Silence filled the room.
At long last, William said, “So you saddled yourself with a woman whom you thought was your enemy.”
Nicholas didn’t bother to answer.
“Annul the marriage.”
Nicholas didn’t answer that either.
If yesterday had been different.
If William had spoken sooner.
If Nicholas hadn’t followed Elizabeth to her chamber.
If...if...if. The list was endless.
William sat up, leaning on his good elbow. “Hell’s teeth! You bedded her!”
Unable to look at his brother, he remained silent.
“You made love with the enemy?”
“She isn’t the enemy,” Nicholas argued.
“You didn’t know that when you lay with her! Christ, man, where’s your loyalty to me?”
Nicholas closed his eyes. He had nothing to say in his defense.
William chuckled. Then the chuckle grew to laughter until tears ran down his face.
“Trust you to find some sort of humor in this situation. You’re going to make yourself sick,” Nicholas said as he refilled the cup of water and held it out to him. “Drink.”
William sagged back against the pillow, though his grin was still in place. “You are in love with her.”
Water sloshed out of the cup Nicholas held. “What? You’re delirious. That bump to your head addled your brain.”
“You are the delirious one, Nicholas. I have to say, I never thought I’d see the day that you’d trust someone with your visions and...” He paused, examining Nicholas far too closely for his comfort. “Ah...therein lies the truth of the matter. You have not trusted her. Not with your visions or your heart.”
“You need to rest, William. You’ll overtax yourself and have a setback.” Nicholas dearly wanted to hold his hands over his ears so he didn’t have to listen to any more of his brother’s insightful comments. “Take the damned water.”
William complied, sipping as instructed. “Thank you for the damned water.” He held up the cup for Nicholas to take.
“Since you and Elizabeth are such old friends, I shall have someone fetch her so the two of you can be reunited.”
“That would be lovely of you, for I should very much like to see her again.”
Nicholas drew a deep breath to calm himself before he did something rash like throttle his little brother.
“Nicholas.” His quiet voice pulled Nicholas back to his side. “You can do this. Trust her with your secrets.”
Nicholas merely shook his head.
“She is unique. Isn’t the chance at love worth the risk?”
“Nay. I think not.”
“Nicholas – ”
“Rest now, William. I will see you in the morning.” Unable to stand any more, Nicholas left. His brother had no idea what he was speaking about.
Nicholas knew staying away from Elizabeth was the best for everyone involved. Especially Elizabeth.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Elizabeth stared at the distinct handwriting on the parchment a messenger had delivered soon after she’d broken her fast.
Your father is gravely ill.
Robert’s carefully penned missive was quite clear. Fear spread through her, cold and numbing. After all she’d done to protect her father, he couldn’t be sick now. She wanted him to get better, to regain the vitality he’d lost since Gregory’s death. She wanted her father back.
“Is it bad news, Lady Elizabeth?” Walter stood by her side in the great hall, eyes narrowed as he eyed the message warily.
“My father is ailing.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, my lady.”
“Where is Lord de Bremont?” She folded the parchment, her decision made. Her father needed her. Certainly, no one here did.
“I believe he’s with his brother.”
“Thank you, Walter.” She turned toward the stairs.
“But, my lady, I don’t think you’re supposed to
visit – ”
“Aye, I know,” she called over her shoulder as she hurried up the stairs. Trust Walter to remind her to stay away from William. What she needed to tell Nicholas was far more important than worrying if she upset William. She was leaving to visit her father anon. The question was, would she return to Staverton?
No one would be waiting for her to come back. Certainly not Nicholas. William was well on the path to recovery. What was holding her here?
Nothing.
The thought saddened her more than she cared to admit.
*
Nicholas stood in the weaving solar, staring at the drawing on the desk. Elizabeth was at Mass, so he’d been certain the solar would be empty. His curiosity had overcome him. He had to see the tapestry she was designing.
The small drawing was already rich with details. She’d begun to transfer it to a larger one that would serve as her pattern before she started weaving.
The scene depicted two men, one with black hair, the other with brown, wavy hair. He and William were easily recognizable. William’s expression bore a smile, while Nicholas’s was somber. They stood in chain mail, their heads bare to the sun, helms under their arms, swords in hand. The backdrop was Staverton. The portcullis and garrison were in the forefront with the keep in the back. Villagers moved through the bailey, going about their daily business. The smithy’s shop stood on the eastern edge of the bailey, the alemaker’s on the west side. Flowers were in full bloom, and the trees lush with foliage.
The drawing was full of life, a perfect rendition of a successful holding. Each cottage, each structure down to the curtain wall, was recognizable. The drawing could’ve served as a map, its scale was so accurate. The details she’d included filled him with amazement, both for her talent and her observations.
Already she’d begun to choose different colored threads for the elements. A light-hearted scene to celebrate life, but even more than that, to celebrate William’s recovery. A generous gift from Elizabeth’s heart.
Yet the one detail missing in the drawing was her.
With one last glance at it, he left the solar, more unsettled than ever. Mass should be over by now. He had to find her and apologize. What came after that, he didn’t know.
He looked first in their chamber, but found it empty. Hurrying, he donned a fresh tunic. A bit of clothing stuck out from her wooden chest at the foot of the bed, catching his gaze. He wasn’t certain what made him open the chest, perhaps nothing more than the desire to catch her sweet scent. Another sign of weakness on his part.
His heart caught in his throat at what he saw inside. Had lack of sleep made him imagine things? He stared at the bag, packed and ready.
Ready for her to leave.
He’d found more than he’d bargained for this morning. He closed his eyes, unable to believe all the signs – her absence in the tapestry pattern, a packed bag.
She was leaving.
His intention to apologize now seemed a small act that served no purpose, insufficient for all the harm he’d caused. He’d thought he would find the proper words to make her understand, yet how could a few simple words make up for all that had passed between them?
She was innocent. Once again, he’d taken the little information he’d received from one of his visions and acted on it only to discover he’d been wrong. He could hardly grasp the idea that she was everything he’d first thought her to be – beautiful, intelligent, kind, gentle, and tender-hearted. No one could ask for more in a wife than what he already had.
Yet he had nothing.
Nothing, because he’d taken all she had to offer and thrown it away. Disposed of it, trampled on it, tossed aside what she’d given him. He couldn’t gain it back.
He thought of the vision he’d had of her father dying. He dare not trust the image, else he might cause more harm than he already had. His intervention would only make things worse.
The words Lady Margaret had spoken to him in the chapel at Amberley returned
to haunt him. When you realize her innocence, set her free so she can return to us. Unblemished.
Is that what he should do? Set Elizabeth free even though he’d made her his? Even though he now felt incomplete without her?
In his heart, he knew it was the right thing to do. He couldn’t give her more than he already had, and she’d made it clear she wasn’t willing to tolerate less.
He could give her more than an apology.
He could give her freedom and allow her to find someone worthy of her love. That would be so much better than subjecting her to his cursed visions, to the madness that lay within him.
A piercing pain shot straight through him, for he was no longer certain he could live without her.
*
Elizabeth peeked into William’s chamber, hoping to catch Nicholas’s attention so she wouldn’t have to disturb William.
Much to her dismay, Nicholas was nowhere in sight but William was awake, propped up against the pillows in the bed. Despite his illness and obvious weight loss, his upper body was still corded with muscle, marred only by the bandages wrapped around his shoulder.
“Good morn to you, William,” she greeted him. Heart thumping nervously, she paused at the door, prepared to apologize and leave if her appearance distressed him in any way.
“Lady Elizabeth.” The expression of genuine pleasure on his face shocked her after the way he’d questioned her presence the previous day. “You’re as beautiful as I remember.”
“I’m surprised you remember me.” Relief filled her, and she stepped a little farther into the chamber. Perhaps he didn’t hate her after all. She studied him with a critical eye. He was still pale and drawn, his voice gravelly, but he looked better than he had since she’d first seen him.
“How could I forget?”
She smiled, truly thrilled to see him awake and speaking. “How does your shoulder feel?”
“Mistress Mildred checked it earlier and said ’tis healing well enough. I can’t move it much yet, but hopefully that will come soon.” He lifted his elbow, but barely raised it off the bed.
“These things take time. Don’t push yourself too hard. And your head? Still woozy?” She gestured to the side of her own head, referring to his bump.
“Unfortunately. Mildred had me walk to the window and back and that was nearly more than I could manage.” He wrinkled his brow, clearly disappointed by his weakness.
“She suggested you try to do that three or four times each day to build your strength.”
“Anything that involves getting out of this bed is a good thing.” He held out his hand to her. “I can’t thank you enough for all you’ve done for me, my lady.”
His warm, brown eyes caught hers, his sincere gratitude causing a lump to form in her throat. Relief poured through her. Obviously, both she and Nicholas had misinterpreted his question the day before. “You are very welcome.” She squeezed his hand and released it.
“Your care of me during my...stay at Amberley was beyond description. I owe you my life.”
“Nonsense.” She dismissed his gratitude with a wave her hand. “I’m sorry I’m not more adept at healing. I should’ve been able to aid you more and gotten you released sooner.”
“That is not true. You defied your father to help me.”
“My father truly meant you no harm. The death of my brother – ”
“Your father and I were both duped.”
“How so?” Elizabeth found it very odd to hear William putting himself in the same circumstance as her father.
“Just before I entered the lists to joust against your brother, I dismounted to check the cinch on my saddle. Someone struck me on the head from behind. I awoke to find your father yelling at me, my surcoat lying on top of me rather than on me, my head pounding, and my shoulder slashed. Your father took one look at my colors and my wound and assumed I was the guilty one. I’m not sure I would’ve acted differently in his stead.”
Elizabeth gaped at William in astonishment. Though she’d guessed something like this had happened, to hear him confirm it still shocked her. “Someone arranged for you to take the blame for my brother’s death?”
William nodded. “I’ve had a fair amount of time to think on the matter, and I’m convinced of it.”
“But who would do such a thing. And why?” Elizabeth’s mind raced with the possibilities. “No one I know wished my brother ill, but I’ve seen very little of him these last few years.”
“I don’t know.” William rubbed the back of his neck with his good hand. “I’m not sure whoever it was truly intended me to recover from my injuries. In fact, it probably would’ve been more convenient if I hadn’t.”
“You nearly didn’t,” Elizabeth said, her heart dropping at the memory.
William reached for her hand again. “Elizabeth, my brother – he only did what he thought was right at the time.”
Elizabeth’s heart squeezed so hard that she closed her eyes for a moment. “William, he – ”
“Let me finish.” He leaned his head back against the pillows for a moment as though gathering the strength to explain. “There are things you don’t know. Nicholas trusts no one. He assumes the worst of people, but only because he’s been shown the worst so many times.”
Elizabeth waited, hoping he’d clarify his meaning. “I don’t understand.”
William shook his head. “I can’t explain. Nicholas will. At least I hope he will,” he said, murmuring the last part to himself. “I suppose I’m asking that you give him a chance.”
“William, your brother would no more explain himself to me than I could touch a star. He holds me in very poor regard.”
“I’ve told him of all you did for me. Of all the risks you took.”
Elizabeth shook her head, unwilling to even hope. “I fear that will make little difference.” Pain welled within her, and she put her hand to her mouth to stop the sob that nearly escaped.
She would not think of Nicholas or what they could’ve had together. William was regaining his strength and well on the way to recovery. He no longer needed her, and unfortunately, Nicholas never had. Now her father required her attention again. “I’m leaving to visit my father for a time. He’s fallen ill.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. When are you going?”
“At once. I’m pleased I had the opportunity to speak with you before I left.” She squeezed his hand then rose to leave.
“When will you be back?”
She couldn’t look at him and lie, so she focused on straightening the cover atop his bed. “I don’t know. It sounds quite serious.”
William said nothing, but she could feel him assessing her. Drawing a deep breath, she met his gaze. “I can’t tell you what a joy it is to see you looking so well. ’Tis the answer to all of our prayers. Take good care of yourself.”
His expression remained somber, but he nodded in agreement. “I would remind you to take care as well, Elizabeth. And when Nicholas tells you...everything, I hope you’ll understand.”
Elizabeth nodded to appease William, but knew Nicholas had nothing more to tell her. She’d be surprised if he would do more than bid her goodbye. “I must go. Be well, William.”
*
“She’s searching for you, my lord,” Walter answered when Nicholas asked him of Elizabeth’s whereabouts.
Nicholas was surprised. He’d assumed he was the last person in the entire keep for whom she’d be looking.
“I told her I thought you were with Sir William.” Walter squinted up at him. “Her father is ill, you know.”
“He is?” He shook his head as he realized how wrong his vision of Lord Crefton had been.
“Lady Elizabeth received a message this morning,” Walter replied. “You didn’t see it, my lord?”
Nicholas didn’t bother to answer. The damned visions were no help at all. He took the stairs two at a time, anxious to find her.
“She’s not here,” William announced as soon as Nicholas entered his chamber.
“How do you know I’m looking for her?” Nicholas asked.
“Because I know somewhere in that thick head of yours, you have a brain. If you’ve any sense at all, you’ll find her and explain. Everything,” William said pointedly.
The idea of telling her everything was not in his plans. “I need to find her.”
“Nicholas, if you don’t take this chance with her, then you’re more of an idiot than I thought.”
“When I want your advice, little brother, I’ll ask for it.” Nicholas felt his temper rising.
William shook his head and closed his eyes. “Fool,” he muttered as he leaned back against the pillows.
“You worry about getting better,” Nicholas told him. “I’ll worry about me.”
“But who will worry over Elizabeth?” William’s parting comment hit Nicholas in the back as he left.
I will, Nicholas thought. I’m doing what’s best for her. He headed toward their chamber, not certain where else to search. The door stood closed so he opened it slowly, too well remembering what had happened last time he’d opened their door.
His heart sank when he saw her standing before the bed, rearranging the clothing in her bag. “Elizabeth, I would speak with you.”
She spared him a glance and picked up a kirtle from the bed to fold it with quick efficient movements. “I’ve received word that my father is ill. I’m going home.”
Her tone sounded so final. But he knew her bag had been packed before she’d even received that message. She didn’t look at him, but placed the gown in the bag.
“I’m sorry to hear about your father.”
“Are you?” The sarcasm in her tone was clear.
He stepped closer and took her hand. “Elizabeth, I was wrong.”
She cast a glance at him before pulling her hand away. “I need to leave as quickly as possible.”
He’d known this wouldn’t be easy, but he had to make her listen to him. “I am sorry.” He grasped her arms to turn her to face him and placed his finger under her chin so she’d look at him. “Will you listen to me for a moment?”
The stiffness of her body and the coolness in her brown eyes showed him how unwilling she was to do as he asked. He couldn’t blame her.
Vengeance 02 - Trust In Me Page 24