by Leisa Rayven
Before I can answer, a guy a bit shorter than I am appears beside us in a flesh-colored bodysuit.
"Really?" he says to Zoe. "You're trying to make me jealous by flirting with this guy? How dare you use my love of superheroes against me."
I take a closer look at him. Apart from cladding his entire body in pale pink lycra, he's also wearing a mushroom-shaped hat and large pinky-brown furry slippers. What the hell?
"Go away, Jack," Zoe says with a flip of her hair. "Josh and I are having a conversation, and he's super hot."
Jack turns to me and holds out his hand. "Hey, man. I'm Jack."
"Yeah," I say as I shake it. "Jack Avery, right?"
He gives me an impressed smile. "Have we met? Or have you just heard of the legend that is the man?"
"The second thing. You were at Cassie and Ethan's wedding. They told me all about the gang from The Grove, but I only got to meet Zoe. Nice to finally put a face to the name. I'm Elissa's best friend."
"Oh, cool," he says, shaking my hand. "I saw Elissa and Cassie out on the dance floor before." He leans in and whispers, "Just between you and me, did those two ever hook up? Because ... hot!"
The anger that floods my system must show on my face, because he quickly drops my hand and steps back. "Sorry, dude. Just kidding. Keep your cape on."
Zoe's disdain is clear. "What the hell are you even supposed to be, Jack? Apart from an insufferable jerk?"
He gestures to himself and smiles. "I'll give you a clue. I'm the most famous thing in the world right now."
Zoe stares at him, looking unimpressed. "You know I hate guessing. Just tell me."
"I'm Liam Quinn's cock." He grins at her.
Zoe's scowl falters. "Appropriate, considering you're such a huge dick."
They glare at each other for a second more before cracking up. Then, without missing a beat, Jack pulls Zoe into a searing kiss that makes me all kinds of uncomfortable.
"I hate you," Zoe whispers. "This is the absolute last time this is happening."
Jack proceeds to suck on her neck. "That's what you said the last twenty-eight times."
"You're keeping count?"
"One of us has to."
"You're disgusting."
"One of the many reasons you find me irresistible." He pushes her back into the wall and they keep going, getting more inappropriate by the second. I look around, but no one else seems to even notice.
"Okay, then," I say. "I'm just gonna go. See you guys around."
I take a deep drink of my beer as I move through the crowd. Let's hope this isn't an indication of how this night will go.
When I pass by a group and see Marco, I almost do a spit-take. He's usually dressed impeccably, but tonight he's rocking a full Elvis ensemble, complete with a constellation of tacky-as-hell rhinestones and pompadour wig. He throws up his arms when he sees me.
"Joshua, my lad! Glad you could make it! You look wonderful."
"Hey, Marco. You look ..." I'm so unused to seeing him with hair, I'm having trouble forming words. "Elvis-y."
He raises his eyebrows and his glass. "Why, thank you. I hope you're ready for a wonderful night. I'll see you later, yes?"
I give him a chin tip and continue on my way. Standing near a table overflowing with canapés is a guy dressed as Batman talking to a tall, lanky Riddler. As I pass, we all give each other knowing nods.
Finally, I hear a distinct laugh and spot Cassie on the far side of the room. It's only the height of the people she's with that gives them away as Elissa, Liam, and Ethan. I have to admit, they all look amazing.
Ethan is dressed as John Travolta in Pulp Fiction, and Cassie is almost unrecognizable in a black wig, white shirt, and black capris. It's uncanny how much she looks like Uma Thurman's character.
Liam and Elissa look even cooler. Elissa is turning more than just Liam's head in her Black Widow costume, complete with figure-hugging leather jumpsuit and bright red hair. And judging by Liam's sleeveless vest and the bow slung on his back, he's rocking the Hawkeye look.
As I approach, they all glance at me before going back to their conversation. It's Elissa who realizes who I am first and does a double take.
"Holy crap, Josh?!"
Then they all turn, and I've never felt so awkward. It's not bad enough I feel like an imposter in this costume in the first place, now I have two guys who could play this character in a second staring at me. I feel three feet tall.
"You look amazing!" Lissa says as she throws her arms around me. "I've been looking for Captain Kirk all night. Not Superman." She pulls back and looks at my body. "Goddamn, bestie, you got huge. What the hell?"
I shrug as the others smile at me. "You told me to work on my body."
"Yeah, but I didn't expect you to actually do it. Look at you!"
I admit I'm proud of myself. In high school, the most exercise I got was running to the cafeteria on Taco Tuesday, so hitting the gym every day and sticking with it is an achievement for me.
Liam claps a giant hand on my shoulder. "You must have put in some reps to get this big, dude. I feel slack in comparison. I haven't worked out at all while I was away."
Elissa elbows him. "Now, that's not true."
Quinn smirks like the cat who ate the canary. "Babe, bench pressing you hardly counts as a workout."
Cassie steps forward and cringes. "Ew, you two. If that's code for some new, weird sexual position, I don't even want to know." The look on Elissa's face suggests it is. Cassie ignores her and gives me a hug. "Hey, Super Josh. Kind of disappointed you didn't go with the old school Christopher Reeve costume. Those red undies on the outside were hella sexy."
I nod and look down at the dark blue textured suit. I might not be as buff as Henry Cavill, but I fill it out okay. "Yeah, well, couldn't run the risk of you being all up in my business in front of Vinnie there." I point to Ethan. "He might get jealous and shoot me in the face."
Ethan gives his best Vinnie Vega impression. "You shoot one guy in the face, and you never hear the end of it. Typical."
I breathe a sigh of relief that they didn't laugh me out of the party. Not that my friends would do that, but old wounds linger.
When a waiter arrives with a tray of shots, I grab them and pass them around. Then I raise my glass and say, "Okay, so, let's toast." They all hold up their glasses. "To good friends, good times, and an amazing year ahead."
Elissa puts her hand on my shoulder. "And to those loved ones who can't be here tonight."
"To Angel," Liam says with a sympathetic smile.
We all take a moment, and as grateful as I am to be surrounded by my friends, a celebration of any kind feels wrong without Angel. I decide right then that when I get home, I'm booking the first flight to Australia. She may be coming home in a week, but that's a week too long without her.
We all clink glasses. "Cheers."
After downing our shots, we hiss, and there's a little coughing from Cassie as the alcohol goes down.
"Happy New Year’s Eve, you guys," she manages to say through gasps. "Now, let's party our asses off."
THREE
Super Villains and Drama Queens
It's obvious the person who designed this Superman costume didn't count on a dance off. Raising my arms is a challenge, but if I have to go through a little discomfort to wipe the floor with Ethan, then that's what I'm going to do.
"Give it up, Supes," he says, doing some sort of spinning thing that shouldn't be possible considering how much he's had to drink. "You're going down."
"Ha, don't you mean getting down?" I steal a few moves from John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever. The dude beside me in the full white suit tries to copy, but he's a freaking terrible dancer. Also, my prediction about him and Avatar girl was accurate, because there are bright blue marks all over his jacket and what look suspiciously like hand prints on his crotch. There's no way that guy's getting his security deposit back.
Just when I think I'm getting the better of Ethan, Liam shows up.
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"Alright, ladies. Stand back and let me show you how it's done."
He goes into some cool hip-hop moves, and of course the bastard is a good dancer.
"Elissa, can you do something about this, please?"
She boogies on the sidelines. "I would, but I'm enjoying the view too much."
Cassie comes to the rescue. She stands in front of Quinn and pretends to send him off. "I'm sorry, sir. This is the Olympic dance off. Amateurs only. You're clearly in another league to these other yahoos."
Ethan and I stop and say, "Hey!" simultaneously.
Cassie shrugs. "Just calling it as I see it, gentlemen."
With a cheeky smile, she dances next to us, before Liam and Elissa join in. We may not be the best dancers in the world, but at least we're enthusiastic.
"Well, well, well, how fun," a condescending voice says behind us. "Superman and his little friends think they're dancing."
We turn to see a group of three guys watching us with supercilious expressions. One of them is dressed as Doctor Evil from Austin Powers, one is The Joker from Suicide Squad, and the one addressing us is wearing a super cool Loki costume that I'd compliment him on if I wasn't trying to stay in character.
"Loki," I say and cross my arms over my chest. "Just keep walking. You don't want to mess with us."
"Don't I?" he says with a sneer. He clicks his fingers, and the Joker goes and whispers something to the DJ. In seconds, the music changes, and the strains of “Uptown Funk" pour from the speakers. "Let's see you fend off these moves, Superman."
The three guys break into a fully choreographed routine, and there's no doubt these boys are trained dancers. They mix hip-hop with contemporary and jazz, and they're so damn good, I can only think of one way to beat them, and it's not pretty.
I turn to the others. "Stand back. I'll handle this."
Elissa grabs my arm. "No, Superman, you can't do this alone! It's suicide."
"I have to, Black Widow. I can at least buy you some time, so you can get to safety - the buffet table, maybe the bar."
"We won't leave you," Liam says, clamping his giant hand on my shoulder so hard, I bite my tongue to stop myself from making owie noises.
"Hawkeye, just go and keep the others safe. They're not even superheroes. Just hipsters with bad hair."
Ethan and Cassie flip me the bird then adjust their wigs.
As I turn to confront our enemies, Elissa takes my arm. "You're not going to do what I think you are, right?"
"Elissa, these assholes threw down the gauntlet. I'm just going to pick it up. Prepare to see them cry."
She tightens her hand. "Josh, no. You haven't done Le Dance Bomb since high school. You could die! Or, you know, get seriously out of breath."
"Then prepare to give me mouth to mouth, little lady, because I'm going in."
The super villains watch me warily as I stride over to them.
"Alright, gents," I say, feet wide and hands on hips. "You brought this into my classroom, so now, prepare to be schooled."
I start off slow, a step-touch here, a box-step there. They think they have me pegged and roll their eyes, but I'm just getting started. I move into what I call Disco of Doom: The Bus Stop, The Carwash, and something I made up called The Pogo Dandy. Confusion passes over their faces. They can't believe what they're seeing, and I don't have the heart to tell them they ain't seen nothing yet. Seamlessly, I morph into line dancing, complete with YIPs and YEEEHARs, and it's then I see the fear in their eyes.
That's right, boys. I'm going full dance spectacular, and there's not a damn thing you can do to stop me.
In quick succession, I hit them with The Nutbush, The Macarena, and a particularly ridiculous move Elissa dubbed Psycho Feta. When the villains get a load of that and start gazing on me in wonder, I know victory is within my grasp. Despite trying not to smile, their mouths curve, but it's not the undeniable victory I'm looking for. I need to break them.
My legs are cramping, and my lungs burn for air, but still I continue. My body is a blur as I give them The Electric Boogaloo, White-Hot Booty, and add some extra flair when I throw my cape over my shoulder so they can behold my twerking. Their smiles widen, but it's not enough. I throw in a demented version of the chicken dance, and one of them snorts but doesn't guffaw.
Goddammit. I'm so close to beating them, but I'm running out of steam. In a last desperate bid to break them, I throw myself into the moves from Thriller.
"Come on, Josh!" Elissa calls, and I screw up my moonwalk. "You've got this!"
My friends clap and cheer me on.
"Go, Kane, you magnificent weirdo," Ethan yells. "Bring it home!"
Despite their encouragement, my stamina is failing. The song is almost over, and I've run out of moves. If I don't think of something spectacular in in the next thirty seconds, this thing is all over, and Superman will be labeled a loser.
"Josh!" I turn to see Liam standing on the other side of the dance floor. "Let's do the lift."
I frown. He can't be serious. We tried it once in his apartment after we'd downed a bottle of tequila and watched Dirty Dancing, and he'd not only dropped me, he'd also pulled a muscle in his back.
"Liam, no. It's too dangerous."
He beckons to me. "We can do this. Come on!"
I shake my head. "Quinn, we can't ..."
"Goddammit, Kane, there's no time for debate! The song's about to end! Do the damn lift!"
I glance at the villains who are gazing at us smugly. I stop dancing and smile back. "You haven't won yet, bitches. Watch carefully, because I'm about to make you believe a man can fly."
Without waiting for their reaction, I run full pelt at Liam. Jesus Christ, I hope he was lying about not working out while he was on that stupid island, because I've put on about forty pounds of muscle, and I really don't want to die.
Everything seems to slow down as I reach him. He sets his mouth in a determined line before bending his knees and grabbing my hips, and when I jump into the air, he straightens his arms and pushes me above his head. For a gut-churning second, I think I have so much momentum I'm going to sail headfirst into the chocolate fountain, but at the last minute Liam corrects his position and I'm able to balance perfectly, one arm out in the classic Superman pose as my cape flutters behind me.
The sight is too much for the villains. They break into rapturous applause, as do the rest of the nearby partygoers. Even the DJ joins in by playing the Superman theme song.
The applause is still going when Quinn lowers me to the floor with a grunt.
"Fucking hell," he says as he stretches out his back. "How much do you weigh these days?"
"Rude, much? It's not polite to talk about a hero's weight."
Cassie and Elissa come over for hugs, and for the first time in all the years I've known him, Ethan looks impressed with me.
"You're insane," he says, clasping my hand and giving me a bro-hug. "But fuck, that was funny."
Even the super villains come over and congratulate me. It turns out, they're three of the hyena dancers in The Lion King. Appropriate.
Elissa orders another round of drinks, and I down my shot before heading over to a nearby couch to collapse. Damn, if I ever needed a reminder I'm not eighteen anymore, that dance off was it.
Elissa smiles as she comes and sits next to me. "That was freaking epic, my bestie."
"Yeah?" I say and rest my elbows on my knees. "I wish Angel were here to see it."
"Oh, she'll see it." She holds up her phone. "Don't you worry about that."
I lean back into the couch and sigh. "Cool. Wake me up when it's midnight, okay."
"Sure. Or, I could get us some food, so we can sit here and gossip about people."
She knows me too well. "Get the food."
···
"And that guy," whispers Elissa, "was caught backstage at Seussical, snorting cocaine off The Cat in the Hat's ass."
I laugh and wipe my mouth with a napkin. "I thought he went to rehab."
&
nbsp; "He did. It didn't stick. Word is he's heading out to Hollywood. There's no way he can support his habit on theater wages."
I shake my head. It never fails to amaze me how much scandal there is on Broadway, and Elissa somehow knows it all.
While she devours a particularly large piece of brie, I study a girl a short distance away talking with Jack, Zoe, and a guy I haven't met.
"Lissa, don't be obvious, but do you know that whore over there talking to Jack and Zoe?"
A look of disappointment passes over Elissa's face. "I'm hoping it's the alcohol making you say that. Slut shaming girls isn't usually your thing."
"I'm not slut shaming. She's dressed as an ol' timey whore from the Wild West. Look."
She checks the girls out then shrugs. "She doesn't look familiar. Why?"
"She keeps glaring at Cassie."
"Seriously?" She indicates the guy next to glarey-girl who's dressed like a Wild West villain, all in black with a ten-gallon hat. "See him?"
"Yeah."
"That's Connor Baine. You remember I told you about him being in love with Cassie, right?"
"Ohhhh, yeah. Another Grovian I didn’t meet at the wedding. Cassie dated him for a while after Ethan dumped her, right?"
"Exactly. If the whore is staring daggers at Cassie, it's probably because she's the latest in Connor's rotating roster of girlfriends. He might have told her the story."
"Huh. Awkward."
"You got that right. Cassie and Connor used to be almost as close as you and I. But since they got all groiny with each other, they barely speak."
"See? This is why we were smart to never hit the sheets together."
"Also, because you're like my brother."
"That, too."
"And judging from the way Connor's been staring at Cassie, he's still holding a major flame. The boy needs to let it go."
I break into the opening strains of the Disney song, but Elissa gives me the stink-eye, so I shut up
"What about Zoe and Jack?" I ask. "What's their history?"
Elissa shrugs. "They were snarky friends in college. Doesn't look like that's changed."