest against my shoulder. I found the strength to continue. “When I found Tom… he was still alive and he had the beam held up with his arm to protect the girl. I was able to pull her to safety, but another part of the house was about to collapse. I tried to free him, but he told me to run.”
Amanda leaned in, tears streaming down her face. “So you were there in his last moments on earth…”
I nodded.
“What did he say?” Amanda asked.
I rubbed my face with both of my palms as I took a deep breath in and said, “He told me to take care of you girls.”
Megan looked over at her sister.
Amanda leaned back and said, “Wow… I can’t believe he’s gone.”
“Me either,” Megan said.
“He didn’t say anything about Mom?” Amanda asked.
I shook my head. “He told me earlier in the shift that he was worried about you two.” I glanced at Megan as she raised her watery eyes from my shoulder and then my eyes shifted to Amanda. “You two were bar hopping or something? Mike called him about it.”
Amanda nodded as she sniffled a little. “Yeah… I talked to my dad about it.”
Megan took a step back from me as she looked into my eyes. “You knew about that? And you still came here?”
I nodded. “I didn’t like hearing about you bar hopping… but that doesn’t change how I feel about you. I love you Megan.”
Her eyes watered more as she grabbed onto my neck tightly hugging me. She began crying harder into my shoulder and then she kissed my cheek. “I’m so sorry, Baby… I should have never left you. I was being stupid.”
“Megan…” Amanda said.
Megan turned to her. And Amanda’s eyes grew even wider at Megan.
“But right now I need to be here for my sister…” Megan said, looking back at me, letting her head dip to her chest. “I shouldn’t make a decision right now about us… I’m too emotional.”
“But you just said you made a bad decision originally,” I said. My eyes narrowed on Amanda, “What did you remind her of?” I asked. She just shook her head at me and looked away.
“I know what I said, Cole. But I need time. It wouldn’t be fair to you if I just come back because my dad died… would it? You would doubt my reasons for coming home. I want to come back for the right ones.”
I nodded lightly, but I remained suspicious.
“When’s the funeral?” Amanda asked, standing up. “Wait, when did this even happen? You just showed up on our doorstep this morning.”
“I don’t know about the funeral. Your mom is handling the arrangements. This happened yesterday morning…” I replied.
“Why didn’t our mother call us?” Amanda asked as she stepped up next to Megan’s side. Her eyebrows were furrowed and I sensed a little hostility in her voice.
“She was distraught and I told her I wanted to fly out and tell the both of you. Especially after what Tom had said, I felt it was best.”
Shaking her head, Amanda asked, “What is it you are trying to do, Cole? You won’t replace our father!”
I felt uncomfortable sitting and stood, putting my hands up and taking a step back. Megan stepped in front of her and said with a sharp tone, “Stop it Amanda. He’s just trying to help.”
Amanda shook her head. “You didn’t even like him, Cole… And now you’re honoring his dying wishes? We don’t even know if that’s what he said!” she shouted at me over Megan’s shoulder.
“Stop,” Megan said, putting her hands around Amanda. “Cole wouldn’t lie about t
hat.”
Amanda turned and went out the back slider, slamming it behind her.
“I’m sorry… I don’t know where all that came from,” Megan said looking into my eyes.
“I understand… she’s just upset right now.”
Megan nodded as she grabbed one of my hands and placed it between both of hers. “Thank you so much for being here for me, Cole.”
I pulled my hand back and wrapped my arms around her as I said, “I wouldn’t have it any other way, my love.”
Suddenly a crash came from outside on the porch. Megan and I both glanced out the slider and Megan said back to me, “I think you should go. I need to be alone with her. Maybe you could check into the hotel a few blocks down from here?”
I nodded. “I agree. You two should have some time to talk, maybe call your mother.”
She nodded as tears started up again. She wiped them away and said, “I’ll call you or something here in a bit.”
“Okay. Did you want me to take the boys for a bit?”
She shook her head. “No, that’s okay… They need lunch and a nap soon.”
I nodded. Megan proceeded out the sliding glass door and I made my way to the base of the stairs that went up to the bedrooms where the boys were.
“Boys,” I shouted up the stairs. “Come give me a hug and a kiss.”
Justin and Bradley came barreling down the stairs with grins on their innocent faces. Picking them both up in my arms, I kissed both of them. “I’ll see you in a little while.”
“Da-da, go bye?” Bradley said, his smile falling away from his face.
“I’ll be just down the road, okay Buddy?” I kissed his cheek again and then Justin’s before setting them back down. They were about to burst into tears, but thankfully their little cousin Ivy called them back to the room. Grabbing my suitcase, I went out the front door and onto the sidewalk. Glancing up the road, I could see the corner of the hotel only a few blocks away and started on my way.