* * *
Later they lay together in sleeping bags, staring up at a starlit sky.
"Incredible," Faith murmured.
"I didn't think I was that good."
She poked him in the ribs. "I was talking about the sky. Have you ever seen so many stars?"
"Never."
She turned over on her side so she could study his face, his handsome, strong, courageous face. She'd seen so many sides to Alex. He was so much more complex than she'd ever imagined, vulnerable yet confident, insecure but arrogant, kind and compassionate but still a cynic, generous with his money and his help but not with his heart.
"Alex?" she murmured.
He turned his head. "What?"
"I want to tell you something. It doesn't require a reply or a comment or anything. It's just something I want to say." She paused and took a deep breath. "I love you. That's it. I just wanted you to know how I felt."
She waited hopelessly. She'd told him not to reply and yet...
He put his hand on the back of her neck and pulled her face toward his. He kissed her long and hard, his lips and tongue demanding access to her mouth. It wasn't exactly the answer she'd wanted, but she took it.
He rolled on top of her, nuzzling her collarbone, trailing kisses down to the valley of her breasts, sucking each nipple into a tiny hard point that drew fire down to her thighs. He worked his way down her body, loving her, cherishing her as if every part of her was incredibly precious.
Faith's need grew stronger with each touch of his lips on her body until she was crying out for him to join her. She needed to feel him again, within her body, her heart, and her soul.
"Now, Alex, please."
He came to her with love, unspoken, but as true as the earth and the sun and the moon and the stars. She'd never known such longing or such satisfaction. And when it was done, she slept dreamlessly. For there was no need for dreams.
* * *
The next morning the sun came up bright and startling. A new day. A new forever.
Faith gave a lazy stretch. She had aches in all the right places, but she couldn't help smiling. They'd done what they'd set out to do, reunited the spirits and broken the curse. She frowned, realizing something wasn't quite right. She was alone in the sleeping bag.
She sat up, holding the bag to her bare breasts. Alex was already dressed and sitting with his back to her several yards away. He was sipping some bottled water and staring out at the view.
The sight of him so far away, so distant, smashed her happiness into tiny little bits. He probably would have left her in the night if they hadn't been so far from civilization, she told herself grimly. After all, the man could not stay with a woman until morning, not after he'd made love to her at any rate. The only day they'd awoken together was the night they'd slept in each other's arms in Alex's living room. Apparently he'd felt more comfortable with a night spent in less intimate occupation.
She dug around in the sleeping bag for her clothes and put them on. Alex didn't even move. She didn't know if he couldn't hear her or if he was ignoring her.
It didn't matter, because she was suddenly angry. Damn him for drawing away from her again. She thought she'd broken down the barriers, but this morning they were back in place, and she was tired of chipping away at an impenetrable wall. He was probably scared now because she'd told him she loved him.
Faith stumbled to her feet, and Alex finally turned around. He smiled at her, then realized something was wrong, his smile evaporating like the morning mist under the hot sun.
"What?" he asked warily. "Don't tell me you're not a morning person."
"Are you ready to go?"
"We have time."
"Not as far as I'm concerned." She rolled up her sleeping bag and stuffed it into her pack.
Alex came over to her, watching, waiting. "Do you want to tell me what's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Oh, right. Like I believe that."
She sat back on her heels and looked up at him. "You couldn't stay with me all night. After everything we've been through, everything we've shared, you're still afraid to wake up with me."
"Faith, I'm right here."
"Because you wouldn't leave me alone on this cliff, but you got dressed and put that old wall up around your heart just as soon as you could."
"I woke up early. I couldn't go back to sleep, so I thought I'd get up. That's it. I wasn't trying to get away from you."
"Sure, whatever you say." She stood up and put the backpack over her shoulders.
"Don't you want something to eat, to drink?"
"I'm not hungry. I just want to go home."
Alex stared at her, his own lips drawing into a taut line. "Fine, you want to go home, we'll go home."
"Fine."
* * *
They didn't speak on their way back down the path. They paused for a moment at the place where they'd gone into the cave, then continued on without a word. Faith didn't feel like talking. She just wanted to go home and lick her wounds in private. She'd given Alex her heart and he'd thrown it right back at her. When would she ever learn?
They returned to the Jeep several hours later, hot, tired, and angry. Faith's bad mood had apparently rubbed off on Alex, who seemed no more inclined to speak to her than she was to speak to him. Fortunately, Jimmy's friend was waiting for them, and unlike Jimmy, he seemed content to drive them back to Flagstaff in silence.
They arrived at Suzannah's house by late afternoon to find Julian, Suzannah, and Jessie waiting eagerly for their report. Faith just wanted to lie down, but she knew that wouldn't be fair to Julian or to Suzannah. She could see the strain in their eyes, the tension written in the lines around their mouths.
"We put the pot back," she said simply. "It's done."
Suzannah let out a long sigh of relief. Julian's eyes glittered with unshed tears.
"You broke the curse," Julian said. "Thank God." He walked over to Alex and gave him a hug. "I'm proud of you, Alex. You're a good man and now you can be happy."
Alex didn't look happy. He looked annoyed. "Well, at least you can get on with your life now, Grandfather. And without any more curses to blame your bad luck on."
"I don't intend to have any more bad luck."
"Did you see any ghosts or skeletons?" Jessie asked, her eyes wide and eager.
"Not a one," Faith replied. "But I know what happened now between the lovers. I'll tell you all the whole story as soon as I have a chance to catch my breath. Right now I'd love a hot shower and maybe a nap."
"Of course," Suzannah said. "You and Alex must be tired. You can rest here if you like."
"But first..." Julian began, looking from Alex to Faith. "There's something you should know."
Faith tensed. "Please don't tell me there's more to this curse."
"Suzannah and I are going to be married. Now that the curse is broken, I can finally be with the love of my life."
Alex's mouth dropped open. "Isn't this a little sudden? You've only been together two days."
"I don't want to waste any more time, Alex. When you get to be my age, you'll understand that time is precious and spending that time with someone you love is the ultimate happiness." Julian smiled at Suzannah as he took her hand in his. "Tomorrow we plan to fly to Las Vegas to be married. We'd like you and Faith and Jessie to come and stand up with us."
"Wow," Faith muttered. She didn't know what to say, although she had to admit that Julian and Suzannah looked incredibly happy. "Are you sure?"
"It's so fast," Alex said. "You should get to know each other again, at least give yourselves a week, two weeks, maybe a month."
"We know each other," Suzannah said confidently. "We've had a lifetime to think about what we had together."
" 'Two souls with but a single thought. Two hearts that beat as one,' " Julian quoted. "That is the way we feel about each other."
Alex sighed. "Right. You always have the last line, don't you?"
"Not quite the last," Fait
h said. "Congratulations, Julian, Suzannah. I hope you'll be very happy. And I think you're right -- you were meant to be together, just as the other two were meant to be together."
"And you and Alex?" Julian said hopefully.
Faith turned to see Alex slipping out of the room. "Two out of three isn't bad."
"I'm sorry. The boy doesn't know what he has."
"He knows. He just doesn't want it. He doesn't want me."
Chapter Twenty-Nine
They arrived in San Francisco late Wednesday afternoon after a quick stop in Vegas to watch Julian and Suzannah get married. After a brief honeymoon, Julian and Suzannah planned to return to Arizona to live.
It was cold and gray in San Francisco, a far cry from the hot desert sun. And there were no awe-inspiring peaks, just buildings, traffic, and reality.
The cab pulled up in front of Alex's building a little after four o'clock. Alex had suggested Faith drop off her bags at his apartment, then go down the street and check on her bakery. Later he'd drive her home.
She wasn't particularly looking forward to later. They hadn't spoken any private words to each other since they'd left the canyon, but she knew the words were coming, and she had a feeling they would not be "I love you" but more along the lines of "It's been fun."
Faith was trying to mentally prepare herself for that moment, but wasn't having much luck. Every time she told herself that Alex could not commit to anyone, that he couldn't love a woman forever, she'd remember their night under the stars. She'd felt his love then. Why hadn't it lasted until the morning?
She let out another sigh, drawing Alex's attention as he helped her out of the cab.
"Tired?" he asked.
"Yes." She smiled shortly and turned to Jessie. "Do you need help with your bag, honey?"
"I'm okay. Do I have to go to school tomorrow, Alex?"
"It's about time, don't you think?" He ruffled her hair and urged her toward the building. "Let's get this stuff upstairs."
The doorman held open the door for them with a smile. "Good morning, Mr. Carrigan. How was your trip?"
"Successful," Alex replied.
"A gentleman came by for you several times yesterday and again this morning. He said he'd prefer to talk to you here rather than over the phone or at his house. Said it was a private matter. Let's see, his name was..." The doorman pondered for a moment. "Edward Saunders, I believe. I told him I didn't know when you'd be back. He seemed quite anxious to see you, though."
Faith put an arm around Jessie's shoulders as she let out a small, panicked cry. The doorman looked startled as Jessie began to sob.
"Is something wrong?" he asked.
"We're fine. Thank you, George."
"Come on, Jess, let's go upstairs." Alex tried to take her hand, but Jessie pulled it away, her eyes flaming with anger and betrayal.
"Why should I go upstairs when you're just going to send me away? I'll just wait down here for my -- my real father." Jessie barreled her head into Faith's stomach, lacing her arms around Faith's back, and she sobbed as if her heart were breaking in two.
Faith looked at Alex and saw the uncertainty, the fear, the hopelessness. She knew he was going to let Jessie go, just as he wanted to let her go.
"Fight, dammit," she said, shocking him with her words.
"If he's her real father..."
"Then what? You let her go to a man she doesn't know?"
"She didn't know me two weeks ago."
"But she knows you now, and you know her. You love her, even if you can't say the words out loud. I've seen it in your eyes, and I've heard it in your voice, and if you tell me that's not the truth, then you're only lying to yourself. I feel sorry for you, really, really sorry. Because you could have the most incredible family, if you'd only open up your heart."
Alex's fists clenched at his side in silent rage. "Don't you dare feel sorry for me. You don't know what I'm thinking, what I'm feeling."
"Don't I?" She dared him to argue. She wanted him to fight her, Eddie, whoever. At least then he'd be letting out emotion instead of keeping it inside where it could only hurt him.
The door opened, and Alex and Faith turned in accord. A slim man with golden blond hair and an impossibly dark winter tan strode through the door. He stopped when he saw Alex and Faith. He paled when he saw Jessie, when he heard her crying.
"Alex Carrigan?" he asked.
"Yes. You must be Eddie Saunders."
Eddie stopped a few feet away. "I got your message. I came home early."
"Let's go upstairs," Alex suggested.
Jessie cried harder, and the doorman slipped out to the sidewalk, leaving them alone in the lobby.
"Look, if you're going to try and tell me that she's my kid, you can stop right now. Melanie told me I wasn't the father." Eddie shot Jessie a quick look. "Sorry, kid, but that's the truth."
Faith's arms tightened around Jessie. "Come on, honey, let's go upstairs."
"No. I'm never going upstairs again," Jessie said defiantly. "Not with him." She shot Alex a hateful, devastated look.
Alex felt like he'd been stabbed with a long, sharp knife. "Jessie, please."
"Go on. Tell him you're not my real father," she dared Alex. "You've been saying it all along."
"He is your real father," Eddie said. "Melanie told me so."
"Melanie told me you were the father," Alex said. "You were there in the hospital with her."
"Right. Because Melanie wanted a free trip to Hollywood. Oh, I took her there, all right, believing I was the dad, until nine months later when Melanie told me the truth. She said you wouldn't take her to Hollywood. You were more interested in college than her dreams of being an actress."
Alex couldn't breathe. He heard the words, but they didn't make sense. He vaguely remembered Melanie talking on and on about being an actress. But he'd assumed she'd put that dream aside, because they were having a baby, because she was seventeen and he was eighteen and it was all they could do to make enough money for food and a crummy studio apartment, not to mention having to raise a child.
"I figured she went back to you," Eddie continued. "She kept telling me what a great guy you were, how much you loved the baby. One day I said, I bet you wish he was the real father. That's when she said you were, and she left. I never saw her again."
"She didn't come back to me." At least Alex didn't think she had. He'd moved by then. He couldn't stand living in their apartment, remembering all the happy times when he'd imagined having a family, being a father. An unexpected pain ripped through him. He didn't want to feel anything, but it was too much. There were too many emotions to contain, and they began to spill over one after the other, until he thought he was drowning.
And all the while Jessie cried and Faith looked at him as if he were the coldest man on the face of the earth. Didn't she know how much he cared about Jessie? About her? Why did she need him to spell it out for her? Why couldn't she just see the truth in his eyes?
"I'm not the father," Eddie pushed on. "And I don't want kids. If you press this, I'll ask for DNA testing, whatever it takes to prove she's not my child."
Alex felt an overwhelming anger. The truth suddenly became crystal-clear. And he knew exactly what he had to do.
"We won't need DNA testing," Alex said. "You're right. Jessie is not your kid. She's mine. She always has been, and she always will be."
Jessie stopped crying. She looked at Alex with tear-streaked cheeks, a wondrous hope blooming in her eyes. "I -- I am?"
"You are. You most definitely are my daughter."
"Are you sure? This isn't just a joke?"
"Absolutely, positively sure." He took a deep breath. "I love you, Jessie. I guess it's about time I told you that."
Tears dripped down her cheeks as she bit down on her lip. "You mean it?"
"I mean it, Jess. I want you forever. If that's okay with you."
Jessie ran into his arms and he held her tightly against him. His daughter, his child, his family. He would neve
r let her go. Never. He raised his head and saw Faith slip out of the building. He wanted to call after her. He had so much left to say. But this moment belonged to Jessie.
"I love you, too," Jessie said shyly. "I'll try to be a good kid."
"Just be yourself, Jess. That's all I want you to be. Come on, let's go home."
* * *
Faith's Fancies was warm and cozy, smelling like cinnamon and sugar, smelling like home. Faith took a deep breath as she stood inside the front door. This was where she belonged, here with her pastries and her rolls and her friends.
Pam came out of the kitchen, let out a welcome yell, and ran around the counter to give her a hug.
"You're back," she said with a grin. "I've been worried about you, the way you took off to Arizona at the drop of a hat with that gorgeous man and his wacky family. How did it go?"
"It was fine. We did what we needed to do."
Pam's sharp eyes slid over every inch of Faith's face. "Oh, dear."
Faith tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I don't look that bad, do I?"
"You do. I want to hear everything."
"You will, but not today. I need some time."
Pam nodded in understanding. "Ben has been haunting the place the past two days. I told him I didn't know when you'd be back. He seemed pretty upset. I guess his mother told him she kicked you out of the family. Although I'm still not sure why."
"I wasn't willing to marry her son. I don't think Nancy ever really cared about me, or at least she only cared in the sense that I was connected to Gary and then to Ben. A bridge," she said sadly, remembering that Alex had called her that, too. "But no more bridges for me. I'm done with all that."
"Tired of having people drive over you all the time, huh?"
"Yes. How are things going here?"
"Business is good. A little slow today, but not bad. Leslie is turning into quite a good pastry chef, not as good as you, of course, but you don't have to worry about giving her more work."
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