“Okay, Daddy.” He nodded, looking cute in his overalls and red flannel shirt.
“That’s better. Now, I know this is hard for you, but I need you to do a big favor for Daddy today. Some ladies are coming to eat dinner with us so they can visit you. You can’t scream in McDonald’s or we’ll have to leave. I don’t want you getting sick either.”
He glimpsed fear in Joey’s eyes.
“One of the ladies is Joleen. The lady with the brown hair and blue eyes.”
Joey nodded, wide eyed.
“And also Leanne.”
Joey stiffened.
“I know you don’t like seeing her, buddy, but you still have to do this. Be very good and we may not have to see her too many more times, okay?”
Joey nodded, his lower lip trembling. Dave pulled him close.
“I know this is hard for you, bud. It’s hard for me too. I promise I won’t leave you alone with those ladies this time.” He set Joey down and looked him in the eyes. “I’ll stay with you.”
Joey released a loud sigh. “O ’tay.” He popped his thumb into his mouth and tweaked the end of his nose.
“You can play, now. I’ll watch, and I’ll tell you when it’s time to come out.”
Joey ran and jumped into the ball pit. Laughing, he tossed balls up in the air. Dave pulled his camera out of Joey’s diaper bag and snapped a photo of him playing, then sat down on a bench. He prayed that the Lord would help him get through the meeting and that Diane would come.
Suddenly cool hands covered his eyes. A husky feminine voice, much lower than Diane’s said, “Guess who?”
Pulling free, Dave turned, his smile wary. “Joleen, how are you?”
“Fine.” She slid onto the bench beside him.
He placed his hand on her shoulder and pointed. “Look, see Joey over there? He’s having a ball—literally.”
She smiled, and her face came within inches of his. “Where’s Diane?”
He swallowed hard. “I don’t know if she’s coming or not. She didn’t say.”
Joleen leaned close and whispered in his ear, her warm breath making him shiver. “Does that mean it’s just you and me?”
He eased away from her. “Yeah, it’s just us.”
Joleen put her hands on her hips. “Why do I get the impression you don’t feel comfortable around me?”
He frowned. “I’m that obvious?”
She rolled her eyes.
“Sorry.” Dave rubbed his sweaty palm on the leg of his faded Levi’s.
Her gaze slid between his eyes and mouth. “You don’t like me, do you?”
He winced. “I think you’re a nice person.”
“Cut the bull, Dave. You get my meaning.”
“Not the way you want me to, if that’s what you mean.”
“Is it because of Diane?”
“Honestly? No. I still wouldn’t be interested.”
“Remember all the fun we had in my room when my parents were out of town?” She gently poked his abdomen.
He slid back on the bench, putting more space between them. “I’m not like that anymore. I told you I’m a Christian, Joleen. I thought you understood that.”
She smirked. “A girl can still hope, can’t she?”
“Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I just can’t go there.”
“Your reason?”
“For one thing, I’m afraid you’ll use it against me in court. That’s why I’m so nervous around you. I’m afraid you’ll turn on me if I refuse.”
She stiffened. “You think I’d be that low and that unprofessional?”
“I hope not, but I really don’t know what you’ll do. I can’t lose my son. This nightmare isn’t over yet. You have a lot of power over me.”
“Apparently not enough,” she muttered.
“See what I mean? And you wonder why I’m nervous.”
“Well, then you don’t know me very well. Whether we’re involved or not has no bearing on my job as Joey’s attorney, I can promise you that.”
He heaved a sigh. “Thank you. I just can’t stand the idea of losing him. I couldn’t take it. Regardless of what the judge decides, he’s my son.”
“I know, and I’m sorry.” She hung her head. “I probably gave you the impression that if you didn’t hook up with me, I would recommend that Leanne get custody of Joey. That was wrong.”
Dave exhaled. “I’m sorry I didn’t trust you more.”
“You could have prayed about it.”
He smirked. “Fancy hearing you say that.”
She poked his arm and smirked back. “Well, don’t make an issue of it. I won’t bug you if it makes you nervous. I’m not that pathetic.”
“Thanks, Joleen. I appreciate it. Still friends?” He stuck out his hand.
“I’d rather have a hug.”
“All right.” Dave smiled and pulled her close for a brief hug.
She clung to him longer than he wanted. He caught a flash of blonde hair out of the corner of his eye and looked across the restaurant.
Diane.
He could swear she trembled as she stared at him. When he smiled, she pasted on a cheery grin and approached their table. She wore a tight pink T-shirt and low-cut jeans, his favorite look.
Nudging Joleen away from him, he said, “Diane! How nice to see you.”
Joleen gasped. “I’m sorry,” she mouthed.
“Forget about it,” he whispered.
He slid over and made room for Diane to sit next to him on the bench.
Diane nodded at Joleen. “Hey.”
He pointed at the open spot on the bench.
“That’s okay. I think I’ll sit over here.”
He tried not to show his disappointment, but he had to look away and bite his tongue so he wouldn’t embarrass himself and say something stupid.
“Is Leanne here yet?” Diane looked around. “I haven’t seen her, and it’s ten after six.”
Dave checked his watch. “Right you are.”
He turned to Joleen, “How long should we wait for her before we can cancel the visit and go home?”
“Oh, I’d say by six-thirty if she’s a no-show. Wouldn’t you agree, Diane?”
Diane nodded. “Sounds fine to me.”
A bloodcurdling scream caused all of their heads to turn. Dave jumped up. He knew Joey’s cry and ran to the ball pit. Inside he found Joey pinning himself against the netting in the back of the pit.
Leanne faced Joey with her arms open wide. “Come here, Joey.” Her voice cracked. “I won’t hurt you, I promise.”
Dave stole a glance at Leanne and noted her distress. “Joey, calm down. I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”
Joey quieted instantly. His eyes darted between Leanne and Dave as if he considered making a run for it, but worried about getting intercepted along the way.
Dave scowled. “Why didn’t you come through the front door?”
Leanne nodded toward the side door. “I wanted to see Joey alone so I came in that way.”
She trembled. The fearful look in her eyes made him wonder what she had planned and if she’d just gotten caught.
“You should have let us know you were here.”
She nodded and avoided eye contact. “I know. I’m sorry.”
Her contrite attitude took him by surprise. He softened his tone.
“He wouldn’t have acted that way if you hadn’t sprung on him like that. You just need to give him time to get used to you.”
“I know.” She sighed. “My counselor said that getting angry about everything was only hurting me. She said I needed to get to know you so I could make the best decision for Joey and not just go for what I want to see happen.”
Joey toddled over and fell into Dave’s arms. He clung to Dave and stared at Leanne as if she were a monster in a horror movie.
Leanne cast her face down, looking dejected. “I was hoping he’d want to see me.” She glanced up, and her eyes clouded. “Why doesn’t he want me?”
“It’s just that he doesn’t know you. Don’t take it personally. He’s a sensitive child and anything new or different terrifies him if he’s not eased into it.”
Her head tipped up. “Will he always be terrified of me?”
“I don’t know. Let’s get something to eat together and see what happens. Okay?”
She glanced at Joey, staring at him wistfully. “Okay.”
“You ready for a Happy Meal, Joey?” Dave tried to sound excited.
Joey nodded, still clinging fiercely to Dave.
As he headed for the table where the attorneys sat, Leanne stopped and looked up at him. “Mr. Passel?”
“Please call me Dave. Mr. Passel makes me feel old.”
“Okay. Well, I . . . uh . . . I just want to say . . . ”
Dave inclined his head and touched her arm to encourage her to finish.
“I want to say, um, that I can tell he . . . he really loves you,” she whispered.
Dave’s throat tickled and his eyes watered. He looked her straight in the eyes.
“Thanks for saying that. I really love him too.”
Diane’s throat swelled with emotion when she thought about losing Dave. But she wanted what was best for him. Clearing her throat before she lost her courage, she offered Joleen a tense smile. She looked gorgeous in her black pantsuit.
“How’s it going?”
For once Joleen didn’t look at Diane with hostility. “I’m all right.”
“I saw you talking with Dave. He’s a really good man.”
Joleen raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, he is. What’s your point?”
“Well, I’ve been praying that he’d take an interest in you.”
She chuckled. “Re-ally?”
“Yes. Joey needs a mother, and if things don’t work out with Leanne, well, you have a history with Dave. I think you could make him happy.”
Joleen responded with something between a snort and a chortle. “I guess your God isn’t listening.”
Diane frowned. “What do you mean?”
Joleen cocked her head. “Just what I said. Dave couldn’t care less about me. We’re barely friends, and I’m afraid that’s all we’ll ever be.”
“But I thought you liked him.”
“I did. Still do.”
“Then I don’t get it.”
Joleen offered a sly smile. “You saw him hugging me when you walked in?”
Diane nodded.
“It was no biggie. We just made an agreement. I told him I would stop hitting on him, and he was so relieved that he gave me a hug.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Nope. Serious as a heart attack.”
“Gosh, that’s too bad. I’m sorry.”
“What’s to be sorry for? Now you have no more competition. If you want him, then he’s all yours.”
“But I thought you hated me.”
“Nah. I was just trying to get him back. It didn’t work. I’m tough. I’ll move on.”
“Wow, just like that?”
“Yes. I’m not stupid. Plenty of men would take me if I wanted them. I’m not wasting any more time on Dave.” She flicked her wrist. “He’s not going to change his mind.”
“Did he tell you that?”
“Pretty much.” She nodded toward Dave. “Like I said, he’s all yours.”
“Oh, I can’t, really. I’m not ready to get involved in a serious relationship.”
“Oh, puh-leeeze.” Joleen rolled her eyes. “I see the way you look at each other. Put yourself out of your misery, will you? He wants to love on you. It’s obvious.”
“Oh, I don’t know—”
“Come on. You told me he’s a good man. What more could you ask for?”
Diane’s throat tightened. She swallowed hard and looked over at Dave, who held Joey close. He tipped his head down as if he were having a serious conversation with Leanne.
Joey shot a glance her way and howled, “Mommy!” He kicked his legs and bounced on Dave’s hip. “Down, Daddy.”
Joleen patted her on the arm and whispered, “See. Joey loves you too.”
Diane choked on a sob. She held out her arms and Joey ran into her embrace.
“You come. Daddy and me pwayed you come.”
Joey squeezed her tight and expelled a satisfied sigh as he burrowed his head into her stomach. Diane rubbed the soft baby hair on his head, and her vision blurred with more tears.
Joleen handed her a tissue from her purse. “Sheesh, you’re making me cry.”
Diane chuckled and dabbed her tears. “Thanks.” She looked over at Dave and could swear his eyes shimmered.
“Joey’s a happy little camper,” he said. “He’s talked about you every day.”
Leanne approached and smiled shyly at Diane. “Hi.”
Diane offered a tentative smile. The change from the Leanne she remembered from court was nothing short of miraculous.
“Hi.”
“I can see Joey really likes you.” Leanne’s voice wavered. “That’s great.”
Diane kissed the top of Joey’s head. “Give him time, Leanne. He’ll feel comfortable around you eventually.”
Leanne stuffed her hands in her pockets and shook her head. “No, that’s okay. I’ve talked with my counselor, and I’ve thought about this a lot. I can’t do this to him anymore—or to me. If I’m going to stay clean and sober, I can’t keep getting stressed out. It makes me want to use.”
Diane glanced over at Dave, then back at Leanne.
She shrugged. “I told myself on my way over here that if he was still afraid of me, then this would be my last visit.”
Joey pulled his face from Diane’s stomach and peered up at Leanne.
Her voice quivered as she gazed at Joey. “I don’t want to upset him anymore.” Several tears rolled down her cheeks, and her chin trembled. “From what I can tell, he loves you too. I just want him to be happy.”
The lump in Diane’s throat grew. More tears spilled. Joleen handed Leanne a tissue.
“Thank you.” She blew her nose.
An awkward silence ensued for several moments. No one seemed to know what to say, so they stood quietly, stealing glances at each other until Leanne finally broke the silence.
She squatted on the floor and scooted closer to Joey so she could look at him on his level. He stiffened and pressed his face into Diane’s shirt again.
“It’s okay, Joey. I just have a little question. Can you help me?”
Joey threw her a wary, sideways glance.
“Do you want Dave to always be your Daddy?”
Joey’s brow crunched. “Daddy is.”
Leanne chuckled. “Yeah, I suppose that’s true, since you don’t know anyone else. And do you want this lady,” she pointed at Diane, “to be your Mommy forever?”
Joey peered into Diane’s eyes and grinned from ear to ear. “She my Mommy. She pwetty and soft. Mommy yuvs me.”
Diane smiled and kissed his head. “That’s right. I love you.”
“That’s what I needed to hear. I’ll call my attorney so he can draw up the papers.”
The air rushed from Diane’s lungs. “What papers?”
Leanne glanced at Dave. “I’m going to sign relinquishments as soon as I can. Joey needs to be happy and secure.”
She heard a choking sound. Dave’s face contorted as he struggled to hold back tears. He rubbed his face and took a deep breath.
“Thank you, Leanne. You don’t know how much this means to me.”
Leanne smiled weakly and nodded her head. “I think I have an idea.”
“Would you like me to keep your address so I can send you pictures of Joey every year?”
Leanne smiled and caught Dave’s gaze. “That would be great.”
Diane asked the question she figured everyone probably had on their minds but no one had the guts to ask. “Are you r
eally sure this is what you want? If you relinquish your rights, you can’t take them back. It’s permanent.”
Leanne nodded. “I’m positive. I want Dave to be Joey’s dad. I can’t put him or me through any more visits. We can’t handle it.”
“What made you change your mind?” Diane caught a flash of pain in Leanne’s eyes.
“At first I thought I would try to get Joey to like me because I was adopted. My adoptive family wasn’t so kind to me.”
Dave said softly, “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, well, I ran away from home when I was fifteen because my stepdad wouldn’t leave me alone at night.” Leanne took a deep breath, and released it. “At first I thought I was saving Joey by trying to get him back.” She shook her head. “But I was wrong.”
Diane glanced at Dave, who offered a sad smile. He understood.
“The more I’ve gotten to know Dave, the more I’ve realized that there are good people in the world.” Leanne smiled through tears. “There are people who really love their children and don’t abuse them. I just wanted to make sure Joey has a good life.”
“I’m happy you see it that way.”
“I’m really not such a horrible person once you get to know me.”
Diane pulled Joey into her arms and stood. “No one thinks you’re horrible, Leanne. I think what you’re doing is very brave and the most loving thing you could ever do for Joey.”
Diane gave Leanne a hug, sandwiching Joey between them. “That happened to me too, you know,” she whispered. “I understand.”
Joey squirmed in her arms. “ ’Top it, Mommy.”
Diane laughed and stepped away from Leanne. She wiped the tears from her cheeks.
Leanne smiled at Joey, then her face crumpled into tears. “Can I just give my little boy one teeny weeny hug? I’d really like that.”
Joey looked at Dave for reassurance, and he nodded. “It’s okay, son.”
Joey released a ragged sigh as Leanne pulled him into her arms and held him close. “I love you, Joey. I’ll always love you.”
Joey’s eyes bulged, and he seemed terrified, but he didn’t scream. Diane was proud of him and told him so when Leanne released him back into her arms.
Leanne’s lower lip’s trembled. “Thank you, Joey. Mommy needed that.”
Again Joey glanced at Dave, obviously confused.
“Leanne’s your other Mommy,” Dave explained, “the one whose tummy you came from.”
Letting Go (Healing Hearts) Page 24