“You are not crazy,” Rose said emphatically.
“Like I’m supposed to accept the word of a figment of my imagination!” Neve snorted.
“A figment－” Rose, for the first time, moved from her spot by the tree and approached Neve. “Wait a minute. I thought he had confused you somehow. He’s good at that. But are you telling me you don’t know me? You don’t remember me at all?”
“Of course I don’t remember you! I don’t remember anything!”
Rose cursed under her breath, pressing a hand to her lips. “I can’t believe this.”
“You can’t believe it?” Neve huffed out a humorless laugh. “I’m living it and I can’t believe it.”
“Neve, you have to listen to me.” She cocked her head, as if hearing something in the distance. “I can’t keep this up for long. The connection is already weakening.”
At that, Neve noticed the edges of the forest growing blurry, smearing like paint again.
“What’s happening?”
“Listen!” Rose replied sharply. “I am your sister. We’re looking for you and we will find you. Be strong until then.”
“We? Who－”
“There’s no time to explain,” she interrupted. “What can you tell me about where you are?”
“Where?” Neve swallowed, glancing up nervously as the blurry edges grew closer. “I’m in my room at Blackbriar.”
“Anything else?” Rose asked quickly. “Do you know where Blackbriar is?”
Neve’s head was beginning to ache, and she rubbed at her temples. “No. There’s a forest surrounding it. That’s all I know.”
Rose crossed to Neve in two steps and reached out to grasp her hands. Surprisingly, Neve could feel her touch.
“You have to try and get out of there,” Rose said. “But don’t let him know. You can’t let him know you’re on to him. Whatever you do, don’t trust him.”
She felt a surge of guilt at that . . . of nervous doubt, even though the woman－the dream, for heaven’s sake, she was feeling guilty talking to a dream－could have no idea that Neve had spoken to Torbin.
Still, even though this was most likely all in her head, Neve felt an unexplainable urge to reassure her. “I haven’t even gotten near him,” she said. “I’m pretty sure he hates me, so don’t worry.”
“Oh, he definitely hates you,” she replied with a little laugh. “But he hasn’t tried to talk to you? He hasn’t . . . done anything to you?”
“No?” Neve tilted her head in confusion. “I don’t think Torbin would－”
“Torbin?” Rose’s dark eyes widened. “Torbin is there with you? Nobody’s been able to find him, but we thought he was off searching for you!”
“I don’t understand－” The forest began to swim, green and black and gray smearing like paint on a canvas, but Neve could still feel Rose’s hands on her arms, squeezing them, shaking them slightly.
“You have to talk to Torbin,” she said urgently. “He can help you but be care—”
“But you said not to trust－”
“Here, this may help,” Rose said quickly, pushing up her sleeve so her rose tattoo came into view. She ran her fingers over it, then reached for Neve’s left arm, tracing the same area on her skin. Too stunned to pull away, Neve watched as the iridescent outline of a snowflake appeared on her arm. It sparkled as if lit from within, and a trickle of heat creeped out from under it, up her arm and down to her fingertips.
“Be careful.” Rose squeezed both her hands. “I love you.”
And with that, the swirling closed in, swallowing Neve in darkness. She awoke with a gasp, back in her bed, the weak stream of early dawn sunlight peeking through the edge of the curtains.
Heart pounding, she pushed back the covers and shoved up her sleeve, gasping at the sight of a fading snowflake, shimmering against her skin. It flared as she touched it, growing a little brighter, sparks of pale blue, pink, and white snapping off her fingertips. With a gasp, she clenched her hand into a fist, clutching it to her stomach in reflex as she curled in on herself. Breath quickening into rapid pants, a counter melody to her rabbiting heartbeat, she closed her eyes and tried to keep from passing out.
She could do this.
Just breathe. In and out.
After a while, when Neve was no longer in danger of fainting, she opened her eyes. The room was cast in shadow by the dim light piercing the gap in the curtains, and she took a moment to ground herself in reality.
The bed. The table. Her sweatshirt draped over the chair on the opposite side of the room.
Then, ever-so-slowly, she straightened and extended her arm. The sleeve had dropped back down again, the frayed edge brushing her wrist, and she licked her lips, hesitating before she reached out and pushed it up to her elbow, revealing the pale skin underneath.
Nothing.
She jerked her arm closer to her eyes, frantically searching for any sign of the glowing lines, the twinkling colors, but they were gone. No glowing. No sparks. No snowflake.
“What in the world?” she muttered, running a palm over the bare skin. “Am I losing it?”
But no.
There was . . . something there. Nothing Neve could see, but she could swear that the skin on the inside of her arm felt warm.
Tingling.
The feeling slowly faded, but she sat staring at the spot for a long time, until the room lightened, and the sounds of morning activity filtered in from the hall.
What was going on?
The more Neve tried to make sense of it, the more her thoughts kept going in circles. If she was delusional, then it was all in her head. On the other hand, she’d found proof that at least some of it was real. She had the bear fur, after all.
And if she wasn’t delusional, why was she in a mental hospital in the first place? And why couldn’t she remember anything?
With every passing moment, Neve became more convinced that it wasn’t all in her head. What she couldn’t figure out was how all the pieces fit together.
And when she finally dressed and made it to the common room for breakfast, yet another piece of the puzzle was sitting at the table in the center of the room, munching on a piece of toast slathered with strawberry jam.
Lily was back.
Neve’s first instinct was to run over and talk to Lily, ask what had happened, and make sure she was okay. But she hesitated, remembering her last interaction with the girl. Lily had been almost animalistic, teeth bared and eyes wild, and Neve definitely didn’t want a repeat of that incident.
After almost a week, though, she was incredibly relieved to see her.
Lily seemed a bit pale and tired, the usually spiky, pink hair on the top of her head hanging limp and lifeless . . . dark circles bruising the skin under her eyes. She munched on her toast, interspersing bites with gulps of milk, but didn’t seem to pay attention to anyone or anything around her.
Neve got her tray, haphazardly grabbing a bowl of cereal and an apple, and approached the table warily. She was aware of Torbin watching her from across the room . . . of Tala completely ignoring her from her place near the door.
Neve cleared her throat. “Mind if I sit here?”
Lily jumped a little, as if she’d been lost in thought. “It’s a free country,” she replied with a shrug.
Neve swallowed, still unsure of her reception. “How are you feeling?”
Lily darted a calculating glance at her. “Who wants to know?”
So she didn’t remember. Well, Neve could relate to that.
“I’m Neve,” she said, twisting the stem off her apple. “You, uh, look better than the last time I saw you.” It was a lie－she looked terrible－but at least she wasn’t trying to rip Neve’s head off.
“Uh, thanks? I guess?”
Neve smiled, her tense shoulders relaxing slightly. “I’m glad you’re back,” she said. “It wasn’t the same around here without you.”
Lily sat back, swiping a smear of jelly from the corner of her mouth with
her thumb before licking it off. Her eyes narrowed on Neve for a moment, before she focused on the table top. “I wouldn’t know.”
There was something so . . . passive, about Lily now. Her carefree smile and dancing eyes were nowhere to be found, and she considered Neve with a nervous, almost frightened air, quick glances skirting away whenever their eyes met.
“Doctor Alberich said you were in treatment,” Neve began.
“He talked to you about me?” Her voice trembled a bit, and she looked on the verge of tears. “Why would he talk to you about me?”
“He didn’t,” Neve said quickly. “Not really. I was just really worried, and－” She set the apple back on the tray, unsure of how to proceed. There were so many things she wanted to know, but it was pretty evident that Lily was in no condition to share them.
She decided to change tactics. “Do you have any idea what happened to you?”
Tears filled Lily’s eyes. “I don’t know.”
“Where you were? What kind of treatment－”
“I said I don’t know!” She stood and picked up her tray, fumbling it in her trembling hands. “Why are you asking me all these questions?”
“I’m only trying to figure out what happened.” Neve got to her feet and moved around the table slowly. “Please, Lily, can you remember anything? It might be important.”
“Can you leave me alone?” Lily said, her voice taking on a frantic tone. “I need to go to my room.”
“Lily－”
“What’s going on here?” Calum stalked across the room, moving between them. “You both need to calm down.”
“I am calm,” Neve replied through gritted teeth, frustration making her impetuous. “But I want to talk to Lily.”
“I don’t want to talk to her,” Lily told Calum. “Can you make her leave me alone?”
Neve’s own throat choked with tears, everything she’d been thinking and feeling and living suddenly an unbearable weight on her shoulders. Lily was her friend. She only wanted to help.
“Where has she been?” she asked Calum. “She’s been gone for so long, and now she’s－” She waved a hand. “－different. What did you do to her?”
Lily was completely freaked out now, silent tears streaming down her face. “What’s she talking about?”
“Nothing,” Calum said soothingly. “It’s all right.”
“It’s not all right,” Neve snapped. “It’s like Lily’s had a personality transplant . . . and Tala!” She pointed to where the woman sat, oblivious to the happenings right in front of her. “Tala’s been acting strange, too. Something weird is going on here.”
“I don’t like this,” Lily said, whispering through her tears to no one in particular. “I want to go to my room.”
“Lily, listen to me－” Neve tried to step around Calum, but he matched the movement, blocking her.
“Let me talk to her,” she exclaimed, exasperated.
“No!” Lily said.
“I think you need to go back to your room,” Calum said, wrapping his thin fingers around Neve’s elbow. “Come on, let’s go.”
She yanked her arm away. “Don’t touch me.”
“I said, let’s go.” Calum grabbed her by the wrist this time, his grip tight and demanding. “Unless you want me to get the restraints－”
The thought of being tied down again sent a rush of panic through Neve, and her heart fluttered in her chest. “No,” she said. “Don’t do that.”
Lily was rocking slightly, curled in on herself, and suddenly, Torbin was there, wedging his way into the bizarre tableau.
“This is not your concern,” Calum said through a sneer. “So unless you want me to call Doctor Alberich, I suggest you step back.”
Torbin didn’t move. Lily continued to rock, and Neve’s breathing quickened, her skin heating as she tugged against Calum’s grip.
“Angelica, get the Haldol,” Calum called out, “and the restraints.”
“No!” Neve shouted, a surge of tingling heat running through her as sparks erupted from her fingertips. Calum released her with a gasp and she quickly clutched her arm to her stomach, hiding it in the folds of her sweatshirt.
“What did you do?” Calum exclaimed. He’d been looking away when it happened, so he hadn’t seen the sparks, but he definitely felt something. He started toward her, but Torbin loomed in his way, shaking his head ever-so-slightly.
“Move,” Calum growled at him. “Or you will regret it.”
“Torbin, no.” Neve said quietly. “It’s okay.” She forced herself to breathe evenly, willing her heart to slow. She could feel it when the heat and tingling receded, and when she extended her hand to touch him, the sparks were gone.
Another point for the Weird Stuff That Was Actually Real column.
She didn’t have time to dwell on it, however.
“I’m sorry,” she told Lily. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” Then to Calum, “I got a little upset, but I promise, I’m all right now.”
He studied her. “But what did you do to my arm?”
She shrugged. “Static electricity, I guess. Sorry?”
“Strongest static I’ve ever felt,” he muttered, but he stepped back, waving her forward. “I think everyone needs to spend a little time in their rooms.” He glared at Torbin. “I’m pretty sure Doctor Alberich will want to talk to you.”
They filed out of the common room and went their separate ways, Torbin sending Neve a significant look before he turned and walked away. She wasn’t sure if it was a We’ll talk later look or a Wow, you really messed up this time look－probably a combination of both－but Neve was pretty sure this wasn’t the end of it.
She couldn’t think about that at the moment, though. Because she’d just seen something incredible happen, and now she knew it was real.
Calum had felt it. She was pretty sure that Torbin had seen it.
She’d done something, although she still wasn’t certain exactly what it was. But it felt familiar to her now, and Neve was pretty sure she could do it again. Not with Calum dogging her heels, however. The man trailed after her, apparently unworried that Lily and Torbin would follow directions, but unsure if Neve would.
Doctor Alberich was waiting at her door when they arrived. “Hello, Neve,” he said. “I understand there was a bit of a commotion at breakfast.”
Neve forced a smile. “It was nothing, really. I wanted to talk to Lily, but she wasn’t up for it.”
He frowned and exchanged a significant look with Calum. “No, no. I would think she wouldn’t be,” he said. “Would you please go inside? I’d like to speak with Calum for a moment.”
Neve wanted to argue. She really did. But she knew better.
“Yes, Doctor,” she said before entering the room. He closed the door firmly behind her and she pressed her ear against it. All she could make out was the low rumble of voices, however.
“Come on, speak up,” she muttered to herself. “I want to hear you.”
To her surprise, the voices grew louder－maybe they’d moved closer to the door－and she could clearly hear their conversation.
“－need to adjust her meds,” Doctor Alberich said. “Tell Angelica to double the dose.”
“What are you going to tell the girl?” Calum asked.
He let out a little laugh. “I don’t have to tell her anything,” he replied. “I’m her doctor. I have her best interests at heart.”
At that, the two men walked away, and Neve let out a shaky breath. She crossed to her bed and climbed onto it to sit cross-legged, slipping off her sweatshirt. She rested her hands on her knees, palms up, and looked down at them, chewing her lip. They looked . . . normal. Pale skin and blue veins . . . bone and muscle and blood.
But they weren’t normal. Nothing about this situation was normal. Neve was finally beginning to understand that.
She needed to be more careful. With Doctor Alberich and Calum watching her more closely－doubling her meds－it was going to be harder to pretend she’d tak
en them. Harder to get rid of them.
Harder to hide whatever was happening to her.
Neve was confined to her room for the rest of the day. She didn’t know if the others had a similar punishment－opportunity for insight and growth, according to Doctor Alberich－because, as usual, nobody would tell her anything.
Her meals were brought to her, and she ate sitting on her bed, not really tasting the food. She watched the others outside during free time but didn’t see Lily or Torbin among them. It gave her a lot of time to think, although whether that was a positive or a negative, Neve wasn’t quite sure.
When night fell, Angelica brought her medication－double the pills, Neve noticed without mentioning it－and she made a good show of pretending to swallow them, wishing desperately the whole time that Angelica would buy it.
She did. The nurse watched her dispassionately, then left the room and Neve spat the pills in the toilet.
Although it left her clearer, the downside was a difficulty in falling asleep. It was past midnight when Neve was lying in bed, staring at the shadows flickering on the ceiling, and she heard a scratch at the window.
She stiffened, and after a long moment, she heard it again.
Goosebumps broke out across Neve’s skin as she slipped quietly from under the covers. The floor was cold against her bare feet, and she rubbed her arms, all but tiptoeing toward the window. The curtains swayed slightly in the faint current from the heating ducts, the gap between them widening and narrowing in a slow rhythm. She took a steadying breath and reached out to pull them open.
Neve knew what she’d see, of course, but it was still startling to come face to face with an enormous bear. She gasped, heart racing as she stumbled back a few steps. It took a moment for her to regain her composure.
The bear waited patiently . . . if bears were capable of such a thing, and watched as she approached.
“Back again, huh?” she murmured. “Boy, you’re a big fellow.”
It stood on its hind legs, towering over her, one claw shoved through the gap in the bars. It looked down at her, but didn’t move, its eyes black and shadowed in the darkness.
Of Snow and Roses Page 6