Yes.
“And was that years ago?”
No.
“So Alberich lied . . . big surprise.” She plucked a piece of moss off the log and started to tear it into little pieces. “Alberich took my memories, right?”
Torbin froze, his muscles growing tight, and she tilted her head, studying him closely. “You can’t answer that question, can you?”
A jerk of the head. No.
“Don’t fight it,” she told him. “We’ll figure it out. Let me think.” She paused, sprinkling the moss over her legs.
“That day I woke up, not remembering anything . . . had we been at Blackbriar a week?”
He held out his hands, about a foot apart, then brought them closer together.
“A few days?”
Yes.
“So, what does he want with us?” she mumbled to herself. “Do you know what he wants with us?”
Torbin grimaced and held out a hand, palm down, waggling it back and forth. Some of it. Not everything.
“Ugh, this is so frustrating!” Neve wove her fingers through her hair again, yanking gently. “If only you could－” She froze, focusing on Torbin.
“Can you talk? I mean, normally? Before you came here, could you talk?”
Yes.
“So . . . someone took your voice, like they took my memories?” She watched him struggle with the answer, his teeth grinding together.
“You can’t answer that,” she murmured, pieces starting to fit together. “Anything having to do with Alberich, you can’t answer.”
Torbin sat stock still, fingers digging into the bark of the tree.
“Alberich,” she said distastefully. With a loud crack, Torbin tore out a chunk of the log, crumbling it to a mass of splinters.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” she said, getting to her feet to pace again. “So, somehow Alberich gets both of us here－he traps us or lures us, I guess it doesn’t matter that much, and I’m sure you can’t tell me so－” She waved a hand and spun on her heel to walk in the other direction. “He takes my memories to convince me I’m delusional. Takes your voice so you can’t tell me what’s going on. He’s controlling you somehow, even though you’re able to fight it to some degree.”
She glanced at him, but Torbin was preternaturally still. A confirmation.
“He’s got some kind of plan using the patients here at Blackbriar—and I overheard him say that it all leads to me, somehow. It’s like he’s practicing on the others so he can do something to me.”
Torbin growled deep in his throat, making her jump.
“Let me try something,” she said, sitting sideways next to him, a bit closer now so her knee brushed his thigh. She was painfully aware of the contact but didn’t want to make a big deal of it by jerking away.
“I’m going to see if I can break through,” she said. “It’s kind of creepy, me pushing into your mind. So I don’t want to do it unless you’re okay with it.”
He nodded quickly. Do it.
“Okay, I promise I won’t do anything weird. No post-hypnotic suggestions to make you dance whenever you hear the word velociraptor or anything.”
Torbin gave her a look that definitely said he was reconsidering giving his permission.
“I said I won’t do that. I don’t even know if I can do that. Sheesh!” She did not say that it was something she might want to try in the future, when all this was over.
“Okay, try to relax, she said as she rubbed her hands together. “I think－” She cleared her throat. “Maybe if I was touching you? I think it might help.”
Without ceremony, Torbin thrust out his huge hands, and Neve placed her palms carefully against his. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She’d never tried to influence Torbin before, so she had to find the tether—search for the unique connection－
Wait. It was already there.
Her eyes flew open. “We’re already connected.”
Torbin’s lips curved up in a crooked grin that made her stomach flip.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
He gave her an exasperated look that couldn’t have more clearly said, duh.
“Okay, okay, cut the amnesiac some slack.” She looked into his eyes, the warm brown softening as she stared at him. Neve swallowed thickly, trying to focus on the task at hand. She reached for the tether and put all her will behind her wish.
Talk to me.
Torbin’s hand tightened on hers and his eyes grew panicked. His whole body tensed up, muscles going rigid, and he bared his teeth, painful grunts escaping in harsh pants. His whole body curled in on itself as if he were in agony, and Neve scrambled to send another command.
Stop. Stop. Stop.
He relaxed, breathing heavily.
“Sorry. You okay?”
He nodded.
“Okay, so that didn’t work,” Neve said. “I could get you to help me, but not to talk. Maybe one command is stronger than another?”
Torbin shrugged, still breathing heavy. I have no idea.
“I don’t want to put you through that again, so let me think for a minute.” She still held his hands but pretended not to notice. “I can’t overcome the silence command. And I’m pretty sure whatever compulsion you’re under to never discuss Alberich is the same.”
He simply stared at her, unmoving.
“So maybe we have to be a little creative,” she murmured, studying his face for any lingering signs of pain.
There were none.
“Were you ordered to stay away from me?” she asked.
Torbin fought only a moment before he was able to nod. So there was a way to get around the orders. As long as she kept it vague－didn’t mention Doctor Alberich by name－Torbin could fight back the compulsion.
“Did that hurt?” she asked. He shrugged like it was no big deal.
Stoic to a fault.
“Can you feel what’s been done to you? Inside?”
That question startled him, as if he’d never thought of it.
“It hurts when you push against it, right?” He nodded. “So can you feel it when you’re not fighting it?”
Torbin tipped his head, brow creased in concentration, and after a moment . . . Yes.
“Do the different orders feel different to you? Like, I don’t know－can you feel the strength of the unbreakable ones? Others that aren’t so strong?”
Yes.
“And the order that . . . doesn’t let you follow me into Alb－to certain places. Is that a strong one?”
Torbin thought for a moment, then nodded slowly, a grim look on his face.
“Great. I guess I better sharpen my safe-cracking skills.”
Neve stared down at their joined hands, and her mind drifted to the earlier memory. She and Torbin had a past of some kind. She couldn’t help but wonder what kind of past. She assumed they were friends, but could they have been more?
She had a sobering thought. What if the more had been with Rose? The idea made her feel a little sick to her stomach.
Torbin released her hand, his finger slowly rising until it touched her under the chin, tipping her head up to meet his gaze. He gave her a questioning look and pointed to her forehead.
She could tell he wasn’t referring to her powers this time.
“I’m fine,” she said. “Just thinking, you know?” Neve turned sideways abruptly, her legs dangling off the log, and she clutched her now cold hands in her lap. “I, uh, was wondering . . .”
Torbin was silent, but she dared not look at him.
“The memory I have now, of us?” She glanced at him quickly, heat rising in her cheeks. “Of you and me and Rose? Well, I uh, I was wondering. Were you and Rose? I mean, did she－did you－”
Her face was painfully hot now and she yearned to turn back time about thirty seconds, before she dug herself into such an embarrassing hole.
She heard a muffled snort from beside her and snuck a quick look at Torbin to find him fighting laughter.
“Ug
h, it’s not funny,” she grumbled. “It’s very frustrating not to remember things, I’ll have you know. I’m simply trying to fill in the blanks. But if you don’t want to help me－” She got up, prepared to stalk away with what little dignity she had remaining, but Torbin caught her hand and pulled her back.
She slumped back onto the log but didn’t look at him. He reached out and gently turned her head, ducking to meet her gaze.
Neve sighed. She supposed it was rude to look away. Like plugging your ears when someone was trying to talk to you.
His eyes were soft, his smile tender . . . unmocking. He very deliberately shook his head back and forth, and relief flowed through her.
“Okay, well, that’s－” She swallowed nervously. “That’s good to know. You know, for the purpose of making sure my memories are all intact and, uh, accurate－” She swallowed again with an audible gulp.
Torbin simply stared at her, his gaze drifting over her face, as if he were trying to memorize it himself. He still held her chin gently in the curve between his thumb and forefinger. He was so much bigger than her, but she felt no threat. Nothing but an air of protection—of security—emanated from him. Somehow, deep down in her soul, she knew he’d rather die than allow harm to come to her.
“I can trust you,” she murmured, the thought forming words without her consent.
He nodded somberly.
“Thank you,” she whispered, eyes fluttering closed as she swayed toward him.
A sharp whistle jerked them apart, breaking the spell, and they both jumped to their feet.
“We’ve been gone too long,” Neve said. “We need to get back.” She quickly thrust up her concealment, wrapping it around Torbin as they emerged from the forest. They paused for a moment, and she looked into his eyes, a mountain of words silently flowing between them. Hope and fear . . . and promises they both hoped they could keep.
“I’ll find you later,” Neve whispered, and they took off in opposite directions.
Neve didn’t see Torbin again until breakfast the following day. She tried to look inconspicuous, but nerves raced through her as she thought of revisiting Alberich’s office that night. Because it had to be that night. There was no more putting it off. Looking around the common room was enough to tell her that they’d probably delayed too long already.
Other than Neve and Torbin, only a handful of patients sat at the tables scattered around the room, dead-eyed as they scooped up spoonfuls of greasy chili. Torbin didn’t look in her direction, and Neve followed his lead. Calum stood near the french doors watching them all. She met his gaze and looked away quickly.
Doctor Alberich didn’t address the fact that group therapy was down to five patients－Torbin, Tala, Neve, Peter, and Lily. He’d maintained his usual chipper encouragement, scribbling in his ever-present notebook, but Neve doubted he was even listening. When he finally turned to her, asking if she wanted to share, she licked her lips and met his gaze.
“Doctor, where is everyone?” she asked. She could feel Torbin shooting daggers at her but ignored him.
“I beg your pardon?”
“Uh, the group,” she said, waving a hand toward the other patients. “Shouldn’t there be more people here? Where are Melissa and Nancy? And the young girl with red hair . . . Alice, I think?”
His eyes narrowed on her and she tried to look innocent . . . unthreatening.
He clicked his pen. “I’m not at liberty to discuss other patients with you, but I can say that we’ve had some successes with our treatment here.”
Neve didn’t expect that answer and couldn’t hide her surprise. “Oh?”
“Yes, we’ve had a few patients who have progressed enough that they’ve been able to go home.” He closed his notebook and patted it with satisfaction. “It should give all of you hope.” He addressed the whole group, but his gaze didn’t stray from Neve’s.
Liar. She hoped her thoughts didn’t show on her face. She wanted to press the issue. She really wanted to ask about the basement. But Torbin seemed to follow her train of thought and when she slid a glance his way, he gave an imperceptible shake of his head.
Such a small movement, but she knew he was yelling at her in his own, quiet way.
Don’t push your luck.
She knew he was right. They needed to bide their time and not raise any suspicions. It didn’t make it any easier to swallow, however.
“That’s great news, Doctor,” she said with a smile. “Very encouraging.”
He nodded slowly. “Indeed.” He stood abruptly. “That’s it for now. See you all tomorrow. Good work.” Doctor Alberich turned on his heel and strode out of the room, and Neve let out a long, slow breath. She gave Torbin a weighted look and headed for the yard, strolling toward the forest path as if she hadn’t a care in the world. With one quick glance back, she headed into the darkness, feeling it when Torbin followed her. He caught up after a few moments, and she whirled on him.
“Could you believe that guy?” she hissed. “They’ve progressed enough that they were ready to go home. Right. Progressed right down to that creep-show of a basement!”
Torbin gave her a Tell me about it look.
“We have got to bring him down. We’ve got to!” She choked on emotion, and unexpected tears pricked at her eyes. Torbin huffed and pulled her into a hug.
A hug. Torbin didn’t really seem like a hugging kind of guy.
But he was really, really good at it. He was hard all over, but they fit together somehow, and he wrapped her in soothing warmth. His huge hand smoothed over her back, up and down in a hypnotic rhythm, lulling her into a state of peace, or at least as close to peace as she could get in that moment.
Eventually, she pulled back, embarrassed. “Sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean to fall apart on y－” Suddenly, her vision darkened at the edges, and the world around her started to spin.
“Oh no,” she murmured, and she was aware of Torbin sweeping her up into his arms before the world spiraled away.
The next thing Neve knew, she was in the forest－the dreamy one with spindly trees, unlike the thick pines surrounding the Institute－and Rose was standing before her, a worried look on her face.
“I can’t keep this up for long,” she said. “He’s getting stronger and he’s been keeping me out.”
“Doctor Alberich?” Neve asked.
“Doctor?” Rose laughed. “That’s what he’s calling himself now?”
“We’re going to get out,” Neve told her. “We’re going to escape tonight.”
“Where are you? I’ve been scrying, but I can’t pinpoint you.”
“Scrying?” Neve could see the edges of the vision beginning to swirl. They were running out of time.
“You still don’t remember?” Rose reached out and took her hands. “We’re witches, Neve. You are a powerful witch.”
With that, the memory flashed through Neve’s mind of the two of them standing like this, hands joined, as bright light surrounded them. It was clearer now, and Neve could see their heads thrown back, wide smiles on their faces as the light swirled around and through them while sparks danced along their skin.
“I remember,” she said quietly. It was true. She was a witch, and she had power. And Rose could help them.
“What kind of power?” Neve asked quickly, the swirling colors were getting closer. “What can I do?”
Rose laughed. “Pretty much anything,” she said. “At least when we’re together. But the center of your personal power is the elements in nature.”
Neve nodded slowly. “Like lightning?”
“Lightning, wind, rain . . . any of it.”
Neve looked down at her arm where the snowflake tattoo now shimmered. “Snow?”
Rose grinned. “Snow and ice, yes. You said it’s like you’re connected to the moisture in the air. The electric current running through everything.”
Another tether.
“Can I－” A rush of dizziness swept in and Rose vanished, replaced by Torbin,
looming over her prone body. Neve blinked rapidly, and he let out a relieved breath.
“I’m okay,” she reassured him. “Let me catch my breath.”
After a few minutes, he helped her to her feet and she leaned against a tree, running trembling hands through her hair.
“That really takes it out of you, you know?” she said on a laugh, taking a few deep breaths. Torbin stood next to her, waiting.
“Did you know I’m a witch?” she asked quietly. It was ridiculous. Preposterous.
He nodded. Yes.
“Rose, too.”
Yes.
“She said－” Neve cleared her throat, then got an idea. “Hey, can I show you something?”
Torbin tipped his head curiously.
“Not here, though,” she said, eyeing the thick canopy overhead. I need an open area. Come on.”
It was much easier to navigate the path during the day, so Neve led him at a quick pace until they reached the break in the trees and the bear’s meadow spread out before them. The flowers were open now, a riot of color amidst the varying shades of green. The sun had moved beyond the canopy, but the sky was still light . . . blue and cloudless . . . and an easy breeze ruffled Neve’s hair.
“Nice, isn’t it?” she asked, walking to the center of the clearing. The grass was matted down here, where she and the bear spent most of their time, and she sat cross-legged on the bent stalks. Torbin approached her, then hesitated for a moment before sinking to his knees.
“Rose says my power comes from nature,” she said. “That’s why I can connect to electricity.”
He nodded. I know.
Neve took a deep breath and brought out her sparks, the snowflake tattoo, springing to iridescent life. She felt for the electrical current around her . . . could feel it running through the trees, the ground . . . even Torbin himself. She pulled it into herself, hair standing on end as it permeated her skin, coalescing in a powerful ball, deep in her chest. With a slow exhale, she let it flow to her fingertips . . . and out.
Twin bolts of lightning shot to the sky in a burst of pure, electric power.
Neve gasped. “That－whoa.” She turned wide-eyed to Torbin, who didn’t look surprised at all.
She frowned. “Have I done that before?”
Of Snow and Roses Page 12