by Lanee Lane
Reed paused and rubbed his hands over his face. I put my arm around his shoulder and pulled him to my side trying to give him strength.
"Abigail took things really hard. Her and our mother had a really great relationship, so when our parents died it was like she lost a mother and her friend. After our aunt passed, Uncle Dwight never remarried or had any girlfriends that I know of. Abby never had a constant female role model after that."
My stomach was in knots. I didn't know where he was going, but I had a feeling that it was yet another tragedy in his already upside down world.
"Abigail really struggled with the loss of our parents. I tried to be there for her and do the things she liked even more than before. I knew I couldn't replace our parents. I just wanted my baby sister to be happy."
His voice got raspy and I could tell that he was trying to keep his emotions at bay. My heart hurt for him.
"She started to grow very distant. By the time we got to high school she'd stopped trying. She was failing all of her classes except for art. That was the one thing she did seem to care about. It made sense because she was an amazing artist. She went against everything my uncle said. She wouldn't even listen to me anymore. She started to hang out with the wrong crowd. Then got involved in some drug usage."
He turned his head away from me and wiped the back of his hand across his eyes.
"It got to the point that she would come home late at night drunk and high. My sweet sister was gone. A shell of her former self took her place.. The only thing that mattered was getting her next fix. One day she came home and said she was moving in with her boyfriend. She packed her bag and I haven't seen her since. I don't even know if she’s alive. That may be the hardest thing of all is simply not knowing if she’s ok."
"Reed, that’s awful. I can't believe all the things you’ve been through. Yet, here you are surviving and thriving. Your strength is awe-inspiring."
"I don't know about that. It took me awhile to get to a place where I could say I was okay."
"It doesn't matter how long it took. The fact that you can say that after everything is a big deal. People go through less and don't cope as well as you have. I have no idea why you were scared to tell me or thought I would judge you."
"I couldn't save my sister. I failed her."
"You didn't fail her. You were only a kid yourself. You tried to be the best brother you could. Sometimes there’s nothing you can do. You can't save someone that doesn't want to be saved, Reed."
He placed his elbows on his knees and let his head drop into his hands. This beautiful man both inside and out lived with the guilt of something that he had no control over. I wanted to take his pain away.
"I want to believe that. Deep down maybe I do, but it doesn't change the fact that I lost my sister. Maybe not in the same way I lost my parents, but in every way that counts."
"What does your uncle say about it all?"
"He feels guilty too. He tells me it wasn't my fault that he was the adult. He thinks he let me and my sister down. I try to tell him that he didn't. He did the best he could. Some people wouldn't even take in their sibling's kids in his situation. He saved us."
I wanted to try to steer the conversation back to lighter ground. I felt like he’d had enough of the emotional stuff for one day.
"Tell me about your uncle."
Reed went on to tell me about stories of his uncle. He told me about cooking mishaps, fishing trips, their first talk about the birds and the bees. He spoke fondly of his uncle. I could tell that he loved his uncle very much. When he was done with the last story, I felt like I knew the man himself.
"He sounds like a great man. I hope I get the chance to meet him one day."
I wasn't sure how Reed felt about us, but I was pretty sure it was more than friends. The more time I spent with him the more invested I became.
"You will. I've told him a little about you and he's looking forward to meeting you soon."
I smiled at him like a fool. He returned mine with one of his own. He had talked to his uncle about me. I couldn't help, but to feel a little giddy.
We walked back to my place hand in hand. When we reached my front door, he turned to face me taking both of my hands in his.
"Penny, I know I dropped a lot of information on you today. I just feel so connected to you. You make me feel like it is okay to open up. It feels so right opening up to you. I don't trust a lot of people."
"I'm honored that you trust me enough to open up to me Reed. I'm here for you whenever you need."
"I appreciate that more than you know Penelope." He squeezed my hands and continued on.
"Penelope, I'd like for you to be my girl."
My eyebrows shot up and my mouth opened. I was temporarily at a loss for words. I liked Reed, a lot, but I hadn't been looking for a relationship. I didn't know who I thought I was kidding beside myself. I knew the day that our eyes first locked that I was a lost cause when it came to this man.
"I'm scared, but I want to try," I said in a whisper.
"So that's a yes?"
"Yes, Reed. That's a yes."
He wrapped his muscular arms around my waist and lifted me in the air. His lips captured mine in a slow and sweet kiss. When he put me down we just smiled at each other like two goofballs.
Pep Talk
"Tell me everything. Don't leave out a single detail!"
A week after Reed and I made things official I sat across from Noel at our favorite lunch spot. It was the first time I’d seen her in person and she was making me rehash everything.
"I told you everything on the phone, crazy."
"Uh, come on, it's different in person. Let me live vicariously through you."
"Fiiine," I sounded whiney, but in reality, I was itching to tell her. "So you know we went to that awful get together at my mom's."
"Yeah, and I still can't believe she invited Alec. That seems low even for her."
"I know! I was shocked. I knew my mother didn't approve of anything about me, but that was just hateful."
"Have you talked to her since?"
"Nope, not a peep. Knowing her, she’s waiting for me to call and apologize. I hope she doesn't hold her breath."
"If I were you I don't even know if I would be able to answer the phone if by some off chance she did try to call first."
"I won't want to, but I have some choice words for her."
"It's about time you stand up to her. Anyway, get to the juicy part."
"Reed shut my mom and Alec down. I’d never seen him angry before. You could tell he was furious, but his tone stayed eerily calm."
"The kind of tone you hear in the bedroom? The kind that commands and takes control? Because honey I sure hope he used that on you that night."
"Jeez Noel, you have a one-track mind!"
"Hey, a girl has needs and I know for a fact that you are long overdue."
"He did end up staying the night, but we didn't do that."
"Why the heck not?"
"Well for one, little miss nympho, I'd just had the shock of a lifetime. Secondly, we weren't even dating."
Noel rolled her eyes so hard I thought the old wives about them getting stuck may really happen.
"Okay, I'll give you the first one, but the second one is baloney. It didn't need to be official for you to know you guys were dating," She made sure to do air quotes around the official. "So be real with me Pen. What's holding you back?"
"Honestly, I'm scared. I'm afraid once he sees all of me that he won't want me or that he’ll get bored with me. Alec threw me to the wayside, but not before he screwed every girl he saw. Also not letting me forget that I was nothing special and I should be thankful he ever wanted to be with me. Reed is ten times the man Alec ever was, so why would he want to stay committed to me? He could have anyone he wants."
I felt that all too familiar sting forming in the back of my eyes. I had grown so much since Alec, but seeing him in my parent's home, the betrayal of my mother made it feel t
oo fresh.
Noel reached for my hand on the table and squeeze it in hers
"Penny Sue, you listen to me," Sue was not my middle name. It was a ridiculous nickname she had given me years ago. "He does have any woman he wants. He has you. The man was smitten from the moment he saw you. If you are honest with yourself you were too. You are just so closed off from love because you are afraid every man is like Alec. Reed is his own man. He sees what a beautiful and capable woman you are. He sees that you are something special. Any man that will stand up to your snooty mama the first time he meets her is worth trying for."
A few tears had begun to trickle down my face. I wiped at my cheeks with a napkin. Noel really was the best friend anyone could ask for.
"Thanks, Noel, I really needed to hear that. I just hope I can believe it."
"I know, and that’s what I am here for. To remind you that you are a catch. Any dude would be lucky to have you. Not the other way around."
After lunch, I headed back to work. The receptionist, Jenny, stopped me when I was walking by her desk.
"Hey, Penelope you received a delivery while you were out."
That was odd I wasn't expecting anything. Jenny went to the small mailroom behind her desk. A few moments later she reappeared. In her arms were a colorful edible arrangement and a card.
"Looks like someone has an admirer," she said as she handed me the gifts.
I grabbed it and thanked her. Then I hurried off to my office to open the card.
Once I was in my office, I closed the door and settled into my desk. I tore the card open like a kid on Christmas.
"It would be my honor if you would accompany me on a hike and picnic this upcoming Saturday."
-Reed
I was smiling to myself like a mad woman. I was going to see him in person tomorrow for our training session. He could have just asked me then, but he went out of his way to make it cute and special. The fact that he was keeping my fitness goals in mind while planning dates was as sweet as the dates themselves.
I immediately pulled out my phone and snapped a selfie with the arrangement. I attached the picture to a text message.
Me: You are so sweet. I would love to go hiking with you.
It was less than a minute before I received a message back.
Reed: What a beautiful sight to see. I only wish it were in person. I'm glad you accept my offer :). I can't wait."
Me: I can't either, but at least I get to see you tomorrow, even if it is to torture me.
Reed: The last thing I want to do is torture you. I must admit I do enjoy seeing you in those workout clothes and helping adjust your form ;)."
That little rascal.
Me: So, what you are saying is that I pay you to ogle my body and feel me up?
I had no idea where this flirty side of me was coming from. I was never this forward and free with men. Maybe I was taking what Noel said and giving this a real try.
Reed: I wouldn't say ogling and feeling up. I'm a professional, Penny. Let's just say there are perks to this particular job with this particular client.
Gah, could the man be any more charming?
Me: I think those perks are mutual.
Reed: You been checking me out, Penny?
Using his own words on him I typed back.
Me: Of course not. I'm a professional. I'm just assessing the quality of my investment.
Reed: Oh, Penny sweetheart, I knew I was in trouble from the moment I laid eyes on you.
Me too, Reed. Me too.
I Want You- Reed
I pulled my car into the driveway of the home that I spent part of my childhood in. The home that reminded me of what I had lost. Not because things were bad there, but because it wasn't the home that we lived in with our parents. It was the home that we lived in as the result of their death.
I knocked on the door before turning the knob and letting myself in. Uncle Dwight was expecting me, and he still considered his home to be mine too. He saw no need for me to wait for him to come to the door.
I made my way to the living room where I knew I would find him. He was sitting in his recliner chair with a root beer and a rerun of Bonanza on the T.V. I knew he had to have seen every episode a hundred times. Heck, I’d seen them a handful of times myself simply from living in the same house.
He turned his head toward me when he heard me enter the room.
"Hey, there's some dinner on the stove if you want some."
"Hey Uncle Dwight," I answered.
I was usually pretty diligent about the things I ate, but I knew if he cooked that he intended for me to eat dinner there. When we were kids, he would do his best to cook us a hot dinner. Since we’d grown up and left, he usually ate frozen meals. The fact that he took the time to cook had me heading to the kitchen to make a plate.
I filled my plate with green beans, baked chicken, and mashed potatoes. I could tell he tried to keep it kind of healthy for me. He was a man of few words, but he showed his love through simple gestures. I headed back to the living room, sat on the couch, and dug into my plate.
"How's it been going at the gym?"
"Good, I've been growing my client base. How's work been for you?"
Uncle Dwight had worked at a factory for over thirty years. I knew that the manual labor was starting to take a toll on his body, but he didn't ever mention retiring. I imagined he would try to work until he drew his last breath.
"Same as always."
I nodded my head in response. No point in probing for more when I knew I wouldn't get it.
"You met any women? You aren't getting any younger you know."
I laughed to myself. I was far from old, but my uncle always asked if I had a "woman". I think he was afraid that I would end up alone.
"Yeah, I have met someone actually."
"What's her name?"
"Penelope, she's one of my clients."
"Mixing business with pleasure."
I let out a huff of a laugh."Something like that."
"Is it serious?"
"I think it's getting there."
"Look, son, I know I don't talk about feelings and all of that often, but I want you to find someone that makes you happy. I know you hardly date because you’re afraid if you let someone in that they’re going to leave. You may not know that's what you’re doing, but it is. Your parent's died in a freak accident. Your sister, well she's a troubled girl. I think the right woman could help you heal."
I thought about Penelope and how I opened up to her so easily. I hadn't opened up to anyone, let alone a woman like that. The story of my parent's and Abigail just poured out of me. She didn't run or judge me when a few tears escaped. She just held me and let me feel. I hadn't been held like that since before my parents died.
"Maybe you're right unc."
"I am, boy. I don't want you to live most of your life alone like I have. If it wasn't for raising you two, I would have been a lonely hermit."
"I was always afraid we were the reason that you didn't have a girlfriend."
My uncle moved his eyes from the T.V. and looked at me. I saw a sadness in eyes that were much like my own.
"You had nothing to do with it. I was happy to raise you two. I just never put myself out there. After my first wife, I didn't much see the point in courting another woman. Now I'm an old man."
Something about his words hit me in the heart. I hated that he had closed himself off. If I was being honest with myself I was headed down the same path just like he said. If I wanted to see where this thing with Penelope could go I was going to have to trust her and trust myself.
I watched another episode of Bonanza before I decided to head home. Right before I walked out of the door Uncle Dwight called out from his chair.
"Bring that girl over here for dinner soon so I can meet her."
A feeling of gratitude filled me. For all intents and purposes, this man was my parent. My second father. I may have lost my biological parents, but I still had a living parent that
cared about me.
"I will."
I pulled out of the driveway and started toward my house. My mind was on the things that Uncle Dwight said to me. The next thing I knew I was outside of Penelope's place. I didn't even realize I was driving there until I was out front. The universe must have drawn me to her.
I hesitated a few minutes debating if I should go knock. I thought about texting her from the car but decided against it. Finally, I got out and walked to her door. If she was busy or didn't want me there, I would leave. I just needed to see her.
I knocked and waited. A few seconds later I heard her unlocking the locks, and there she was.
She was wearing a thin white tank top and boy shorts. She looked sexy as hell. I could see the outline of her breasts through the material and her behind was cupped in the form fitting shorts. If they could even really be called shorts.
"Reed, what are you doing here?" I could hear the concern in her voice.
I stepped closer to her. So close that our bodies were touching. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her into me. She tilted her head up and looked at me and smiled a sweet smile. Just for me.
A feeling of need came over me and I bent down and pressed her lips against mine. My hands slid down to her round behind and squeezed. Her body felt so good against mine. She’d definitely lost some weight since we started her workouts, but her body was still curvy, just the way I liked.
A moan escaped her lips as she ran her hands through my hair. My body was reacting to her soft caresses, and I knew she had to feel it against her. My body was craving hers. Before we went too far, I reluctantly pulled away. I palmed her face in my hand.
"Penn, I needed to see you. Now that I'm here I feel like I need you, but I don't want to move too fast or make you feel pressured. I'll wait for you to be ready."
She looked at me and I saw the same heat I felt reflected in her eyes. She glanced down between our bodies and then slowly drug her gaze back up to meet mine.
"I don't want to wait, Reed. I want you too."