by C. C. Snow
Mine.
“You’re mine,” I say fiercely.
I’m a wasted, quivering mass when I come to my senses. Somehow I found the presence of mind to turn my body slightly so I’m not crushing Maggie under my weight. “Are you okay, angel?”
“Hmm…” she hums into my neck. I grin at seeing her looking sated and content. This is what I want every morning and night. My girl looking utterly satisfied. At the moment, even the problems waiting for us outside the bedroom don’t faze me.
After a short nap, we finish cooking the chicken parmesan in the oven. It’s soggy and rubbery from sitting in the sauce for too long, but it’s the best dinner I’ve ever eaten in my life. Staring across the table at her, an inexplicable panic grips me at the thought of being separated from her for even a few days.
Chapter Twenty
Maggie
“Cael!” I wave my arms wildly to get my brother’s attention. As soon as he sees me, he grins and takes long strides toward me. When he hugs me, I almost cry, I’ve missed him so much. Based on how tightly he’s holding me, I know I’m not the only one. “I missed you, Cael.”
“Me, too sweetheart. I’m so glad you’re home.” He pushes away and takes a thorough survey of me, green eyes sharp and assessing. “Looks like New York agrees with you.”
“It’s great, but I miss Chicago too.”
He takes a hold of my luggage and starts for the car. “Well, I have everything planned out. We’re having Thanksgiving dinner at—”
“India Palace,” we both say at the same time and laugh. I could almost hear our mom’s low laughter chiming in with ours.
Ever since I could remember, Mom took us to a restaurant for Thanksgiving. It was a special treat for us because we rarely got to eat out and I suspect it offset the memories of a time when the family unit still included our father. Over the years, it has turned into a tradition and after she died, we continued to go to her favorite restaurant.
“Do you remember that one year when you had a craving for Chinese food?” I ask, linking my arm through his.
He groans at the memory. “And the daily menu was written in Chinese and I insisted I had to have the special?”
“Mom made you eat every single one of those snails. She and I weren’t going to touch them.” I giggle, remembering how Cael’s face turned green when the dish of brown shells swimming in soy sauce arrived.
“They weren’t half bad. Kind of chewy, but better than some of the MREs I’ve eaten.”
“Eww…” I wrinkle my nose in disgust.
“Brat.”
I look down at my feet, hiding my flinch. “Uh…where’s Rachel?”
“She flew to Oregon to visit her parents.”
At the thought of not having to see her, I do an inner happy dance. She had been the one dark blot on this trip home. “Oh, that’s too bad,” I say, hoping I sound sincere.
Within minutes, we are on the road and I eagerly watch the familiar landscape fly by.
“I tried to get Sean to come out for Thanksgiving,” I say, keeping my voice casual.
Cael grunts derisively. “Let me guess. He’s flying to Puerto Rico with a up-and-coming actress from the latest Broadway hit.”
Heart sinking, I glance at him. “Is he really that bad?”
“Don’t get me wrong. Sean’s my best friend and he’s as dependable as they come, but he doesn’t have the best reputation when it comes to women. He has a very short attention span. Gets bored easily. I don’t know if it’s because he lost his mom when he was young or if it was exposure to the world of politics—probably a little of both—but he’s dated more women than I can keep track of. If memory serves, he took out every cheerleader on the squad. He was causing so many catfights, I thought the coach would ban him from the games.” Cael makes a sound of amused disgust.
“Maybe he’s changed,” I argue. Cael’s description doesn’t match up with the man I know. But you’ve only gotten to know the real Sean these last few months whereas Cael has known him for over twelve years. I try to brush aside the words of doubt, but they stick like little burrs under my skin.
“Not likely.” Cael chuckles and shoots a glance my way. “Why the sudden interest in Sean’s love life?”
My face freezes and I look quickly out the window to hide my guilty expression. My brother may be clueless when it comes to romance, but he’s all-seeing when it comes to me. “Just curious. We occasionally hang out and he hasn’t mentioned anyone he’s dating.”
“Good! I don’t want him to corrupt my baby sister with his escapades.”
“Cael! I’m a grown woman.” I scowl, annoyed that he still treats me like a five-year-old.
“You’ll always be my baby sister. Even when you’re sixty, it’ll still be my job to keep men like Sean away from you.” He flashes a grin at me and my heart sinks to my toes. I had considered hinting about Sean and my relationship, but I abandon the notion.
Sean’s loyalty to my brother is inviolate. Despite how incredible the last few weeks have been with him, I’m not confident he would choose me over his friendship with Cael.
Hope had swelled when Sean demanded I tell him I love him but when his response had been “you’re mine,” I had felt let down. I try to tell myself his possessive words are enough for now, but I know they won’t be for long. Will he ever be able to love me?
“I got us tickets for the Bears game.”
Forcing a smile to my lips, I ask, “Are you going to scream at the quarterback that he’s a jagoff again?”
His hand pushes lightly on the side of my head. “Brat! Tell me how school’s going.”
Shoving my misgivings aside, I start to chatter, determined to enjoy the holiday with my brother.
This trip will give me time to relax my guard for the first time in what feels like forever. It’s unlikely my attacker would have followed me to Chicago and I’ve already made plans with some friends to go out on Saturday night to our favorite club. As much as I already miss Sean, I’m looking forward to living a normal life for a few days.
Thanksgiving dinner is bittersweet, as always, without our mom. The next day, we drive out to her grave and spend some quiet time as a family. This too is a tradition for Cael and me. Shivering in the icy wind, we update her on our lives and tell her how much we miss her. Silently, I tell her about me and Sean and I swear I feel her wrap her arms around me in approval.
That night I check my news alerts and my heart stops at the picture of Sean with Alicia at his father’s luncheon. In the photo, the blonde rests her hand on Sean’s forearm, her head tossed back in laughter. Sean’s smile is evident even in profile and jealousy washes over me. I glare at the image, hating how insecure I feel.
I concurred with him when he suggested we limit our public outings, but seeing him flirt with other women, especially with someone like Alicia—sophisticated, well-bred, and unlike me in every way—makes my stomach burn with acid. I know Sean wouldn’t ever cheat on me, but I wonder if he regrets not being with a woman who fits into his world of money and privilege.
The next two days pass quickly and I love having brother-sister time, but I also miss Sean unbearably. When it’s time for me to leave Chicago, I’m itching with impatience to see him again and the two-hour flight feels unending.
As I walk out of the terminal, I see him immediately, my inner radar tuned in to his frequency. Completely forgetting myself, I run and launch myself into his arms. When I smell fresh evergreen, I feel like I’ve come home.
“Damn, I missed you, angel,” he whispers huskily into my ear, bringing me in close to his wonderful body heat.
I squeeze my eyes tightly, feeling pleasure trickle like warm honey through my veins. Here and now, there are no doubts. This feels right. “Me too,” I reply.
“Let’s go home.” He entwines our hands, retrieves my luggage, and tugs me toward the car.
I lean my head against his shoulder and think: I already am.
***
“Do yo
u think she’s going to be okay when she wakes up?” I stare at Hannah’s pale face, hidden behind the ventilator regulating her breathing. The telemetry equipment beeps rhythmically in the background.
“God, I hope so, Maggie.” Todd reaches his hand across the hospital bed and we hold hands, silently praying for her recovery. “When I saw Cory yesterday, he said the swelling has gone down significantly and that’s why the doctors want to bring her out of the coma.”
A tear runs down my face and I wipe impatiently at it. Brain injuries are notoriously unpredictable. Hannah may recover with minimal damage or she could lose most of her mental faculties. It’s impossible for me to imagine not having the same Hannah back. “This is so fucked up.”
“I know.” Todd leans forward and pushes a strand of her hair out of her face. “I keep expecting her to open her eyes and ask me to go dancing with her.”
Releasing Todd’s hand, I pick up hers and squeeze gently. “Hannah, there’s a new club in SoHo that just opened up. I heard they have a drink called sex-on-my-face. I triple dog dare you to order it with a straight face.”
There’s no response, but I pretend she hears me and is smirking.
“Gawd! It probably tastes awful, but she’s going to love it anyway,” Todd says with a smile in his voice.
We spend another twenty minutes talking to her about all the things we want to do when she wakes up. Then Antonio texts to let us know he’s downstairs with the car and we kiss her goodbye.
As I walk out of the room, I hear someone call my name and look up. Recognizing her tall frame and pretty face, I smile warmly. “Leslie! What are you doing here?” We’ve talked about the case over the phone, but this is the first time I’ve seen her since I gave my statement.
“James had an appointment here and I thought I’d check in on Ms. Michaels.” She nods at Hannah’s room. “I hear your friend will be waking up soon.”
“Yeah. I hope there’s no lasting damage.”
“Me too.” She touches my arm, eyes dark with sympathy. “I’m sorry we haven’t made any headway in the case, Maggie. Our last hope is that your friend remembers something from that night.”
“You’ve done everything you can. Whoever he is, he deserves to go to jail for a long, long time.”
Leslie’s expression hardens with resolve. “I agree.”
Todd’s hand on my shoulder recalls me to my manners. “Oh, excuse me. This is my friend, Todd Jorgsen. Todd, this is Sergeant Leslie Ashby. Her team is handling Hannah’s case.”
Before they can exchange hellos, a demanding voice comes from the direction of Leslie’s knees. “Mommy!”
I look down to see an enchanting toddler with dark hair and hazel eyes tugging on Leslie’s slacks. She bends down and picks up the little boy.
“Oh!” I stare in fascination at his round cheeks and button nose. “You must be Mac.” He grins winningly, showing uneven white teeth, and I tumble into love.
“Mac!” He points proudly to his chest.
Leslie laughs and juggles him in her arms. “Yes, this little flirt is my son.” She points at me and Todd and says our names. The little guy says Todd’s name perfectly, but turns mine into an adorable mish-mash.
“Aw…he’s so cute!” Todd bends down to Mac’s level and coos.
“Pwetty!” Mac points to Todd and I start giggling at the startled look on my friend’s face.
Straightening his stance, Todd looks at me ruefully. “Out of the mouths of babes.”
I elbow him and say teasingly, “He’s got good taste.”
Suddenly I hear Leslie gasp and turn around to see Mac throw himself out of her arms toward me. Reflexively, I put my arms out, catch him and settle him on my hip. Completely unaware of the heart-stopping danger, he sits contently in my arms and pets my hair. “Pwetty,” he says and tugs on my curls.
“Jesus! That was close,” Leslie says, her face pale. “Thank you so much. I wasn’t expecting that at all. He has a new acrobatic trick every day.”
I place a hand on his back to prevent any more surprise moves. “It’s okay. They don’t call it the Terrible Twos for nothing.” I cuddle him closer, loving the sturdy weight of him in my arms. He babbles to me and although I don’t comprehend eighty percent of what he says, he seems to be satisfied when I respond to the parts I do understand.
Leslie eyes me speculatively and says, “You’re really good with kids.”
“I’d better be. I plan to become a pediatrician. And I volunteered at the pediatric ward for years.” I look down at Mac. “Although I can’t say I’ve ever met someone who moves as fast as this one.”
“The kid has two speeds. Lightning and asleep,” Leslie says with a wry smile. “James should be finishing up soon.” She reaches out to take Mac from me and he twists away from her with a loud no.
“His new favorite word,” she says with exasperation. “Come on, Mac. Let’s go see if Daddy’s done.”
“Daddy?” He perks up and holds his arms out to Leslie. This time the transfer goes easily and one of her hands clasps his upper back securely.
“It was nice seeing you again, Leslie. And you too, Mac.” I lean down and tickle Mac’s chin, which sends him into a fit of giggles.
With a soft smile on her lips, Leslie says, “It looks like my son has really taken a shining to you. We’d love to have you and Sean over to dinner one of these nights. I’m sure Mac would like to see you again.” On cue, Mac calls out his version of my name.
“Oh, that’s really nice of you. I’d love to. Let me check with Sean.” A look of guilt flashes across her face, confusing me. “You okay, Leslie?”
She shakes her head and smiles. “I’m fine. I hope we’ll see you soon. It was nice to meet you, Todd.”
Todd and I wave goodbye and take the elevator downstairs. Antonio is waiting for us in the lobby. I stare at them with envy as they greet each other with a kiss and hug. I want—nay, crave—what they have. The openness of their bond. The unabashed proclamation of their love for each other.
Since my return from Chicago, Sean has become more open and affectionate when we’re alone, but the kernel of discontent has been growing. I hate not being able to go out in public as a couple. I know I’m being greedy, but I want everything and I want it now. I have approached him about telling Cael about us countless times, but I always back off at the last minute, plagued by doubts.
Why hasn’t Sean pushed to tell Cael about us? Is he starting to get bored?
“Hot Tamales, I’ll see you next week.” Todd twists around to smile at me.
I blink, waking up to the fact that we’ve arrived at Sean’s building. “Oh. Thanks for the ride. See you next week!” Blowing them both a kiss, I slide out of the car.
When I enter the apartment, I’m not surprised Sean isn’t back yet. His schedule is erratic, especially when he needs to go to a crime scene at an ungodly hour. With the exception of the week he took off, he also puts in an insane amount of hours at work. It’s only over the last month that he’s gotten better.
I start to make dinner. Knowing the unpredictability of his job, I’ve stuck to recipes that can be reheated easily—casseroles and stews. Tonight it’s going to be a pot of chili and a pan of cornbread. After turning the heat down low, I curl up on the sofa and open up my physiology textbook. I lose track of time until I hear the snick of the front door.
Lifting my eyes from my book at his entrance, I smile at how gorgeous he looks. His hair has darkened to a honey-gold in the winter, but his tanned skin has remained, hinting at an interesting ancestry. His body, toned from daily morning runs, is all lean muscle under his dark gray suit. As he meets my gaze, his lips tilt up, sending my pulse skittering crazily.
He hangs up his coat and stalks over to me. His cobalt blue eyes flaring with heat, he bends down and says huskily, “I love seeing you here, all warm and cuddly, waiting for me.”
Pleasure fills me, followed a beat later by disappointment. It isn’t the declaration of love I have been yearnin
g to hear, but I tell myself it’s still progress. A month ago, this man would never have admitted to such a sentiment.
Before I can respond, he closes the few inches between us and takes my mouth. No matter how many times he kisses me, it always sends my senses into a tailspin and I get sucked into the sensual delight of his mouth. My book drops to the floor and I clutch onto his lapels to bring him closer.
When my lungs are burning, he finally breaks away. He rubs his nose against mine and my heart liquefies.
“Mom used to give me Eskimo kisses,” I say, a distant memory surfacing.
His expression grows nostalgic and after kissing my nose, he sits down next to me. I place my head in the crook of his shoulder and he strokes my arm in comfort. “It’s still hard to imagine she’s gone.”
Fighting the prickle of tears, I nod with a sad sigh. “Yeah.”
“She used to sneak into the room to check on us when she thought Cael and I were asleep. She’d make sure my sleeping bag was zipped up and then she’d touch the top of my head and say something in Gaelic. Rah something.”
“Rath Dé Ort,” I say with a smile.
“Yes! I never could ask her what she said because then I’d have to confess I was pretending to be asleep.”
The pulse of amusement in his voice makes one corner of my mouth kick up. “It means God’s blessings on you. One of my mom’s old Irish sayings. She was modern in many ways, but she clung on to some of the traditions. For Halloween, or Samhain as she called it, she’d always bake us barmbrack. Have you ever had it?”
“No. What is it?”
Letting the good memories wrap around me like old friends, I snuggle closer and tell him about the little rituals my mom passed on to us. Other than with Cael, I hardly talk about my mom because it’s too painful, but now I find myself laughing at some of the superstitious things she made us do.
When my stomach growls, I stop, surprised I have been talking for so long. Twisting around, I look deeply in his beautiful eyes and say, “Thank you.”
“For what?”