by Lolah Lace
“Yeah I am.” He was listening in.
“What are you going to see?”
“I don’t know. I’m going to let him pick.”
“The Rock has a movie out.” He suggested.
“Oh maybe that, what are you going to do tonight?” I wanted to know he wasn’t upset.
“Probably go out to get something to eat.” He glanced over at me and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.
Okay out to eat. Did he mean something nasty by that? I can’t tell. My mind was thinking dirty. I’m sure it was because of what happened between us.
“Are you going by yourself?”
“No, I texted Marcie.”
“Marcie?”
“She works upstairs on the eleventh floor. She said she would go.”
Marcie was in a different department than us. She had a thing for Logan. A few old and plain looking pale women at the office did. I could tell because they all hated me for being so close to him. They never spoke to me, which was odd. I treated Logan like a brother and he treated me the same. I was never their competition. Truth be told I wasn’t even for sure he was straight until last night. He ate my pussy like he loved pussy. So as far as I was concerned he was into girls.
“I thought you didn’t like her,” I recalled something he said about her. What he said escaped me because it didn’t seem important at the time.
“I didn’t really give her a chance. She seems nice.” I watched as his lips pressed together, the same lips that had tasted my sweetness. Is he going to go down on Marcie? If I weren’t such a chicken shit I would ask. It’s none of my business.
“I think she’s cute,” I added just so I wouldn’t seem like a bitch.
“She’s okay. She has a nice rack.”
I laughed out loud. “Well, if you’re into huge tits.” I realized I had no idea what Logan was into sexually. We never discussed it. All our conversations centered on my stupid relationship problems and me. I leaned toward him not being gay before he performed oral sex on me last night. He had hidden playboy magazines in his apartment. They were stashed in a basket in his bedroom closet. I found them when I went into his bedroom looking for a sweatshirt to wear to the movies. I always got cold at the movies. Logan was okay with seeing chick flicks. Darius flat out refused. I can’t lose Logan to big tit Marcie. He was my closest bestie because he’s close, in the same apartment building close.
I was sort of a terrible friend to Logan. If he wanted to go out with big titty Marcie, he should. I did share how big Darius’ dick was and he didn’t flinch. If he gets laid I guess I can hear about it. I mean I tell him practically everything.
“Are you going to tell me about your date tomorrow?”
“I don’t know. Do you want to hear about it?”
“Yeah, I do.” Because I’m nosy as hell.
“Well, I will tell you.” He replied like it wasn’t a big deal. It was a big deal to me. I didn’t know a sexual side to Logan. I’ve never seen him stare at my ass or my tits. He didn’t seem attracted to me but he was in between my thighs last night.
Crunching and munching.
He seemed to want to be there.
CHAPTER 7
Two weeks had passed and there was no mention of anything that had transpired between Logan and me. Everything was back to normal. We carpooled. We hung out. We even had innocent sleepovers. Innocent meaning my panties stayed on my body and his tongue stayed in his mouth.
I didn’t have the guts to ask Logan about Marcie. He didn’t volunteer any information and I know he came home that night after his date with her. I got home after him and I saw his car parked in the lot. Two weeks later and I didn’t say anything and he didn’t either. I wasn’t even sure if he was still seeing Marcie. There were a few things we didn’t discuss and Marcie from the eleventh floor was one of them.
We went to work and came home but the drama was always following me. I was home alone after work. I was rocked hard again with news that I should have seen coming. But apparently my name was Stevie Wonder because I didn’t see a damn thing.
Tonight I needed Logan. My entire world was topsy-turvy. My hands shook as I dialed his number. I needed my friend.
“Chey-Town.” Logan was a cornball when he answered his cell. He started calling me Chey-Town. I guess it sounded good to him. It sounded lame to me and all other humans.
“Logan, I need you to come over here right now.” My voice quaked trying to push all the words out without breaking down into tears.
“Hey what’s wrong?”
“Come here now.” I held back the tears. If I started crying now I might never recover.
“Okay. I’m coming right now.” He was off the phone.
I unlocked my front door and went into the bathroom to try and wipe away the few tears that had managed to leak from the corners of my eyes.
Logan was in my apartment within minutes. I heard my front door open and close.
“Cheyenne!” He called out to me as I left the bathroom. I ran right into him in the hallway. “What?” He wrapped his arms around me like he instinctively knew I needed a hug. He held me for a while before pulling away to look down at me. He seemed taller today. “Chey.”
“I— I.” Shit, where do I begin?
“What did Darius do?”
“I, I,” was tongue-tied.
Logan grabbed my wrist and pulled me into my bedroom. He nudged me to sit on the edge of the bed. He knelt down in front of me.
“Talk to me. What happened?”
What didn’t happen in this ghetto ass situation? I took a deep breath. “A girl called my cell phone.” More like some raggedy ass bitch.
“A girl?”
“Yeah, she said she was seeing Darius.”
“Okay.” He stopped talking because he knew there was more.
“She said she was pregnant with his baby.” I had to inhale. “Six fucking months pregnant.”
“What?”
“She had proof. She had pictures of him, pictures of them together. She unlocked his phone. She went through it and found my number, and my texts and pictures of me.”
“I’m sorry this happened.”
“I’m so fucking stupid. There’s a baby. He got her pregnant when we were still together the first time. This was before we broke up the first time.”
“Is it that same girl?”
“No, this is another bitch.”
“Are you going to be okay?”
“Do I have a choice?” I wasn’t trying to sound rude. His questions were legitimate. I was just a wreck.
“Yeah, I knew we were going to break up eventually but—”
“It’s still a loss.”
“I just feel bad because I feel bad, like inside. The tears are because I’m so mad. I’m so fucking stupid.”
“That’s a normal reaction.”
“Logan, I’m mad at myself for being such a gullible idiot.”
“You’re not a gullible idiot. You’re supposed to trust your boyfriend. He lied to you. Chey, you’re not a lie detector.”
No, I wasn’t. “I’m so done with him.”
“I sure hope so.” My eyes shot down to Logan. He had an opinion and clearly he felt some kind of way. “You deserve better. You’re pretty. You’re smart, and you’re such a good person. You know you deserve better and can do better than Darius. It’s time to let him go. You can have anybody you want.”
“Is it time?” I’m not sure why I asked what was obvious.
“Your relationship is dead. You know that.” He rubbed my hands in his.
“It’s been dead.”
“You can bounce back. This is just a side note in your life. You don’t need a liar, a cheater or an untrustworthy guy in your life.”
“No, I don’t.” Damn Logan was preaching tonight. “I already broke up with Darius on a text message. I don’t want to see his face or hear his voice ever again.”
“And you don’t have too. You don’t owe him and explanati
on or a conversation.”
“No, I don’t.”
“We can order pizza, watch movies and drink too much.”
“Yeah, that’s what I want to do.”
“Cool, I’ll order the pizza.” He leaped to his feet. “Do you want hot wings?”
“Of course.” Hot wings had replaced ice cream on the list of breakup blues food.
“Thought so. You can peruse Netflix for a nice horror movie.”
Logan knew exactly what I liked. “No romance, no dramas, no comedies because shit ain’t funny right now.”
“And for the next three to six months.” He added.
“Okay promise me.”
“Whatever you want.” He removed his cell phone from his pocket. He began to dial and walked out the room to order the food. The food I never pay for. I should start paying half. It’s only fair. I don’t think Logan will take my money. He’s too much of a gentleman.
I’m not sure how it happened but we ended up eating and watching the movie in my bedroom, under the covers.
I fell asleep and there was no sex oral or otherwise. Logan was sleeping behind me. We were spooning. I could feel him breathing into my hair. His arms were wrapped around my body and holding me tight. I needed this snuggle. I needed to feel this sense of comfort and safety.
I wished I could find an African American version of Logan. I sexy chocolate version— but thinner— with better fashion sense— and swag and nicer kicks— regular haircuts and expensive cologne.
Maybe one day. I feel asleep wrapped in the comfort of Logan’s innocent arms. I knew something was amiss as soon as a felt Logan’s hand inside my bikini panties. This time, I was still wearing them. His body was still pressed into my back and butt as I lay there on my side.
My eyes opened because I knew he wouldn’t be able to see me. He massaged my hot box like he had become fairly familiar with it. I knew I should grab his hand and protest and stop what was happening but I just couldn’t. It felt too good. I was okay with just pretending that I was asleep and this wasn’t happening. Maybe he got off on sneaking. I didn’t know. I didn’t care. I knew what the outcome would be and I wanted to come.
Honestly, I had to admit it felt more than just good. He knew how to take me to my peak. That was clear. He took his time. He strummed me like a professional guitarist. I was instantly moist. My juices had seeped into his fingers. There was an easy smoothness as his fingertips glided over my folds. Back and forth and in delicate circles that made me bite my bottom lip. Plunging one finger inside me, then two made me yearn for more. My insides hummed with pleasure. My panties held his hand so warm snug against my pussy. Holding in my moans become harder to do.
He fondled my breasts with one hand and penetrated my drenched pussy with the other. My body bucked against his fingers and hand. Was he going to make me come again? Oh yes, he was. My hands were balled into fists. I squeezed my legs tightly together and held his hand snugly in and on my pussy. I needed the friction on my clit and his thick fingers inside me to make me explode. I reminisced on his tongue licking my clit and I came all over his hand. I quivered as my orgasms lingered for a few seconds.
Logan slowly removed his hand from my panties. His arms hit the mattress. He laid there motionless and quiet. So did I. I could hear his shallow breathing. He knew how to make me feel better. I was tired. I closed my eyes and drifted off into darkness.
CHAPTER 8
I had some juicy salacious news to share. The hot information was burning me up inside. I showed my face at Sheba’s apartment. What I had to say to her was to intimate for a restaurant. Sheba had a big mouth to match her big personality.
I finally got around to telling Sheba my final breakup sob story. I told her about the other woman that was with child. She didn’t say I told you so but I’m sure she was thinking it. She offered to take me over to Darius’ apartment and help me beat him with an aluminum baseball bat. Everything in me said crack his thick skull. I was trying to be the opposite of an angry Black woman. I told her I was straight. I told her I was so over him. My feelings for Darius had been dying a slow death since we tried to make a go of it the second time around.
I can’t say it didn’t hurt. Being lied to never felt good. I sure can pick the wrong guy.
I told her I blocked Darius from my cell and all my social media accounts. His ass was grass. This time, I knew I meant it. I didn’t care what he had to say and I wasn’t ever going to deal with any baby mama drama at this age. There were still a few guys out there without children and those were the ones I was interested in. I wasn’t in any hurry to be a damn stepmother. I’m not just saying step-motherhood wasn’t going to happen. I was just saying it’s not happening for me, today or anytime soon.
Sheba walked over to her leather couch and handed me a cup of tea. She was a tea drinker now.
“I’m glad you’re single again. You’re fun when you are out on the prowl.”
“First off chick, I’m never out on the prowl and I think I need some time by myself without a boyfriend.”
“Well, I think that’s a good idea. Darius is a damn dirty dog.” Sheba inserted her butt next to me on the couch.
“I want to have sex with random guys.” I wasn’t sure why I said that. I think I was ready to dress in my I-don’t-give-a-fuck-amour. I would only take it off to put on my I-got-zero-fucks-to-give-Kevlar vest.
She laughed at me. It was hearty and somewhat obnoxious. “Girl bye. That will never happen. You are a relationship type chick. You don’t have one-night stands and you don’t have sex with strangers. You are a goody two shoes and there’s nothing wrong with that.”
“I’m not a goody two shoes.” I was basing that on the fact I let my coworker eat my pussy.
“Yeah you are.”
“No, I’m not.”
“How many dicks have you sucked?”
“Two.”
“In high school or real life?” She giggled. “That’s what I thought. Two.” She laughed again.
“I cheated on Darius while we were still together.” I blurted it out because I was sure my admission would get her undivided attention.
“No, you didn’t.” She sipped her tea. She didn’t believe me.
“I did. Why would I lie?”
Sheba smacked her lips. “You cheated on Darius? With who?” Her eyes rolled and her eye rolls would put Rihanna to shame.
“Logan.”
“Logan.” She scoffed. “From your job?”
“Yeah, we didn’t have full blown intercourse. He just went down on me.”
Her forehead wrinkled. “Logan?”
“Yeah, Logan.”
“Logan ate your stuck up pussy?”
Stuck up. I know she ain’t talking shit. “Yeah, the first time I was—”
“The first time?” Her eyes grew wide. “You, you, you, fucking slut.”
Me a slut? “Whatever.” Why did I wear that word with honor for about two seconds? “The first time I was asleep. I woke up and he had removed my little panties and spread my legs. His face was in there like for real, for real.”
“Oh hell naw, and you didn’t tell me. I thought we was homies.”
“I was embarrassed. How do you say that?”
Sheba pursed her lips. “Like you’re saying it now.”
I snorted. “He acted like it never happened. So I acted like it never happened.”
“But it happened and you a mess for not saying nothing to me.”
“Fine, I’m a mess.” Why was I so proud of this inappropriate encounter?
“How was it?” She was so into this conversation. Finally, I wasn’t boring.
“Good.”
“Good?”
“So, so, good. The best I’ve ever had before. He’s not an amateur. He knows exactly what he’s doing. I came.”
“Huh, that’s surprising. He seems so boring. I can’t imagine him being anything other than boring in bed.”
“In bed, I don’t know. He’s not boring with o
ral. His tongue action is the bomb dot com.”
“Huh, are you going to ride the D?”
“No, never. I don’t know. We’re just friends.”
“Uh, I don’t think I let my friends eat me out. I don’t know about you but that’s just how I roll.”
“I don’t know what’s going on between us. He’s Logan. He’s strange and awkward.”
“Yeah, he’s Logan. Can you see yourself in a relationship with him?”
I pressed my lips together and let her question sink in my brain. “No, he’s not my type. He’s too, I don’t know.”
“Soft, safe, predictable.”
“Well, he’s not hard, dangerous or spontaneous. I know I sound very shallow but I like toned bodies. Logan is so— fluffy.”
“Logan only has a few extra pounds. He’s not a big blob. He’s tall.”
That’s all she had in the way of compliments. I wondered why she was trying to make a case for Logan. I know she wouldn’t date him but she’s trying to push him off on me.
Logan was a six on a good day and I was attracted to eight’s and up. Besides, there was absolutely nothing sexy about Logan. Nothing meaning zero, zilch, nada. I couldn’t even imagine kissing him. His lips were just lips. He was just so unapologetically average.
He dressed so plain. He looked so plain. He didn’t even gel his hair like the rest of the White men at work. I couldn’t even see us together. He never acknowledged the oral sex so that was weird. I valued our friendship and I didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize that. Logan was a good guy and I was looking for a bad boy that was loyal. Basically a unicorn. These hoes ain’t loyal.
“I like tall guys. Logan is only six-one.” Or at least that’s what he told me.
“That’s tall.”
“No, not really. I like really tall guys. Darius was six-five.”
“You are being ridiculous. I can’t with you right now. Logan must like you. He’s always hanging around you. He clearly wants to hit it. You have a long list of stupid reasons not to give him a chance.”
How did she know about my list? “I don’t want to fuck him plain and simple. He’s not sexy. He has no swag. He’s sweet and I’m sorry but I’m not settling for something I don’t want. I’ve done that before and never again. This is my pussy and I can give it to whoever I want to.”