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Touching from a Distance

Page 21

by Deborah Curtis


  It’s always in my mind,

  An institution with no law.

  Day of the Lords (1978)

  We won’t forget you on the day of the lords,

  When our hearts stopped,

  When we put up the boards,

  To relax from all this sickness of words,

  To escape from the collapse of our worlds.

  We won’t forget you, though in violence you go,

  As the wheels turned in the theatres below,

  An escape from the ends never met,

  In apartments with the lives not formed yet.

  You never really understood,

  You never tried to change our minds,

  As long as you were in control,

  As long as we could spare the time,

  And ‘cause you needed to win on the day of the lords.

  We won’t forget you on the day of the lords,

  In a new town, just clutching at straws,

  With the door shut, now the running has ended,

  And a last thought of the chances surrrendered.

  End of Time (1978)

  We resist all of times mutations,

  And lose our hands for all lost creations,

  We left holes in the best laid plans,

  And registered every inward glance.

  For all mysteries never seen and never revealed,

  And the memories, always tired and never too real,

  Yeah, the memories, down on paper cease to exist,

  To uncover all true feelings inside just too much to risk.

  We made out down the roads to nowhere,

  And lost all purpose in the rush to get there,

  From broken homes built on dust and ashes,

  That marked the spots of last years crashes.

  For all mysteries never seen and never revealed,

  And the memories, always hazy, never too real,

  Yeah, the memories of a future everyone shared,

  But when the time came, looking over our shoulders,

  Nobody cared.

  Untitled (1978)

  I walked out and I thought for a time I could see

  No defence, and I thought for a while you were me,

  We were wrong,

  In our time,

  Always down,

  Out of line.

  I relaxed from the days filled with blood sport in vain,

  And returned with the knowledge that we’re two the same,

  Two in Hell,

  Two set free,

  Too alike,

  You to me.

  And we watched everything pass us by in due course,

  Always tied by a mutual feeling that lost,

  We were two,

  Two in Hell,

  Two set free,

  Known too well.

  Untitled (1978)

  Searching for some other way,

  To bring some small relief,

  Never to be satisfied,

  And snatch at all beliefs.

  Didn’t have the energy,

  To make up for my part,

  Everything seemed easy but

  I didn’t have the heart.

  Things that on the surface,

  Seemed so very much the same,

  But once you’ve made the move,

  So long nothing else remains.

  So afraid to make a break,

  For fear of what I’d do,

  It can cause repressive treatment,

  When they put the blame on you.

  I know now just where I stand,

  These thoughts will never cross,

  Victim of security,

  Hoping to get lost.

  Bet you’ve worked the whole machine,

  And never missed out much,

  Still staring in the mirror,

  Trying so hard not to push.

  Put you on a wooden cross,

  Nailed reasons to your hand,

  Covered in self-pity,

  Maybe now you’ll understand.

  Overcrowding

  (written on the reverse of The Only Mistake)

  Faces pressed flat against glass windows,

  Ten men in a room for two,

  Censorship stops here,

  No isolation,

  Only detoxification.

  Abnormal relationships formed,

  In corners and on floors,

  Breathless, breeding and cramped on all fours

  No view, no sense of time.

  It was a strange way to go.

  Untitled (1980)

  Edging towards, a child you may keep,

  Retreading the boards pretty young thing

  You’ll get your reward,

  Permission to speak

  A place to yourself,

  A garden with swings,

  Handwritten cards do nothing to ease,

  The burden

  Where is my release,

  Face up to them all,

  As they sway side to side,

  They put me on show,

  Disgusts and rewinds,

  To take life away

  Was life really there,

  No sound, no

  Untitled and Unfinished

  Avenues all lined with trees,

  Edens garden left for thieves,

  I looked upon an empty stage,

  Where all the young men once had played.

  Inroads leading on and on,

  Filled with strangers every one,

  The arrived and here to stay,

  Look then turn their heads away.

  Buildings torn down to the ground,

  Replaced by new ones thought more sound,

  And as torches glow right thru’ the night,

  A sacrifice for all that’s right.

  I looked ahead an empty space,

  A lifetimes erased,

  and on the reverse …

  hanging from trees by their necks

  typecast forgotten young saviours

  lost by their own grace and favours

  hinder the paths of

  Johnny 23 (1979)

  Door slides open,

  Johnny laughs

  A view from above

  Sticks his head

  Out of the window and dries his eyes

  I remember a winter sometime ago,

  Angular patterns formed deep in the ground

  Where someone once stood

  White on black,

  White on white,

  Echoed voices bouncing off the buildings around.

  A ramp to the trees and trees all around,

  I remember a tear, frozen white on white,

  I remember nothing.

  A grey saloon,

  Johnny sighs,

  Winds down the window and stares at the road.

  Some things never make sense,

  A fear of stepping out,

  Crouches shivering in the corner, blanket round your shoulder,

  Hot then cold, cold then warm, pulse is racing, slowly racing –

  stopped.

  I remember nights spent listening to until dawn,

  I remember nothing.

  Door slowly opens,

  Johnny sits on his bed,

  Lays down and dies.

  GIG LIST

  29 May 1977 Electric Circus, Manchester

  31 May 1977 Rafters, Manchester

  2 June 1977 Newcastle

  June/July 1977 Several gigs at the Squat, Manchester

  30 June 1977 Rafters, Manchester

  3 October 1977 Electric Circus, Manchester

  7 October 1977 Salford Technical College

  8 October 1977 Manchester Polytechnic

  19 October 1977 Pipers Disco, Manchester

  December 1977 Rafters, Manchester

  New Year’s Eve 1977 Swinging Apple, Liverpool (their last gig as Warsaw)

  25 January 1978 Pips disco, Manchester (their first gig as Joy Division)

  14 March 1978 Bowden Vale Youth Club
, Altrincham

  28 March 1978 Rafters, Manchester

  14 April 1978 Rafters, Manchester

  20 May 1978 Mayflower Club, Manchester

  9 June 1978 The Factory, Manchester

  June 1978 Band on the Wall, Manchester

  15 July 1978 Eric’s, Liverpool

  27 July 1978 Roots Club, Leeds

  29 August 1978 Band on the Wall, Manchester

  4 September 1978 Band on the Wall, Manchester

  9 September 1978 Eric’s, Liverpool

  10 September 1978 Royal Standard, Bradford

  20 September 1978 appeared on Granada TV’s What’s On playing ‘Shadowplay’

  2 October 1978 Institute of Technology, Bolton

  12 October 1978 Kelly’s, Manchester

  October 1978 Band on the Wall, Manchester

  20 October 1978 The Factory, Manchester

  24 October 1978 Fan Club, Leeds

  4 November 1978 Eric’s, Liverpool

  14 November 1978 Odeon, Canterbury

  15 November 1978 Brunel University, Uxbridge

  19 November 1978 Bristol

  20 November 1978 Check Inn, Altrincham

  26 November 1978 New Electric Circus, Manchester

  1 December 1978 The Factory, Manchester

  22 December 1978 Revolution Club, York

  27 December 1978 Hope and Anchor, London

  31 January 1979 recorded first John Peel session

  10 February 1979 Bolton.

  14 February 1979 transmission of first John Peel session

  16 February 1979 Eric’s, Liverpool

  28 February 1979 Playhouse, Nottingham

  I March 1979 Hope and Anchor, London

  4 March 1979 Marquee, London

  14 March 1979 Bowden Vale Youth Club, Altrincham

  30 March 1979 Youth Centre, Walthamstow, London

  3 May 1979 Eric’s, Liverpool

  11 May 1979 The Factory, Manchester

  17 May 1979 Acklam Hall, London

  23 May 1979 Bowden Vale, Altrincham

  7 June 1979 Fan Club, Leeds

  13 June 1979 Russell Club, Manchester

  16 June 1979 Odeon, Canterbury

  22 June 1979 Good Mood, Halifax

  3 July 1979 Free Trade Hall, Manchester

  5 July 1979 Limit Club, Sheffield

  11 July 1979 Roots Club, Leeds

  13 July 1979 The Factory, Manchester

  27 July 1979 Imperial Hotel, Blackpool

  28 July 1979 Stuff the Superstars Special, Funhouse Festival, Mayflower Club, Manchester

  2 August 1979 Prince of Wales Conference Centre, YMCA, Tottenham Court Road, London

  8 August 1979 Romulus Club, Birmingham

  11 August 1979 Eric’s, Liverpool

  13 August 1979 Nashville Rooms, London

  24 August 1979 Youth Club, Walthamstow, London

  27 August 1979 Leigh Festival

  31 August 1979 Electric Ballroom, London

  8 September 1979 Futurama ‘79, Queen’s Hall, Leeds

  15 September 1979 ‘Transmission’ and ‘She’s Lost Control’ broadcast on BBC 2’s Something Else

  22 September 1979 Nashville Rooms, London

  28 September 1979 The Factory, Manchester

  2 October 1979 Mountford Hall, Liverpool

  3 October 1979 Leeds University

  4 October 1979 City Hall, Newcastle

  5 October 1979 Apollo, Glasgow

  6 October 1979 Odeon, Edinburgh

  7 October 1979 Capitol, Aberdeen

  8 October 1979 Caird Hall, Dundee

  16 October 1979 Plan K, Brussels

  19 October 1979 Bangor University

  20 October 1979 Loughborough University

  21 October 1979 Top Rank, Sheffield

  22 October 1979 Assembly Rooms, Derby

  23 October 1979 King George’s Hall, Blackburn

  24 October 1979 Odeon, Birmingham

  25 October 1979 St George’s Hall, Bradford

  26 October 1979 Electric Ballroom, London

  27 October 1979 Apollo, Manchester

  28 October 1979 Apollo, Manchester

  29 October 1979 De Montfort Hall, Leicester

  30 October 1979 New Theatre, Oxford

  1 November 1979 Civic Hall, Guilford

  2 November 1979 Winter Gardens, Bournemouth

  3 November 1979 Sofia Gardens, Cardiff

  4 November 1979 Colston Hall, Bristol

  5 November 1979 Pavilion, Hemel Hempstead

  7 November 1979 Pavilion, West Runton

  9 November 1979 Rainbow Theatre, London

  10 November 1979 Rainbow Theatre, London

  26 November 1979 recorded second John Peel session

  8 December 1979 Eric’s, Liverpool, matinée and evening

  10 December 1979 transmission of second John Peel session

  18 December 1979 Les Bains Douche, Paris (thirty minutes of this broadcast on Paris FM radio)

  31 December 1979 New Year’s Eve party and gig above Woolworth’s, Oldham Street, Manchester

  11 January 1980 Paradiso Club, Amsterdam

  12 January 1980 Trojan Horse, The Hague

  13 January 1980 Doornrood, Nitjmegen, Netherlands

  14 January 1980 King Kong, Antwerp

  15 January 1980 The Basement, Cologne

  16 January 1980 Lantaren, Rotterdam

  17 January 1980 Plan K, Brussels

  18 January 1980 Effenaar Club, Eindhoven

  19 January 1980 Club Vera, Gronigen

  21 January 1980 Kantkino, Berlin

  7 February 1980 New Osbourne Club, Manchester

  8 February 1980 University College, London

  20 February 1980 Town Hall, High Wycombe

  28 February 1980 Warehouse, Preston

  29 February 1980 Lyceum, London.

  5 March 1980 Trinity Hall, Bristol

  2 April 1980 Moonlight Club, West Hampstead, London

  3 April 1980 Moonlight Club, West Hampstead, London

  4 April 1980 Moonlight Club, West Hampstead, London

  4 April 1980 Rainbow Theatre, London

  5 April 1980 Malvern Winter Gardens

  8 April 1980 Derby Hall, Bury

  11 April 1980 The Factory, Manchester

  19 April 1980 Ajanta Theatre, Derby

  2 May 1980 High Hall, Birmingham University

  26 June 1980 ‘Love Will Tear Us Apart’ video shown on Granada TV’s Fun Factory.

  INDEX

  Note: Songs and recordings by Joy Division are entered individually; others will be found under the artists’ names.

  Adam, Iain, 1

  Afrique Club, 1

  Ames, Roger, 1

  Anderson, John, 1, 2

  Anderton, James, 1

  Arcachon, 1

  ‘As You Said’, 1

  Atkinson Wood, Helen, 1, 2, 3, 4

  ‘Atmosphere’: discography, 1, 2, 3; lyrics, 1

  ‘Atrocity Exhibition’, 1

  ‘Auto-suggestion’, 1, 2

  Ballard, J.G.: Crash, 1

  Band on the Wall, 1, 2

  Barlow, Sue (later Sue Sumner), 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

  Basczax, 1

  Bates, Iris, 1

  Beard, Ernest, 1, 2, 3

  Beatles, 1, 2, 3

  Bennett, Tracy, 1

  Binnick, Bernie, 1

  Blurt, 1

  Bonn, Chris, 1, 2

  Boon, Richard, 1, 2, 3, 4

  Bordeaux, 1

  Boulder, Trevor, 1

  Boulton, Rebecca, 1

  Bowie, David, 1, 2;

  gigs, 1, 2;

  Low, 1, 2;

  ‘The Man Who Sold the World’, 1;

  ‘My Death’, 1;

  ‘Rock and Roll Suicide’, 1;

  ‘Warsawa’, 1

  Brandwood, Derek, 1, 2

  Brel, Jacques: ‘My Death’, 1

  Briggs, Kelvin, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7,8

  British Epilepsy Association, 1, 2

&nbs
p; Britons’ Protection, 1

  Brotherdale, Gill, 1

  Brotherdale, Steve, 1, 2

  Brussels, 1

  Butter Lane antiques market, 1

  Buzzcocks, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6;

  supported by Joy Division, 1, 2

  Cabaret Voltaire, 1, 2

  ‘Candidate’, 1, 2

  Candy (Border collie), 1, 2, 3

  Captieux, 1

  Carnoustie, 1

  ‘Ceremony’, 1, 2

  Certain Ratio, A, 1, 2, 3, 4

  Chadderton, 1, 2, 3

  Check Inn, 1

  City Fun, 1

  Civil Service, 1, 2, 3, 4

  Claire (friend), 1

  Clarke, John Cooper, 1, 2

  Clash, 1

  Clayton, Bev, 1

  Cleaver, Oliver, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11

  Closer, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

  ‘Colony’, 1

  ‘Conditioned’, 1

  Corbijn, Anton, 1

  Cosgrove Hall, 1

  Costello, Elvis, 1

  Crawling Chaos, 1

  Creedence Clearwater Revival, 1

  Cummins, Kevin, 1

  Curtis, Carole (sister), 1, 2

  Curtis, Deborah (wife): childhood and early life, 1, 2, 3, 4; driving lessons, 1, 2;

  education, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6;

  employment, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8;

  friendship with Tony Nuttall, 1, 2, 3;

  pet dogs, 1, 2;

  AND IAN: first meeting, 1;

  marriage and honeymoon, 1;

  pregnancy and birth of daughter, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6;

  suicide and aftermath, 1, 2, 3;

  see also Woodruff, Audrey; Woodruff, Bob; Woodruff, Jill

  Curtis, Doreen (mother), 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14

  Curtis, Ian CHILDHOOD AND EARLY LIFE, 1, 2;

  education, 1, 2, 3;

  first band, 1;

  interest in death, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5;

  Largactil overdose, 1, 2, 3;

  rebelliousness, 1;

  AND DEBBIE, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16;

  divorce plans, 1, 2, 3;

  engagement, 1;

  fatherhood, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13;

 

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